


Choosing the Open Door

by Willbakefordean



Series: Choosing the Open Door [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Claiming, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Food Porn maybe a little, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mpreg, Oral Sex, graphic birth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-29
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-03-04 03:20:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 53
Words: 144,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2907380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willbakefordean/pseuds/Willbakefordean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Cas are about to have their first child, but the path has not been easy.  The traditional roles of Alpha and Omega don't necessarily suit them and it has been a difficult journey at times.  This is the story of how they finally ignore the closed doors to choose the one that opens...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Longing

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first shot at presenting something publicly. I have read a lot of beautiful fics by talented authors. I just feel an itch I need to scratch by trying one myself. Be kind...i'm not a writer by nature and I have no beta, just have a story i want to share.

           Dean rubbed his hand lovingly over Cas’ enormous belly,whispering sweet affections to the baby within trying hard not to wake his exhausted husband. Cas had been struggling to get any kind of decent sleep lately as his due date approached.  In three short weeks, their world would turn upside down as they become parents for the first time.  Dean couldn't wait and he knew Cas would be relieved to have his body returned to its normal size and shape. 

            Don’t get him wrong, Dean knew Cas was excited to be a parent. They had both wanted kids for as long as they could remember, certainly the entire time they had been together. Cas had just never planned on being the parent who had to carry the baby.  Truth be told, Dean still couldn't believe it himself.  Even as he soothed Cas’ stretched tummy with one hand, his other went to his own flat stomach and felt a little twinge of…longing.  He quickly pushed it out of his mind knowing that he had lost that opportunity when he presented as an Alpha, not the Omega he thought he would be and vice versa for Cas..  No point in beating a dead horse. Dean knew in the end it only mattered that he and Cas had children, not which one of them gave birth to them. 

            Still Dean couldn't help but think about the life he had planned for he and Cas, and how that differed from the one they currently lived.  What was that he read about missing the sights in Paris because you were supposed to go to Rome? The two men had a wonderful life, happy and full of people who loved them and whom they loved.  Regardless of the destination, there was no denying that the road they had traveled together to this point had been interesting. Done sneaking his chance to dote on his expanding family, Dean snuggled up to his husband and the baby so safely carried inside him and drifted off to sleep. 


	2. Memory Lane...Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas remembers the circumstances of his presentation and longs to be more for Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not teaching this week so I have time for frequent updates. This story has been bouncing around in my mind for quite some time, but I have been afraid to let it out. I have imagined parts, dreamed parts and experienced parts of it (of course in more realistic terms), so bear with my primitive presentation, no pun intended.

Cas awoke to the warm feeling of Dean’s arms surrounding him, one over his hips and the other under him and across his chest.  Dean was really understanding about not petting Cas on the stomach all the time even though it really required conscious effort on Dean’s part. Cas was always grateful to Dean for his restraint and at times felt terrible guilt for causing Dean to alter his true affections.  They had come to a mutual, if not heavily Cas driven, agreement in their relationship about things like this but Cas knew Dean longed to swathe him with physical comforts.  

He dropped his feet over the side of the bed and hauled himself to a sitting position.  Jesus, he could not get over how much effort it took to move when he was a massive eight and a half months pregnant.  Before he stood to make his way to the bathroom, he put both hands on his giant incubator of a stomach and whispered a sweet good morning to his and Dean’s little pup.  He would never deny his love of the baby he and Dean had decided to have, even if he didn’t care for the trappings of the pregnancy that came along with it.  Leaving Dean sleeping for a few minutes longer, he pushed himself up with some effort and headed off to the shower.

Cas adjusted the water as hot as he dared, Dean had read that pregnant omegas should take warm not hot showers, before standing in front of the toilet to pee.  He peed so much lately and sometimes he took so long to really go that he had begun to sit and go.  He had even listened to Dean’s advice about lifting his heavy belly and leaning back in a rocking motion to speed the process, though he would never admit that out loud.  It was Dean's bedside table that was covered with birthing books and parenting magazines, not Cas'. Dean read anything and everything he could get his hands on in regards to the baby. He shared with Cas all the things he thought would help him get through the not so fun side of pregnancy. Cas loved him for it even if he was overwhelmed at times. He felt for Dean who thought he would have this role and in truth cherished the idea of it, while Cas tolerated it. Cas flushed the toilet and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror as he headed to the shower.  If it was possible to have grown larger overnight, Cas was pretty sure he had. He couldn’t help but feel a little excitement at the thought of how soon they would meet their little one, but also a little concern for the whole birthing thing that had to occur. 

Birth was Dean’s department.  At least it always had been while they were growing up until the point that the two of them presented. They were best friends growing up on the same street which blossomed into love in their teen years, thankfully embraced by both sides of the family.  Cas remembers the awkward backyard cook out when they had decided to come out to their families who both announced they had known long ago but were glad the boys had told them.   

Cas had never known his parents and was raised by older alpha brothers, Michael, Lucifer, Balthazar and Gabriel who was closest in age to Cas. The two remained close and Cas and Dean frequented Gabe’s coffee shop almost daily.

Dean and Sam had lost both of their parents quite young in a tragic car accident.  Their Uncle Bobby and Aunt Ellen had raised them along with their own daughter, Jo.  Bobby Singer owned a garage and Dean fast became a skilled mechanic and a point of pride for his uncle.  Ellen Harvelle Singer was an Omega midwife and a progressive one at that. She owned a midwife practice and a birthing center that was founded on treating the individual, not the gender role.  That’s where Dean got his sensitivity to the omega role, Cas always thought. 

Both Cas and Dean were labeled late bloomers when they did not present at sixteen or even before graduating high school at eighteen. Sam had even presented as an alpha, which everyone expected, at fourteen during Dean’s senior year. Cas and Dean decided to go to Kansas State together as the families felt it safer for them.  Unpresented individuals sometimes ran into problems in a society that had such established roles and everyone knew that the two of them would be fine together if either presented while away. 

Things were going well for the two sophomores. Dean was studying business in the hopes of helping Uncle Bobby with his garage part time as he raised he and Cas’ pups.  There was nothing wrong with a combination of traditional and modern omega roles in their families.  Cas was studying a double major of accounting and marketing. Cas, Dean and Uncle Bobby had long term plans for transforming Singer Salvage into a classic auto restoration business. The mechanics would be led by Bobby and the business side handled by Cas with Dean having a little hand in both sides as their family grew.  All was going well until one day it wasn’t.

Dean came home from class to find Cas in bed in their dorm room instead of at his late morning lecture.  Cas never skipped class so he knew Dean would be worried. Cas assured him that he thought he had a stomach bug or the flu and that Dean should just have lunch without him and go to his afternoon classes. He would feel better by the evening or the next morning at the latest.  Cas was as alpha as they come in regards to needing any coddling when he felt like shit.  He knew the omega side of Dean wanted to hold and comfort Cas, but he set some juice and Ibuprofen on the desk by Cas’ head, kissed him and he was indeed running a fever, and went off to the dining hall for lunch.  It wasn’t until Dean was gone that he figured out what was happening, that he was presenting and called Gabriel.   

Gabriel came right away and before Cas knew what was going on, his brother was on the phone with the rest of the family and was rushing Cas into clothes, and wrapping him in the spare blanket at the end of the bed.  Balthazar burst into the room, apparently he must have come with Gabe, scooped up Cas and took him to the      waiting and illegally parked car.  Cas knew that the room looked like the sight of a kidnapping, and the last thing he remembered was asking Gabe to call Dean.  He needed Dean, but more than that he needed Dean not to think something terrible had happened when he found the mess they left behind. He was held tightly in Balthazar’s arms but swore he heard Gabe leaving Dean a message before he drifted out of consciousness. 

Cas snapped back to the present when he felt Dean step in the shower behind him and rub his hands up and down Cas' arms .  “Mornin’ babe,” Dean mumbled as he kissed Cas on the back of his neck. “Feelin’ okay this morning?”

“Yeah,” replied Cas, shaking his head at the memory of how he presented as an omega ten years ago and how far he and Dean had come in that time.  He didn’t tell Dean about his thoughts, though he was certain Dean knew where his head was lately. Dean always gave Cas the space he needed yet remained close somehow.  Cas just wanted to be able to return the favor, but he wasn’t quite there yet.

 _Well, it had better be soon_ he thought to himself as he looked down at his soapy tummy.  He turned to Dean and wrapped his arms around the alpha’s waist. It couldn’t hurt to start here.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to know what you are thinking about the story so far, though I know there is not much yet.


	3. Memory Lane Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas remembers the rest of his presenting and we see how he and Dean deal with it. Also, Dean isn't the only one worried about Cas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggle with dialog, so I may not have it in the proper format. I may have to go back and edit some punctuation, so sue me. I will figure it out sooner or later.

Dean was surprised when Cas turned around and hugged him in the shower, especially when he nuzzled into Dean’s neck and scented him.  But Dean wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth and just enjoyed the rare moment.  Cas and Dean had always been affectionate to one another, but Cas had struggled a little since becoming pregnant.  Typically omegas became overly affectionate and emotional during pregnancy, but Cas had almost drawn away from Dean and the family in that sense.  He wasn’t as quick to hug and Dean had asked everyone to give Cas the space he needed, so they did.

“I love you, Dean. You know that, don’t you?” Cas asked with a hesitant look on his face. 

“Of course I know, sweetheart. I love you too.” Dean countered back, holding Cas just a little tighter and relishing the feel as Cas reciprocated the increased snuggling.  He looked into Cas’ beautiful blue eyes and asked,”Everything okay, hon? You sure you feel alright?’

“I’m fine, I just know I’ve not made things easy for you lately.” Cas responded as he leaned up to kiss Dean sweetly on the lips.

“Cas,” Dean pleaded, “Babe, don’t worry about me. You’re the one going through all the hard stuff. I told you before, be what you need to be. I can’t imagine what you must be thinking about what is happening in there.” Dean smiled trying to convey his feelings of understanding to Cas as he gently tapped on his tummy. 

“No,” Cas stated bringing Dean’s hand up to his mouth to kiss his palm and place it on his cheek, “But I know that if you had your way, you wouldn’t have to imagine it at all and I know that must be hard for you.”

“That ship sailed a long time ago, Cas and I made my peace with it,” Dean affirmed, brushing his thumb over Cas’ cheek, “That guilt is not yours to carry. Now let’s get dressed and have some breakfast.”

Dean thought Cas looked better after their shower and he left him to get dressed because Cas assured him that he didn’t need Dean’s help.  Dean threw on his beat up work jeans and a t-shirt and ran downstairs to make a good breakfast for Cas. Regardless of what Cas had said, Dean was worried about his husband.  He looked so uncomfortable lately and combine that with words they had in the shower, Dean felt he had reason for concern.  He would call Ellen later when Cas was busy at the garage to see what she thought, just to be safe.   

Dean made oatmeal with cinnamon nuts and brown sugar, just the way Cas liked it and quickly cut up a fruit salad.  Cas came down in a pair of maternity jeans and a white button  down dress shirt with the sleeves rolled to his elbows.  He would need help with his socks and safety boots that Dean insisted everyone wear in the garage at all times, even if their pregnant feet got hot.

He and Dean ate, discussing the work that lay ahead of them at Singer and Winchester Restorations.  Dean and his crew were finishing his latest project, a red 1961 Chrysler 300G convertible, while Cas and the office crew were readying the end of the month billing cycle.  Cas was also training his computer whiz Ash to take over the office while he was out on leave with the baby. 

They both rinsed their dishes and put them in the dishwasher and headed for the bench by the front door for the ritual of putting on Cas’ shoes now that he could no longer see his own feet.  Dean loved helping Cas but knew that it was a struggle for Cas to accept the help so he made quick work of it and offered Cas a hand up off the bench. 

Dean opened baby’s passenger door for Cas and steadied him with a hand as he plopped down into the seat. He quickly closed the door resisting the urge to fasten the seatbelt for him as well. The glare he had gotten last week was enough of a deterrent to keep Dean from trying that again.

Dean drove them by Gabriel’s coffee shop, The Beanery, like he did every morning.  They always went by early enough that Dean could leave the impala out front while they ran in for their morning coffee.  Well, they weren’t really running as of late, and Cas was getting peppermint herbal tea while Dean got coffee, but it was the morning ritual all the same.

“Hey daddio’s!” Gabe called from behind the counter. “I see your still intact there, brother. Any signs of that pup coming to see Uncle Gabe any time soon?”

Cas rolled his eyes at his brother’s loud outburst in the middle of his shop as the morning rush was beginning.

 “Not yet Gabe, but you’ll be one of the first to know.” Dean quipped back. 

Gabe came around the counter and gave Cas a squeeze on the arm, and Dean a clap on the back only to be pleasantly surprised when Cas pulled him into a hug. He wrapped his arms around Cas, but was mouthing, _Is he alright_ to Dean over his shoulder.

“I can feel your mouth move and the answer is yes, I am fine.” Cas snarked at his brother, but there was affection behind his words. Dean just shrugged his shoulders at Gabe and picked up their order. Gabe made the call me sign against his ear when Cas turned toward the door and Dean nodded in response. 

The rest of the ride to work was uneventful as the two held hands and got their minds into work mode.  Once they reached the garage, they went their separate ways, parting with a kiss. 

Cas liked getting to the office early.  It gave him time to line up what he wanted Ash to do when he got in an hour later.  He also returned phone calls before the place started jumping with the day’s business. Today though, there were no calls to make and Cas’ mind drifted to the reactions he had received from both Dean and his brother when he had offered his affections to them both.  They had both unusually taken aback when he hugged them and it caused Cas to consider how far he had drawn away those affections recently.    

Dean was right, Cas wasn’t sure what to think about what his body was going through.  He just knew that for the sake of having a family with Dean, he had to endure whatever came his way.  He truly felt bad about seeing it that way, but it was the only way he knew how to cope with it.  After all, being an omega wasn’t his choice an had never even crossed his mind, until he presented.  His mind wandered back to his unfinished memories from the shower.

 

When Cas opened his eyes again, Balthazar and Gabriel were getting him undressed in his bedroom at home and he was hot.  He must have slept the whole hour it took to drive home from KSU.  He remembers telling Gabe he had the flu and he didn’t feel good. Gabe looked at Balthazar an back to Cas who was now in a pair of sweatpants under the covers in his bed. 

“Cas, buddy, you don’t have the flu,” Gabe soothed, wiping a cold cloth over his forehead. 

Cas leaned into the cloth in Gabe’s hand, it felt so good. He must be really sick if it wasn’t just the flu and he felt this bad. “What have I got, then,” he remembers asking. 

Cas’ eyes snapped open and focused on Gabe. He remembered calling Gabe because he thought he was presenting.  It all began to click into place…the rush of his brothers ushering him home, not feelng well, the itching sensation he was feeling, but he couldn’t fit the piece with the fever. Ruts didn’t come with a fever, only…

Cas searched for his brothers’ faces and when he found them, he had his answer.  Heat. He was in his first heat.  He was an omega.  He couldn’t hold back the tears and his brothers held him as he began to wail piteous sobs.  He was an omega, not Dean’s alpha. What would happen now…?

When Cas woke again, he wasn’t just hot, he was on fire. He could hear voices, brothers voices and a sweet cool voice…Dean’s voice.

“Dean,” he called weakly, burning for the coolness that was Dean.

Suddenly there was silence but the faces were close. Dean was close. Dean was crying, his Dean was crying.  Cas reached out and Dean nearly crushed him with his hug. Cas began to wail again, sad, sad sobs and no one’s eyes were dry after that.

“I’m sorry, Dean. I’m sorry,” he kept repeating and crying out to Dean.

“It’s alright Cas, it’s gonna be okay. I’m here, your brothers are here and so is Ellen.  We’re gonna help you, Cas.  We’re gonna help you.” Dean kept repeating the words like a mantra to Cas, rocking him in his arms.  Cas felt himself fade out again, into the oppressive heat.

The next time Cas woke, he wasn’t as hot, but he was a mess.  He felt wet and sweaty in places he had never felt that way before.  He knew he smelled awful, but he looked up and there was Dean, smiling at Cas through tears.  Ellen was next to Dean and she was trying to tell him something. Dean wiped Cas’ face with a cold cloth and that helped him focus on Ellen’s voice.

She explained that Cas had indeed presented as an omega and gone through his first heat.  He had been in and out for three days.  She had given Cas medicine to help him through the heat because he was unmated and had no alpha. He heard Dean choke back a sob when Ellen said that.  She said that he would have to take the meds each heat until he was mated, or had an alpha who could help him through the heats. Otherwise, she said, the fever could take him. 

So here he was disgusting and smelly in his own heat sweat and slick being told he had to have some alpha’s knot or medication every month until he found a mate or he could die.  He looked to Dean and realized that he could never be what Dean needed. He would never, ever be Dean’s alpha and he had to find another mate.

Dean was so kind and sweet and loving and he deserved an alpha who could protect him and allow him the chance to be those things, to raise the family they had talked about so many times.

Dean was also smart and intuitive and must have known exactly what Cas was thinking because he told Cas to stop thinking all those terrible thoughts and that he wasn’t going anywhere and the monthly medicine wouldn’t be so bad once Cas got used to it.

Society wouldn’t readily accept two mated omegas, but Dean was willing to stay with Cas and make it work. Cas knew it was a long shot, but it was the only shot they had together.

Cas felt someone shaking his shoulder and turned to see Dean’s face scrunched in worry. His words began to register as well.

“Cas, Honey! Answer me! Are you alright?” Dean pleaded.

“Oh Dean, I’m so sorry, yes I’m fine!” Cas answered. “I was daydreaming, that’s all, I feel fine.”

“Jesus, Cas. I was gonna call someone. Are you sure you’re alright, ‘cause if I’m bein’ honest, I don’t think you are.” Dean confided. 

“Dean, I…” Cas hesitated.

“What Cas, Jesus! Spit it out, you’re scarin’ the shit out of me here!” barked Dean.

“I was remembering when I found out I was an omega, okay! Are you happy now Dean? I was remembering how shitty I felt and then how you said we would stick together no matter what people thought.” Cas shouted, then quickly covered his face in shame for yelling at the very man who had been so willing to sacrifice so much just to be with him.

Dean pulled Cas’ hands away from his face and cooed to him soothingly, “You don’t ever have to hide from me, Cas. Don’t ever think that you have to hide your feelings from me, ‘cause you don’t.” and he gathered up Cas in his arms. 

“I know having this baby is hard for you. You have your reasons. I’ve accepted that Cas.” Dean said as he held his husband. “I’m just worried about you. I’m really not trying to pressure you into any chick flick moments, I swear.”

“I know, Dean. I believe you. I’m just trying to think through some things. I really do feel fine, fat but fine.” Cas smiled as he reassured Dean.

“Okay, babe, okay. I’ll let it go. Just promise me you will tell me if something is wrong or if it’s time or whatever.” Dean implored as he leaned down and kissed Cas.

“Cross my heart.” Cas promised as Dean gave Cas one more kiss and then left the office to head back to the garage.

 


	4. It Doesn't Even Hurt That Bad!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas confides in Dean about a backache that comes and goes, and Sam can't believe what he sees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really getting angsty here, but it will come to a head soon, and then fluff will ensue. Maybe a little smut, though I am nervous about the smut. The boys are suffering, but I only do happy endings.

Dean remained concerned about Cas despite the assurances his husband had tried to grant him.  He called Ellen and talked with her about what was happening. She did her best to alleviate Dean’s worries, but they all knew that Cas was keeping his cards close to his chest during this pregnancy. 

Dean also called Gabe and the two commiserated about how badly they wanted to be let into Cas’ thoughts, but were simply held at arm’s length by the stubborn omega.  Dean invited Gabe to join them for dinner. He knew Gabe would appreciate getting to see Cas after his odd interaction this morning. Sam and Jess were coming over anyway, what difference was one more?

Sam had met Jess while in law school at Stanford and the two had immediately become mates.  They had married when Sam graduated and by twenty five, Sam was a father.  Jess was a beautiful blonde omega, and one hell of an attorney.  She was good for Sam, who had been raised with modern ideas about gender roles.  If anyone understood Dean and Cas’ relationship it was Sam and Jess.  They worked hard to balance their work and home life, and they were successful.  It was after watching Sam and Jess make their own path into parenthood that had really helped Cas decide it was time to have a baby.  It had always been time for Dean, but he knew Cas needed more time. Dean always hoped Jess’ approach to motherhood would help Cas as they made the choice to start their own little family.

Dean peeked in at Cas several times throughout the morning and noticed that Cas was rubbing his lower back a lot.  He made a point to be sure to give Cas a really good back rub tonight after dinner. 

At lunch time, Cas popped in to the garage walking a little gingerly, in Dean’s judgment. He looked Dean over for grease spots before wrapping his arms around Dean.

“Rub my back a little, please?” Cas asked, placing Dean’s hands on his lower back. Dean scooted his hands a little further giving his husbands cheeks a slight squeeze. Jesus, Dean loved Cas and thought he was so damn sexy. He especially thought pregnant Cas was hot.  He wished Cas could appreciate the changes in his body the way Dean did.

“That’s not my back, Dean,” admonished Cas with a grin. 

“Sorry,” smirked Dean and raised his hands to gently massage the tired muscles of Cas’ lower back.  Cas seemed to melt into Dean’s touch and leaned heavily against his husband. 

“Wanna go to the beanery for lunch? I want one of Gabe’s pecan crusted chicken salads,” Cas moaned against the pressure of Dean’s hands. “Wow that feels great, babe.”

“Sure,” Dean retorted, “but I think what you really want is one of Gabe’s chocolate croissants!”

Cas pretended to look offended, but he knew Dean wasn’t far off from the truth. Gabe made a mean chocolate croissant. 

 

Gabe was glad to see Cas and Dean and even sat with them for lunch. “So Gabe, did Dean invite you to dinner when he called you earlier?” Cas solicited before shoving a fork full of chicken into his mouth.

Dean and Gabe suddenly found their plates very interesting. “Cas,” Gabe began.

‘It’s alright, I know you two are in cahoots with each other behind my back. I get it, you’re both worried,” Cas surrendered. “I’m flattered, really.”

 Now the two conspirators knew they were in for it when Cas agreed with them.  But he was surprisingly open with them about how he felt.

“Truthfully, I wanted to come to lunch today with you two,” Cas continued looking down and spearing his salad. “I have had a backache off and on all day, and I am beginning to wonder if maybe it isn’t just a backache.”

Met with complete silence he glanced up to find both his brother and husband holding their forks mid air, frozen in place and staring at Cas. He put his hands under each of their chins mocking their open mouths by pretending to close them. “Be careful, you might catch flies like that,” Cas grinned nervously.

Both men jumped as Cas’ touch and began to fire questions at the heavily pregnant omega. 

“Relax, both of you,” Cas instructed.  “It seems to have stopped for now, but I’d rather go home than back to work if you don’t mind, Dean.”

“No, Cas of course I don’t mind. We can go home right now if you want, no problem,” Dean soothed, rubbing Cas’ arm and placing his hand on Cas’ tummy.

“Babe,” Cas declared giving Dean’s hand a squeeze before removing it from his stomach, “I don’t want to go home until we finish lunch and I have had my chocolate croissant.”

“I can box up croissants for you, Cas, if you need to go home,” Gabe interjected.  “Are you in labor? Should we call Ellen?”

Cas sighed, frustrated, “I’m fine! Nobody is calling anyone! Is that clear,” Cas pointed at the two concerned men. ”I should have kept my mouth shut. You two are not gonna be able to let this go, are you?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa here Cas,” Dean hushed.  “It’s okay, we’re glad you told us and no one is gonna call anyone unless you tell us to, right Gabe?” Dean eyed Gabe hoping he would take the hint.

Gabe got the message loud and clear and nodded at Cas.

Cas seemed to relax at Dean’s reassurance and Gabe got dessert when Cas deemed they were ready.  He got Cas his chocolate croissant and Dean a piece of strawberry rhubarb pie.

Watching Dean eat pie was sinful, Cas thought.  He realized that he had three reasons to love June: watching Dean eat strawberry rhubarb pie; their wedding anniversary, could it really have been six years already;  and hopefully the birth of their pup. Yeah, June was a pretty good month. 

Feeling pretty worn out and ready for a nap, Cas prompted Dean, “Ready to go when you are, Dean.  We will see you tonight, Gabe.”

“Just let me call Benny and let him know we won’t be going back to work,” Dean answered, dialing the garage. 

“Dean, just drop me off and go back to work, all I’m going to do is sleep.” Cas stated matter of factly.

Dean looked incredulously at Cas. “If you think I am leaving you alone after the bomb you just dropped on us, you’ve got another thing coming.”

“I’ll be f-“ Cas began before Gabe interrupted him.

“Hold up there buddy,” Gabe interjected, “I’m all for giving you space, or control or whatever the hell we’ve been calling this for eight months, but you are not going anywhere alone again until this pup comes, am I right Dean?”

“Damn skippy, Gabe!”

 Honestly, Cas was just too tired to argue anymore, “Well, lead away alpha,” Cas conceded to the surprise of both Dean and Gabe.

Dean really wanted to slide into bed with Cas and snuggle, or at least tuck his sweet omega in and pamper him for a while, but Cas would have none of it.

“You have a lot to do to get ready for dinner tonight, Dean without doting over me,” Cas persisted when Dean tried to indulge his desire to baby Cas a little.

“Alright there grumpy, here is your phone if you need anything,” Dean set Cas cell on his bedside table. “There are also the baby books if you want something to read,” he added knowing that Cas hadn’t read one yet and probably wouldn’t before the baby came. He had even enlisted Jess to help him convince Cas to take a childbirth class, to no avail.

Cas just rolled his eyes and his tummy over to lay on his left side as Dean insisted was best for the baby.  He didn’t say anything to Dean, but he was really looking forward to talking with Jess about what he felt in his back today. He wasn’t worried per se, but more like curious about what he was experiencing. He dosed off plotting to get Jess alone at some point in the evening.

Cas woke up to the smell of something delicious and a dull ache in his back. He grabbed his phone and saw that it was almost five and people would be arriving for dinner soon. He pushed himself to his feet, stopping to gain his balance with his expanding belly.  A shower sounded really good, so he grabbed clean underwear and headed to the bathroom. As he began to unbutton his shirt, he noticed two discolored stains on his chest. When he got the shirt off, he noticed a crustiness to his nipples.

“Great! Now not only am I getting boobs, but they are leaking shit!” he lamented. Another question for Jess tonight.

He took his time in the shower and was careful when he discovered the spray actually hurt when it hit his chest.  He dressed in another fabulous pair of maternity jeans, with a plain white maternity tee and an open denim shirt with the sleeved rolled to the elbows. He knew it was warm, but he felt more comfortable in layers, especially now with the leaking issue. 

Dean could hear Cas was up and resisted the urge to supervise Cas when he heard the shower turn on.  He wanted Cas to have fun tonight and maybe talk with Jess a little about the coming events. 

Dean was relieved when he heard Cas coming down the stairs and he couldn’t resist giving Cas a quick squeeze. When he heard Cas draw in a sharp breath, he released him immediately, apologizing, “Sorry, babe. I didn’t think I squeezed that hard.”

“You didn’t Dean,” Cas groaned, “Just another development in paradise, painful, leaky boobs. Yay!”

Oh, really? Huh,” Dean answered trying to sound nonchalant, “That’s new, maybe I should take a look,” he reached for the hem of Cas’ t-shirt.

Cas smacked his hands away as a gut reaction and then saw the hurt look in Dean’s eyes.

“It’s fine Cas, I didn’t mean to catch you off guard.” He reached tentatively to brush his hand down Cas shoulder. It was still hard sometimes for Dean to remember Cas being shy about his body. He had never been shy physically with Dean before the baby, in fact they often walked around practically naked when they knew they wouldn’t have company. Once they had been so eager to get each other naked upon their return from grocery shopping that they had even had amazing loud sex in the kitchen before they realized they had never closed the front door.  Mrs. Bennett, across the street still didn’t make direct eye contact with either of them.

The door opening broke the slight tension and Sam and Jess walked in with baby Henry and all of his equipment in tow.  Jess handed off six month old Henry after a quick kiss to Cas’ cheek, “Hi Uncle Cas,” she chirped and then turned to sort out the bags and pack and play Sam was saddled with, “How’ve you been feeling this week?”

Cas answered through the hand that Henry was smacking against his mouth, “Oh you know, same old stuff, giant and tired.”

Dean loved to watch Cas with Henry. There was no doubt that Cas would be a good mother, or father, or Dad or whatever he decided he wanted to be called.  That was one of the topics on the undecided list. Cas balked at being called a mother, but also at being called a father, so Dean kind of just avoided the labels altogether.

“Heya Cas!” Sam broke Dean out of his thoughts when he crossed the living room to hug Cas. Dean ran over to warn Sam that Cas was a little sensitive and got the hairy eyeball from Cas for mentioning anything.  Sam winked at Cas and smiled sympathetically at Dean.  He knew Dean was really trying to be supportive of Cas’ needs and was struggling at times. Sam had been on the receiving end of many a teary phone call from his uncharacteristically sweet and sensitive alpha brother.

Gabe showed up shortly after Sam and Jess with strawberry shortcake for dessert.

Dean had grilled london broil and made potato and onion packets for everyone. There was a big green salad as well. They ate out at the table on the back deck.

Everyone was enjoying the meal but Dean could see that Cas was using Henry as an excuse not to eat much.  “Here, hon,” Dean offered, “let me hold him while you eat.”

“I ate a lot at lunch, babe, but you can take him. My back seems to be bothering me again,” Cas admitted openly as he reached to place his hands on his lower back.

The whole table turned to Cas with questioning gazes. Jess was up and around the table before anyone else. She offered a hand to Cas and he nodded before she actually rubbed his back with it.

“Does it hurt all the time now, Cas?” Jess asked innocently with her charming smile. 

“Nah, it’s been on and off all day.  I must be tired though, because it seems worse tonight,” Cas answered Jess softly. Jess pulled Cas’ head into her and held him as she rubbed his back. They were all a little surprised when he let her and she shot a concerned look over Cas’ head to Dean.

Dean knew this would happen, he knew it! Cas was dead set against reading any books or taking any classes and he even made Dean turn the channel when the TV showed anything about childbirth. Dean was so eager to keep Cas happy and so grateful Cas was willing to be pregnant that he allowed play ostrich and hide his head in the sand. 

Dean and Jess had quibbled over this topic more than once. Jess insisted that it would not benefit Cas in the long run and she had been right.  One look from Jess and Dean knew she thought Cas was in labor and didn’t even recognize it.  Dean had enabled Cas into being unprepared for the labor and delivery of their pup.

Jess, without so much as one _I told you so,_ brought Cas into the house and beckoned Dean to follow.  She sat them both on the couch and being the sweet girl she is laid it out in front of Cas. “I think you might be in labor, Cas.  I think Dean should start timing your back ache to see if there is a pattern. It might be contractions, Cas,” she gently stated as she watched Cas’ eyes open wider and wider. “Do you understand, Cas? Do you think it might be time?”

“I don’t know, Jess…I…I don’t know what to look for…I…I…my chest was sore when I woke up from my nap and there were spots on my shirt and crusty stuff…” Cas looked truly stunned and Dean put his arm around Cas shoulder while Jess took his hands sweetly.

“It’s alright Cas, you’re alright, but I’m going to have Dean call Ellen, okay” she looked right into Cas’ eyes seeking permission but seeming prepared to insist. When Cas nodded, she motioned for Dean to join her in the kitchen and sent Gabe and Sam in to be with Cas.

Ellen told Dean to time the pains to see if they were contractions and to come to the clinic if the pains were closer than ten minutes. Dean had read you should wait until the contractions were five minutes apart but Ellen wanted to see Cas early because he was a male omega, giving birth for the first time. 

Dean and Cas sat in the living room and Cas kept track of the contractions, much to Dean’s dismay, in a notebook after Dean told him how.  Gabe, Sam and Jess cleaned up the dinner and whispered in the kitchen.

There was little doubt that Cas was in early labor, he could see it for himself in the pattern of the times pains.  They weren’t bad, just consistent. Dean was buzzing between the nursery, their bedroom and Cas’ side, getting things ready. He had partially packed a bag for Cas and he finished it now as well as one for himself just as the baby book had instructed.  He also packed a bag for the baby, though they had no car seat yet.  Sam told Dean he and Gabe would pick one out for them if it became necessary.

When he came back down, he offered Cas his hand to squeeze and tried to hide his hurt when Cas cas refused and said it wasn’t that bad.  Jess gave Dean’s shoulder a squeeze, she knew he was struggling with where he belonged in this process and how to best support Cas.

Jess looked down at the notebook that Cas was silently filling with data, and saw that the contraction had reached about 8 minutes apart.  She glanced at Dean while she stated, “Cas I think it’s time to go,” adding a soft, “don’t you?”

Cas didn’t answer right away, putting his head in his hands and then stated, “It doesn’t really hurt that bad.”

Jess countered his response as only another omega could, “Some omegas have a higher pain threshold, Cas. Ellen said ten minutes apart.”

Gabe and Dean flanked Cas ready to offer help and Gabe reached out to Cas to offer a comforting touch. “Don’t, Gabe,” Cas said through clenched teeth as he shirked away from his touch. He shot Dean a warning glance and Dean winced at the glare. Sam looked truly stunned,like he finally understood the severity of what Dean had been trying to tell him.  

Everyone remained still as Cas got up and walked to the door leading to the garage. “Alright! You’re all so ready to get me to Ellen’s, let’s go!” They all jumped into action at Cas’ command.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to hear what you think so far. I'm a big commenter when I read, and would love a little feedback.


	5. Together We Are One Heart...Aren't We?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They arrive at the birthing center and we learn a little more about how Dean presented. Cas defines the dynamic of the boys relationship and we see the beginning of how they spiraled out of touch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for dragging out the angst, but it has to be done. Keep in mind, I'm a happy ender...

Dean threw the bags in the trunk, handed his keys to Gabriel and climbed in to the back seat of Baby with Cas.  Sam and Jess took Henry and followed in their car. They all made their way to the omega birthing center where Ellen was meeting them. 

Cas stayed over on his side of the car and Dean wanted desperately to comfort him.  He could tell it wasn’t going to happen, so he sat back and waited swallowing the lump in his throat. He had tried so hard to give Cas what he thought he needed and he had failed.  Cas was rejecting him when Dean knew he should and probably did need him the most. He simply did not understand how he had let Cas slowly push him away like he had.

Dean had not felt this level of despair since he and Cas had presented. Cas presenting as an omega was difficult enough, but over the two years that followed, the two men had come to grips with being mated omegas. They had even discussed the possibility of finding a donor when they were ready for Dean to get pregnant. 

Dean had always wanted to be a mother… always.  He looked forward to being a mechanic and running a business, but he was his happiest when he was taking care of Cas and their home. He didn’t care if you labeled him traditional or old fashioned, he just wanted to love and support Cas and be a mom. He cherished the role and it came naturally to him.  He never felt degraded or owned by Cas in their relationship and as far as Dean was concerned the sky was the limit.

When Dean woke up the week before he and Cas graduated from KSU and felt under the weather, he knew he was going into heat. He woke up Cas, and made plans to contact his professors.  When he began to feel an aggressive need to mount Cas, and no slick developed, he became concerned.  He locked himself in the bathroom and told Cas to call Ellen or Bobby. While he was waiting for his parents to come, his first knot popped and his world began to fall apart. 

Cas called out to him and begged him to open the door, but Dean stayed behind the door sobbing through his first rut. When Bobby and Ellen got there, he would only allow Bobby in the bathroom. 

He remembered screaming out to Bobby, “Help me Uncle Bobby, help me”,  and the feel of Bobby holding him and crying with him, embarrassing erection, knot and all.  His uncle calmed him and told him that Ellen had brought a shot that would allow them to get him home and safe to get through his rut if he wanted.  He also told him that Cas had expressed his willingness to help Dean through his rut as well.  It was Dean’s choice which route to take.

Dean and Cas slept together every night, but had never exchanged more that blow jobs and hand jobs and Dean certainly wasn’t going to mount him like some giant knot head the first time they had real sex. So he let Ellen in to give him the shot.  Bobby got Dean in to the shower and dressed in clean clothes before he left the bathroom to face Cas.  Even tranquilized, he felt the loss of his omega status and he lost it again when he saw Cas.  The two cried together in the middle of their apartment while Bobby and Ellen held each other and cried along with them.  He remembered Cas telling him it would be okay, at least they could help each other during heats and ruts, but Dean was in mourning for his lost motherhood.

He finished out his rut and went through the motions of graduation, for his family’s sake, hating what he had become, and missing what he could never have. He and Cas moved back home, but it took weeks for him to share a bed with Cas again. 

It was Ellen who finally broke through to him and helped him come out the other side of his disappointment and return to his Cas.  Ellen helped Dean to see that even though he would never bear a child he would still be a parent with Cas. Dean began to see the silver lining of he and Cas being a mated alpha/omega pair.

The two made love for the first time and soon realized the joys of heat and rut sex. Dean made peace with his role as alpha after one particularly long afternoon with Ellen and looked forward to marrying Cas and starting a family, regardless of how they accomplished that. Things might be different, but they were together and together they were one heart

 

Dean startled back to the present when he heard Cas whine and rub at his stomach in obvious pain.

“Cas,” Dean spoke softly, “what’s happening?”  He winced at the stupidity of his question, preparing for Cas to snap at him.

However, to his surprise Cas just answered, “Hurts worse.” He dropped his head back to rest on the seat as he grimaced through the pain.

Luckily they pulled up in front of the birthing center before he felt another contraction.  Dean ran around to open Cas’ door for him and offered him a hand getting out of the car.

Once Cas was out of the car and on his feet, he dropped Dean’s hand and walked to the door. He had been here many times over that last few months, but today his journey flashed through his mind in bits and pieces.

He remembered the precise moment at Sam and Jess’ baby shower when Dean’s smile convinced him to get pregnant. A week later was the heat when he allowed Dean to put a pup in him. Dean’s face when the home test was positive was absolutely priceless. Unfortunately, for Cas pregnancy got more complicated and less fun from that point.  He was fine at home and work, or with family. It was the rest of the world that insisted he play the traditional role as omega.

Dean and Cas’ natural personalities were reversed for their gender roles. When they were in public with people who didn’t know them, it was assumed that Dean was the omega and Cas was the alpha.  It was silly, but Dean cried at the sad parts of movies, was drawn to babies and their moms, and spent hours in the house ware sections of department stores. 

Cas looked like the ever bored alpha nodding at the colors of towels or the latest non-stick pan, pulled out Dean’s chair and ordered from them at dinner. He often offered Dean his arm, held his hand or ushered him through a crowd with his hand on the small of his back, even though Dean was the taller and bulkier of the two.

That’s the way their relationship and marriage progressed. It worked for them and they could care less about what anyone else thought or figured out.

Things changed when Cas became pregnant.  His scent must have been stronger or sweeter, because suddenly things were addressed to Dean. _What would his omega like_ , _is that okay with you alpha,_ when Cas would attempt to pay for things at the grocery store. Cas never knew which was worst, the endearing looks towards the dutiful omega or the cat calls for the bred up full of pups omega, both caused him to cringe.  

The most traumatizing situation occurred when Cas convinced Dean to let him go to a traditional omega practice run by doctors because he didn’t wasn’t his mother in law to see him completely naked or deliver the baby.  Looking disappointed, Dean conceded and took Cas to his first appointment. 

When Dean stood back and let Cas answer all the questions, they thought Cas was the alpha providing information about Dean. When Cas corrected them, the receptionist would no longer accept Cas’ answers and looked to Dean as the alpha.  In the exam room, Cas was talked about by the nurses and doctor like he wasn’t in the room. The staff became frustrated when Dean kept telling them to ask Cas. 

They didn’t even leave the room when they had him change into a gown. Dean put himself between the Cas and the impatient staff, trying to give his husband a little privacy.  Cas said he was okay, but Dean put his foot down when they started to roughly examine Cas asking Dean if he was sure the pup was his.  Cas tried to sit up but the nurses pushed him back down and tried to force his feet into the stirrups. At that point Cas heard Dean’s feral growl and nodded meekly when Dean offered to take Cas home and find a new doctor.

Cas remembered Dean dressing him and putting him in the car. He leaned against the window silently as Dean apologized for going alpha on Cas.

Cas interrupted Dean asking him to pull over. He barely got the door open before he violently emptied his stomach on the side of the road.  Dean offered him a napkin from the glove compartment helped him back into the car.  Cas had been suffering from morning sickness, but today’s events had him really feeling awful and he asked Dean in he thought Ellen would see them that afternoon. Ellen must have cleared her calendar the moment Dean made the call.

Ellen met them by the front counter and Cas remembered how he had walked right up to her, buried his face on her shoulder and calling her mom, sobbed for her to help him.  Ellen told Dean to wait while she took Cas into the back for a few minutes.  Cas knew Dean could hear him crying and probably ached to hold him, but he needed the time with Ellen to process what had happened, omega to omega. He gave himself that even though he knew Dean was probably feeling out of place and rather like a knot head alpha.  

When Cas finally went back to the waiting room, Dean offered to get the car. Cas informed Dean that he had come to get him so he could be there for the real appointment. He would never forget the look of relief on Dean’s face.

Cas would never have kept Dean from being there when Ellen examined him.  He knew Dean would experience this pregnancy vicariously through Cas. As both Cas and Ellen expected, Dean snapped photos and cried through the entire appointment. He was due in June, right around the time of their sixth wedding anniversary. They left the clinic, Dean walking on air completely unaware of the fear in Cas who was not sure of how to get through it all

 

A building contraction interrupted Cas’ thoughts. They were really getting sharp at the peak and Cas was beginning to think he had jinxed himself with his comment about it not really hurting that bad.  He rubbed at his belly fruitlessly willing away the pain.  Dean tried to comfort Cas and he wanted to let him, but something internal stopped him. There was nothing like pain to bring forth clarity of vision in a situation in which he felt no control. 

Cas saw Ellen’s face and he knew that she had seen him reject his alpha’s help. Even a modern omega like Ellen wouldn’t reject her alpha like Cas did Dean. Just one more way he was a failure in his role. Everything began to spin. Ellen came up on one side and her daughter Jo, who was an omega nurse came up on the other both taking his elbows and trying to usher him to God knows what through the door from the waiting area into the back of the clinic.

That’s when Cas felt something snap, or rather heard something. What he didn’t realize was it was his own voice shouting, “Don’t touch me, don’t…I don’t want anyone to touch me!”

Then he heard another voice, a sweet coolness he hadn’t heard since his first heat so long ago. It was Dean, his sweet, cool Dean calling to him, grounding him. “Cas! That’s enough! Listen to my voice, Cas. Stop shouting and listen. I’m going to help you Cas and you’re going to let me.”  Cas surprised even himself by letting his alpha help him through the door, down the hall and into a birthing room.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the commenters! It really helps keep one going. I hope that you are all enjoying this so far.


	6. A Mother's Love...and Sneaky Ways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas is monitored, Dean suffers, Jo bitches, but it's Ellen who takes the bull by the horns!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ellen is a clever mom! I'm happier with this than I thought I would be. I thought I would write a few thousand words and no one would even notice, but I am liking the process so it's become longer than I intended. Hope you enjoy! Happy New Year to you all!

Dean followed Ellen as she led down the hall to the birthing room she had readied for Cas. She nodded towards the bed and Dean ushered Cas over and sat him down just as another contraction hit him.   Cas sucked in a sharp breath and Dean continued to hold one of Cas’ hands while he attempted to put his other arm around his shoulders and rub soothingly.  Cas, unresponsive to dean's soothing, gripped at his stomach with his other hand and breathed erratically through the pain. 

When it seemed to have subsided, Ellen spoke to Cas. “We are going to observe you for a while Cas to see how far along you are in your labor. You can stay in your regular clothes until we decide if we are going to examine you internally.  The first thing I would like to do is have Jo take your vitals and then listen to the heartbeat with the Doppler, just like at your regular appointments. You okay with that plan, Cas?” Ellen questioned as she rubbed a hand through the hair beginning to stick to Cas’ forehead.

Cas nodded and Ellen stepped out of the room as Jo made quick work of getting Cas’ temp, pulse, and blood pressure, making notes in a laptop on a rolling stand nearby. When she turned back towards the bed, she instructed Cas to lay back on the bed so she could listen to the heartbeat.  Cas did as she asked, with a little effort given the size of his stomach.  Jo lifted his shirt and Cas became visibly uncomfortable. Dean wasn't entirely sure if it was another contraction or if Cas was embarrassed at Jo seeing his exposed belly. 

Jo noticed the change and apologized, “Sorry Cas, part of the gig,” she smiled, clearly trying to put Cas at ease.”Dean, don’t be shy, come on over and hold Cas’ hand while we listen to your pup’s heartbeat.”

Dean was making his way over from where he had moved to avoid being in Jo’s way during the exam just as Cas piped up, “No. I’m fine, you go ahead Jo.” The dismissal was not lost on Jo who almost couldn't hide her shock. Luckily, at that very moment the Doppler picked up with whoosh, whoosh, whoosh of the baby’s heart.  “There you are you little devil, you,” she chuckled at Cas’ belly, “Sounds good and strong there mom and dad. Dean why don’t you help Cas clean up and get comfortable while I go update mom with the vitals. “

Cas visibly winced at the mom and dad comment and Dean jumped to correct her as he approached Cas.”Actually, Jo,” Dean started awkwardly, Cas isn’t sure what the baby…I mean…what we…” the blush slowly crept up Dean’s cheeks as Cas jumped in and blandly finished his explanation.

“What Dean is trying to say is that I am not sure if I want to be mom or if we are both going to be dad to the baby, Jo. And I can clean myself up fine,” he blurted our as he grabbed the tissue Jo was offering Dean.

Jo definitely couldn’t hide her feelings after that and blushing herself, she repented, “I apologize, Cas. I should have asked how you preferred to be addressed. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I’ll just go give Ellen the update.” As she left, she shot Dean a look that let him know she was both puzzled and shocked at Cas’ behavior. 

Dean stood awkwardly in the center of the room while Cas wiped his stomach, lowered his shirt and pushed himself further back on the bed. The head of the bed was raised now so Cas scooted himself up so his butt was at the bend of the mattress and his head rested on the pillow. Dean could see by the look on his face that another contraction was starting, but Cas gave no indication of needing or wanting Dean’s support. Listening to Cas breath and the slight moan at what must have been the peak of the contraction while he stood in the middle of the room was devastating. Dean honestly did not know what to do and it was all he could do to hold it together.

As Cas’ contraction ended, Ellen and Jo reappeared, giving Dean a knowing look and bringing in more equipment. “ Cas, we are going to hook you up to a fetal monitor to measure the strength and pattern of the contractions. Once we have a baseline reading, we will decide how often we need to take additional readings.  We don’t leave you hooked up the entire time you labor like they do in the hospital.  We want you to feel free to move around with your husband’s support and do whatever makes you most comfortable.” Dean could swear he saw Ellen flash Cas a pointed look as she uttered the last of her statement, but butter could have melted in her mouth she spoke affectionately to him.

Jo moved a chair over to the bed and physically pushed Dean down into it, “Sit right down here Dean,” she told him, “We’ll pop in and out, but you can hit this call button if you or Cas need anything of if something changes while we are out. Also, Sam, Jess and Gabe are in the waiting room. Would you like them to come in?”

Dean loved Jo for shoving his ass in a chain next to Cas and he could tell she and Ellen had had words in the hall about how ill at ease he and Cas seemed with one another. He knew she was aware the Cas struggled with his feelings about the pregnancy, but clearly she didn’t realize to what degree.  She shot him a look of complete disbelief when he gingerly answered her question, “I’d like them to come in, but I’m not sure how Cas feels about it. It’s his decision, really, he’s the one having the baby.” Jo looked from him to Cas like there was a three headed giraffe in the room. Cas saved them all by telling Jo that Sam, Jess and Gabe were welcome to come in the room.   

While Jo went to get the rest of their family, Ellen fitted the straps and paddles of the fetal monitor onto Cas’ belly under his shirt.  She adjusted them until she heard the baby’s heartbeat. She smiled at them both when the sound remained steady. “There, listen to that while you both sit here like idiots who haven’t been in love since you were 15 years old.  Maybe your pup can talk some sense into both of you.” Just as both of their jaws hit the floor, Jo returned with their siblings in tow.

Gabe and Jess rushed over to Cas, fawning all over him while Sam squeezed Dean on the shoulder.  From the shiny eyed, sympathetic look Sam gave him, Dean cold tell that they had all been talking when they weren’t in the birthing room. “How ya feelin’, Cas?” Sam shot over Jess and Gabe, wrapping his arm around Dean’s shoulders as he spoke.  Cas was clearly mid contraction again but gave a thumbs up to Sam. 

“The real question of the hour is how are you feeling?” Sam squeezed Dean into a vice like side hug as he quietly spoke Dean.

“Don’t Sam,” Dean pleaded softly, “Man I’m so close to losin’ it. I just can’t…” Dean rubbed his forehead, hiding his face, but Sam could see his mouth start to quiver.

Hey, Cas, do you mind if I take Dean to get some coffee from the cafeteria.  Might be a long night here,” Sam asked knowing Dean needed an out.

“No, that’s fine,” Cas answered matter of factly and then turned back to Jess, Gabe and baby Henry. 

Sam ushered Dean out keeping his arm around his shoulders as Dean spoke sadly, “No, he doesn’t mind at all. He could care less if I am even in the room!” and with that Dean lost it completely.  He turned his head to Sam’s shoulder just as Ellen grabbed them both and ushered them down the hall into her office.  Dean sobbed on Sam’s shoulder and Sam cried as he held Dean. Ellen cried as she hugged them both as Jo walked in.

Not one to mince words, Jo snapped at the three of them, “What the ever-loving fuck? Was anyone going to tell me how bad Cas was or did you enjoy me chewing on my own foot in there.”

“Jo!” Ellen retorted, “We’ve got bigger problems here that your bruised feelings! Go get us some coffee and give these boys a minute." 

Sam held Dean until he quieted and by then they were both on the sofa and Jo returned with coffee for everyone. 

“He loves you, Dean. You know that,” Ellen soothed. “But something must be bothering him something awful for him to treat you like this and shut you out so bad. You are gonna have to push him into telling you before this baby is born.”

How am I gonna do that, Mom,” Dean hiccupped, “He’s having the baby right now!”

“No he’s not, Dean,” Jo interrupted, “Mom only put him on the monitor to buy time. The contractions are Braxton hicks, not real labor. We figured that out when he told us they were less than a minute long.  But Mom said we were gonna keep you guys here a while when she saw Cas freak out in the lobby.”

Astonished at the words that Jo had just spewed out at him, Dean didn’t know whether to cheer or throw up.  He was glad for more time to find out what was going on with Cas, but nervous as hell that Cas would keep him shut out. He knew one thing; he loved Ellen Harvelle Singer and her sneaky ways more that he could ever tell her in words.

As if she could read his mind, and truthfully sometimes he thought she could, Ellen asked to speak to Dean alone. She told Jo to take Sam back and check on Cas, which Jo did while muttering under hear breath about Cas not really being in labor and how she always missed the good stuff by being sent out of the room. Dean couldn’t help but be amused. Jo might be a highly trained RN, but she would always be the baby of the family.

 


	7. The Levee Breaks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellen gets through to Dean and Dean gets through to his husband!

Ellen Harvelle Singer was not necessarily known for her tenderness or subtlety, but no one could ever say she didn’t love deeply and show that love in her own way.  She was loud and brash but in a kind and caring way.  Dean wasn’t shocked by what she had said to him and Cas about the baby talking some sense into the two of them.  He knew that this was why Ellen had asked to see Dean alone.  He was going to get the Mama Ellen special dose of reality, and truthfully he needed to hear it. 

“I’m not gonna spout flowers or shit rainbows here, Dean.  You know how I do things.  We sat here eight years ago when you became an alpha and you thought the only out for you was to walk away and be miserable and alone. Seemed for a while there that you and Cas figured it out and had it all together, like you had everything.  But in the span of a few months, I have watched your relationship go down the crapper, and I can’t do it anymore.  You asked me to stay out of it and told me you were giving Cas the space he needs to get through this pregnancy, but Dean you are sadly mistaken.  You have allowed the love of your life push you so far away that even YOU aren’t sure you can reach back to him.”

Dean knew she was right, but if was excruciating to hear and the tears began to fall again. Ellen sat next to Dean on the couch and rubbed his back, “Honey if you give that boy any more space, the two of you will be in different time zones and God knows what will happen to that pup of yours.  It’s time Dean. You have to get Cas back on track or it may never happen.”

“I know, Mom, I…I just don’t know where to start. I look at him and I’m so in love and hurt and lost at the same time…” Dean wrung his hands as he spoke. “Tell me what to say to him…I don’t know what to say.”

“Yes you do Dean, yes you do.  Look up there Dean,” Ellen pointed at a simple scenic poster as she spoke.  “Remember what helped you. Speak form your heart. Both of you started down the same path together and you’re still on it, but you’re on opposite sides now. You made your peace with the change, maybe Castiel Winchester says he has, but we both know now that’s not true.” You can fix this honey, you have to, because you need him and he sure as hell needs you. Give yourself a few minutes to get your shit together and then go talk to your husband. Those Braxton hicks are gonna stop on their own soon and Cas is gonna be madder than piano player in a marching band that we kept him here for no reason. ”

Dean couldn’t help but smile at Ellen’s last statement, but glanced at the familiar poster hanging behind her desk.  It was a simple picture of the Eiffel tower and it said in large black script:

 

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens;

but often we look so long at the closed door that we

do not see the one which has been opened for us.”

 

At the very bottom Ellen had written in black sharpie: “Don’t miss the beauty of the Eiffel Tower because you thought you were going to see the Coliseum.”

 

Dean suddenly felt so stupid.  It had been there in front of him the entire time. 

 

Ellen and Dean returned to Cas’ room to find Jess and Henry near the bed and Sam and Gabe in chairs by the window. Cas was still having the Braxton hicks pains as he was currently rubbing his belly and breathing through one.  Ellen read the strip spiraling out of the machine monitoring Cas’ contractions.  She let him finish and then ushered everyone out of the room announcing she needed to examine Cas. She showed him and Dean the strip and the shallow level of the registered contractions. 

“I don’t think you are in actual labor yet, Cas,” Ellen informed him. “I’m pretty sure you are having Braxton hicks pains, which are getting your cervix and uterus ready for real labor. See the shallow marks here on the output tape?  The pains aren’t strong enough to dilate your cervix, just thin it out and get it ready for the real contractions to do their work.  The real contractions will peak high like mountains when they start coming,” and she illustrated what she meant over one of the contractions on the tape.

Cas’ eyes nearly popped out of his head when Ellen drew a real contraction on the tape. “Are you sure?” he asked, ”Is it really gonna be that much worse when it happens for real?” Dean could see the panic in his eyes and approached him to try to ease his worry. 

“It will be fine Cas. it will build slowly, right Ellen?” Dean leaned in to kiss Cas on the top of the head, but Cas jerked away from him. To Cas’ surprise, Dean did not back away. He just leaned over further and kissed Cas anyway. 

“I’d like to take a quick look before I send you home, to confirm my decision, when you’re ready, Cas,” Ellen stated.  “I won’t need any instruments, just a manual exam, like in the office last week.”

“Do you really need to, Ellen?” Cas implored standing up out of the bed.  “I’d really rather not, and I think I must be in labor it was getting really painful and…” Cas cut off a choked sob.

Dean approached Cas, but Cas was ready this time. “Don’t, Dean!”

“Don’t what, Cas,” Dean countered, “Don’t comfort my husband who has been suffering all night? Don’t try to help you, just sit back and watch you hurt? I’ve been doing that for quite a few months now and we both know that it’s not helping either of us.”

Ellen politely bowed out of the room, realizing that Dean was going to follow her advice.

Cas became indignant at Dean’s words and stubbornly said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Dean and I’d like to go home now.”

“You are not going anywhere, but WE will go when your midwife has checked you out and says you can,” Dean retorted, just as stubbornly.  Their eyes were locked in a spiteful stare that neither would break when Cas had another contraction. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas, but Cas pushed against his chest and backed away toward the window.

“I told you not to do that Dean,” Cas spit at him.

“I know what you said Cas, but why? What have I done? I just want to help you…let me help you..I know I can help you if you just let me,” Dean implored, exasperated by now as it was approaching eleven at night.

“I told you I don’t WANT your HELP,” Cas barked angrily, “Why the fuck can’t you see that? Are you blind and deaf, Dean?”

You may not _want_ my help, but you certainly _need_ my help,” Dean said softly, correcting Cas and looking into his eyes searching for a way in. “Please Cas, let me in, let me help.”

Cas turned from Dean towards the window covering his face with his hands, “I can’t, Dean…I just can’t”

“Can’t or won’t, Cas?” Dean questioned, stepping closer.

“Can’t!  I said I can’t, alright? I can’t, I can’t, I can’t!” Cas screamed startling Dean.

“Why, Cas? What have I done? What have I not done?” Dean could feel his own anger building and he fought to settle himself down.

“It’s not you, it’s me,” Cas responded dejectedly.

“Oh! Well if that is the most reassuring thing you could say right now, Cas. Thanks! Great, my husband is about to have our baby, won’t talk to me, and fucking cringes when I touch him, BUT AT LEAST IT’S NOT ME THAT’S CAUSING THE PROBLEM!! IT’S HIM! WOW I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER NOW,” Dean bellowed, half expecting the door to be broken down by their entire family.

Cas flinched with every word Dean shouted but Dean was past the point of no return. He pushed one more time consciously controlling his tone, “Why is it you, Cas? I need an answer. I deserve an answer!  What is making you push me away?”

Dean saw Cas’ shoulders drop. He took deep breaths for several long minutes. He brought his hands up to cover his face again but then he turned around to Dean and whispered the two words that would allow them to begin to heal, “I’m afraid.” And then Cas placed himself into his husbands arms and began to weep.


	8. Baby Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long night, where Cas reveals his fear to Dean and reluctantly allows himself to be examined before the boys return home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From this point on, the pregnancy stuff will get graphic, but hopefully stay classy and fluffy, not angsty. I initially intended this to be simply a birth experience with flashbacks to the fluffy parts of the pregnancy, but it evolved as I planned and began writing. Hope you are enjoying...

“Cas, Cas, Cas,” Dean whispered into his husbands hair as he attempted to console him. He did not question Cas any further.  He simply held Cas and pulled him into his lap in one of the chairs by the window.  Cas was getting so big in the latent stage of his pregnancy, but Dean did his best to envelope him completely in his arms. The tears he shed were so sincere and heartfelt that Dean struggled not to cry along with him.

At some point Ellen must have come back in the room and she encouraged Dean to get Cas back on the bed, laying on his left side.  She motioned for Dean to join him and then she lowered the lights and covered the couple with a blanket.

After some time passed, Cas’ sobs settled down into snuffles and whimpers with Cas keeping his head buried in the crook of Dean’s very wet neck. Cas seemed to come back to himself and become aware of the mess on Dean neck and shirt. “I’m sorry, Dean. I didn’t mean to make such a mess, I got snot all over you,” Cas attempted to wipe at Dean’s neck. 

Dean grabbed Cas’ hand and kissed his palm, “Don’t worry, Cas. I don’t mind at all. Truthfully, I’ve missed you so much; I’ve even missed your snot.”

Cas laughed quietly at his husband, then nearly began to cry again as he realized the gravity of his comment. “I’m so sorry, Dean.  I’ve been such an ass to you. You must really resent me right now.”

“Cas, I will admit that you have been running very hot and cold lately, and I never seem to do the right thing for you, but I could never resent you…never babe,” Dean reassured him.  “Tell me Cas, when you said you were afraid, did you mean me? Am I doing something that is scaring you, honey?”

Cas thought hard before answering that question.  “It’s a really complex question, Dean. I can’t resolve it in one answer.  But, I can tell you something that you need to know. I have never been physically afraid of you or the way you treated me.  What I am afraid of is…” Cas worked hard to choke back more tears and finish his thought, “being an omega.” Cas seemed relieved to have named his fear, Dean was glad he had said it as well.

“I really want to tell you some things that have been bothering me, Dean but not right now.  And I can’t promise that I am not going to be difficult to be around, but I am so tired of hiding it from you. I don’t want to push you away anymore, but I am not sure I know how to fix this,” Cas confided. 

Dean took Cas’ face in both of his hands and kissed Cas chastely on the lips, one sweet tender kiss. “It’s going to be okay Cas. Baby steps, no pun intended. We’ll take it slow and steady, but slow and steady together, okay sweetheart?”

“Yeah, I’d like that Dean,” Cas conceded, ”One step at a time.”

Ellen must have noticed the quiet, because she poked her head in and asked, “Anyone ready to go home?”

“Yes,” Dean and Cas answered together. “Look,” Ellen teased, “at least you agree on one thing!”

They all had a chuckle at that before Ellen’s voice took a serious tone. “I was serious about wanting to take a quick exam before you go, Cas. I just want to make a note in your chart about the status of your cervix.”

Dean pushed back the blanket and stood up. Cas looked a little apprehensive about Ellen’s request, but he had been having the pains all day and he did have a few questions for Ellen as well. “Alright, Ellen but can Dean be in the room with me?”

“Of course he can, Cas. We are going to it right here on the bed.  Why don’t you sit up and get ready.” She hit the call button and asked Jo to join them.  Jo brought in a sheet and a few items on a tray. “Nothing on the bottom half, Cas. You can leave on your shirt and socks,” Ellen instructed.  “Just wrap the sheet around your waist, leaving the back open and have Dean let us know when you’re all set, alright?” Cas nodded.

When Ellen and Jo left the room, Cas tried to stand up off the bed. Dean grabbed his hand and steadied him.  Cas had been through so much today, Dean just wanted to take him home to their bed.  They just had to get through the exam and then they would do just that.  “Why don’t I hold the sheet and you take off your pants, Cas.”

Cas looked down and started to remove his maternity jeans, but when he got them below his belly, he looked back up at Dean as one tear slipped from his eye, down his cheek. Cas had been examined by Ellen before, but it had always been in an exam room and Jo had never been present. Cas couldn't help but be nervous and even a little embarrassed. Dean hugged him tightly against his chest, and kissed him on the top of his head. “How ‘bout I give you a hand, Cas.” Dean suggested. 

“That would be great, Dean,” Cas sighed.  So Dean slipped off Cas’ shoes, jeans and underwear, leaving on his socks and shirt and wrapped the sheet around his husband’s waist with the opening in the back.  He helped Cas sit back on the bed and held his hand, asking, “Ready, hon?” When Cas nodded, Dean hit the call button and told Ellen.

Ellen and Jo came back into the room and Jo pulled over the patient table containing the tray she had brought in before.  Cas made eye contact with each of them and attempted to apologize for  his behavior.  “Ellen, Jo, I just want to say I am sorry for my be…”

“Hold on there Cas,” Jo interrupted. “No apologies necessary here.” She put a hand on his shoulder and kissed him on the cheek. Cas smiled at her gratefully as she lowered the head of the bed. 

“Dean, you stand on the right side, up by Cas’ head and give him a hand to hold. IF he wants it, that is…” Jo instructed. “Mom and I will be on the left side while she complete the exam.  And Cas,” she paused and looked him straight in the eye, “Just so you know.  What happen in Vegas, stays in Vegas,” She made a gesture to their surroundings and Cas knew in that moment that Jo was drawing a line between their personal and professional relationships.

“Thank you, Jo and you too Ellen. I’m so grateful to you for everything,” Cas told them both.

“Okay, ready Cas?” Ellen inquired. “Ready,” Cas stated assuredly.

Jo gave Cas directions for the exam as Cas grabbed Dean’s hand tightly, “Lay back and bring your heels to your bottom. Now just let your knees fall open to the sides.  We will keep the sheet on to cover you up.”

Cas did as she asked and then Ellen took over. Jo opened a sterile glove for her and Ellen put it on carefully. She had Jo open a packet of lubricant and squeeze it on two of her gloved fingers. She looked at Cas and said, “Here we go, Cas, two fingers, probably cold, sorry, and a little pressure.” She began the exam and Cas hissed a little at the amount of pressure and looked to Dean, squeezing his hand harder.  Dean ran a hand through Cas’ hair trying to provide stable comfort.

Ellen adjusted her fingers and applied more pressure to Cas’ lower abdomen. “Sorry Cas, just need to check your cervix, honey…more pressure…there we are. Okay, not dilated yet, about twenty five percent effaced and minus three station.”

Neither Dean nor Cas really understood everything she said, so she explained that the contractions Cas had experienced all day had not been strong enough to dilate his cervix, but had probably helped begin the thinning of his cervix and that the baby was still high in position.”You still have three weeks, Cas, ”she reassured them both. “Lots of time to get ready. Do you have any more questions for me,” she asked as she helped Cas straighten and lower his knees.    

Cas was concerned about the leaking from his chest and the pain he felt in the shower. Ellen asked to take a look, and Cas agreed.  She concluded that Cas was producing colostrum, not milk as he thought, which was a sign that his body was getting ready for the baby to come.  She recommended Cas get a maternity bra or a nursing bra if he so desired, as the support would help the soreness.  Male omegas didn’t develop very large breasts, she told him but they needed support regardless. 

She recommended that Cas and Dean get some rest, but the hit the books hot and heavy.  Cas admitted that although he and Dean had been to all his appointments, he had taken his prenatal vitamins and eaten healthy, he had been neglectful in learning about the process of his pregnancy. He had pretty much let Dean handle that all on his own, but now he promised to catch up. It was too late for birthing classes, but she was sure that between Jess, Jo and Ellen, that they could get him prepared, if he wanted. 

Jo gave Dean a warm washcloth to help Cas clean up the lubricant used in the exam and Dean helped Cas get dressed to go home.  They were greeted by their worried family members in the lobby, though all were relieved when the two came out arms around each other. They said goodbye to Sam, Jess and Henry while Gabe went to get the impala and pull up by the door.  He drove them home and made sure they were okay before he left.

A very tired Dean and Cas changed into t shirts and boxers and climbed into bed tangled together for the first time in a long time. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How am I doing? The story kind of has a mind of it's own now. As always, feedback is welcome and appreciated.


	9. The Truth Will Set You Free...Maybe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean have a lovely morning together and then they don't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really am trying to get past the angst, but Cas has a lot of shit to get through. It's serious and needs to be dealt with. Poor Dean.

Warm..safe…happy… Those were three feelings Cas hadn’t woken up to in quite some time.  Dean’s arms around him and legs tangled with his didn’t make him uncomfortable or trapped.  He wished he could remain here, but unfortunately his bladder and the pup kicking it were not on board with the plan.  He tried to wiggle out of Dean’s hold without disturbing him, but his stomach did not allow him to do anything gracefully anymore. 

When Dean stirred awake Cas felt him physically recoil from him.  “Sorry, Cas, I didn’t mean to smother you…” he apologized and smiled sheepishly.

“Morning, Dean. And you weren’t smothering me, I just need to pee.  We’ll be right back,” he joked as he patted his belly. He didn’t know whether the relieved look on Dean’s face made him happy or incredibly sad. Clearly Dean wasn’t used to cuddling in the morning the way that had before the pregnancy.  It was amazing to Cas how much of his recent behavior he had chosen to block out of his own mind. It was truly overwhelming when he thought of how much he needed to fix.

“Baby steps, Cas, baby steps,” he whispered to himself as he pushed himself to his feet. 

He padded back to their bed to find Dean still under the covers and waiting for him. He snuggled Cas back under the covers and spooned behind him, whispering in his ear, “I love you Cas.”

“I love you too, Dean,” Cas softly answered, “I need you to know that how I have behaved has never been because I didn’t love you.”

“I never thought that.  I just didn’t know _what_ to think.  One minute you would want me to rub your back or your feet and the next you would flinch away,” Dean replied nervously.

“I’m going to try not to do that anymore, Dean. I mean that,” Cas promised. “I don’t want you to feel like you can’t be affectionate to me.”

Probly gonna be a little gun shy for a while, if we’re being honest with each other, Cas,” Dean asserted. “You may need to take the wheel on that for the time being.”

Dean thought Cas looked a little offended, but then he turned his face to kiss Dean and say, “I guess I can understand that.”

Kissing Cas gingerly on the lips, Dean suggested, “I thought we could have breakfast at The Beanery, since it’s Saturday, if you were feeling up to it.”

Cas mulled over Dean’s offer before coming back with his answer. “You know, I’d really like to spend the day at home with you, if that’s alright. I’d like to be able to talk about some things and catch up with you in the baby world, you know?”

“Sure, babe! That would be great,” Dean answered, pleasantly surprised. “Let’s jump in the shower and then I will make you some French toast.”

“Can you stuff it with cream cheese and marmalade?” Cas rumbled at Dean.

“You keep talking to me with that voice and I’ll stuff it with anything you want…” Dean wiggled his eyebrows at Cas.

“That’s disgusting, Dean. Now haul me off this bed and take a shower with me.” Cas ordered with a hint of a grin.

Dean enjoyed holding Cas, soaping him up and washing his hair.  Cas jumped when the spray hit his chest, so Dean spun him around to rinse him off. 

Cas washed Dean’s hair scrubbing and scratching his scalp, the way Dean liked it.  Cas tried to convey his desire to make up for all the lost time with every touch.  He thought he wasn’t doing half bad when Dean leaned into the feel of Cas’ hands. 

When they were dressing in the bedroom, Cas asked Dean if he would carry all the baby books downstairs and watched Dean’s face light up in response.

Before Cas knew it, he was as stuffed as the French toast and surrounded by books in which  Dean had lovingly placed page marks and made note in margins of the text.  He was a little overwhelmed, actually a lot overwhelmed, but he and Dean had made a list of things that Cas wanted to learn more about. 

He felt himself begin to doze against  Dean’s shoulder, and he found he didn’t mind one bit.  When he woke up, all the books were piled neatly on the coffee table and Dean was at the end of the couch with Cas’ feet in his lap. 

“Hello, Sunshine,” Dean smiled at him tenderly. “nice nap?”

“Yes, thank you honey,” Cas blushed, “I didn’t mean to though. What time is it?”

“It’s 1:30, want some lunch?”

“You know, I’m not really hungry yet, but I would love some peppermint tea,” Cas answered sitting up on the couch.

“Babe…You got some…” Dean awkwardly pointed at his shirt.

Sure enough, Cas had two good sized wet spots on his grey t-shirt.  Dean watched Cas’ happy demeanor plummet as he registered what had happened.  He pulled his over shirt around him as he attempted to  get himself off the couch. Unfortunately he became tangled in the blanket and suddenly looked very frustrated and troubled. 

Dean uncovered his feet and offered Cas a hand up off the couch but he just kept his shirt closed with one hand and used the other one to shove himself up off the couch.  He moped off towards the stairs but dean caught up with him and slipped an arm around his waist, stopping him.

“Cas,” Dean softly sighed, “What’s the matter?  Please don’t shut me out this time.”

Cas stopped walking when Dean embraced him from behind.  “This is what I’m talking about Dean. This is what scares me.”

“What, Cas? A couple of wet spots on your shirt?” Dean asked genuinely as he turned Cas towards him. 

“It’s hard to explain, but being an omega is hard sometimes.  I never feel like an omega unless I’m in heat. I mean during sex, I get it, I’m clearly an omega,” Cas tried to explain.  “I’m sorry, this is just so fucking hard to make you understand.”

Dean held Cas and waited for him to go on. “I don’t…I’ve never thought of myself as your omega.  You were always the emotional one Dean, you know what I mean? In my mind, I am an alpha,” Cas stated and looked up at Dean searching for acceptance. 

“I can totally get that concept, Cas…totally,” Dean snorted. “You may find that hard to believe, but I know exactly what you mean, but in the opposite way.  I have always felt like an omega, not an alpha.  We’ve talked about his before during our heats and ruts, Cas, haven’t we?”

"We have, but before I got pregnant, no one ever treated me differently.  It was like when we were together, people assumed our genders were the opposite and I admit I kinda liked that. It let me actually be your alpha…in my mind. When I got pregnant, people treated me different, almost lesser than they had before and I resent that…I’m sorry, but I hate it,” Cas spit out angrily.  “I don’t know how to deal with the emotions and physical feelings of my omega body when I’m pregnant, so I just buried it all. Or at least I tried to.”

“God, Cas it kills me that you are hurting," Dean empathized.  "I know people have treated you differently, but you never said anything and I thought it didn’t bother you.  I wish I could change that for you.”

"How are you always so nice about my shit Dean?’Cas demanded. “Why don’t you ever get pissed and just tell me to fuck off? I feel so guilty because you are so damn nice about everything.  You’re such an omega!”

Dean sucked in a sharp breath at the last words Cas shot at him.  He knew Cas was hurting and wasn’t trying to sound so mean, but wow, that cut deep. “You know what Cas, the worst part about that is you're absolutely right! I am an omega. In my heart I will always be your omega. I’m just stuck in my alpha body. I've just leaned to accept my status and appreciate that it lets me be with you. I’m okay with my emotions and feelings... even when you stomp on them,”  and with that Dean turned from Cas and went back through the kitchen.

Cas heard the back door slam. Jesus, he had really fucked up now. Dean was just trying to help Cas, to love and accept him and he had kicked his husband where he knew it would hurt the most.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love your feedback and can't wait for more.


	10. You Can't Help Anyone Who Won't Help Themselves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally the angst peaks and the fluff begins... and bumble bees, lots of bumble bees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are getting to the fluffy parts. There may still be some occasional moments of angst, but they will be short lived. You've earned some fluff and I'm building my courage to attempt some smut...we shall see.

Dean stormed out on to the back deck, slamming the door behind him. He barely made it to a chair before he lost it. He was so wounded by what Cas had said to him, but he was even more devastated that he was unable to help Cas feel better.  He bawled like he hadn’t in a long time, and he felt like he’d been doing a lot of crying lately. He was actually kind of emotionally drained from all his recent crying.  This was different, though. This was soulful, crippling, what the hell am I gonna do crying. This was fearful what if I can’t fix this wailing that he didn’t honestly recognize. 

Dean didn’t even notice the door open as Cas came out of the deck. He could hear Dean sobbing on the deck.  It wasn’t the volume that alarmed him, but the consuming grief he could hear in his husband’s voice.  The worst part was that he knew he had caused Dean’s sorrow all by himself. 

He approached Dean cautiously so he wouldn’t startle him.  Still Dean jumped at Cas’ touch.

“No, Cas,” Dean hiccupped. “I can’t…no more…that was not called for.”

“Dean. I came to apologize. You’re absolutely right and I was wrong and I’m sorry,” Cas offered, trying to express his regret.  “You have done nothing but love me and try to understand me and I just keep fucking it up.  You do not deserve this, not at all.”

Dean did not look at Cas, he couldn’t. He knew that he would just want to hold him and be held and he knew in his heart that they were way past that this time.  “You know Cas,” Dean said between choked sobs, “I just want you to feel better. I was just trying to help you, but you know what? I don’t think you can be helped. First you have to want to help yourself and you are not there yet.”

Cas heard a car pull up on the other side of the fence. Dean must have called someone while he was still inside. Sam and Jess with Henry in her arms came bursting through the gate and onto the deck.

Dean got up and went to Sam, who wrapped him in a huge bear hug.  Jess gave Dean a quick kiss and then went to Cas and wrapped her arm around his shoulders. 

“Sam, get me out of here, please,” Dean pleaded without looking at Cas. Sam shot a look at Jess over Dean’s head and she shook her head as she ushered Cas back in the house.  

“Let’s just stay here for a while Dean, you don’t really want to leave when you are both so upset, “Sam persuaded. “Now tell me what the hell happened, I could hardly understand you on the phone.”

Dean proceeded to tell his brother about the entire morning, how they had been doing so well and then about Cas calling him an omega.

“I can’t believe Cas would say that to you,” Sam shook his head incredulously. “He knows how much you wanted to be an omega.  He must really be in a worse place than any of us suspected.”

The brothers were sitting on one of the deck benches, Sam soothing Dean by stroking up and down his back. Even Sam treated Dean like he was an omega, because he knew what was in his brothers heart, not his body. “Let me go in and see how Cas and Jess are doing,” Sam said as got up and headed towards the door. “Stay here for a minute, maybe Jess will come out with Henry.”

Sam was gone for a few minutes when Jess came out without the baby.

 “Hey Dean, how ya doin’?” Jess asked quietly. Dean shrugged his shoulders afraid that if he opened his mouth, he would start crying again and he was tired of that. 

“Cas told me what he did and said, Dean and he feels just awful about it,” Jess offered. “Do you think you could come in so he could apologize?”

“He already did that,” Dean declared. “I know he’s sorry. I know he didn’t mean it, but it still hurts and I don’t think he wants me anymore.” He choked back a sob and Jess rubbed his back gently.  “I don’t know what to do anymore.”

Jess, ever the harmonious omega, took his hand and pulled him to his feet and toward the door that led to Cas.  Dean followed hesitantly, not sure what he would find. He was worried about his husband, so pregnant and so vulnerable.

Cas got up from his seat at the kitchen table as quickly as he could in his condition, eyes red rimmed but dry and crossed the room to his husband. “Dean, I can’t tell you enough how sorry I am and how cruel I know I was to you today.  Please, don’t leave. Please let me make it up to you. I promise I can make it up to you,” Cas begged Dean as he approached him.  Dean could tell Cas wanted to touch him but was afraid to try. 

Dean wasn’t sure if it would help or hurt, but he pulled Cas into his arms and held him close. “ Cas, Cas, Cas, what am I gonna do with you?” Dean tutted. He knew it was pointless to fight it; he would never be able to not give comfort to his Cas. 

Cas was shaking as he did his best to fight back the tears and asked, "Can we sit in the living room Dean, I have some explaining to do.”

“How about some tea first, Cas?” Dean suggested as he walked them toward the stove.  He proceeded to make Cas some peppermint tea and himself a cup of coffee from the Keurig.  He nodded towards the machine for Sam and Jess to help themselves, but they motioned that they were heading out onto the deck to give the two some privacy. 

Dean and Cas spent well over an hour talking to each other about what had happened and the feelings behind the words.  Dean made the decision to share with Cas what had helped him all those years ago when Ellen had talked some sense into him.  Ellen had reminded him of their talk last night at the birthing center. 

Dean got out his phone, and opened his photos.  He had snapped a picture of the poster in Ellen’s office.  He showed it to Cas and asked him a simple question, “Are you happy Cas?”

“What?” Cas answered, “Am I happy?”

“Yes, Cas. Really ask yourself. Are you happy? Not with me, not about the baby, not with work, just with yourself.  Are you happy?” Dean insisted.

Cas seemed to really consider his answer before looking directly into Dean’s eyes and answering, “You know what, Dean. I’m not sure.”

Dean held Cas’ face in his hands and said, “That’s the most honest thing you have said in a long time, babe and I love you for it.”

“What do I do about it Dean? How do figure out if I’m happy.”

“This may sound corny Cas, but it helped me when I presented.  Ellen showed me this poster and read it to me so I am going to read it to you now.  It says;

 

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens;

but often we look so long at the closed door that we

do not see the one which has been opened for us.”

 

Dean continued, “I think before we both presented we were happy.  Then when our dreams didn’t come true the way we planned, that first door closed for us.  It took me a while, but I finally found a way to appreciate the new door that opened for me, Cas.”

What if I can’t find mine, Dean? Can you help me find out if I’m happy, please?

No Cas, I Can’t. I don’t think you find happiness, I believe you have to choose it.  And I think you are so worried about the door that has closed on your idea of happiness, that you haven’t been able to choose it for yourself now.  You need to make your peace with your lost alpha gender and let it go.  When you turn away from that closed door, you might just see the choices in front of you.  I think that will even include your omega form and everything it entails.”

“But I feel more comfortable with roles people think are alpha and I know you prefer roles people usually refer to as omega,” Cas said looking confused.

“Who gives a shit what people think about what we do or how we act. I’m always gonna be more emotional than you and you sure as hell are never gonna be a good cook.  That doesn’t make me any less an alpha or any more an omega.  It makes me Dean Winchester, and I’m happy with that,“ Dean finished with a laugh.

Cas’ face lit up like he had just figured something out, “I never thought about it quite like that, Dean. I’ve been so worried about not becoming a traditional omega that I haven’t even let myself decide what I wanted. You have always been respectful of my feelings Dean, and let me answer for myself. I’m the one who hasn’t been truthful about my feelings.”  

‘Oh Dean, I haven’t even let us enjoy this baby, or let myself help with the nursery or anything that I thought was expected of an omega. I can’t believe I’ve wasted all of these opportunities, I’m so stupid,“ Cas concluded.

Dean squeezed Cas and reassured him, “You’re not stupid Cas, just a little confused…and you look exhausted. How do you feel?”

“As much as I put you through today and you wanna know how I feel! You’re definitely an omega in an alpha’s body, and I love you so much,” Cas scolded.

“You didn’t answer ,my question, babe,” Dean insisted resting their foreheads together.

“Is it possible to be exhausted and energized at the same time, ‘cause that’s how I feel,” Cas responded. “And you better get your ass out on the deck to let Sam and Jess know we are not killing each other or having the baby.”

“Bossy alpha,” Dean teased Cas.

“My sweet omega,” Cas ribbed back to his alpha husband. Secretly he meant every syllable because Dean was really sweet and truly was omega at heart and that was just fine with them.

 

Dean sent Sam and Jess home, thanking them for the impromptu intervention.  Dean felt really good about the day regardless of how poorly it had started.  He really felt like Cas had made some good realizations today. 

 He came back into the kitchen to find Cas with his shirt up and dabbing at his chest.  “This is getting really annoying, Dean. I think Ellen might be right about the bra thing.” Cas admitted. “Do you think we can go to the store today and check them out?”

“You feel up to that, babe? It’s been quite a day,” Dean posed the question to Cas. 

Cas got right up in Dean’s space wrapped his arms as far as he could reach around him and declared, “Actually I don’t think I have felt so good in quite some time. Also, I can’t take the leaky boob thing much longer.”

Dean laughed right out loud at what Cas said and then kissed Cas firmly on the lips. Cas responded, deepening the kiss, but Dean smiled and said, “You keep kissing me like that and more than your boobs will be leaking, babe. Now let’s get going.”

Dean grabbed the keys and they both headed out to the car.  Dean made a suggestion that they try a store called Motherhood in the next town over. He told Cas that he had gotten some shirts for him there in  the past and thought they would have more of a selection and would be less likely to run into anyone they knew.  “That would be great, Dean,” Cas smiled appreciatively. “If I need to wear a bra, I would rather no one in town knew what kind it was.”

They parked the impala and went into Motherhood store. They were immediately greeted by an eager sales woman who addressed Dean directly, “ How can we help you today?”

“First off, “ Dean began, ”You can ask him because clearly he is the pregnant one.”

“Oh, my…certainly, I’m so sorry,” she said as she turned toward Cas.

“My name is Emily, how can I help you today, Mr. …? She paused.

“Cas, you can call me Cas, and this is my husband Dean. He is a little protective of my feelings, thank you Dean,” Cas blushed. He turned back to the sales person and added, “I’m looking for a good maternity bra.”

“He’s having trouble with leaking already,” Dean said proudly.

“Dean!” Cas admonished, blushing even brighter, “Oh my Lord.”

“That’s alright,” Emily proffered, “He seems so proud of you.”

“I am,” Dean piped in, kissing Cas on the cheek.

Emily smiled and asked Cas, “Do you know what type you are looking for?”

“I don’t even know what kinds are available,” Cas admitted.

“Oh, this will be fun then, Cas.” Emily chirped, “Let’s get started back here. Will you be nursing the pup when it’s born?”

“I haven’t made my decision about that yet, does it make a difference?” Cas inquired.

“Well, yes it does.  I can show you our nursing options, and then it won’t matter either way.  Some omegas know they are not going to nurse and we can sell them strictly non nursing styles.”

She showed Cas a multitude of bras from frilly lacy style right through to the dowdy white type.  Cas preferred the type that resembled a sports style bra, with a wide band across the front and not separate cups. The looked more like tight, sleeveless undershirts than traditional bras.  Emily agreed stating that she thought it would fit better even once his milk came in, which caused Cas to blush all over again, much to Dean’s delight.

She measured around his chest where the band of the bra would fit and then slid the tape measure up higher and measured by holding the tape right across his nipples.  She brought him a few options in the style he chose and the size he needed. 

Ushering Cas into the dressing room, she told Dean she would be right back. She was running to get something called nursing pads.

Cas struggled to figure the bra out and by the time Emily returned, both Cas and Dean were thoroughly confused.  Emily told them that if they didn’t mind, she would be happy to help Cas get the bra on properly. So that is how Dean and Cas ended up in a crowded dressing room with a complete stranger. After trying several, Cas chose his favorite and even let Emily show him how to place the nursing pads, explaining that they were absorbent on the side touching his breasts and water proof on the side that faced the bra. Including the one he kept on, Emily suggested he get five bras.

Cas was delighted at the prospect of not burning through several shirt a day and Dean was delighted that Cas was delighted. 

Emily asked if Cas needed any nursing tops as long as he was getting the bras much to Dean’s surprise, Cas asked Emily to show him some.  In the end, they purchased the five bras and seven nursing shirts.  The shirts were made of soft cotton and resembled a men’s button down shirt with flaps for nursing that started at the shoulders and came to fasten just below the chest area, almost like large pockets. Cas told her that he would leave the tags on in case he decided not to nurse and didn’t need them. 

They were checking out when Cas happened to glance past the counter into the area where the nurseries were set up.  Cas’ eyes lit up and he asked Dean, “Do you mind if we take a look in there?”

“Sure, babe, if you want to,” Dean answered, trying to disguise his excitement.  Dean had painted the nursery yellow and grey with a white chair rail around the entire room.  He had ordered furniture here with a traditional rectangle black lacquered crib, dresser and changing table which were due to be delivered in another week. He had also ordered simple geometric bedding, when Cas had shown no interest in helping to decorate.

Cas walked into the nursery display room and directly over to a bumble bee themed nursery set up. “Oh, Dean…bees…I love the bees,” Cas whispered. Dean couldn’t help but notice the shine is Cas’ eyes as he walked around the little bumble bee room.  The crib was white and circular shaped and had yellow and grey round bedding. There was a little flower and bumble bee mobile attached to the crib. There was a white changing table and dresser with matching fabric details. A few happy little bumble bees flew on the walls leaving a little dotted line trail behind them.  The art work read; You’re as sweet as can be and I’m bringing home a baby bumble bee, won’t my mommy be so proud of me with yellow and grey backgrounds.

Without even flinching, Dean had Emily order the entire bumble bee nursery setup with a rush on the shipment and cancel the other order. And if he and Cas walked around the nursery with tears I their eyes, hand in hand touching everything, no one had to know but Emily. 

 

As they drove home with the bags of clothes in the back seat and Cas resting his head on Deans shoulder, Dean thought Cas just might want to help himself after all. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you love the bees as much as Cas???? And I have always loved round cribs.


	11. You Have Bewitched Me Body And Soul...Again.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys celebrate their anniversary. Cas makes an important life decision and a little smut (That hopefully doesn't embarrass me for life.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Pride and Prejudice and chicken salad croissants and chocolate fountains and Dean in a linen shirt, not sorry. I have included some photo art at the end of the chapter so you could get a feel for what the party looked like.

Dean let Cas sleep in the next morning.  He had worn himself out emotionally, beginning to come to grips with some of his personal issues, and physically with the extensive shopping trip.  They had also stopped for dinner at a little sushi place that had caught Cas’ eye on the way out of town.

 “Fish! You’re pregnant, Cas and you want me to let you eat raw fish?” Dean had practically squeaked at him.

“Dean, they make sushi without fish in it and they cook food there as well,” Cas sounded exasperated, but Dean could see the smile behind the words.

They had tempura fried veggies to start and Cas had eaten something called a sweet potato maki and a peanut avocado maki. Dean stuck with chicken teriyaki and despite his reservations about the food, it was the nicest meal they had shared in a long time.

When Cas woke, it was almost nine and though he felt like he had run a marathon, he woke up with a positive disposition.  He might actually say he was happy, really happy for a change.  He knew he would probably still have some rough spots, but he was headed in the right direction.  He showered and went to find Dean.

He found his husband in the back yard watering his flower beds.  Dean loved to garden and he had potted geraniums on the deck, a perennial garden with white Shasta daisies, buttery colored day lilies, blue hyacinths and salvia, pink fox glove and coreopsis and a periwinkle blue ground cover of sweet william phlox.  Dean also planted a few annuals, like gerbera daisies in a variety of colors just because he knew how much Cas loved them. 

“Morning Dean,” Cas called out to his husband, who came trotting over when he saw Cas on the deck.

He greeted Cas with a sloppy kiss while rubbing his belly and asked, “How are my two favorite people this morning?”

“We are fine and dandy, there Daddy,” Cas answered a little nervous about using the endearment.

Dean seemed to puff up like a peacock when Cas addressed him as Daddy but Cas could see him try to act nonchalant about it. “Good, good.  Hey we better head over to the Beanery today or Gabe is gonna send over the cavalry. “How ‘bout it?

“Sure, ready when you are. I’m actually pretty hungry,” Cas offered.

Dean couldn’t help but notice that Cas was wearing a pair of maternity jeans and a roomy t-shirt without one of his usual overshirts.  “I’ve got my wallet and keys if you want to go from here. You didn’t unlock the front door did you?”

“Nope, just let me lock the back door and I will meet you in the car.” Cas shouted over his shoulder while he turned back to do just that. 

Baby rumbled backwards out of the garage and Dean hopped out to open the passenger door for Cas. He offered him a hand and Cas dropped himself down onto the leather seats with a little wince. Dean closed the door and ran back around to hop behind the wheel.

To say that Gabe was glad to see them was an understatement.  When they entered the shop, Gabe nearly leapt the counter to greet them.  Cas gave Gabe a huge hug and a grateful look seeming to say _I’m sorry and thank you_ all at once. “Glad to see you guys. Cassie you look good, are you hungry? Let’s find you a table and get you off your feet.”

“I am hungry, Gabe and pleeeaaase do not call me Cassie,” he groaned at his older brother. 

“Your regular drinks okay?”Gabe asked and they both nodded, “Let me surprise you with breakfast, I’ve got some yummy stuff coming out of the ovens this morning.”

“Sure, Gabe, should I be worried, though?” Dean jabbed at his brother in law’s offer.

Dean was sure he heard a little hitch in Gabe’s voice when he answered, “Naw, I don’t think you need to be worried at all,” but he was looking at Cas when he spoke.

Gabe brought Cas a cup of peppermint tea and Dean a large black coffee. He returned a few minutes later carrying a tray with their breakfast.  “For you Cas, I have bacon, spinach and artichoke quiche. Annnnnd for Dean I have the meathead special of sausage, bacon and onion quiche, extra onions for you!” He then produced two more plates, one with an apple turnover and the other with a chocolate hazelnut turnover. 

“Looks great Gabe,” Cas commented as he dug into his quiche.  The food was delicious and Dean and Cas slowly ate and talked enjoying their morning together, sometimes holding hands across the table. 

“Dean,” Cas started, “Next weekend is our anniversary. I was wondering if you had made any plans or anything.” Cas sounded anxious as he inquired and did not make eye contact with is husband.

Dean squeezed Cas hand and Cas looked up at him.  Cas noticed a sort of sad look on Dean’s face, “Cas, I didn’t…you weren’t…I mean, I wasn’t sure-“

“Dean,” Cas smiled at him, “It’s okay. You are so sweet to try to be diplomatic. You can just say it. You didn’t make your usual surprise plans because I was being such an asshole!”

“No, no, no Cas. Don’t say that.  I just wasn’t sure if you would be having the baby this year or if you would feel up to anything complicated, “Dean assured him.

“You are a good man Dean Winchester, and I am so lucky you married me. I love you, but you don’t’ have to make excuses for my behavior,” Cas went on, “That being said, it is our last anniversary before we have our little bumble bee and I would like to celebrate…if you would.”

“Bumble bee, huh?” That’s so sweet Cas,” Dean said softly like he was picturing something in his mind. “I would love to celebrate! Do you want to go out to dinner or something?

“I was thinking we could have a big party in the back yard.  The flowers looked so nice today and we really haven’t had people over much lately,” Cas suggested hopefully.

“Yah, but Cas, you can’t be doing a lot of heavy work, and I don’t think I can do it alone…” Dean countered as Gabe walked up.

“Do what alone?” Gabe asked brushing the flour off his apron. 

“Our anniversary is next Sunday and I kinda want to have it as the house, but-“ Cas was quickly interrupted.

“You should have it at home in your condition, no offense Cas, but cooking your own dinner is not very romantic.  Why don’t you let me cater it for you?” Gabe offered.  “I”ll just close for regular business next Sunday and my crew and I will work your party for you. My present,” Gabe added determinedly.

Cas and Dean looked at each other and then Cas entreated, “What do you think, Dean? I’d like to work with Gabe to make all the plans. You surprise me every year and it’s the least I can do this year.”

“Okay,” Dean agreed, “On one condition…You don’t go back to work before the baby is born. Ash can handle the office and you won’t run yourself ragged. Those are my terms,” Dean insisted. The three men smiled at each other in a silent bargain.

Monday morning Dean went back to work and left Cas already busy planning their anniversary party.  He had made plans to meet with Gabe at the Beanery at lunchtime and he had a lot to do before then.  He was leaving the menu to Gabe, but he was in charge of coming up with everything else.  He knew exactly what he wanted to do and Gabe had all the connections he needed to get the plans done.  Before he knew it the doorbell was ringing and Gabe walked in the front door. “Hey ya Cassie your limo has arrived!”

“What the hell Gabe,” Cas shouted, “What are you doing here?”

“You don’t think I was going to let you drive even if Dean would, do you,” Gabe shot back sarcastically.

“I am pregnant, not handicapped, Gabe,” Cas rectified, “I’m perfectly capable of driving myself to the shop,” Cas busily gathered up all his ideas and slipped on some sandals so he didn’t have to suffer the embarrassment of Gabe tying his shoes.  He threw everything into his work briefcase and grabbed one of Dean’s flannels off the peg by the front door to wear over his t-shirt.  He didn’t feel the need to cover up anymore, but it smelled like Dean and he missed him already as silly as that sounded.

When they got to the Beanery, Gabe had a table reserved for them and brought out sweet corn chowder.  Next he brought chicken salad sandwiches on croissants, one of Cas’ favorites.  They ate first, talking back and forth and sharing thoughts, while food kept arriving at the table.  A plate of salads arrived next with an arugula, pear, blue cheese and walnut salad, a greek pasta salad, and a lobster and micro green salad with fresh peas, avocado, and strawberry rhubarb vinaigrette. Finally, a tasting of desserts came out beautifully presented on a tray.  They enjoyed, tiny chocolate croissants, mini apple crostadas, tiny crème brulee, fresh berry tarts with pastry cream and miniature tiramisu.

“Well Cas, what did you think of the party menu?” Gabe mischievously grinned. 

“I knew it!” Cas laughed, “I knew that wasn’t just for me today.  I loved it Gabe, just loved every bite. It will go perfectly with my plan for table settings and flowers.  I want to recreate the look of our wedding, minus the feel of the regency style venue of course,” Cas excitedly grabbed at the binder in his briefcase. 

“Whoa there baby brother! I don’t know how many Pride and Prejudice events the state of Kansas can handle,” Gabe teased. 

“Gabriel Milton! Dean’s and my wedding was beautiful and you know it, “ Cas chided. “The theme was tastefully done, it’s not like we wore costumes or anything!”

“Oh my God, if I heard Dean say “regency feel” once, I heard it a thousand times.  He was a true bridezilla planning your wedding.  It’s been six years and I’m still scarred!” Gabe complained. “I did,  however, predict this plan you sap and I have my catering florist and party rental people joining us in about 20 minutes. Are you up to it? You doing okay?”

Cas was truly stunned and touched at his brother’s bigheartedness, “Gabe…I don’t know what to say. I’m so moved and I still feel pretty good. I would like to go to the bathroom and take a little walk to stretch my legs.”

Gabe offered Cas a hand up and he waddled to the bathroom. He was really excited to meet with the people Gabe was bringing in.  It would really simplify his efforts and allow him to enjoy this week which could potentially be his last alone with Dean before the pup came.  As if he or she heard Cas’ thoughts, the pup began to move vigorously. “Hello little bumble bee!” Cas patted his belly affectionately at the movement of their baby. He looked in the mirror as he washed his hands and felt a building ache in his lower back, “Probably more Braxtons Hicks little bumble bee,” Cas cooed to himself, “Hang on a little longer if you don’t mind. I need a tiny bit more time with your Daddy.”

The door opened briskly, “Jesus, Cas! Did you fall in? I was getting worried and the florist is here,” Gabe fretted.

“I had to pee Gabe, if you don’t mind,” Cas shushed Gabe as he rubbed at his lower back and walked back toward the table.

“Hello, thank you for coming so quickly,” Cas offered his hand to the florist as Gabe introduced them.  He showed his ideas from the binder of pictures he had printed off the internet or copied from their wedding albums. Yes albums, Dean had purchased two professional albums and made three of his own full of candids and memorabilia.  Shortly after the florist left the party rental  representative came to meet with them as well. Cas chose place settings and linens and even a large tent to eat underneath and protect the tables.

Cas was excited about the plans, but at almost three o’clock he was really getting tired and his back was aching.  They finalized their food plans with a served luncheon but a dessert buffet to which they had added a chocolate fountain because Cas said the pup wanted it.  They would have champagne and sparkling raspberry lemonade for non drinkers.   Dean called his cell as Gabe was ushering him to the car to bring him home. 

Dean was checking in to see how Cas was feeling and was concerned about the backache. Gabe shouted in that he thought it was fine and Cas just needed a nap. “Hello, I’m right here,” Cas interjected, “I’m fine, Dean. I promise to call you if they get painful, well more painful.”

Gabe waited for Cas to get settled on his bed and covered him with a throw from the end of the bed. “See ya later, Cassie,” Gabe wisecracked at Cas as he left the room.

“Thanks for everything today, Gabe. I don’t know what I would have done-“

“’sallright, brother. I got skills, I saved your ass, I know it,” Gabe bragged, but then smiled at Cas and added, “I’m glad to help Cas. I’m really happy you’re feeling like yourself again. I mean it. Now get your ass some sleep”

Cas dozed off to thoughts of their beautiful back yard ready for the party.

 

The rest of the week seemed to fly by with Cas calling all their friends and family due to the short notice for the party. They also had another weekly check with Ellen at which Cas balked at being examined, but finally relented.  He was glad in the end because Ellen informed them that Cas was now 50 percent effaced even though he hadn’t dilated any.  Progress is progress Dean had told him. 

Sunday morning came with Sam picking up Dean so he wouldn’t spoil the surprises and Gabe and his crew arriving to prepare the food.  The party rental company and the florist arrived about eleven and Cas and Jess proceeded to supervise the set up of the party.

The yard was transformed and Jess left to go change and return with Dean at about 2:15.  Cas went up to shower and change his clothes. He didn’t have much left that was decent looking that still fit him, so he settled for a powder blue oxford shirt, a pair of khaki maternity pants and sandals. “It’ll have to do,” he whispered to himself in the mirror as he ran his hands through his hair. 

He took one more look around the yard and spoke with Gabe about the food as guests began to arrive. His brother Balthazar had come but Michael and Lucifer were unable to get away from work.  Ellen, Bobby and Jo showed up as well as Ash and Benny from the garage.  He ushered people out into the back yard as Gabe had his wait staff circle with champagne and the lemonade punch.  He felt an arm around his shoulders as Gabe handed him a glass of punch. “Ya done good kid, and you look really great Cas.  You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m kind of short on nice clothes at this size, do I really look alright?” Cas asked nervously.

‘You do little brother, you do. Dean is gonna flip when he sees you in that blue and forget about it when he steps out here. This is spectacular.”

“I’m gonna go inside and wait for Dean, Gabe, thanks for your help again. I couldn't have done it without you,” Cas hugged Gabe and kissed him on the cheek before turning to go. 

Dean came through the front door with Sam, Jess and Henry in tow just as Cas made it inside.  Dean was wearing tan dress pants and a white linen dress shirt open at the collar and sleeves rolled to the elbows. Cas went over to greet them and give Dean an anniversary kiss.  Sam and Jess, who had hired a photographer as their gift, went out to let everyone know that Cas would be bringing Dean out soon.

“Cas, you look so beautiful babe. I love you so much,” Dean said, fighting back tears.

“Don’t get me going Dean,” Cas warned. “You know we have a backyard full of guests. Now, handsome, let’s go greet them all and have some lunch, huh?”

‘Yeah, Cas,” Dean smoothed his hands over Cas protruding belly and kissed him firmly but sweetly on the lips, “Let’s go.”

 

Cas lead Dean out the back door an down the steps of the deck towards the tent where everyone was waiting and yelled, “HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!”

Dean was walking with Cas, shaking people hands and kissing cheeks when he caught sight of the way Cas had chosen to decorate for the party. It was clear that Cas had attempted to recreate their wedding day. Cas watched with anticipation to see what Dean thought as did everyone else. The tables were lined with place settings of layered pink, white and green china and some of the plates as well as the delicate wine and water glasses were trimmed with gold. Real silver bracketed the settings and there were crisp while lines on all the tables. Everywhere Dean looked, there were pink and while flowers that looked like someone had just gone through a field and picked what they loved. They were in large goblets and vases on every table and layered on towered cake plates. Dean half expected Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy to show up and congratulate them. It was breathtaking.

Dean turned to Cas, rendered speechless, and enveloped his expectant husband gingerly in his arms burying his face in the crook of his neck.  Cas felt more than heard Dean’s tears as he hugged Dean and stroked his hand gently up and down his back. Dean continued to embrace Cas and Cas held Dean firmly whispering sweet comforts to his husband. Slowly Dean got control of his emotions and Sam handed Cas a tissue for each of them.  They were passing a box around to the guest as well since anyone who saw Dean’s response had a hard time not joining him in his heartfelt reaction.

Dean took the tissue Cas offered him and after wiping his face, Dean kissed Cas like no one was watching. He wanted Cas to know how much he loved and appreciated him, on so many levels.  He was grateful for his efforts in organizing the party, but even more for working so hard to have this baby. Cas looked at Dean and it was clear that Cas had gotten Dean’s message.

The guests and the couple took their seats and the staff began to bring food, starting with the corn chowder. Someone brought Cas a glass of punch and Dean a glass of champagne and every time they tried to take a sip or a bite of food,  someone was clinking their glass as a signal for  the couple to kiss.  After the soup, each person received a plate with a chicken salad croissant and a small serving each of the salads. Dean loved every dish Gabe had made and Cas couldn’t help but forget about everyone but he and Dean. 

Cas stood and tapped his glass for everyone’s attention, they had both agreed that the new nursery was their anniversary gift to each other, but Cas needed to gift Dean a gift from his heart. “On behalf of my wonderful husband Dean and myself, I wanted to thank everyone for coming today.  I especially want to thank my brother Gabriel for the delicious food and all the help with the planning,” Cas spoke, voice quivering. Everyone broke out in applause for Gabe’s efforts. “And you haven’t even seen the dessert table yet,” Cas added, “Little bumble bee and I are looking forward to that let me tell you,” he offered patting his belly. The guest couldn’t help but ooh and awe at Cas’ tender reference to the baby and Dean’s hand joined Cas’ on his tummy. 

I know Dean and I are grateful to our families and friends who are here today to share in this celebration and we miss those who could not get away.”

“I really want to say Happy Anniversary to my husband, Dean,” Cas turned to address Dean directly. “I cannot believe that I had the fortune of becoming Mr. Castiel Winchester six years ago today.” He paused for the cheers of the guests but continued to gaze into Dean’s green eyes. “It won’t be long until our little bumblebee joins our family and I’m so grateful for your help through this experience.  I lost my way for a while.  I forgot how special what we have together _really_ is, but you never gave up on me.  To quote a very wise and loving person, what I do or feel does not make me any less of an omega or more of an alpha. It just makes me Cas Winchester and I’m okay with that.” Cas paused again and Dean kissed the hand he still held, wiping tears with the other. Cas smiled down at his husband and continued, “I love you Dean Winchester. You have bewitched me body and soul...again. You are a wonderful husband and you will be an amazing father. There isn’t a thing about you I would ever change.  You have supported me in good times and bad just like you promised, even when I couldn’t return that promise to you.  I want you to know that you helped me by showing me that first  I needed to help myself, that I had the responsibility to make my own choices to determine my own path regardless of my physical manifestation. I need you to know that I am happy, Dean. For the first time in many years, I’m turning away from all the doors that have closed. I know that there is nothing there for me anymore. It’s important for me to let you know that finally, from this moment on…” Cas paused to collect himself, “I’m choosing the open door.”

Dean stood and hugged Cas as the crowd clapped and murmured into Cas ear how much he loved him. The two remained entwined in each other’s arms even after the applause came to an end.

 Gabe broke the tension announcing the dessert table was ready and the guests began to make their way over as Cas and Dean kissed again and separated accepting congratulations and good wishes from those going by.

When they were ready, they joined the guest in eating all the mini desserts and the chocolate fountain with all the fresh fruit, Oreos and marshmallows. The party wound down about seven and the guests left while the family members stayed to help with clean up.  The rental supplies were packed up and carried away while Sam, Ellen, and Bobby helped Gabe clean up the kitchen and deal with the leftovers.  Balthazar and Jess, who was nursing a fussy Henry, sat with Cas to make sure he did not lift a finger. They watched the pup move and make shapes in Cas’ stomach.  They talked about the impending arrival and Cas answered Balthazar’s questions about not knowing the baby’s gender so it would be a surprise, or how they weren’t sharing the name until they met the pup.  He told them about the bee nursery, and asked Jess if she would help him and Dean get ready for the delivery by teaching them the breathing exercises she learned in her birthing classes. Of course Jess was excited to help and made plans for she and Sam to come over without Henry twice a week until Cas felt comfortable with the breathing or he delivered. 

About nine o’clock dean and Cas finally had the house to themselves and they went upstairs to go to bed.  Cas stopped them at the nursery and flipped on the light as they stood in the empty room.  Dean had one bin of clothes that they had bought, but Cas realized they had a lot of shopping to do to get ready.  Little did either of them know that Sam and Jess were in cahoots with Gabe and Ellen for a Jack and Jack shower for the couple.

 

Cas had gotten his second wind as he laid on the couch talking with Jess and Balthazar and he had one more gift for Dean, if he felt up to it after all the cleaning up with Gabe. 

“Dance with me , Dean,” Cas asked as he wrapped his arms around his husband.

“There is no music, Cas.”

“You used to tell me we made our own music, remember, Dean?”

“I do remember that, Mr. Winchester,” Dean answered as he snuggled Cas into his chest, “and I guess we should have at least one dance on our anniversary, if you’re up to it.”

Cas laid his head on dean’s shoulder and reached up under the back of Dean’s shirt, scratching his blunt nails up and down his husband’s back as they swayed to their own silent song.  When he tried to go beneath the waistband of Dean’s pants, Dean reached back and grabbed his hands. The dancing came to a stop as Dean looked into Cas’ eyes. “What are you doing, Cas?”

“I thought that was obvious,” Cas smiled as he answered. “It’s okay Dean, I asked Ellen about it.”

Dean looked at Cas in disbelief. “You asked my mom if it was okay if we have sex?”

“No. I asked my midwife if it would be okay if we had sex on our anniversary,” Cas corrected, and she told me we could have all the sex we wanted right up until I went into labor.”

“Cas, we haven’t made love for a long time, are you sure about this?” Dean searched for reassurance from Cas. 

“Unfortunately, Dean we weren’t making love because I wouldn’t, not because I couldn’t and I am sorry about that. If you don’t want to, I would completely understand.” Cas began to pull away from Dean’s embrace.

Well, Cas if I’m being truthful…” Dean hesitated, “I think we have a lot of catching up to do.” He pressed their lips together as he attempted to press their bodies together.  The both laughed as Cas’ belly prevented anything of the sort. “Come on Cas, let’s go to bed.”

 Dean and Cas began to kiss deep, heated kisses. It had been so long that Dean wanted to be careful not to rush through. He wanted to enjoy every taste of Cas he could get.   He began to unbutton Cas’ shirt and Cas followed suit to unbutton his. Cas pushed the shirt off Dean’s shoulders and down to the floor. Dean finally got Cas’ shirt unbuttoned to reveal Cas’ tummy and his nursing bra. Dean reached around behind Cas to unhook the bra, causing both of them to giggle. Dean had never unhooked a bra in his life, before tonight.  As he got it undone, he returned to kissing Cas and pulled the bra forward and off of Cas’ arms.  As hissed a little as the nursing pads brushed his nipples when they were removed with the bra.

“Okay Cas?” Dean asked kissing down his neck nipping behind Cas’ ear and drawing an obscene maon from his husband. 

“Fine…better than fine, just sensitive.” Cas answered running his fingers through Dean’s hair mentally cursing that he couldn’t quite get enough to tug hard. 

Dean took that as an invitation and he moved his hand from Cas’ back to his shoulder’s to run his fingers lightly down over Cas’ nipples, causing Cas to whimper. “Dean… please.”

“Please what babe,” he asked as moved back to Cas mouth and then began to kiss sweetly down Cas’ chest.

“On the bed,” Cas hummed against Dean’s lips, “please…”

“Let’s get rid of these first, hon,” Dean said as he slid Cas’ pants and boxers downover his belly and hips to the floor.

Cas caught on and went for Dean’s belt and then the button on his pants, moaning as Dean reached to grab Cas’ ass. “Baaabe,” Dean sighed at the welcome feel of the cheeks in his hands. It went to a lustful moan as Cas cupped Dean’s hardening erection.  “Oh Jesus, Cas!”

Dean carefully helped Cas onto the bed and shucked his pants, boxers and socks.  Cas lay on his back and Dean held Cas and began to kiss him again, heated, filthy, messy kisses and then he moved down Cas’ neck to his chest as he ran his hand lightly over his softening chest, brushing his nipples. Cas cried out and if he could have arched off the bed he probably would have. Instead he just writhed underneath Dean, begging for what, he didn’t know.

When Dean’s mouth made it to one of Cas’ nipples, he gave it a gentle sweet open mouthed kiss, laving at it with his tongue while Cas moaned and thrashed beneath his attentions. Dean moved so slowly to the other nipple that Cas was physically pushing his husbands head, urging  him to hurry. Dean could not believe the sounds Cas made as he gently licked and sucked at his nipples. He lifted his head and smiled at Cas made his way back up to kiss his beautiful pink lips again.

Cas could feel his arousal and the slick as his body readied to accept his husband. He reached to find Dean’s hardened cock stroking languidly up and down as he kissed his way down Dean’s chest to take a turn at his nipples. Cas’ sensitivity may have been a surprise tonight, but it was no secret that Dean loved what Cas could do to his nipples.  He licked and bit and sucked fiercely at Dean’s nipples while he slowly stroked his cock, rendering Dean still with pleasure. He was reduced to a whimpering, quivering mess with barely the ability to hold Cas head close to his chest to  encourage his continued attention to his there.

Cas gave one final kiss to each nipple before moving back to comb his hand through Dean’s hair and bring their lips together again. “Dean, please, I want you, need you, now.”

Dean could tell Cas was having difficulty moving around in the bed and although he knew Cas preferred making love face to face, unless he was in heat, he looked down at Cas’ huge belly and knew that wasn’t gonna happen tonight. 

“Babe, your tummy.” Dean panted.

Cas laughed, ‘Help me get on my side, Dean and then we’ll give it try with you behind me.”

Dean maneuvered Cas carefully, slid in behind his beautiful husband and groaned as the tip of his cock slipped through the slick coming out of Cas entrance.  Cas hummed and pushed back against Dean’s cock, “Oh god, Dean, please, I want you!”

“This okay Cas,” Dean wanted to be sure Cas was okay with him taking him from behind.

“Yes, babe, yes, pleeeaaase,” Cas called out to Dean. “It’s the best way according to the books.”

Dean froze and asked, “Have you been researching pregnancy sex, Cas?”

“Dean, if I had the strength, I would flip you on your back and ride you like bronco, but I can’t so you better get it together, mister.”

Dean giggled, “Sorry Cas, I’m just picturing you looking up the best positions with your serious little eyebrows bunched up in concentration.”

Cas grabbed Dean’s hips and then  ground his own hips back against Dean’s cock hard and Dean began to moan and thrust against Cas’ waiting hole. “Still think it’s funny now, honey?’ Cas asked, feigning innocence.

“Want you, Cas. Want you bad. Ready? Dean looked for permission before he would push into his husband, especially in his current state of pregnancy.

Cas nodded urging Dean on by pushing back against him again.  Dean carefully lined himself up and slid slowly into the slick heat of Cas’ body.  Cas began to rock back and forth quickly and roughly, seeking more friction.

“Careful Cas, careful,” Dean controlled the movement of Cas’ hips. “Sweetie, don’t hurt yourself.”

He continued to slowly move in and out of Cas until he couldn’t go any further. He carefully lifted Cas’ top knee, opening up Cas’ legs and groaning as he finally bottomed out against Cas’ ass. He gave Cas a minute to adjust and only began to move when Cas looked back over his shoulder at Dean and nodded.

Dean began to thrust hungrily into Cas’ wet, hot, body as Cas rocked back against him. Cas kept his leg up as Dean let go to reach up and brush his fingers over Cas’ nipples again and then down to wrap his hand around Cas’ hard cock.  He stroked Cas as he thrust feverishly into his husband.

“Close, Dean, already close,” Cas cried out, reaching back for Dean’s ass, “Please, more Dean.”

“Me too babe, me too. Sooo cloooose,” Dean whimpered as he stroked Cas faster and faster. Dean felt his knot building and asked Cas, “Can I knot you Cas, is it okay, babe?”

“Yes Dean, please God, yes, Cas groaned and Dean grabbed his hips and slid his knot into Cas as gently as he could.

Cas shrieked as he came in Dean’s fist, clenching around his husband’s knot. Dean followed shortly after Cas, crying out at the feeling of his cock empty into his husband’s body.

 Cas panted at the relief of feeling them lock together and smiled back at Dean only to catch his husband as he burst into tears against Cas’ back.

“Oh Dean!  Dean, come here, it’s okay honey, “ Cas soothed Dean as much as he could without being able to turn around.

“I missed you Cas, I missed you, babe, I love you so much.” Dean sobbed into Cas’ hair.

“I love you too, sweetheart, I’m so sorry Dean,” Cas consoled his husband.

Dean clung to Cas but his sobs reduced to hiccups. “Don't Cas, I'm not sad, I just needed you for so long and I love you so much. Are you okay Cas? Are you comfortable?”

“I’m wonderful Dean, Happy Anniversary, Love.”

“Happy Anniversary, Cas, “ Dean sighed as he pulled the blankets over them and they snuggled together for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear God i have written smut and I hope it was okay, no eye contact please.


	12. Nesting is Not Just for the Birds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean surprises Cas, Jess makes a sly suggestion and the nursery arrives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I admit it. I have a secret obsession with designing Cas and Dean's nursery. Guilty as charged, I would like to thank my talented daughter, Mtothedestiel on A03 and Summersteve on Tumblr, for her sketch of my obsession which I have included at the end of the chapter. It is so lovely.

“Hello? Anybody home?” Cas and Dean woke to the sound of Sam and Jess downstairs in their living room. 

“Oh Shit!” Dean swore as he threw the covers off of he and Cas. “Be down in a few, Sam, we overslept.”

“Take your time, Jess has some work to do,” Sam shouted back.

“Overslept for what, Dean?” Cas grumbled as he reached for the covers.

“Well, I know we said no presents, but I couldn’t help myself and IgotyousomethingandJessandSamareheretodeliverit” Dean blurted out.

“You got me a present?” Cas grinned from ear to ear as he leered his naked husband.

“Yes and we had the dessert buffet yesterday at the party, Mr. Hungry eyes, now let’s jump in the shower, quick.”

Cas made an attempt to get up but winced as he moved and Dean jumped to his side, "Something hurt?”

“I’m fine, Dean, just think we’re out of practice,” Cas answered back with a blush rising in his cheek.

“Well, we can fix that later,” Dean said softly as he kissed Cas tenderly and helped him from the bed. Cas took a moment to adjust to standing and then began to walk over to the bathroom.  “You've got quite a sexy waddle going there Winchester.”

Cas smacked Dean on the ass for the comment and snarked back, “You practically walk like John Wayne with those bow legs and yet you mock my waddle, the nerve.”

They showered quickly and threw on some clothes. Dean went down the stairs first and stopped as at the bottom. He made him cover his eyes and then led him into the living room.

Jess and Sam greeted them both, with Jess nearly squealing with excitement. “Good morning traitors!” Cas mocked at his brother an sister in law. Henry gurgled and Cas added, “I suppose you were in on this too, Henry Samuel Winchester!”

“Okay, Cas. Open your eyes,” Dean said fondly.

Cas removed his hands to reveal a beautiful wooden bassinet. It was clearly vintage in style, with a canopy of sheer fabric flowing over one half. It was oval in shape, made of curved wooden slats and the frame was also made of curved wooden pieces. It looked like a lovely piece of furniture and was bedecked with white linens.

“Is it cherry?” Cas inquired as he ran his hands over every inch of it stopping to finger the eyelet edging of the canopy.

“Yes it is. Do you like it, honey? If not we can-“

Dean’s words were cut off by the crashing of Cas’ mouth to his. “I fucking love it, Dean, almost as much as I love you.”

Jess couldn't hold her squeals in any longer, ”I knew it was perfect the minute Dean showed it to me. It’s so precious, and not tacky like those basket weave ones.”

“It has wheels so we can take it out on the porch or the deck and this canopy comes around and keeps the bugs off the baby,” Dean proudly demonstrated.

“Thank you, babe. But I didn’t get you anything,” admonished Dean lightly.

“Yes you did,” Dean quipped back hugging Cas from behind and rubbing his belly, “It just hasn't been delivered yet.”

“Oh, Jesus you saps.” Sam groaned “We brought donuts, too. Let’s eat ‘em before the two of you make our teeth rot out!”

They stopped admiring the basinet long enough to make coffee and tea, but ate their breakfast still talking about the sweet gift.

 

Dean called Benny at the garage to let him know he was not coming in. Sam and Jess stayed long enough for Jess to start talking with Cas and Dean in regards to natural childbirth. Dean wanted to be able to support Cas as he labored and delivered their baby.  Cas had really not let himself think about the process at all.  Now there was an air of panic with only two weeks left until his due date.  Jess offered Cas a book on Omega delivery and encouraged him to read over the sections on the stages of labor. She even began practicing the breathing exercises with Cas and Dean. 

Henry was ready for a nap, so Sam and Jess took him home.   As a final thought, Jess told Cas that she thought family and friends were wanting to buy gifts for the coming pup, but with things being sort of unsteady, no one had inquired about what they needed or wanted.  She made the suggestion that they pick a couple of places and register for things they needed.

“We can afford anything we need, Jess. I would feel funny asking for gifts,” Cas was thinking about his trust fund and their lucrative business, and how they never worried about things they needed.

“It’s not about the money Cas,” Jess smiled at him, “People want to help you celebrate and be part of welcoming the pup, that’s all.”

“I guess I can see that, Jess,” Cas said thoughtfully. “Where would you suggest we go?”

“Maybe the store where you bought the nursery bedding, and I love Target baby stuff,” she offered. “Then anyone can feel like they are helping you know matter what their budget,” Jess concluded, We have people ask us all the time what they should get you.”

“Geez, I never knew we were so popular,” Dean chirped in.

“You guys give a lot back to the community. How many cars have you repaired without charging families who didn’t have the money,” Sam added, “Just think about it. We are all so happy for you. We just want to show you that.”

Dean, of course, was chomping at the bit to go baby shopping.  He had gone in dribs and drabs, but when Cas showed a lack of interest, Dean felt funny going without him.  The few times he convinced Cas to go with him, it was like a chore.  He was really apprehensive to tell Cas he wanted to follow Sam and Jess’ advice to register.

Cas was reading aloud the books Jess had left, while Dean listened with his head in what was left of Cas’ lap.  Every once in a while Cas would grab one of Dean’s hands in disbelief at what was going to happen when he was in labor.  “It’ll be alright Cas.  It’s a process and it builds.  It doesn’t happen all at once,” Dean tried to reassure.

“Easy for you to say,” snorted Cas, regretting the words and the tone the second they left his mouth. “Oh Dean! That was insensitive …I’m sorry…I  didn’t mean it to sound so-“

“Hey, hey, now. I didn’t take that the way you think I did.  Cas, don’t hold back your feelings because you don’t want to hurt mine. I know you weren’t being mean,” Dean hushed.

“I just meant that…I don’ really know what I meant. I guess some day I look down at this gargantuan belly and think that I’m the only one who can truly get our little bumblebee out of there,” Cas looked at Dean with those huge blue eyes and continued, “It’s safe to say I’m scared shitless.”

“Oh Cas, babe,” he moved to pull Cas into his arms and nuzzle him, “I bet you are and I think I would be more worried if you weren’t,” Dean laughed. “I’m scared too, that I won’t be able to comfort you, and help you when you need me the most.”

“Christ,” Cas huffed. “Listen to the two of us. Dean if there are any two people who are perfect for each other it’s us. We know that, hell everyone knows that.  You are going to be exactly what I need when this pup comes and we are just letting fear of the unknown get to us.”

Dean kissed Cas reverently on the lips, “You are absofuckinlutely right.  You always are.”

“I’m hungry and I feel like sushi, how about you?” Cas asked.

“Sushi, Cas?” Dean couldn’t help but sound uncertain.

“Yah, and after do you think we could stop by Motherhood and maybe..say… Target? Suddenly I feel like shopping,” Cas could help but grin from ear to ear.

“Hot damn, baby needs a new pair of shoes,” Dean hollered,” Just let me get the keys and my notebook.

“You have a notebook?” Cas asked suspiciously.

“Research, Cas. Baby stuff requires research and I have done mine,” Dean returned with the retrieved items and carefully pressed Cas up against the wall with a filthy kiss.

“Mr. Winchester!,” Cas playfully rebuked his husband, “That’s enough of your scandalous lechery!”

“Clearly…” Dean snarked back with a gentle pat to his stomach.

 

Dean rushed Cas through their lunch with a promise of ice cream and they headed over to Motherhood.  Emily was working again and she was thrilled to see them.  She was going to call to let them know that their order had come two days early and could they deliver it the next day. She had them on the schedule for afternoon. 

“As a service to our customers, we prewash all bedding and fabric items and press the curtains so that when they are delivered you can just set everything up. Would you like us to do that for you?” Emily offered.

“What kind of detergent would you be using? “ Dean asked as Cas stared incredulously at his knowledgeable spouse. 

“We only use Dreft,” she politely responded.

“Great! That’s what we will be using, right Cas?” Dean nodded at his husband. “It would be awesome not to have to wash everything at home and then iron all the curtains before hanging them.”

“Sure, sounds perfect.” Cas replied trying to sound like he understood what they had just talked about.

Dean explained about the importance of washing before it touched the baby’s skin because most fabric is treated with chemical finishers to make them stay crisp in packaging or on the hangar.

“We will pre wash anything you purchase today and we deliver it all when it is done as well.” Emily added.

“We really came at the suggestion of our sister in law who thought we should resgister in case people wanted to buy gifts to welcome the baby, “ Cas told Emily, “Do you do that here?”

“We most certainly do,” Emily responded enthusiastically. “Let’s get you started. Do you need a recommended list of items to help you get started?”

“Nope,” Dean jumped in.”Got a whole plan of attack right here.”  He held his notebook out proudly.

Cas smiled tenderly at Dean who blushed just a bit but opened his notebook to get started.

Emily explained how they used a special laser gun to read the tags of items they wanted and they would compile on to their registry list for people to look at when they came to shop for them. 

Dean let Cas hold the gun while he read the list and they both looked for items.  They registered for everything they wanted with the knowledge that some of the items they would purchase themselves before they even left today. 

They started with some gender neutral big ticket items, all of which Dean has researched online. They picked out a mocha I’coo baby stroller which Dean explained had been made by a company owned by Jon Bon Jovi so it was cool enough for them. There was a Graco Snug Ride infant car seat, also mocha brown in color which had good safety ratings, per Dean.  He also encouraged Cas to try out all of the rocking chairs and they chose one of those as well.

They moved on to extra bedding for the crib set they had already purchased, including waterproof crib pads so you didn’t have to change the sheet if the baby just  spit up or wet through a diaper.  There were bumblebee receiving blankets, swaddles for bedtime, and burping cloths. They found a great diaper bag that was not so flashy and added that to the list

Cas was leaning towards nursing as it got closer to delivery so they picked out a Medela electric breast pump and a few bottles designed for nursing infants.

Cas and Dean chose a few outfits but Cas didn’t want to choose too many clothing items because he wanted to get most of those after the baby was born.  Emily said that he could pick out a set of items for a girl and one for a boy and they could call when the baby was born and the store would prewash their items and deliver them. That turned out to be an hour of fun, and those were not on the registry, because as wanted those to be from him and Dean. 

Dean suggested they get the onesies and basic items from Target. So they finished up and went to check out. They purchased the car seat, the pump, and the diaper bag because they knew they would need them right away, but Emily encouraged them to wait on the other items. They left their card on file for anything that wasn’t purchased by a week after the pup came and also for the boy or girl sets they had picked out.

Emily watched the adorable couple and couldn’t wait to let Jess know that she had won her bet with Sam. They had come to the store as part of their master plan for the shower they were throwing for the couple.  Dean and Cas had come down the very day she suggested it just like she told Sam they would.

It was the same idea at Target, but they also chose basic items like socks, hats, and onsies, which Dean explained were way better because they snapped in place and didn’t ride up. There were also first aid supplies to select and a bath tub and bath supplies like towels and wash cloths. They clicked away happily until they had finished every item on Dean’s list.

They made a few purchases such as diapers, wipes,baby wash and lotion and a few basic clothing items to get them started.  Dean found the Dreft laundry detergent they would need. Cas also grabbed more nursing pads and some post partum supplies that Dean’s research had suggested such as maternity pads for nitty gritty part of having a baby. A few items suggested for their bags for the hospital also got tossed in the cart and purchased.

They were exhausted and had filled baby’s trunk, but Cas had been promised ice cream, so ice cream time it was.  They sat on a swing under a tree at the Dairy Queen eating peanut buster parfaits and enjoying the breeze. Cas even enjoyed the many tender looks they received from other moms and dads eating ice cream with their children.  And if he felt just a little more maternal than he ever had before, no one needed to know.

 

“Dean,” Cas called up the stairs, ”The truck is here.” Dean had left work early to come home when the delivery from Motherhood arrived. He had gone up to take a quick shower.  Neither of them even pretended to contain their excitement at the thought of setting up the nursery. Cas had scrubbed every inch of the room and vacuumed twice this morning while Dean was at work.  They might be ready.

 

Each and every item was carefully unloaded and placed exactly where Dean and Cas decided they should go. The men delivering the furniture could not have been nicer and Dean got them water bottles and thanked them profusely. Cas slipped them both a generous tip. Both men seemed pleasantly surprised but if they thought roles were reversed in those two simple tasks, they didn’t say anything. 

Dean and Cas worked all afternoon getting everything set up and put away in their pup’s nursery. Every prewashed item came wrapped in tissue paper inside large white boxes with the store logo. It was like Christmas in June.

When they were about finished, Gabe called offering to bring pizza and a pie he had made at work. He said he would bring enough for whoever, so they called Sam and Jess and Bobby and Ellen to show off the new room.  While they were waiting for everyone, they filled Cas’ labor bag using the new diaper bag. They included all the items suggested in the natural delivery books and all the items needed to bring the baby home from the birthing center including a bumblebee sleeper, hat and matching receiving blanket. Cas remarked that he couldn’t believe how tiny the pup would be when it was born based on the size of the outfit. Dean just kissed him sweetly as his reply.

They had just finished packing Dean’s Daddy bag as the doorbell rang.

They had a great evening together, everyone trying to guess the names they had chosen. Cas told everyone that when he had come out of his fog and realized that he had not even discussed names, they remedied that quickly.  It was simple for them, and secret.  Cas was going to be the first one to say the baby’s name to him or her when they were born.  They had a couple chosen for both a boy and a girl, but Dean insisted the final decision should go to the one who did all the hard work. That and the way Dean looked so lovingly at Cas filled a few eyes with tears. 

Cas assured Ellen that Jess was getting them ready for natural labor by teaching the breathing exercises and stretches. They had practiced together in the car on the way to the store yesterday and again last night and this morning in bed. Dean was a dedicated coach and Cas was eager to do anything that would help him cope.  Ellen offered them an official tour of the birthing center as their last experience was not exactly pleasant. It would take place tomorrow after their regular weekly appointment.

It was official, they were ready.

                                                          


	13. The Best Laid Plans, Devious and Otherwise.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas gets a burst of energy, and Benny enlightens Dean about it's origin. The boys finalize their plan for the pup's birth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vacation is over, I'm back to teaching so I won't be able to do a chapter every day. Just so you know I am not a medical person as I talk about birthing stuff. I only have my own experience to go on, so basically I will make shit up as I see fit. No research accept to find pic of things that are in my head. I obsess about the weirdest details or so I am told. Oh well, it's my story.

 

Dean went to work the next morning at eight and was supposed to pick Cas up at nine forty five.  He was getting read to head back to the house when he got a text from Jo.

_Jo 9:36  Mom has a full house at the birthing center and some close to delivery. She knows Cas doesn’t want to see one of the other midwives so she wants to reschedule for Friday, same time._

_Dean 9:38 is that okay for Cas to wait_

_Jo 9:40 Mom says yes as long as he feels good, she will call later to check_

_Dean 9:41 K thx_

Dean called Cas to explain the situation, “Hey Cas, change of plans.”

“Hello Dean, what’s that?” Cas asked.

“Ellen has a few omegas ready for delivery this morning and Jo called to reschedule for Friday, same time.”

“Oh gee,” Cas pretended to be disappointed, “What a shame.”

“Oh shut up, faker faker ice cream maker,” Dean snorted back at Cas’ disingenuous response.

“Ooooooh, ice cream, yum! Why don’t you come home for lunch and bring me some.”

“We have plenty of ice cream in the freezer,” Dean reminded him.

“Had,” Cas corrected. “We _had_ plenty.”

“You mean to tell me you finished all the ice cream, already?” Dean asked incredulously.

“I am eating for two, Dean Winchester,” Cas snapped playfully. “And one of the two is your darling little pup!”

“What kind Dear?” Dean asked sarcastically.

“Chocolate and pistachio, please darling,” Cas snarked back. “I’ll have lunch ready since you are being sooooo generous.”

"As you wish," Dean acquiesced as he hung up the phone.

Cas opened the refrigerator to see what he could do with his limited culinary skills. There were leftovers from the pizza last night and could heat those up, but he had eaten so much last night that it wasn’t really appealing.  The strawberry rhubarb caught his eye and suddenly he remembered how much he loved to watch Dean eat pie. He poked around a little more and had a plan. 

 

“Hey babe, I’m home,” Dean called out to Cas.

“Up here Dean,” Cas answered back mischievously, looking around to be sure everything was just right. “Put the ice cream away and come see me for a minute?”

Dean popped the ice cream in the freezer and trotted across the living room and up the stairs a little concerned that Cas wasn’t downstairs ready for lunch. ”Everything okay hon?” as he rounded the corner to the master bedroom.

Dean stopped dead in his tracks as he hit the threshold of their room.  There across the room on their kingsized bed lay Cas in his robe, only his robe. Beside him on the bed was a tray with cut up cheeses and crackers. There was a plate of strawberries and melon, two wine glasses, one clearly containing ginger ale, the other wine and one large piece of strawberry rhubarb pie.

“Holy shit, Cas!” Dean said dumbfounded.  Cas patted the bed next to him.”Take off your shoes and come sit down.”

‘Just my shoes?” Dean gulped as he tore at his boot laces. He shucked them quickly and carefully joined his husband on the bed. He looked hungrily at Cas, cupped his face in his hands and kissed him enthusiastically.

Cas blushed as he deepened the kiss, opening his mouth to let Dean in. They melted into each other as they licked, nipped at each other’s mouths. Dean could smell Cas’ arousal and he knew Cas could smell his as well. They pulled apart reluctantly and Cas asked wickedly, “How’s lunch so far?”

Dean smiled at his husband and ran his hand down his arm and across his belly to rest on his thigh, “Pretty yummy Cas, pretty yummy.”

Cas handed Dean his wine and they nibbled on the fruit and cheese and each other.  They took turns feeding each other laughing and enjoying being together. Holding hands and touching each other, they mended hurts and strengthened bonds. It was relaxing and… well perfect.

“Ready for pie?” Cas asked giving Dean a downright filthy kiss. He started with the fork but soon Dean was moaning around finger after finger of crust and sticking filling. 

“Caaaaas,” Dean sighed as he licked each of Cas’ sweet fingers.

“Move the lunch Dean, I think I’m ready for the real dessert,” Cas panted as he directed Dean to get the tray and glassed off the bed. They giggled at Cas’ attempts to move gracefully into a better position on the bed, “Dean, you have far too many clothes on your body and I’m a beached whale!  Help your fat husband look sexy will you.”

Dean lifted Cas honeymoon style and layed him up against the pillows at the head of the bed.”Don’t call yourself fat Cas, you are so beautiful, and healthy, and so fucking hot. Then he quickly divested himself of his jeans and shirt crawling on the bed towards Cas like a predator after his quarry. 

Cas offered Dean the end of his robe belt which he slowly pulled until it was untied, “Ooooh, just like a Christmas present, I get to unwrap you.”

As he untied Cas’ robe, Dean slipped his hands inside, pushing it off his shoulders. He cupped Cas’ face kissing along his chin, scraping his teeth against his husband’s stubble.  Cas whimpered as Dean moved down his neck and slid his fingers into Dean’s hair, cupping the back of his head. Dean could sense Cas anticipate the outcome if Dean continued on this path.  He began to arch into the feel of Dean’s lips, forcing his chest out in an unspoken plea for his attention.  He obliged his husband’s silent urging and softly kissed his way down Cas’ chest to the objects of his little game.  As he closed his mouth around the first nipple, Cas cried out in pleasure. Dean gently kissed, licked and sucked the tender nub as Cas’ breathing became loud and ragged.  “Jesus, fuck Dean, please…more please!” Dean smiled as he complied to his mate’s request and kissed over to the other side of Cas’ softening and full feeling chest.

As Cas moaned and thrashed under his hot mouth, Dean hardened almost painfully inside his boxers. He rolled his hips against Cas’ thigh to alleviate the pressure.  Cas came back from the fog of bliss Dean had caused with his reverent lips and tongue  to palm Dean’s ass with one of his hands.

Dean groaned at the  contact pulling back his hip, granting Cas access to his hardened cock.  Cas understood Dean’s silent request and reached into his boxers to pull Dean out and slowly stroke him, while roughly smashing their lips together.  He swallowed moan after moan from Dean’s lips, then  he rolled over on his knees and attempted to straddle his husband’s hips.  They broke the tension with laughter as Cas straddling anything at this point was a comedy of errors.

“Dean , get behind me, please? I really need you to fuck me,” he whispered in ragged breaths. As Dean climbed behind him, he sought Cas’ reassurance, ”You sure, Cas?

“Please Dean, don’t make me wait!”  Cas pleaded placing one of Dean’s hand back on his chest and the other on his hard cock. “Oh babe, I won’t…I won’t.  You need this?”  Dean asked nudging the head of his cock at the edge of Cas’ wet , hot opening while he lightly touched his nipples and stroked his omega’s cock.

Cas cried out a jumble of unintelligible words, urging his hips backwards, hands gripping the sheets for better leverage.

“Alright love, alright..” Dean soothed Cas as he pushed himself into his husband’s body.”Soooo tight Cas, so hot and tight…”

Cas grunted as Dean’s cock filled him completely.  He fisted the sheets for leverage as he met every one of his husband’s thrusts by rocking his hips back against him.

They rocked and lunged together until their movements became erratic and Dean shifted to nail Cas’ sweet spot with each thrust, “Yes, Yes, there Dean there, more, more, harder...YES!”  Cas shuddered as he came in his husband's fist. Dean tumbled over the edge, quickly after his husband ‘s orgasm stilling as he felt his knot pulse into Cas.

Sweaty and exhausted, but incredibly content, Dean carefully helped Cas onto his side and curled up behind him moaning as the movement caused more pulses from his spend cock.  He wiped the sweaty hair off Cas’ forehead and rubbed his hand up and down Ca’s side as he encouraged his husband to relax and rest. “Jesus Christ, Cas! That was so…”

“Hot?”, interrupted Cas, “Fun, sexy, and sadly tiring?” he laughed at the last description. 

“Yes,” Dean panted. “All of the above. Everyone okay?” he placed sweet kisses down Cas’ neck and shoulder as he asked.

“OUTstanding,” Cas teasingly shouted, but seriously meaning what he said. “Now sleep,” he said as he began to doze off.

“Cas, sweetheart? I’m gonna have to go back to work when I can. Will you be okay?” Dean asked tenderly.

“Yes, thank you Dean. I hope you enjoyed lunch.” Cas smirked at Dean.

“Oh I did babe, I certainly did. I just hope Benny doesn’t ask me what I had or why it took so long.”

Cas didn’t even have the energy to blush.

 

When Dean returned to work two and a half hours after he left, he ran right into Benny in the break room.  “Everything okay at home there, Boss?” he asked giving Dean a pointed look.

“Yep, Yep, everything’s great. Cas is doing fine,” Dean answered grabbing a coke from the fridge, avoiding eye contact with his friend.

“Good, good,” said Benny. “It get’s interesting, when the sexy fairy pays a visit.”

Dean spluttered and choked on a mouthful of coke as he felt his face redden.

“Yeah, each time Andrea got close to havin’ one of our pups, that ole’ sexy fairy would wave her wand and suddenly…well I think you know…huh Dean?”

“I got work to do you ass,” Dean said trying to sound pissed, but he couldn’t hide his amusement as he spoke to Benny.

Benny clapped Dean on the back and never said anything else about it. Dean spent the afternoon avoiding any more conversations, appreciative that Benny had been in his place and kept it between them.

 

Dean decided quickly that the Sexy Fairy had indeed paid Cas a visit.  Cas couldn’t pass by Dean without brushing his hand somewhere across his body or kissing him lewdly.  Dean snickered at Cas’ rediscovered freedom.  Cas and Dean had always had a healthy sex life, but Cas had withdrawn somewhat during the pregnancy.  It was sporadic at best with the morning sickness as Dean expected, but it just never returned to their previous level of shenanigans. Dean was understanding because he knew Cas was struggling, but now he was getting his Cas back and then some. 

At breakfast, Dean found himself up against walls or doors being offered impromptu blow jobs or being asked for them instead, either way was fine with him. Cas “making lunch” now happened every day, They spent the evenings making out in their hammock in the back yard, ending up tangled together in bed at the end of every night.

Dean didn’t think Cas had any issue with the increased sexy times, until they went to their appointment with Ellen.  Cas seemed nervous or more so than usual. The vital checks went fine but Cas became extremely shaky and upset when it was time for the internal check.  He sat on the exam table clutching the sheet behind him, eyes shifting between his lap and Dean with a look of trepidation. 

Ellen broke the ice, gently putting her hand on Cas’ shoulder, which caused him to jump. “Well, you . better just come out and say what’s wrong, Cas. Clearly something is bothering you. You’re making me jumpy, hon,”  She tried to lighten up the mood with a laugh.

“It’s just that I wanted to ask about something…” Cas hesitated scraping at a spot on the sheet with his thumbnail.  Dean was becoming concerned because this was the first he was hearing of Cas’ question, other than aches and pains, etc.

“Well Cas, you can ask me anything you want.  I’m here to help you. You know that, don’t you?” Ellen offered. 

“I do, but sometimes it’s hard to ask questions because you are also my mom,” Cas smiles sheepishly, but continued.  “Lately, it’s just that…I mean…I’ve…uh…” Cas slowly began to redden and Dean took the hand that wasn’t clutching the sheet behind him.  “I’ve been wanting to spend more time with Dean lately and I have been inviting him home for lunch all week, ya know and I want to know if that’s okay, I guess.”

“Yes, Cas I think that’s very nice. You’ve been experiencing a lot of emotions through this pregnancy, but I notice that you seem to be returning to yourself lately. Wanting to spend more time with Dean may also be part of your body telling you to be ready to have the baby soon. Maybe that’s why you have been asking Dean to come home for lunch.”

Dean realized what Cas was trying to talk about and he felt for Cas because this was the woman who had been like a mother to both of them. “Ahem,” Dean cleared his throat before beginning barely hiding an embarrassed smile. “I think, Mom, what Cas is trying to tell you is that when he asks me home for lunch, HE is on the menu.”

“Oh…” Ellen said, then the wheels began to turn, “OH…” and then she laughed a hearty belly laugh as Cas and Dean blushed profusely. “Thank you for the clarification, Dean. Is that why you are nervous to be examined Cas?”

Ellen wrapped Cas in a very maternal hug and then sat back down on her stool. “That must have been hard for you to ask but I’m glad you did, Cas. It is perfectly alright for you to engage in sexual intercourse until the end of your pregnancy and very common to experience an increase in desire to be with your spouse, “ Ellen addressed the issue very professionally trying to relieve Cas and Dean’s obvious discomfort.

“So when Benny said the sexy fairy comes he was right?” Dean asked earnestly.

“Oh my God Dean! You told Benny?” Cas asked incredulously.

“Jesus, NO!” Dean retorted, squeezing Cas’ hand, “He kinds guessed, Cas. I have been a little late from lunch lately.”

“Listen you knuckleheads, some omegas experience a hormonal increase at the end of the pregnancy that gives them extra energy and increases their desires for sex. The alpha's semen can actually help bring on a healthy labor. It’s perfectly normal and nothing to be embarrassed about, alright?”

“Yes Ma’am,” both men responded, blushing even further at the mention of Dean's semen..

Ellen completed the exam finding Cas was still only fifty percent effaced, but one centimeter dilated. Thrilled with the news, Dean helped Cas clean up and get dressed.  They met Ellen in her office because she was taking them on a tour and discussing option for Cas’ birth plan. 

 

Ellen spent some time discussing Cas’ desires for his labor and delivery.  The birthing center she ran took great care in letting omegas have control of their births, unlike the average hospital where they were often drugged through labor and treated like cattle.  After a lengthy discussion and a tour of all of the birthing rooms, Cas and Dean were given sample birth plans and access to a computer to write their own.

 

Birth Plan for Castiel Winchester

I am a male omega and would like to attempt a natural delivery.  I wish to have one of the tub rooms if it is available when I check in.

 

**Environment:**

I would like the following people present during labor and delivery:

  *         husband, Dean Winchester, both
  *         brother, Gabriel Milton, both
  *         bother in law, Sam Winchester, labor only
  *         sister in law, Jess Winchester, both
  *         Bobby Singer, labor only



I would like dimmed lighting, and I will bring my own music.

I wish to wear clothes from home as I labor.

**Prep:**

I do not wish to have a routine enema, shave or IV, but will consider them if medically necessary.

**First stage of labor:**

I do not want to be separated from Dean at any time.

I do not want my labor to be induced or augmented unless medically necessary.

I prefer to drink and eat light meals as opposed to having an IV for hydration and energy.

I want to be able to move around and change positions as I wish.

I wish to labor while walking, in a tub, on a birthing ball or in a bed.

I want minimal monitoring unless medically necessary including internal exams.

I would prefer that only Dean touch me or coach to me unless I initiate or it is medically necessary.

I will use breathing exercises and the tub to cope with pain.

**Second Stage of Labor:**

I want to avoid an episiotomy if at all possible, though I will accept one rather than tear.

I think I want to deliver in bed, not the tub I labor in, but want to be asked when it is time.

I think I will want to deliver in a classic semi sitting position, with family supporting my legs, not stirrups.

I do not want students or extra people in the room when I deliver.

I want to catch my baby and place him or her on my stomach, skin to skin.

If possible at the time of delivery, I want only Dean and I to speak so the baby hears our voices first.

I do not want a cesarean section delivery unless absolutely necessary, but if I must have one, I want to be awake and have Dean present.  

**Post Birth:**

I want to hold my baby immediately.

I want the cord cut only after the cord stops pulsing.

I want Dean to cut the cord.

I want the baby to have eye drops and a vitamin K shot but not until after the bonding time.

I think I am going to breastfeed, but won’t know  for sure until the baby is born.

I don’t want the baby to be taken away for any procedures that can be done in the room.

If it is a boy, do not circumcise.

If the baby must leave the room, I want Dean to go with him/her.

Dean and I wish to perform all care on our baby including feeding, bathing and diapering.

Dean and Cas read through the plan and made a few changes before letting Ellen know that they were done. “This looks great, Cas. You two have given this some thought and that is important.  I will give you a copy and make sure a copy is in your records for when you arrive in labor,” Ellen printed another copy, had Cas and Dean sign it and then signed it herself.

Cas sighed heavily and leaned into Dean, resting his head on Dean’s shoulder.  Dean put his arm around Cas, kissed the top of his head and turned to nestle his cheek against Cas’ head. “Lot to think about, huh Cas?”

“A little to real for my liking,” Cas answered quietly. “Thank you for taking so much time with us, Mom,” Cas crossed the room to give Ellen a big hug and kiss on the cheek.

“Anything for my boys, you know that. And Cas, don’t think too much more about it. We’ll be here to help you and Dean bring that little pup into the world without too much fuss. You’ll be fine, nothin’ you can’t handle…I’m sure of it. Go home look at all the baby clothes, think about what the baby might look like and leave the worry to me.”

“Let’s go babe,” Dean said taking his husband’s hand gently placing a kiss in order to reassure him, “Let’s stop by the Beanery and get a treat for all this hard work today.”

Cas got a devious look on his face and leaned up to whisper in Dean’s ear, “I think I’d rather go home for lunch.”

If Dean turned three shades of red, no one but Cas had to know why.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The picture is of the closest thing I could find to what I see in my head. In my head, the tub is rectangular not square, but close enough.
> 
> I am encouraged by comments and need a boost if you are so inclined to offer your thoughts. Thank you for reading, I hope I am creating something you enjoy.


	14. If April Showers Bring May Flowers, What Do June Showers Bring?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jess and Gabe surprise the boys and Cas is overwhelmed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was wicked tired finishing this so may edit for more errors tomorrow.

 

Dean dropped Cas off at home and headed back to the garage to finish his work day.  Cas spent his afternoon reading more about male omega births until he had frightened himself enough for one sitting.  He wandered around the house straightening things, a compulsion that had developed this past week, and headed up to lay down for a while.  He didn’t really feel the need to sleep but getting off his feet twice a day seemed to minimize swelling and a backache.  He also used the time to practice his breathing and focusing for labor. 

He never imagined at any point in his life that he would be attempting self hypnosis by focusing on a happy memory, but he was becoming more comfortable with making choices based on his desires, and not his gender. Through this process, he allowed himself to think about his feelings towards the pregnancy and he knew he wanted to attempt a natural delivery and dealing with the pain required some sort of serious coping mechanism.  He and Dean practiced breathing and focusing every night, but Cas usually worked on it independently as well.  He had chosen a photo of Dean in Paris that he had taken on their honeymoon as his focal image.  He had tried to choose one of Dean with their first sonogram picture but it reminded him of when he wasn’t in a good place and so he went with the Paris photo instead. It was Dean on one of the little closed streets sitting at a table outside a bistro.  Each little store front on the street was painted a bright lacquered color and the whole street was full of little trees, bushes and potted plants.  It was a wonderful, calm, peaceful image that brought Cas comfort and happy thoughts.

He laid there breathing calmly, picturing Dean’s gentle smile and light blush at being photographed in front of the locals walking by.

Cas woke, not remembering having dozed off and stretched like a cat.  He felt rested and refreshed, but still heavy in his pregnancy.  He slowly got to his feet and walked to the nursery.  As he entered the charmingly decorated room, he couldn’t suppress his smile.  His hands instinctively went to his stomach as if he could actually hold or cuddle the baby within his enormous belly. 

He walked from corner to corner fingering every item they had put out and contemplated the baby that would soon join them.  There was the tall dresser containing the few neutral clothing items they had purchased until they knew if they had a boy or a girl.  He pulled out a little yellow romper with a bumble bee on the front and laid it against his swollen stomach.  It was so tiny and sweet.  He could not fathom that he had nurtured and grown a little person who would soon wear this outfit and that he would be responsible for keeping safe and alive! It was still overwhelming at times. 

Just as he almost tipped into a state of panic, he heard Dean come in the front door calling out, “Babe?”

“Up in the nursery, Dean,” Cas answered his husband.  He heard Dean drop his keys in the bowl by the front door and thump his way upstairs in his boots. 

“Hey, hon,” he said softly as he took in the scene of his husband standing in the nursery with the tiny item of clothing held against him.  He walked over and place his arms around Cas, nestling into his neck and kissing him.  He smelled the beginnings of panic smooth out to contentment as he swayed them together, rocking from side to side.

After a moment, Cas replaced the romper and ran his hand along the rail of the round crib.  “Thank you for letting us get this crib, Dean. I know you had something else picked and I wasn’t very good about enjoying the whole planning part of this baby in the beginning, and I’m sorry I did that…” Cas looked directly at Dean as he apologized and his eyes spoke volumes to Dean. “But I really love this nursery now, and this crib just makes me… well, emotional,” he choked on the last words.

Dean felt pricks behind his eyes but kept his tears at bay, knowing Cas was really enjoying this moment together.  The two of them just walked around the nursery perusing all their choices and trying to keep their minds wrapped around the monumental idea of a little life joining theirs so very soon.

Cas realized he was starving and Dean offered to whip up chicken and broccoli alfredo, a pregnancy craving Cas had developed.  As he was working at the stove, he got a call on his cell from Sam.

 Cas picked up an annoyed tone from Dean, “I can’t believe you made that promise without asking first, Sam. I’m not sure Cas is up to that tomorrow night. Christ he’s only 6 days from his due date.” He listened as Sam must have been speaking on the other end. “I’m sure you are sorry,” Dean ground his teeth as he listened again, ”Fine, Sam fine, I know it’s done, I will talk to Cas and text you later,” he barked as he flipped the phone onto the counter and went back to the chicken sautéing and the pasta boiling.

“What’s up?” Cas asked as he massaged Dean’s tense shoulders. “Sam and Jess just found out today that they have to hold a business happy hour tomorrow and they called Gabe to have it at the shop,” Dean huffed.

“Well, what’s the big deal?” Cas asked, perplexed, “Gabe won’t mind helping them out.”

“I’m not pissed about that,” Dean countered. “I’m fucking pissed because he told everyone that we would be there, now he has a client who can’t wait to meet us because he owns a classic car he wants redone!”

“I take it you don’t really want to go,” Cas assumed.

“Well, I was just thinking that it’s probably our last Saturday before the pup and I don’t want us to spend it with dicks we don’t know. Ya know?” Dean complained.

“I get it, but they’ve helped us so much and if he told them already, we don’t want to let them down, do we?” Cas asked. He knew that Dean would pout the rest of the night if he didn’t help him get through this now and that would be two lost nights for them. 

“So, we’re just supposed to suck it up then because Sam has a big mouth?”

“No, we are supposed to support your brother and his wife who have bent over backwards for us the last nine months when I pretty much checked out and left you high and dry,” Cas says with a pang of guilt.

“Geez Cas, is that how you really feel? You know you don’t owe anyone anything for having a hard time,” Dean reassured his husband. One look from Cas and Dean knew it was a done deal. He whined, “Fine! I’ll text Sam and tell him we’re coming.”

 

It was four thirty in the afternoon and they needed to be at the shop by five thirty.  Sam had texted Dean to let him know that they could dress business casual. Dean was wearing his nice dark, ass hugging, jeans with a moss green button down. He had rolled his sleeves to the elbow and Cas was pretty much ready to strip the entire outfit off him and shove him right back into the bed they had just managed to climb out of. Cas was wearing his best maternity jeans and wasn’t that a contradiction in terms, which hugged his ass but for an entirely different reason. He chose a bright blue maternity polo that Dean had bought for him after Cas confided to Dean that he only had t-shirts that fit him anymore.  Dean had actually bought him several colors of this shirt which wasn’t really his normal style but which gave him a semblance of privacy as his stomach, and now chest, changed with the final weeks of the pregnancy.  At least they didn’t cling to his stomach or point out his mortifying need for a maternity bra. He smoothed the shirt down over his stomach and thought he didn’t look half bad.

Cas turned away from the mirror to feel a hand on the back of his neck and a mouth smash against his.  Dean kissed him fervently and without breaking their lips apart, gave back as good as he was getting, leading them away from the bed lest Dean get any ideas. Dean soon caught on to what Cas was trying to accomplish, and moped as the kissed ended.

“Dean there are enough things sticking out of my body already without you getting me hard and we don’t have time for you to put me back in that bed,” Cas quipped referring to his outie bellybutton and slightly prominent man boobs.

“But you look sooooooo good in that blue shirt.” Dean keened going in for another kiss. Cas granted a quick peck on the lips but turned to head downstairs.

Dean stomped like a brat in a tantrum right behind Cas, declaring, “I didn’t even want to go tonight, but someone is too nice.”

“Shut up and get the car out of the garage Dean. I can’t squeeze into my side of the car without rubbing my belly on something and I don’t want to get dirty before I get there,” Cas uttered in annoyance.

“Sure, babe. Anyway, I plan on getting you good and dirty later,” Dean whispered seductively into Cas ear, and smacked Cas on the ass as he went out to the garage.

“Dean,” Cas nearly squeaked, “You’re gonna make me go into labor doing that.”

 

They drove across town to the Beanery, Dean taking the longest route possible to avoid getting there any earlier than necessary.  He finally corrected his route when Cas rolled his eyes after the third wrong turn.  “I’m gonna have to pee soon, Dean,” Cas grumbled.

As they pulled up, Dean recognized Benny’s truck and thought maybe the night wouldn’t be a complete loss after all.  He was surprised to see Sam out front waiting for him with a spot right in front of the shop. “I wanted you to be able to park right out front in case Cas got tired and wanted to go home. Is that  a crime, Dean,” Sam explained when Dean asked about the special treatment. 

Sam helped Cas out of the car while Dean got out of his side and came around to join them.  “Try to be nice, Dean. This guys a fan of yours.”

“He better not be a douche, Samantha,” Dean snarked.

Sam went in first and Dean held the door for Cas and then followed his husband in , grabbing his hand for a quick kiss.

The two men jumped as a crowd of people shouted, ”SURPRISE!”

It took a second to register but as they looked around the room, it was their closest family and friends in a room completely decorated in a bumble bee themed baby shower.  The two of them were rendered speechless, but instinctively tightened the grip of their linked hands.

Jess came bounding forward to plant a big kiss on Cas’ cheek and squeeze him into as much of a hug as she could at her size. “Are you really surprised, “ she begged as she moved to hug Dean.  They both laughed and nodded in unison and then they were swarmed by all the guests welcoming and congratulating them happily. 

As the greeting died down, Dean found his voice. “I can’t fucking believe I had no idea! Cas, look above the counter, “ he pointed at a yellow banner with black lettering that read: They’re Bringing Home A Baby Bumble Bee! Congratulations, Cas and Dean.  There were pearly white and yellow balloons with the banner as well.

Cas cherished the shine in Dean’s eyes and the look of wonder there as well. Cas grabbed Dean’s face and kissed him right on the mouth. “You weren’t expecting this were you? This party is for both of us!

Dean fought back tears at his husband’s words. His eyes grazed over every inch of the room.  “Who’s behind all this?” Dean called out to the group, voice rough.

Sam replied proudly, “Jess and Gabe planned the whole thing! I just had to get you here.”

“Thank god he didn’t blow it!” Jess exclaimed while Sam rolled his eyes.

She handed Cas and Dean each a glass of punch, “It’s honey mint lemonade, get it... And be careful, Dean. Yours has a little sting in it.”

“It’s delicious Jess,” Cas told her, “and thank you for this lovely party.” Cas couldn’t help but choke up of the last words.

“You are so welcome, both of you! Take a look around. They are starting the appetizers now.”

As if on cue, the first of several servers came out from behind the counter carrying trays.

“Would you care for a honey ginger garlic meatball?” proffered the server, one hand holding a tray full of meatballs on toothpicks and the other a pile of cocktail napkins.

“Yes, thank you,” Cas replied and took napkin and a meatball while nudging Dean with his elbow.  Dean turned around and his eyes lit up at the offer of yummy food.

They wandered around the room chatting with friends and family and taking in the beautifully detailed shower decorations.  While Cas was talking with his brother’s Balthazar, and  Lucifer and Michael who had flown in for the shower, Dean noticed the beautiful table settings. They had bright white linens with yellow honeycomb table runners that were perpendicular across the center of the table. Each place had beautiful silver utensils on either side of a bright yellow gingham checked charger plate.  On top of the plate was a menu for the dinner and a black napkin with tiny white dots and tied with a yellow ribbon.  Each setting also had a water and wine glass to the right.

In front of each charger sat a shower favor.  Jars of honey had been personalized with a label that read: We’re Bringing Home a Baby Bumble Bee! Thank you for sharing in our day. Love, Cas & Dean. The tops of each jar were adorned with shasta daisies and a honey dipper was tied to each jar with raffia.

Dean found himself choked up, feeling tears form as he focused on the table centerpieces.  Flowerpots with arranged with a full crown of shasta daisies adorned each table. Sticking out of the flowers were long sticks that held an adorable and very intricate bumble bee cake pops. The pots read: Welcome Little Bumble Bee!

Michael interrupted Cas mid sentence to draw his attention to Dean who’s hands were gripping the edge of the table. “Dean?” Cas wrapped his hand around his husband’s elbow as he addressed him.

Dean turned to Cas and hugged him tightly. “It’s so beautiful, Cas, so nice!

Cas rubbed the back of Dean’s neck and looked over his shoulder at the table being careful not to spill his lemonage.  Gabe and Jess had spared no detail, that was for sure.  “Yes it is, love, yes it is,” Cas whispered in his ear as he gently kissed his way down his neck, “you alright?”

“Yeah, but I gotta find your brother and Jess.” He replied giving Cas a peck on the lips.

As he turned they were approached by another server with food.”Peppered honey bacon skewer? She asked offering a napkin.

“Hell yeah!” Dean cheered and took a skewer. Bacon in one hand, vodka lemonade in the other he went off to find Gabe or Jess and hopefully both.  He found Gabe just as he finished the skewer and popped on the passing tray of a server who was picking up glasses and napkins. 

Gabe looked up just in time to see Dean approach him and Cas and his other two brothers not far behind. “Gabe, I…” Dean struggled to get the words out. The two had been friendly but not necessarily close. Gabe reached out and pulled Dean into a huge hug from such a small guy. Dean, overwhelmed by the surprise and efforts of his brother in law, embraced Gabe genuinely and couldn’t help it when a few tear of gratitude fell.  “Dude,” Dean said when he released Gabe and got his shit together, “this is fucking amazing! I don’t know what to say. Thank you, thank you so much.”

“Yes Gabe, this is really a great party. Thank you.” Cas added as he joined the two, clearly red eyed himself at the touching interaction between his brother and husband.

“You are both welcome. I got game! No need to draw attention.” Gabe covered the moment with a joke. Go get some more food before we start dinner and you have to sit,” he added as he hugged Cas.  As his brother turned to speak to someone behind him, Gabe grabbed Dean by the wrist and pulled him closer.  “You are the best thing that ever happened to him and don’t you forget that. You’ve been so good to him when I know you were hurting too, maybe even worse. I’m so fucking glad it all worked out. I planned this party with you in mind, Dean.  Cas would have been happy with a cake at your house. Enjoy every minute of it. I’m so proud to be your brother.” And then he turned and went in to the kitchen leaving Dean dumfounded.

Sam clapped him on the shoulder, snapping Dean out of his stupor. “Hey there Daddy!” Sam teased as another server walked up with an appetizer.

Holding up a napkin he offered, “Honey and walnut baked brie on a granny smith apple?” Dean and Same grabbed the bite of food and popped them in their mouths. “Mmmm,” they commented in tandem. “Lets get some more punch. Jess wants you to see the cake table with Cas.  She sent me to find you,” Sam told him as he made his way through the guests.

Jess had Cas with his back to the table and when Dean and Sam arrived, she turned him around. Dean slipped his arm around Cas’ waist as the took in the abundant and adorable table before them. Threr were large hive shaped beverage jars with spouts holding the punches on either end of the table.  One was labeled: Contains a little sting of vodka. The other read: Bumble bee friendly. There were trays of glasses next to each jar.  Cas got himself a little more punch from the non alcoholic punch jar and notice the bits of green mint floating in the delicious punch. 

In the center of the table was a ginormous beehive cake. There was a large round base cake that had been iced green and covered with edible sugar shasta daisy flowers. The green icing peeked though and reminded Cas of Dean’s flower beds. The hive on top was a buttery yellow color  and was alive with tiny bumble bees, some of which were on the hive and some suspended on thin little wires.  The hive itself read: Welcome Little Bumble Bee.  “That is the cutest cake I have ever seen,” Cas remarked.  “I love the bees.”

Dean kissed Cas on the cheek and pointed out the trays of cookies. “Did Gabe make these, too?” Dean asked Jess.

“He and his crew did all the food,” she answered as the two husbands took in the cookies.

There were round and square cookies.  The squares were frosted white and ha pearlized white nonpareils on the edges. There was a yellow swirl on each cookie that was supposed to be a trail of flight ending at a tiny detailed bee candy.  The round cookies were yellow with intricate black and yellow dots on the edges.  There was a dotted flight path ending at a tiny candy bee.  They both thought they looked too pretty to eat. 

“Oh my God Cas I had Gabe make your sushi order from that restaurant by Motherhood that you like.  We have to try it” she squealed and flagged down a server with a tray of sushi.  She grabbed one and announced, “It’s the sweet potato you always order. I went in and asked the owner of the restaurant. He remembered you and Dean. Mostly he pointed to his stomach and eyes,” she laughed

“Can I have your attention please, everyone?” Gabe shouted above the din of the party.  “Hello, I’m pretty sure I know everyone here but just in case, I’m Gabe Milton, Cas’ youngest older brother and I would like to welcome all of you to my shop and my baby brother and his husband’s baby shower. Cas and Dean can you please come up here.” Gabe paused his speech waiting for them to reach him.

“On behalf of your family and friends I want to say congratulations to you both.  We are all so happy for you. We know that you have always wanted a family and we are excited for to finally have one.”

Dean glanced at Cas who was clearly touched at Gabe’s sincere words. He was usually king of the one liners and sarcasm.  Dean was happy for Cas because Gabe had raised Cas and needed him now more than ever. 

“As a big brother/parent, I’d like thank Dean for his consistent love and support for Cas.  It’s nice to know that Cas has Dean, I don’t have to worry about him as much when he has you,” he said as he looked directly at Dean.  Dean squeezed Cas a little tighter around his shoulders trying not to get emotional.

“I would be remiss, yes I can use big words too Cas.  I would be remiss if I did not take this opportunity to tell you how proud I am of you, Cas. You were a sweet little kid growing up. I truly celebrated when you and Dean fell in love. Then you and Dean had some serious curveballs thrown at you,” he paused to wipe his eyes and clear his throat. “Am I right family, serious curveballs.” The crowd responded with a variety of here, here’s and claps of acknowledgement.

“To watch the two of you come out the other side of that still in love and able to support each other is truly one of the most beautiful love stories of all time.”Applause broke out and someone handed tissues to Dean and Cas who were now visibly emotional.  They clung to each other as Gabe continued.”I look at you today heavy with pup and about to deliver and I am so happy for you. Happy that you and Dean will have the family you have always wanted, but also happy and proud that you have the strength to be you. Not omega or alpha, just Cas Winchester, great guy, husband and now parent. I love you, Cas, my little buddy.”

It was the use of the nickname from Cas’ youth that hurled Cas over the edge. When he heard little buddy he charged Gabe and threw himself in to his open arms. If there was a dry eye in the house, they must have been dehydrated, or a robot.  Dean himself openly sobbed at the show of emotion between the two brothers and then the other brothers joined the family hug.  Sam and Jess came up and enveloped Dean one on each side. “That was nice.” Sam choked out. Dean and Jess could only nod along.  The guests stopped clapping and the servers began to encourage people to take their seats at the tables for dinner. 

Gabe emerged from the brothers and drew Dean into an emotional and tight hug. They both cried quietly, and Cas came to rub circles on both of their backs, in support.  When they broke apart they all laughed snotty tear filled laughs and Ellen emerged from the kitchen with a handful of warm washcloths for them to use to clean up. 

Gabe kissed them both on the cheek one more time before showing them to their table.  They had a separate head table that was rectangular at the front of the room.  The other tables, all round held various family members and guests.  Ellen and Bobby were with Cas’ brothers, minus Gabe who was working.  Sam and Jess sat with Benny and his wife, Andrea, Ash, Jo and her girlfriend who was taking pictures of the shower. Jo’s new girlfriend was a red head named Charlie whom she had met when Sam hired her to take photos at the Anniversary party. Charlie had also done a pregnancy shoot with Cas and Dean over several sittings, she was quickly becoming part of the clan. The other few tables were full of friends of the couple.

Gabe made an announcement that dinner service would begin and to follow along on the menu as the courses, all favorites of Cas, came out to the tables.  At his signal, the servers poured wine and dinner began.

Cas and Dean untied their napkins and read the menu together:

 

Menu

Starter

Fresh fruit salad with honey mint dressing

Pasta course

Angel hair pasta with grilled shrimp skewers and honey lime vinaigrette

Entrée

Bang bang Thai honey peanut chicken and broccoli stir fry with sticky rice

Dessert

Vanilla butter cake with wild berry filling and vanilla butter cream, served with honey ice cream.

Bumblebee cake pops on the tables

Shortbread butter cookies

Dessert will be served following the gifts

 

Dean helped Cas get up from the table. He needed to use the bathroom before opening gifts and he wanted a glass of water.  Cas shuffled a little stiffly after sitting for so long. He ran into Gabe as he passed the kitchen. He gave his big brother another sincere hug. 

“Dinner was fabulous, Gabe. I really mean it,” Cas said softly. 

“I’m glad you enjoyed it. The menu was just for you, buddy,” Gabe responded. “You okay?”

“Yep. We’re just headed to the bathroom,” he patted his tummy.”Then I’m gonna try to find a glass of water.”

“I’ll grab you one and catch you after the bathroom.”

“Thanks, Gabe,” Cas went to turn and walk towards the bathroom but lost his balance and Gabe had to half catch him as Cas steadied himself with one hand against the wall. He felt a funny tightness in his belly and rubbed his stomach in reaction to the sensation.  He glanced up at Gabe whose face was blanketed in concern.

“I’m fine, Gabe. I just sat too long. See my ankles are swollen a little.  Do me a favor, though? Find Dean for me before you get my water.”

“Sure thing, Cas. You sure you’re okay to go alone,” Gabe asked worriedly.

“I’ll go slow, I’ll be fine, but I really gotta pee now!” Cas laughed as he waddled toward the restroom.

Gabe must have asset off the fire alarm with the speed Dean showed up to the bathroom with Ellen in tow. Dean burst into the bathroom while Cas was standing in front of the urinal still trying to pee. “Cas, Babe are you alright? Gabe said you were dizzy. Do you want me to bring Ellen in?”

“Not unless she can wave a wand to help me get this pup off my bladder so I can pee! I’m fine sweetheart, just come stand behind me so I can lean on you while I’m waiting,” Cas retorted.

Dean kissed Cas on the back of the neck, “You sure you’re okay? Gabe said you were rubbing your belly.”

Dean heard Cas start to pee, “Oh thank God,” Cas sighed as his bladder emptied. “I think I just had to pee really bad. I feel so much better already.” Cas pulled his pants back up and walked to the sink with Dean’s arm around his shoulder. He washed his hands and then leaned into Dean snuggling his face into Dean’s neck.  “I might be slightly tired as well, and maybe a bit overwhelmed,” he muttered quietly.

The door opened a little and Ellen poked her head in, “I heard the sink run so I figured it was safe. Everything okay in here?”

“Yep,” Dean stated, “Just a little tired and a really full bladder.”

“Okay, I’ll go then. I’ve got my cell on just in case,” Ellen told them as she closed the door.

The two stayed wrapped together, swaying in each other’s arms, relaxed and happy.  “I think I want to do this when I’m in labor, it’s so relaxing, “ Cas sighed against Deans throat placing gentle kisses.

Dean moved an arm up so his fingers could run through Cas’ hair. He scratched Cas scalp slowly earning a soft moan from Cas. There was a knock on the door, so the two separated and made their way to the door to find Sam.

“Sorry guys, time for gifts. You okay Cas? Sam looked concerned.

“Fine, thanks Sam. Just a little tired.” Cas said as he began to waddle back to the party.

“He okay?” Sam mouthed silently

“I think so.” Dean mouthed back.

“Your silence tells me you are mouthing word to each other. I’m fine,” Cas continued, “I would tell you if something was wrong or rather happening. I would love something to be happening. I’m slightly tired of being this big.”

“Sorry Cas, “ the brothers said in unison.

“You know it’s creepy when you two do that.” Cas answered back.

Jess had staff remove the head table and replaced it with two cushioned chairs for Cas and Dean to sit in while opening gifts.

Dean supported Cas under one of his arms as he lowered himself into the chair.  He sat next to Cas and smiled tenderly at his husband. Jess told Cas that Jo would take careful notes about gifts for thank cards later.  “You look tired, Cas. I’ll hurry this along a little, okay,” Jess whispered to Cas and Dean, “Let me know if you don’t feel well okay?”

“Thanks Jess,” Cas said and kissed her cheek, ”I’m fine for now.”

The first gift was brought in by Bobby. He carried in a gigantic gift bag and placed it next to Cas to open. It was the brown icoo baby stroller that they had picked out at Motherhood. There was a card inside and Cas opened it for he and Dean to read together. They kissed tearfully and looked up at Bobby as he wiped at his eyes. “Bobby, are you crying?” Dean asked jokingly. “Thank you. Bobby,” Cas jumped in, “and Ellen. Thank you both. It’s perfect.”

“Gotta have somethin’ to push my gran’pup around in,” Bobby answered roughly as he bent down and gently hugged Cas and reached to clap Dean on the shoulder. “Idjits,” he muttered as Ellen rolled her eyes and kissed her boys. There was a combination of crying and laughing coming from the crowd watching.

Cas’ brothers gifts were next. They had gotten them a high tech swing that Cas and Dean hadn’t even registered for. It would come in handy for sure. They had also ordered them a silver brush and comb set and a traditional silver baby rattle all engraved with a W for Winchester.  Then Balthazar who had left the room came back with a large item covered in a tablecloth. When Cas pulled the cloth off, he revealed a beautifully finished wooden high chair.  “Do you remember it, Cas?” Balthazar asked, “You should, it was yours.”

Cas covered his face with his hands and Dean choked back his tears so he could help his emotional husband.  Cas regained his composure and looked to Dean for help in getting out of the chair.  He hugged Balth, Michael, Lucifer and Gabriel, thanking each of them and admiring the high chair again.  It had been refinished, but they had left every ding and bite mark Cas had made in it.

Dean thanked them as well and helped Cas back to his seat. 

Sam and Jess had gotten them  a Boppy breastfeeding pillow with several washable covers and an accessory kit to go with their pump for freezing Cas’ milk and feeding the baby the thawed milk.  Jess had also gotten him some breastfeeding tops that looked like a tiered t shirt. Under the tier there were openings for nursing the baby. Cas really liked them because they were not feminine and looked very comfortable. “If you choose not to nurse Cas, I have a whole bottle feeding kit on order and I will just exchange these for you, “ Jess said nervously.

“I am leaning towards nursing, and this is encouraging to me,” Cas thanked her profusely.

Ash got them a set of Baby Einstein videos and a diaper disposal system.

Benny and Andrea got them the baby bathtub and all the towels and washcloths they had registered for. The towels were hooded with animal faces and ears on the hooded part. There was a yellow duck, a grey elephant, a pink pig, and brown bear. Benny had gotten one gift for Dean.  It was a CD of classic rock rearrange and recorded as classical lullabies.

There were gowns, sleepers and socks, mittens and hats, diapers and wipes, water proof pads to put under the baby, rattles and plush toys. They had been given a medical kit, receiving blankets and burping cloths.  They were buried in baby gifts.

Gabe had a gift for them from just him. It was a framed copy of the invitation he and Jess had sent out. It was yellow and white with black accents and little bumble bees. It read:

They’re Bringing Home A Baby Bumble Bee.

Join us in celebrating with Cas and Dean Winchester

Saturday, June 22 at 5:00pm

The Beanery on Main St.

Dinner and dessert

It’s a surprise.

Couple is registered at Motherhood and Target

RSVP with enclosed card

 

 

The final present was from Jo and Charlie. It was an album of the proofs from the photo shoot Charlie had done with Dean and Cas and a two shots blown up and framed for the house and nursery. The framed shots were black and white. One was Dean and Cas’ hands over Cas’ bare belly forming the shape of a heart. The second was Dean kneeling in front of Cas kissing Cas on the belly. In the shot Cas is smoothing his maternity shirt under his belly so you can see how huge his tummy really is. The shots were priceless.

Dean thanked everyone for the gifts as he helped Cas up to go cut the cake.  Everyone could tell Cas was getting really tired and they smile sympathetically. The two men cut the first slice in the cake and the servers quickly cut and served it with the honey ice cream. They raved over the cake tasting as good as it looked. Cas and Dean thanked everyone for coming again and especially thanked Jess and Gabe.

People started to take their favors and say their goodbyes to the couple.  Cas was fading fast and Sam approached Dean with the cleanup plan. 

“You take Cas home and we will pack everything up and bring it to your house.  We will just leave everything in the dining room and if you guys don’t mind Jess and Ellen will come over in the morning to wash everything and help put it all away. Sound good?” Sam looked for permission.

“Jesus, sounds perfect to me,” Dean said relieved that he could get Cas home. 

“Thank you,” Cas reiterated. “I’m sorry. I just have no energy left and my legs and back are killing me.”

“No sweat, Cas,” Sam told his brother in law sympathetically.

The guests had left and Cas said his goodbyes. Dean supported Cas with an arm around his waist, leading him to their car.  Dean’s forehead was crinkled up with concern.

“I’m okay Dean. I’m just really tired.” Cas laid his head back on the seat.”Just hurry, I need to get out of these fucking jeans and lay down.”

“Alright Cas, alright. Hang in there babe,” Dean soothed his husband. He pulled away from the curb and forced himself to focus on the road as he rubbed Cas’ belly to comfort him.

“Dean..” Cas covered his face with his arm as he laid back on the seat. He started to cry softly and searched for Dean’s hand to squeeze. “I hurt. I waited too long. I should have hurried when the cake was cut,” he whimpered. “I’m sorry I’m such a wimp.”

“Oh babe, you’re not a wimp. I’m sorry Cas. I should have noticed how tired you had gotten,” cooed Dean.

Before long, they were pulling into the driveway. Dean left the car out of the garage and ran around to help Cas out of the car. He ended up scooping Cas up bridal style and carrying him to the door. He gently put him down to open the door and guided Cas into the house. 

“Just get me to the couch please Dean,” Cas begged and Dean complied. “Pants off,” Cas said as he pushed the jeans off, leaving his boxers on below his belly. Dean pulled the jeans down and off as he lowered him to the couch and Cas laid on his left side moaning at the relief he felt. Dean tucked a decorative pillow under his head and pulled a blanket over him. He stroked his hand up and down Cas’ arm and whispered comforting words to his husband, “That’s it, Cas. Try to relax. I love you Cas, I love you. Feel better now?”

“I can’t relax Dean, my back hurts so bad,“ Cas groaned and began tearing up again.

Dean knew he needed to help Cas relax and remembered the breathing they were learning. “Cas, look at me honey. Let’s breathe together, okay? Listen to me. Breathe in two, three, four, out two, three, four. In two, three, four, out two, three, four. That’s it Cas keep going, breathe it out, let it go. In two, three, four, out two, three, four.” He could feel Cas relaxing under the hand rubbing circles on his lower back. 

“Thank you Dean, that really worked, “ Cas sounded relieved.

They hadn’t even noticed that Ellen and Bobby had come in.

“Cas are you okay, son?” Ellen asked looking at Dean while she spoke.

“Much better now,” Cas spoke softly, eyes closed. “Wow the breathing thingy really worked.”

Why don’t you let Dean and Bobby get you upstairs in bed and then I will come and take a look at you to be sure,” suggested Ellen.

“I think I can make it up now,” Cas answered.

Dean helped Cas swing his legs over the edge of the couch and Bobby got on the opposite side of Dean. The slowly walked Cas to the stairs and Dean got behind the other two on the stairs, supporting Cas by holding his waist.  Once in the bedroom, Dean quickly pulled back the sheets, thanking god they had changed them after they showered before the party.  Cas needed to use the bathroom and Dean helped him while Bobby waited  in the bedroom.  Dean helped Cas out of his shirt and maternity bra.  He grabbed a t shirt from Cas dresser and brought it back to the bathroom to slip it over Cas’ head.

Once Cas was in bed Bobby smiled a goodnight at Cas and went to tell Ellen. She came up and took Cas’ vitals to make sure he was alright. Everything checked out and they assumed he was just tired.  Dean sat on the bed and stroked his hand through Cas’ hair as he slowly slipped off to sleep. He pressed a kiss to his husband’s forehead and went downstairs just in time for everyone to arrive with all of the shower gifts. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure you were shocked by my obsession with silly shower details. Sorry, not sorry.


	15. Let the Games Begin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected event frightens Cas a bit and may start the ball rolling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Squicky talk about normal pre-labor occurrences.

Bacon…yep, definitely smell bacon…and potatoes, with onions.  Dean thought he was dreaming the delicious smells wafting up the stairs. Cas was still snuggled against Dean snoring lightly against his neck, with all of his pillows tucked in around him.  After initially falling asleep, he woke several times in the night feeling uncomfortable.  Dean had tucked a pillow between his knees, behind his back, and under his belly.  Cas dozed off and on, never really falling soundly asleep until about three am.  Now it was clearly morning, the sun shining in the windows and someone cooking downstairs was a dead giveaway.

Dean was so excited to go through all the gifts, put together the things that came some assembly required, and wash and fold all the sweet baby clothes.  Now all he had to do was get out of the bed without waking Cas, who genuinely needed some solid zzz’s.   

Slowly, like sloth speed, Dean extricated himself from his husbands grasp, shoving his own warm pillow into Cas’ arms.  He watched affectionately as his husband burrowed further under the covers cuddling the warm pillow to his chest.  Dean ran his hand through Cas’ hair and kissed him gently on the temple, willing his husband to get some quality rest.  He knew that the quasi-meltdown after the party would be bothering him today.

Dean hopped into the shower and threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.  He glanced one more time at sleeping Cas before following his nose to the source of the heavenly smells.  The downstairs of the house looked like Motherhood had vomited its entire inventory, with most of it hitting the living room.

There appeared to be a method to the madness, so Dean touched nothing and headed towards the kitchen.  He found Ellen manning the stove and Jess, Sam, and Bobby at the table eating. “Mornin’ bright eyes,” Ellen greeted him. Everyone else chimed in as well. “Where’s your better half?” she followed up.

“Sleeping, and hopefully for a while.  He had a pretty rough night, I’ve got him propped up with a shit ton of pillows, but man…” Dean empathized. “I don’t think he slept much until almost sunup.”

“Contractions, you think or just overdo it last night,” Ellen questioned Dean.

“I think he is fine, but he is just so heavy with pup, he can’t get comfortable.”

“Grab some grub, we got crap to put together,” Bobby groused, “Cas won’t mind if we do it without him will he?”

“Hell no!” Dean snorted as he grabbed a plate. There were scrambled eggs, bacon, hash brown potatoes with onions, and biscuits with sausage gravy.  There was also a platter of items from Gabe’s shop, though no Gabe.  Ellen handed him a cup of coffee and he sat down to eat. 

They finished up and Ellen sent them out to address the mountains of baby items in the living room.  Jess and eventually Ellen were going to attack all items that needed to be washed and put away. Bobby and Dean were to assemble all boxed items that needed it and Sam was in charge of collecting and sorting all other things into baskets by category, such as bathing, diapering, toys, etc.  The team went to work and when Ellen finished in the kitchen, she joined Jess in her endeavors. 

They worked cheerfully listening to the new CD from Benny when Dean thought he might have heard Cas getting up. He was about to trot up and check on him when he heard the terrifying sound of Cas calling his name.

“Deeeeean!” Cas shouted, voice shaking with fear. “Oh my God, oh my God!”

Dean hurdled the boxes and piles of gifts in his way and shot up the stairs fearing the worst and desperate to know what was wrong. “Cas!” Dean called out to his husband.

When he reached the bedroom, the bed was empty and there was nothing amiss besides an unmade bed. He turned when he heard Cas call him to the bathroom, “Here, here, Dean, hurry.”

“Babe, what’s wrong, what is it?” Dean demanded as he opened the bathroom door to find Cas with one hand gripping the bathroom counter and the other his stomach. He was completely naked, probably preparing to step into the running shower and his boxers were at his ankles where his eyes were glued. He was breathing like he was on the brink of a panic attack and Dean grabbed his arm as he looked down to see the source of Cas’ fear. 

In his underwear and down his legs for that matter there was what appeared to be a mucousy substance streaked with blood.  Cas raised his saucer sized blue eyes to meet Dean’s and whispered, “I’m bleeding, that’s blood.”

“MOM?” Dean shouted as everyone seemed to reach the bedroom. Ellen joined them and Dean nodded the underwear and asked, “Please tell me that’s just his show...please?” he pleaded. By now Dean had one arm around Cas’ shoulder in addition to the one on his arm. “Take a breath Cas, take a deep breath.” Dean encouraged.

Ellen had moved around the couple and was checking out the situation. “Cas, Dean’s right.  You are not bleeding, that is just the mucous plug from your cervix.  It does have a little blood in it, but it’s normal.”

“Jesus fucking Christ. Thank God!” Dean swore, squeezing Cas a little tighter.

Cas seemed to understand and relaxed his grip on the counter. He also realized he was standing naked in front of Ellen and swallowed thickly. “The baby’s fine, you’re sure?

“Yes.” Both Dean and Ellen answered confidently.

She spoke to Dean quietly, “I’m gonna step out to give Cas some privacy.  Get him in the shower and I’ll get one of his books so he can read about it and understand more.  Call me if you need me, hon.”

“Step out of your underwear and come here babe,” Dean said softly. “You’re okay, the baby’s okay, alright? I would have been scared if that shit came out of me too, Cas.” He hugged Cas to reassure him.  “Let’s get you in the shower. He walked Cas toward the running water and opened the shower door. Cas stepped in Dean asked, “You okay if I clean up the floor/”

“I’ll be fine Dean, thank you. I’m sorry if I panicked for nothing.” Cas apologized to his husband.

“Don’t you dare Cas,” he leaned into the shower and kissed Cas firmly on the mouth. “You need me, you call me, no matter what.”

Cas smiled but Dean could see that it didn’t quite make it to his eyes.  He closed the door and gathered up all of Cas’ clothes from the floor. He wrapped them in a towel from the hamper and ran down to see if the machine was still empty or if the girls were washing baby things yet.  They were, so he left the clothes in the basket on the floor in front of the washer. He told Ellen what he had done and went back up to the bedroom to check on Cas and help him finish his shower.

He made it as far as the bedroom and he heard Cas, softly talking in the shower.  He listened carefully and realized Cas was speaking to their pup, but he couldn’t quite make out exact words.  He could see him stroking his belly and could hear the affectionate tone of his husband’s voice. He approached the door and cracked it open, “Cas? You okay, love?”

“I’m fine,” he sniffed, “Please I just need a minute to myself.”

“Alright, Cas. I love you babe.” Dean offered.

“I know, me too.” Cas answered as Dean closed the door.

Dean paced in the bedroom listening to Cas murmur and dying to go in and wrap Cas in his arms. He knew he couldn’t.  He knew Cas needed to process what had happened, he sensed Cas was embarrassed, though he shouldn’t be. So he waited. He picked out boxers, soft pajama pants, a clean bra and roomy t-shirt for Cas to put on.  He listened to be sure Cas was okay and the talking lessened and soon he heard the water turn off. He resisted the urge to go in and dry Cas off with a big fluffy towel. 

Cas came into the bedroom red eyed but not crying and he saw Dean and the clothes. He walked up to Dean and kissed him softly. “Thank you, Dean. You’re sweet,” Cas told him as he reached for the boxers. He handed them to Dean and Dean let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding.

He choked back tears and helped Cas into his boxers, then the pants.  He got two nursing pads and removed the tape from the backs, sticking them where they belonged in the bra helping Cas into it and finally the t shirt. 

When he was dressed, Cas cupped his face and kissed him again. ‘If Ellen is here, there must be potatoes,” Cas said threading their fingers together and heading out in the hall and down the stairs. He stopped at the top and confided in Dean a little self consciously, “Are those pads we bought at Target in the bathroom?”

“They’re in the cabinet under the sink,” Dean told him matter of factly, knowing Cas was uncomfortable.

“I think I better put one on, I think stuff is still kinda, well…” Cas admitted.

“Okay babe, that’s probably a good idea,” Dean followed Cas back to the bathroom and got the box of maternity pads.  It wasn’t rocket science though neither of them had ever even laid eyes on one of these things.  Cas had on regular boxers but there was nowhere to attach the pad. The two sort of laughed and blushed their way through finally putting a pair of Dean’s boxer briefs on Cas and securing the pad with the adhesive strip. 

“How’s that feel?” Dean asked curiously.

“A little odd and now I get all the omega jokes about surfboards that went over my head in middle school health class,“ Cas poked fun at the situation. Dean was relieved that Cas was able to kid about what was happening. Hopefully he wouldn’t internalize it all pull away from Dean. He had come so far in two shorts weeks. “Now potatoes,” Cas concluded.

“Sorry for the freak out everyone,” Cas apologized calling out the elephant in the room and heading into the kitchen.

To their credit, everyone did their best to laugh it off and tell Cas not to worry, but Dean saw the relieved faces when his husband had passed through.

Ellen joined them in the kitchen, taking a plate out of the oven and pouring water in mug to make Cas’ first cup of tea of the day.  “Careful, plate’s hot.” She set the plate on top of a placemat at the table.

“Thanks Ellen.  Does this mean I’m going to have the baby today? I mean the plug thing,” Cas asked as he went right for the potatoes. “Yuummmm! Dean’s are never as good as yours and his are fantastic, Cas moaned in reference to the bite of food he just ate.

“I wish I could tell you for sure, but that’s not how it works, honey,” Ellen stated sympathetically. “Some omegas lose it a few hours before labor starts, but others a few days or even a couple of weeks. Everyone is different.”

“Great,” Cas grunted. “Well, at least we can get everything out there cleaned up and put away,” he nodded towards the living room.

Dean handed Cas his tea and cupped the back of his head as he kissed him gently on the mouth. 

“Go assemble with Bobby, I can’t eat when you stare at me,” Cas chided playfully pulling Dean in for an Eskimo nuzzle. 

“I like staring at you,” Dean protested as he turned to go.

“I like staring at you too, babe,” Cas taunted lowering his voice as Dean gave a playful wiggle of his ass.

“Don’t lie to me, boy,” Ellen zeroed in on Cas,”You feel alright? Any pain or dizziness or bleeding, I wanna know, you hear?”

“Yes ma’am,” Cas responded to Ellen’s attempt at calling him out. Too bad she sounded so tender towards him he thought.

Ellen showed Cas the chapters in the books that explained more about what had happened this morning, then she left him to eat and read while she rejoined Jess with the laundry.

Dean and Bobby were elbows deep in the chocolate brown icoo baby stroller when Cas emerged from the kitchen, book in hand , proclaiming, “You would think in this modern age, someone would have come up a better term than mucous plug or bloody show. Am I right?”

“Good god son,” Bobby cried, “Please don’t say that again so soon after we ate.”

“Sorry Bobby,” Cas smiled, “but at least you didn’t have to see it.”

Jess appeared with a basket of baby clothes, warm from the dryer.  “Come sit and fold with me Cas, these clothes are so tiny and cute.”Cas joined her and they folded burp cloths, receiving blankets, little bitty outfits, socks and hats. The next load had sheet and Boppi pillow covers.

Dean and Bobby had moved on to the swing.  Cas and Dean, each busy with their tasks, couldn’t help but connect across the room from time to time.   “You gonna help with this contraption or make goo goo eyes at your boy over there,” Bobby groused.

“Both,” Dean fired back at Bobby still giving his husband a tender look.

Cas and the ladies took all the clean items upstairs and put them away.  They had to empty all the drawers and refill them.  Cas felt such a sense of anticipation.  He really couldn’t wait to have the baby for two reasons. He was physically tired and uncomfortable and he would make he and Dean parents.   Henry had been such a sweet baby and Cas really enjoyed him.  What he enjoyed even more was the look on Dean’s face when he held and cared for Henry. He could only imagine how Dean would be when he had their pup. 

His thoughts were interrupted by a tightening in his stomach. It wasn't painful, but his stomach felt hard to the touch.  He waited for it to stop and then began to put away the things Sam was bringing upstairs. 

He put a baby wash, lotion several washcloths and a towel in a basket to go downstairs with the baby bathtub on a shelf in the laundry room.  Ellen had suggested leaving the bathtub and a basket like Cas had filled downstairs.  She told him that until the baby was bigger, it would be easier to bathe the baby on the kitchen table rather than upstairs in the bathroom.

He put the rest of the baby bath and medical products in a drawer of the changing table. Towels and wash cloths also went into a drawer. Cas opened diapers and filled something called a stacker that hung on the side of the changing table as well. He marveled at the size of the tiny diaper that barely covered the palm of his hand. He put the diaper away and turned to see how Ellen and Jess were doing with the diaper disposal system. They had it just about set up.

Cas’ stomach had tightened two or three times since they had been upstairs.   He made a note to read up on what it could be. He didn't ask Ellen because he had caused enough trouble for one day after the debacle last night and this morning. 

 He got to the top of the stairs and his stomach tightened again.  It was about the fourth time he had felt this hardening and he knew he couldn't walk down the stairs like this.  He waited and rubbed his belly. Ellen and Jess were finished with the diaper pain and came out into the hall. Cas had forgotten that he was rubbing his belly when Ellen came up next to him and said, “Having pain, Cas?”

“No, no pain at all, just kind of a funny tight feel,” Cas answered caught off guard. 

“Does it stop you from thinking or walking?”

“Sometimes, yes.” He told her reluctantly. “What is it? It’s not like a Braxton hicks, those kind of hurt. This is like a painless Charlie horse.”

“It’s called a contraction, honey,” Ellen laughed as she linked her arm in his and escorted him downstairs, blank stare and all.

“All done,” Dean announced as they trio reached the living room.  “Cas?” Dean posed a silent question to his husband.

“Cas may have had a few contractions while we were upstairs,” Ellen answered for Cas. 

“Babe, are you okay?” Dean’s voice was tense with concern. Cas crossed the room to ground himself in his husband’s arms and scent. He nuzzled into Dean’s neck and breathed deeply.  “I’m fine now,” Cas sighed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it begins...or does it?


	16. I Can't Believe You Have an App for That!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas labors and Dean supports him. He calls in back up when the going gets rough for Cas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thus begins my obsession with Cas laboring and Dean coaching. I did little or no research and 17 years is a long time to try to conjure up natural childbirth memories, but hell that's why they call it Fan Fiction. Am I right?

Dean tilted his head leaning his cheek against Cas’ head. He was torn between jumping up and down at the thought of the baby coming and willing the whole thing away so that Cas didn’t have to be in any sort of pain.  Cas wasn’t a wimp when it came to hurting, he broke his ankle once and cut his leg on a piece of metal in the garage and hardly complained either time, but this was childbirth. This was a marathon of pain and Dean had secretly watched videos of home omega births without Cas and was worried.  Cas wasn’t your typical fragile male omega and that was Dean’s one saving grace, or Cas’ however you looked at it.

“Dean,” Cas warned turning his head around to press his forehead to his husband’s. “Don’t panic on me so early, it barely even hurts. We’ve got a long way to go yet.”

“Don’t be a shit,” Dean retorted.”I’m allowed to worry about you and it’s not like I can help it.”

Cas pulled away and turned back to the stroller and swing that had been put together. He gave the stroller a push around the room and back. “Well, when you’re right, your right,” Cas said as he gave Dean a quick peck on the mouth. “This is a great stroller. I can’t believe I said that out loud, “he laughed at his own admission. He felt the tightening begin and he grabbed Dean’s hand to place it on his stomach.

“Is it happening now?” Dean asked, brow wrinkling with concern. Cas nodded and encouraged Dean to caress his hands over his belly in a circular motion. Dean stepped behind his husband and stroked big circles on either side of Cas belly. Cas leaned his head back onto Dean’s shoulder and relaxed into the feel of his hands. Dean kissed Cas on the temple, “What’s it feel like?”

“Tight, like a cramp, almost…but without any pain really,” Cas seemed puzzled by that. “Why doesn’t it hurt, Ellen?”

“Sweetie, labor starts gentle. It’s not like on TV where an omega grabs their stomach, their water breaks, and they’re rushed to the hospital,” Ellen says smiling at Cas. “The contractions will build in strength  and length and eventually become more uncomfortable. You may even start and stop before you enter active labor and deliver.”

“So what do I do until then,” Cas asked. It had stopped and Cas lifted his head off Dean’s shoulder and threaded their fingers together on his stomach. 

“You just do what you would normally do as long as you are comfortable and feel up to it. When it starts to intensify, you’ll know what to do,” Ellen approached the two men and cupped each of their faces. She looked at Cas, “Stay relaxed, breathe when each contraction comes, stay hydrated and focus on the result of all your hard work. Remember that this effort brings you your pup.” She turned her eyes to lock in on Dean’s, “Keep him relaxed, bring him drinks and light snacks, help him focus and breathe as things step up and give him what you know he needs.” She looked between the two of them as she finished, “You two love each other, you will know best how to help each other. Let’s hope it’s the real thing, right?”

“Thanks Ellen,” Dean wrapped his arms around Cas and smiled, “Maybe we’ll have our baby by tonight, huh Cas?”

“I hope so,” Cas answered with a grin of his own. “We’ll know if we have a daughter or son.”

“Let’s finish and clean up the living room so you guys can rest and relax together,” Jess offered.

“Yeah,” Sam agreed, “You guys are gonna need all the rest you can get if that baby comes tonight.”

“Let’s put the stroller in the dining room until we need it,” Dean directed. “We have the cradle here in the living room and we should leave the swing here as well, maybe on the opposite end of the couch.”

Cas had moved to look at the swing. It was lower to the ground than he thought, but it was very nice. It had a metal bar frame that was painted a coffee color and held a seat with the same color fabric insert.  There was a bear insert with straps that looked like it was for securing a newborn. There was a mobile of bumble bees hanging above the seat and there was a mirror for the baby to look at in the center of the mobile.  It was an electric swing, with several speeds and could swing side to side or front to back.  Cas knew how valuable Henry’s swing was when they babysat, so he was glad to have it. 

“Cas, where do you want to put the highchair? We won’t use it for quite a while, but it’s so awesome. It’s not something I want to hide.” Dean looked at Cas for his opinion.

He was about to answer when another contraction started. It seemed liked they were about 15 minute apart, but Cas wasn’t really timing anything yet. He would keep Dean busy with that later.  This one felt a little tighter and maybe a little uncomfortable, but not sharp or painful.  He breathed steadily through the contraction trying not to tense up.  He sensed Dean approaching him and reached a hand out to let Dean know he was okay, and maybe to reassure himself just a little. 

As it ended, Cas answered Dean about the highchair, “Why don’t we put it up in the nursery for a while. I think we are going to be inundated with baby stuff down here as it is.”

“I’ll take it up,” Sam offered and went to get the beautiful piece of furniture.  Jess and Ellen had taken the final load of folded items up to the baby’s room and the living room just needed to be rid of the boxes and garbage from opening all the packaging.  Bobby and Dean made quick work of that and Cas stood in the middle of the living room looking at the cradle and the swing and rested his hands on his belly.

“We’re ready for you little bumble bee.  You can come now, we’re ready.” He patted his invitation gently. 

“Alright, you guys need anything, you call us,” Ellen instructed in her Mom voice.  “I’ll call and check on you in a couple of hours,” she kissed each of them on the cheek before she left. She gave Cas an extra squeeze of encouragement. 

Bobby clapped Dean on the back, but in a surprising moment of emotion, gently wrapped Cas in his arms and declared, “It won’t be easy, but you can do it. You’re a strong man and you’ll do a helluva job. I just know it. I’m proud of ya, son,” then kissed Cas on the cheek.  He smacked Dean on the back and ordered, “Got a good one there, take damn good care of him, hear me?”

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas who was wiping desperately at his eyes after Bobby’s gesture, “You bet, Bobby, you bet I will.”

“Call us if you want us to come over. Jess’ parents are gonna take Henry while you have the baby,” Sam told them as he and Jess made their way out the front door. “If you are fine on your own, just call us when you need to go to the hospital. We’ll drive so you can sit with Cas, if you want.”

“Thanks, Sam. We’ll keep you posted,” Dean said as he hugged his baby brother.

When they had all left, Dean led Cas to the living room and eased him down onto the couch.  He settled in to the corner of the couch himself and pulled Cas between his legs to cuddle him against his chest.  “We’re alone and you’re in labor.  How you feeling, babe?” Dean nuzzled into Cas hair.

“I’m pretty good considering…,” Cas said softly as he feathered his fingers lightly over his stomach. 

“Another one?” Dean asked.

“Nope, bumble bee’s moving is all,” Cas pulled his shirt up, exposing his expansive belly, and tucked it back against his bra. “Look at your pup, Dean. Look what he or she does to my belly.” Cas placed a hand on his abdomen and as if in response, a wave like movement met his hand. Cas pulled off and the movements continued.

Dean watched the motions mesmerized. “Cas, it’s so amazing to think that maybe tonight we will know what this little person looks like.  God I hope they have your eyes, and your adorable hair.”

“My hair is not adorable, Dean. Nothing about me is adorable. Handsome I’ll give you but not adorable.  You are the adorable one in this relationship,” Cas reminded Dean.

Cas turned his body, as much as he was able to anyway, to face Dean and plant a tender kiss on Dean’s mouth.  Dean returned the kiss deepening it enough to let Cas know he loved him but not enough to give him the impression he was looking for anything more than snuggling quietly together. 

They lay together for a few more minutes before Cas indicated the beginning of another contraction. “Here’s one now, Dean,” Cas indicated as he settled back down onto his back against Dean.  The two men watched the contraction progress and literally they could see Cas’ stomach bunch together as the tightening peaked and then dropped. “That one actually had a little more oomph,” Cas divulged. 

“You’re gonna fucking rock at this labor thing. You know that don’t you?” Dean told his husband.

“Oh Yeah? How are you so sure?” Cas asked skeptically.

“Because I know you better than anyone and I know things!” Dean answered haughtily.

“Okay _Mr. I know things_ , how about you help your beached whale of a husband up off this couch and take him for a walk down the street to the park and back.” Cas bantered back to his husband. 

“You sure, Babe?” Dean asked, pushing Cas up so he could free his leg and stand.  He pulled Cas up next to him as Cas answered,” Walking is supposed to help start active labor, and I for one am ready to meet this pup and lose this belly.”

“Grab us a couple of water bottles and your cell while I head to the door,” Cas waddled off towards the front hall to slip on his Birkenstocks and wait for Dean. 

The two took a leisurely walk down their street, enjoying the afternoon sunshine. Dean offered to make Cas lunch, but he wasn’t really hungry and suggested that they head over to the Beanery for a light snack for Cas and lunch if Dean wanted it.  They walked back to the house and Cas used the bathroom before they were supposed to go. 

“Dean,“  Cas breathed out,  one hand on his lower back the other under his belly rubbing firmly.  “Maybe let’s stay home for a while. That last one was a little worse and I think you should start timing, just to see what’s going on.”

“Bad one huh?” Dean reiterated.  “Poor, hon.  I’m sorry you have to hurt Cas, I’d take it for you if I could,” Dean tried to console his husband.

“Don’t overreact Dean, though I know you would spare me any suffering. You’re good to me, and I love you for it. Make me a cup of tea?”

“Sure thing, babe,” Dean pecked Cas on the lips and rubbed his lower back.  “Whatcha gonna do now?”

“Jess left a list of gifts and preaddressed thank you cards. Why don’t we work on those for a while?” Cas suggested.

The last thing Dean wanted to do was write out thank you notes, but he sensed that Cas was looking to occupy his mind so he smiled and answered, ”Sure, let’s get those done since it looks like we might be very busy soon. Just let me get you some tea.”

Cas got the cards and the list and met Dean in the kitchen, “May as well work in here where we can spread out a little.”

Dean poured boiling water in a mug and dunked a tea bag up and down till is sank into the water. “Here you go, babe.” He set the mug down on the table and grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket.  “Let’s keep track of your contractions in here,” Dean said as he opened the app he had purchased months ago.

“I can’t believe you have an app on your phone to track my labor,” Cas laughed. “Alright, here’s your chance, got one coming.” Cas began to slowly breathe in and out.  

“Start time 4:35pm,” Dean entered. He waited as Cas breathed but not too concentrated. 

“Okay, it’s over now,” Cas let Dean know and went to work on the list of notes.  Luckily for them, Jess had done all of the wok on the envelopes, so Cas only had to write a short note to each guest.

“End time 4:36,” Dean stated and punched a button on his phone. “That one lasted 48 seconds Cas.”

The two men worked their way through the list, Cas diligently writing his notes and Dean tracking  contractions like he was responsible for national security.  Over about two and a half hours Cas had finished the notes and Dean had tracked nine contractions that lasted about fifty seconds and varied between fifteen and twenty minutes apart.  Dean even showed Cas a graph illustrating his labor pattern. His contractions were definitely stronger, but Cas “was not suffering’, in his own words.

Cas suggested they have something to eat for dinner and then put in a movie and relax.  Dean thought he had enough in the fridge to make a fruit salad and there were leftover potatoes from this morning.  They ate while they watched a Top Chef marathon. Cas had a few more contractions every hour and they were getting  little closer and more frequent.  Now there were at least a minute long if not a little longer and were between fifteen and eighteen minutes apart.  Cas had gone upstairs at one point and gotten the baby book that he and Dean had begun.  He entered all the information about the baby shower and also how he had gone into labor in the appropriate sections of the book.

Dean got a call from Sam and let him know things were okay. Ellen, true to her word had called to check as well. Jo had called and offered good wishes, and Charlie’s services for a black and white photo shoot during labor and delivery if they wanted it.

When Dean explained the offer, Cas glanced over at the framed photo of Dean and Cas that she had taken and accepted. He knew that Charlie would do a tasteful job and he didn’t want Dean to be worried about photos while they were laboring. 

The last contraction had caused Cas to suck in a sharp breath, but only for a second.  Dean was glad that Cas was in great control and hoped that he could help Cas stay that way throughout the remaining stages.

About ten, Cas decided they should go to bed for a while.  He was ready for at least a nap and though he might even be able to sleep through some of this early labor.  Dean changed into pajama pants and a t-shirt, Cas was already in his, but he went to the bathroom and changed the pad in his boxer briefs.  There was not more bloody mucous, thank goodness, but he felt better with it on. 

Cas climbed into bed and nestled down into the pillows. Dean climbed in on his side and began to pull pillows around and under Cas to help him get comfy.  Cas reached out and cupped Dean’s face, smiling as he slid his hand around the back of his neck to pull him in for a kiss.  “God, I love you Dean,” Cas murmured to his husband. “Are you excited honey?”

“More than you will ever know,” Dean murmured back.  “I’m just worried about you a little.”

“Dean, promise me something…’cause I’m a little worried, myself,” Cas admitted.

“Anything babe, just name it,” Dean responded rubbing his thumb across Cas’ cheek and kissing him tenderly.

“Don’t let me…” Cas’ voice broke and he paused to regroup. “Promise me you won’t let me get hysterical and out of control. Coach me and keep me in control of myself…please?” Cas pleaded. 

“Of course, Cas, of course. But you are going to do so well, I just know it.” Dean soothed.

“It’s just going to take so much longer than I pictured in my head, and I hope I don’t lose it, you know,” Cas looked for understanding in his husband’s eyes. 

“We are going to handle this one contraction at a time, one stage at a time, and before long, we will have our little bumble bee, got it?” Dean reassured Cas firmly.

“Got it,” Cas confirmed. He closed his eyes to try to sleep but kept a grip on one of Dean’s hands.

Cas must have dozed off because suddenly he was awake, groggy and in pain. He gripped underneath his belly, and groaned as the worst of the pain seemed to pass. Dean was wrapped around Cas from behind and stirred as Cas awoke and groaned.  Cas rolled and reached for his phone on the bedside table and clicked the home button. The photo of Dean in Paris lit up the screen and the time read: 2:47.  Cas set the phone back down and settled back against Dean who had barely moved and clearly remained asleep. He decided to see if it really was the contraction that woke him or if he just woke up by chance. 

It was obvious to him several minutes later when he jarred awake, again in the middle of a painful contraction. “Dean,” he shook him as he called to his husband. “Shit…Ay yi yi…that hurts, “ Cas cursed out rubbing under his belly.

Dean finally seemed to understand what was happening and sat up to lean over Cas. “Shit babe, sorry…you okay?” Dean asked as he soothed up and down Cas’ arm.

“Yeah,” Cas breathed as he spoke, “Wow, that woke me right up.  I think things might be getting intense Dean.”

“Better keep track again, huh?” Dean continued to run his hand over Cas’ shoulder.  “You need anything Cas?”

“I think I have to pee and I probably should sip on something so I don’t dehydrate.” Cas stated as he attempted to right himself and get on his feet. “Ooh…everything kind of aches, babe. Give me a hand?”

Dean hopped out of bed and came around to support Cas as he got up.  He helped him over to the bathroom and Cas decided to sit and pee in case he had another pain.  He did pee quite a bit and then decided to lay in bed for a while.  They timed several contractions about twelve minutes apart and lasting about seventy seconds each.  After about an hour, Cas couldn’t sit still anymore, and wanted to go downstairs, so they did. 

Cas was still wearing Dean’s boxer briefs, pajama pants and a loose t-shirt that he had gone to bed in earlier. By the time they got down to the living room, he stripped the pants off and walked around in the underwear and t-shirt.  Truthfully, he paced like a caged lion, stopping when a contraction hit moaning and having Dean rub his lower back or belly.

His labor was definitely intensifying and yet remaining around the twelve, eleven, thirteen minutes apart pattern. He drank water, juice and peppermint tea whenever Dean gave it to him.  Cas leaned over the back of the couch and buried his face in the crook of his elbow waiting out the pain.  He couldn’t bear to sit because he had to be up when the pain started so he waddled a path in the wood floors from the kitchen into the dining room, into the living room, over and over again. At his request, Dean stayed in the living room unless he called him.  “Please, Dean. I can walk 15 feet without supervision.” But seeing the look of hurt that he unintentionally put on his husband’s face, he was sure to stop for a kiss every lap. 

Every hour or so, the pain seemed to ratchet up a notch. Cas was caught off guard at about a quarter after five Monday morning with a particularly strong contraction while he was in the dining room. “Oh Jesus, Deeeeean…fuuuuck… ow ow ow!” Cas cried out as Dean ran to him.  Cas fisted a hand into Dean’s shirt pinching his skin by accident and causing Dean to yelp before he could help it, “Ouch, Cas, babe, breathe, sweetheart breathe,” Dean told him gathering Cas into his chest, chin over his head. He rubbed circles on his lower back trying to help Cas overcome the harsh contraction. 

“It’s bad, Dean.  This is not fun, not fun at all,” his voice was panicky, breathing rough and fast.  “I…it didn’t…I need…”

“What Cas, what do you need. Tell me and I’ll do it babe,” he continued the soothing circles and rocked Cas gently back and forth almost like they were slow dancing. “Breathe in, two three four, out two three four, in two three four, out two three four,”

Cas lifted his head to kiss Dean softly, “Thanks. I’m sorry… I just…it got away from me.  I couldn’t stay on top of that one.”

“Alright, Cas, it’s alright,” Dean cooed and rocked them, “Don’t apologize, I’ve got you. What can I do to help?”

“Well you can start by waving a big fucking magic fairy wand and popping the baby out!” Cas teased as he melted into Dean’s hold. 

Dean stroked his fingers through Cas’ hair and feigned horror, “Are you calling me a fairy, Cas?”

He felt Cas smile against his throat and he kissed the top of his husband’s head. “We have to have a plan for the next one, though, huh? Can’t have you hurt like that, now can we?”

“No, you’re right. You need to start breathing with me every time now, so I don’t get out of rhythm, okay?” Cas asked quietly.

“You bet, anything else? Wanna lay down or kneel or get in the tub?” We still got a ways to go. Ellen says head in at five to seven minutes apart. And we are still at eleven or twelve.” Dean offered.

“Jesus, I’ll never make it, this is harder than I thought,” Cas tightened his grip on Dean. “Can we call Gabe, I’d like to see him if it’s okay with you.”

“Babe, anything. Just say the word.  I’ll call him now.  I’m sure he’ll come right over. Okay, love?” Dean pulled up Gabe’s contact and hit call. “Hey Gabe, how do you feel about coming over to help your little brother with some pain?” Dean teased then paused as Gabe spoke. “Yeah started easy last night and then we slept some but he’s in the thick of it right now and he asked for you,” another pause, “okay, see you in a few.”

Cas started to moan and Dean started to coach him, encouraging the breathing pattern they had practiced for this stage of labor.  He texted Sam, inviting him and Jess to join them.  He moved Cas into the living room at the end of the last contraction.  He got him a drink of water and a cold cloth for the back of his neck before the next one hit, equally intense and coached and comforted Cas through the rise and fall of that pain.

A couple more passed when they heard a knock at the door.  Cas walked to answer it with Dean right behind him.  Cas stopped in the hallway and braced himself against the wall as another contractions rolled through his abdomen and Dean opened the door to let in Gabe.  Dean moved right to Cas’ side motioning Gabe to stay quiet until the contraction passed. “That’s it babe, good job.” Cas leaned up for a kiss and saw his brother out of the corner of his eye.

He turned to Gabe, who was approaching him and lower lip trembling, hugged his big brother burying his face in the crook of his neck.  He inhaled huge amounts of his alpha brother/parent scent and drank in the comforts of his youth.  Cas teared up a little but managed to keep himself from falling completely apart.

“Hey now little buddy,” Gabe stroked Cas’ hair with one hand and his back with the other. He could see that Cas was tired, eyes red but not like he had been crying.  He moved gingerly, so Gabe knew the labor must be real and progressing.

“Hey, Gabe,” Cas said as he straightened out of the hug. “This sucks.  Sucks balls as you used to say.”

Gabe laughed, “I thought you said sucking balls wasn’t all bad!” Gabe mocked his little brother as they walked to the living room.  Cas punched Gabe in the shoulder and rolled his eyes.  Gabe hugged Dean, giving him a look that Dean took as gratitude.

Dean filled Gabe in on the routine as it stood now and they took turns coaching Cas through the early stage of his labor.  Pretty soon Jess and Sam joined them.  They sat around the living room while Cas paced and struggled to get through each pain that came his way. They helped him try different positions like kneeling in front of the couch or chair, swaying his hips back and forth or squatting between Dean’s knees resting his head on Dean’s thigh.  Unfortunately, Cas reached a point that he couldn’t contract more closely than eleven minutes consistently.

“Cas, babe, try not to tense up, try to stay relaxed when the contraction comes, okay? I know it’s hard, but when you tense, it’s worse and you won’t progress.” Dean encouraged.  Cas narrowed his eyes at Dean’s comment. Everyone including Dean caught the look and they couldn’t help but giggle at the scorching Cas could lay on Dean with just one look.  “What,” Dean asked incredulously, ”I read it in one of the books!”

As if on cue, Cas leaned into Dean as another contractions began to build, rocking gently back and forth Cas breathing and Dean rubbing circles on his back.  Cas cried out at the peak, unable to keep his breathing steady and clutched at his belly. “Fuuuck, Jesus, fuck it’s bad. Aaaaaaah, god damn!” Cas swore up and down as the pain enveloped him and then subsided. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Cas hiccupped as he choked out the apology. “I can’t seem to relax anymore and stay on top of them.” He buried his face in Dean’s shoulder and shook, not with frustration.  “This is not easy…I thought I was good with pain, but Jesus…” Cas confessed.

Everyone felt for Cas. It was so strange to see him like this.  He was always the calm, cool and collected one before the pregnancy.  It was Jess who spoke up, with a suggestion,” Cas, why don’t you try the tub.  I bet if you get in a warm bath, you will be able to relax and pretty soon we can take you to the center, okay?” She rubbed his back as he leaned on Dean.

Dean had been trying all night to get him in the tub and was glad to hear Jessica suggest it. He was even more thrilled when Cas seemed interested. “You think so?” He asked her. 

“It worked for me, “Jess said encouragingly.

Cas agreed to try it and Dean and Gabe helped Cas up the stairs and into their master bathroom.  Their bathroom was painted a calming, soft, sage green with a white bead board and chair rail.  There were double pedestal sinks and matching mirrored medicine cabinets.  Above the sinks running the length of the wall was a slim, cherry finished shelf. Across from the sinks against a full wall of windows was the modern style freestanding tub.  The walk in shower was on the other end of the room and had a clear glass door.  Cas had designed this bathroom when they renovated and it seemed appropriate that he find his labor zen here. Gabe ran the sleek white tub full of very warm water and Dean helped Cas survive another agonizing pain until the tub was ready.  Together Dean and Gabe undressed Cas and helped him climb in before another contraction could arrive.  

Cas eased down into the water with a sigh. He looked up at Dean gratefully as the warm water relaxed his tense muscles. 

He scooted down so the water covered his shoulders, but the top portion of his baby bump remained out of the water.  Cupping his hands he brought water over his tummy, moaning at the pleasure it brought him.  He leaned his head against the side of the tub, closed his eyes and rested until the next contraction came for him. He felt Dean’s hand lift his head and place a towel under his cheek where it lay against the tub. He felt fingers run through his hair and scratch gently at his scalp.  ‘That’s it, Cas. Just relax and rest,” Dean whispered. 

Far too soon for his liking, Cas felt the beginning of a contraction. “Here it comes Dean.”

He opened his eyes to see Dean nod at Gabe, who pressed something on Dean’s phone. 

“Take a deep breath, Cas, and blow it out.  Now breathe in two three four, out two three four…”Dean talked Cas through the contraction and that combined with the warm water, Cas was markedly more relaxed.  After three or four more came, he pulled Dean down and put his husband’s arm under his head and behind his neck. 

Dean had to lean over the tub to keep himself in the position Cas needed  but it hardly compared to Cas’ suffering his way to delivering their pup. Dean cradled Cas’ head in the crook of his elbow and stroked his hair encouraging him to breathe and stay relaxed. He looked to  Gabe after every contraction waiting for the nod that would say they were getting closer to the eight minute mark they had set for a goal of getting Cas packaged up for the birthing center. 

Jess and Sam poked their heads in to check on everyone and to bring drinks every now and then. Gabe had run the hot water a few times to keep Cas warm and comfortable, so Dean was responsible for nothing but coaching and consoling his husband.  The contractions were lengthening and getting closer and Cas whimpered and shook at the peak of each one, but all in all the tub had done its job at allowing Cas to progress. About nine thirty, almost seven hours after the contractions woke them up,  Dean finally got the nod from Gabe that they had reached their goal and he whispered to his brother in law that he should tell Sam to get the labor bag and the baby bag from the nursery and put them in the car.  He also sent Gabe to get new boxer briefs and a soft pair of sweatpants, a clean bra and one of the maternity polo shirts. 

“Cas, baby, it’s time to go to the birthing center.  We need to get you out of the tub and dressed,“ Dean whispered.

“Un-uh,” Cas mumbled, “Stayin’ here. ‘snice here.”  Dean tried to pull his arm from under Cas, but he wasn’t having any of it. “No Dean, just a little longer, please…”

“If you stay here any longer, you will be too uncomfortable and also Ellen will kill me, so let’s get going,” Dean tried to convince Cas.

“One more contraction…just one more,” Cas pleaded.

Dean let Cas stay in the tub for one more contraction but then took charge, ignoring the pathetic look Cas shot him as he left the warm water.  Gabe wrapped Cas in a towel and between the two of them, Gabe and Dean got Cas dry and dressed, just as a contraction hit.  Cas attempted to breathe but without the water, he tensed up immediately and shook like a leaf. He endured a terribly painful contraction that seemed to never end as he clung to Dean who supported Cas with his embrace. 

Dean heard the impala roar to life and it shook him into moving Cas out of the bathroom. Dean threw on clean boxers, jeans and a t-shirt, not caring that he stripped and dressed in front of his brother in law.  He got Cas down the stairs, where Jess was by the front door waiting for the trio to head out.  She told Dean that their bag was in the car and had their wallets and Cas’ cell phone.  She also said the baby bag was in the car and that Sam was ready to drive them and that she had used Cas’ phone to call Ellen to let her know they were on their way. Dean kissed Jess on the cheek for being such a sweetheart. 

Cas began to moan with the next contraction and he turned to Dean for comfort.  He groaned and swayed his hips, searching for a comfortable place or position, finding none.  Just when he thought he would scream with the pain, it peaked and began its decline. He wanted to sob with relief, but picked up his head and kissed Dean, saying “Get me to the center and into a tub, Winchester.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to end it there, but the whole going to work thing is cramping my style...


	17. Kickin' Ass and Takin' Names...That's How We Do!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas labors at the birthing center. Dean struggles to watch Cas suffer. Cas is actually a trooper.

The ride to the birthing center was on unpaved roads as far as Cas was concerned.  Each bump and imperfection in the pavement jarred him unbearably, leaving him feeling as though he were being impaled. Dean did his best but between the general discomfort of the car ride and the contractions without the comfort of the tub, Cas was a mess halfway through the short trip.  He tried desperately to find a comfortable position ending up lying with his head in Dean’s lap when Sam finally pulled up in front of the center.  He had no intention of going into the center or anywhere for that matter and at the same time had the urge to jump out of his own skin and fly somewhere far away. 

Sam had the car door open apologizing profusely, “Sorry Cas, I felt like I hit every bump between your house and here.”

“Come on babe,” Dean coaxed Cas as he tried to get him into a sitting position.  He needed to persuade Cas to scoot over to the door and then stand and walk to the center’s front doors.  It was approximately ten in the morning and the place was hopping with omegas heading to or coming from appointments.  Cas was  hit by another huge contraction and refused to exit the car.

“Okay, Cas, okay, breathe through it,” Dean encouraged.

It finally passed and Cas announced, “I’m not going in…staying here.” And he began to turn in on himself quietly. Dean thought he looked so tired and like he was withdrawing to survive. 

“Not an option, unfortunately, sweetheart,” Dean attempted to comfort and yet be truthful. “Let’s go, let me help you up.” Cas gave in dejectedly and Dean managed to get him to his feet. Cas turned immediately and leaned into the impala , “Warm…,” Cas sighed as the shiny back car brought him comfort.  Dean leaned down with him to get his attention and try to move him towards the door.  Gabe had run ahead to tell them they were in the front circle and a nurse came out with a wheelchair.

Cas saw the chair and balked, “I don’t need that,” he nodded towards the chair. 

“Then get walking and let me help you,” Dean retorted.  Cas gingerly stepped towards the front doors and was almost inside when another labor pain made itself known.  Cas practically ripped the t-shirt Dean was wearing trying frantically to ground himself and avoid the pain. 

Dean engulfed Cas in his arms and rubbed his back seeking to support Cas long enough to get him inside and back into a tub.  Cas whimpered and whined into Dean’s hold and shouted a string of swear words at its peak, squeezing Dean painfully.  Dean motioned for Gabe to get on the other side of Cas and the two of them basically lifted him step by step into the center. They had preregistered so they simply had to check in and get placed in a room. 

Jo came bursting out of the door leading to the waiting area and over to Cas, “Sorry, I thought I would be able to meet you at the door, but I was checking on another patient.”  Cas gave a quick smile from Dean’s shoulder.  “We’ve got your birthing suite all ready, Cas,“ she approached Cas and placed a hand on his shoulder.  “Let’s get you more comfortable, huh.” She looked over her shoulder and informed Gabe, Sam and Jess, “No one but Dean until we are settled.”

Cas shuffled through the door that led to the birthing rooms, hands on either side of his belly, rubbing large circles, Dean’s hand at the small of his back. Jo managed to get them to the door of their suite as Cas began to moan, ”Noooo…ohhhhhhhh…Dean!” He grabbed for his husband’s hand but go his forearm and hung on for dear life.  He tried to breathe, inhaling sharply, an exhaling with a moan, but it was overwhelming.  “Fuck, Dean, fuck, fuck, fuuuuck,” Cas groaned out somehow managing not to scream until the pain passed.

It took everything Dean had to hold it together for Cas when he was in so much pain, including Jo giving him the _stow your shit_ look. “ Cas. I’m so sorry, hon. Hang in there.” Dean whispered into Cas’ ear.

Jo took Cas by the elbow and led him into the room.  Let’s get you settled into bed until Ellen-“

“NO,” Dean objected, advocating for his husband who had been enduring too much for too long already, “Cas needs to get in the tub now, no bed.”

“It’s just until Ellen can check him and get a reading on his contractions,” Jo promised, “I’ll get the tub ready right away and when Ellen says so, you can climb right in, alright?’

“It’s fine, Jo. Thank you, but can we hurry, please?” Cas implored. “It’s really the only thing that works.”

“You bet, now let’s get you on the monitor, so we can be ready when Ellen gets here.” Jo helped Cas onto the bed.  Dean took Cas’ Birkenstocks off and put them against the wall.  Jo told Cas he needed to take off everything from the waist down. “Do you want me to help you?” she offered. 

Dean jumped in, “I can do it, thanks Jo.” He slid Cas sweatpants and underwear off, helping Cas sit and lean back onto the raised head portion of the hospital bed.  Jo put the wide band of the belly monitor on Cas, moving it around until she heard the whoosh, whoosh, whoosh of the baby’s heart beat.  She hit a few buttons and informed Cas that he would be monitored until Ellen came to examine him.  “Half an hour at the most, Cas.  She is finishing a delivery right now. She’s pissed that she can’t be here yet.”

“I bet she is,” Cas chuckled. “Oh Jesus, Dean. Here it comes…” Cas began to breathe in and out. 

Dean jumped into action, determined to help Cas remain in control of himself as he promised. “That’s it babe, breathe in two three four, out two three four…” Cas bent his knees and rocked his pelvis back and forth in the search for relief from the pain.  He whined on the exhale, but kept breathing and made it through that one much better, but not great.  By the end of it, he was a shaking mess.

“Doing great, Cas!” Jo encouraged her brother in law as she checked the strip coming out of the monitor console.  “You are really contracting well if they are all that strong. I bet you are making great progress, with the amount of concentration it takes to stay on top of them.”  She covered Cas with a sheet to his waist and left the room to see how long Ellen would be. 

Another two contractions passed and Cas rolled onto his side, pulling Dean’s arm under his head. He fisted his hand in Dean’s shirt and shook through each pain.  “How much longer till the tub Dean?”

“Not sure, babe, not sure. Soon I hope…you are doing so well, you know that?” Dean kissed Cas on the top of his head, rubbing his hand up and down his back, trying to help him relax. 

There was a soft knock on the door and then Ellen entered with Jo.  She came right up to Cas and Dean and cupped Cas’ face. “I hear you are kickin’ ass and takin’ names.”

“I don’t know about that,” Cas smiled at Ellen. “I really need the tub to relax.”

“Okay, let’s do a quick check and then get you over there.”

“Jo, can I have a sterile glove and gel please?” Ellen calmly requested. She slipped on the glove Jo opened and then let her squeeze a packet of gel on two of her fingers.  She pulled the sheet back and said, “just let your knees fall open, breathe and relax.” Dean tried to move out of her way. “Nope, stay there, you’re fine. Give him your hand, but only two fingers or he might break them,” Ellen instructed. “Okay Cas? Two fingers and a lot of pressure.” Ellen gently examined Cas cervix, measuring his progress. Cas squeezed Dean’s hand and threw his other arm over his eyes, sucking in a breath sharply at the discomfort.  “Sorry Cas, just a bit more,” Ellen apologized as she finished and withdrew he hand.  “Well Cas, you are one hundred percent effaced and 5 centimeters dilated.  You are halfway there!”

Dean saw Cas’ face drop. “Only five? Jesus, I’m only halfway done?” He covered his face with his hands in disbelief.

“Babe! You’re doing a great job!  Halfway is great progress, don’t be discouraged.” Dean tried to ease Cas’ mind.

Cas moved his hands and his bottom lip trembled as he fought to gather himself, “Can I get in the tub now…please?” his voice cracked a little. Dean kissed Cas gently on the mouth, then the nose, then his forehead.

Ellen examined the strip of contractions and then told Cas he could indeed get in the tub.  She and Dean walked Cas over to the tub where Jo was getting everything ready.  Dean unbuttoned Cas’ polo and pulled it off over his head. Then he unfastened the bra and removed that.  Jo took the clothes and put them on the bed.  Ellen and Dean helped a very naked and blushing Cas into the warm water. 

It was almost instant relief. The heat seemed to soak into his muscles immediately. The water was deeper than their tub at home, too. Cas smiled at Dean and laid his head back on the edge of the tub.  Jo brought a small towel and covered Cas with it.  She pushed it down to cling to Cas’ torso and said, ”This will give you a little privacy when people visit. Which reminds me, Gabe is about to break down the door, so are Sam and Jess.  You want them to come in?”

Dean looked to Cas to see his response and spoke to Jo when his husband nodded his consent, “Remind them to be quiet, and not to talk when he has a contraction…please.”

Jo responded,” I folded all of the clothes you wore here and put them in the top drawer over by the closet.  The baby bag and the daddy bag are in the closet as well.  I posted your birth plan on the door and will make sure everyone reads it before they come in.  I’m going to lower the lights and start your CD in the sound system on my way out to get your family.  Need anything?”

Cas shook his head as a contraction started.  Dean helped him breathe as Cas pulled Dean down to him for comfort. Cas rolled to his left side and snuggled into the crook of Dean’s elbow resting his head on Dean’s shoulder.  Dean stroked his fingers through Cas hair and down his back, whispering encouraging words to him. 

Sam, Jess and Gabe came quietly into the dimly lit room. Soft classic rock lullabies played in the background as Cas breathed calmly through his contraction.   When it was over, Cas turned his head to greet them, and Gabe brought Cas a cup of ice chips and Dean a big cup of black coffee setting both on the edge of the tub. “From Jo,” He said. “Hey Cassie, little buddy, how you feeling?”

“Better in the tub,” Cas said reaching out to hold Gabe’s hand.  Gabe gently squeezed Cas’ hand. He let go and reached over the tub to kiss his brother on the forehead.  “I’ll let Sam and Jess say hi now.”

Sam and Jess offered Cas some encouraging words and Cas asked them to keep an eye on Dean, so that he wouldn’t forget to eat and drink. Jess winked at Cass and said they would be happy to. 

Dean fed Cas ice chips between contractions and Jo stopping in to see how they were doing.

About once an hour, Jo insisted that Cas try to pee. She said that with all the pain it was hard to recognize a full bladder and it would impede his ability to completely relax. He didn’t even have to leave the tub, because Jo brought a portable urinal to the tub.  The first time Dean helped him use it was awkward, but it was amazing to Cas how pain erased embarrassment in even the most basic of bodily functions.  After a couple of rough contractions, Jo suggested that Dean move to the next breathing method, faster than the first.  It was breathing in for a count of two and out for a count of two.  They tried it on the next one and they were able to get Cas back into his zone.

About noon, Ellen came back in and checked on Cas again.  She did an internal right in the tub.  “Seven Cas, that’s super, “ she praised him  “You are really letting your body relax and do its job. Keep it up and we’ll be pushing before long.”

Jo brought in two trays.  A liquid tray for Cas and a regular lunch tray for Dean.  Cas insisted that Dean eat his lunch while Jess and Gabe coach Cas through a few contractions.  It was hard to deal with the contractions without Dean, but he knew Dean had to be hungry.  Jess spoke sweetly to him and Gabe offered his hand to be squeezed.  He really loved them both for trying, but he needed Dean back soon.

As soon as Dean finished his food, he came back to Cas’ side. He pulled the tray table with Cas’ clear liquid tray over and started to open everything.  He had Cas try everything to see what appealed to him.  There was chicken broth, orange jello, cranberry juice, herbal tea and ginger ale.  Cas wanted nthing to do with the broth or cranberry juice, but Dean managed to feed him most of the jello and the tea, and he sucked down  all of the ginger ale.  “Can I have more ginger ale? It’s so cold,” Cas smiled as he saw Dean’s affectionate look.  “You bet, babe.” Dean responded looking back at Gabe who went to find Jo for more. 

About an hour after they ate lunch, Cas’ labor kicked it up a notch.  He began to struggle through every contraction.  Dean remained face to face with Cas as he had been all afternoon, and Gabe was on the other side of the tub applying pressure to Cas’ lower back.  Cas had begun to hum with every contraction.  He breathed as Dean coached, but humming seemed to release the pain somehow.  Sometimes in the middle of a pain, Cas would call out Dean’s name and look into his eyes with a panicky, glazed over look.  When that happened, Dean would have to speak firmly to Cas to help him get back into his groove. 

The pains were definitely closer than five minutes apart, and it seemed like Cas got no rest between contractions.  Sam was rubbing Dean’s shoulders between whenever he wasn’t coaching Cas, leaning over the tub was killing Dean. Compared to what Cas was suffering, Dean had it made, but he let Sam help him anyway. 

“Hummmmmmm…hmmmmmmm…hmmmmmmm…hmmmmmmm…Deeeean.” Cas murmured.

“That’s it babe, hum it out, hum it out…doing great, Cas…doing great,” Dean soothed.

“Dean,” Cas called after his contraction ended. “I feel funny…nauseous…I think I might throw up.”

Sam hit the call button when Dean looked back at him. They had all come up with an amazing silent communication system as Cas labored. 

Jo came in, “What’s up?” she asked quietly as she approached Dean and Cas. 

‘Nauseous,” Cas answered, looking pale and swallowing frequently. Dean looked to Jo, concern written all over his face.

“Cas, do you know what transition is?”Jo asked as she grabbed a set of gloves and an emesis bag for Cas in case he vomited.  It was a bag with a mask attached so you could vomit and not make a mess. 

“It’s when you get hit pretty hard with one contraction after the other and they are very strong.  It progresses you from roughly eight to ten centimeters.  Sam. Hit the call button for mom to come.”

‘Yuuuuck, I feel sick Dean.” Cas whimpered.  He began to have another contraction, breathing heavily and swallowing like he was fighting the nausea.  He was draining the color out of his face right before Dean’s eyes. “Huummmmm….hummmmm…,” Cas struggled to hum through his contraction, grasping for Dean who shushed him sweetly through the contraction.

The second it ended, Jo shoved the bag up to Cas’ mouth as he vomited violently.  After the third heave, he laid back down on his side. Jo brought a cold washcloth for his face and one for the back of his neck. 

“Be ready for that after every contraction for a while,” Jo told Dean.  “Cas, you are fine, and it should pass, but your body doesn’t know what to do with the rapid fire labor pains and this is the reaction.  You need to conserve your energy just the way you have been and take little sips of drinks so you don’t dehydrate.” She offered him a sip of ginger ale through a straw and disposed of the emesis bag, getting Dean a new one. 

Cas looked up at Dean giving him a look that seemed to ask _will the fun ever end?_ Dean stroked his hair and smoothed up and down his arm. Several contractions continued in the same manner.  Cas toiled away breathing and vomiting with Dean and Jo cooling him down with cold cloths and sips of ginger ale. 

Ellen came in to assess Cas and asked Jo for a set of vitals too.  “Cas lift your knee, honey so I can check your cervix.”  Cas wanted no part of it at all and hung onto Dean with all he had simply ignoring anyone else.  Dean knew what he had to do.

He had read that transition required a lot of concentrated coaching, so he whispered in Cas’ ear that Ellen needed to take a look at him and Dean lifted his knee so that Ellen could have access.  “Okay, Cas, okay. Babe, breathe, listen to me breathe and breathe like me. Hee hee hoo. Dean inhaled as he said hee and exhaled as he said hoo. 

Cas breathed as Ellen checked him solely relying on the sound of Dean’s voice and grabbing at Ellen’s arm in his confusion as to the source of his discomfort.  “No, no Cas, let Ellen take care of you,“ Dean held Cas’ hand that was grabbing at the pain. 

“Hee, hee, hoo,” Cas breathed desperately. Dean was about to lose his shit Cas looked so miserable.  As if he could read his mind, Sam appeared behind Dean rubbing his back and encouraging him to keep it together.

“Well Cas,” Ellen declared, “you are doing such a good job.  I know you have had about enough, but you will be glad to know that you are dilated nine centimeters.”

“Nine, Cas,” Dean kissed Cas firmly on his forehead.  “Babe, you are almost done. I’m so proud of you,” Dean choked out fighting tears. Sam, Jess, and Gabe cheered silently.

“Sick,” Cas uttered and Dean proffered the bag up to his face.  Cas vomited again and Dean cradled his husband back into his arms. He rocked him as another contraction hit and he breathed with Cas through the lengthy contraction.

“Cas, we need to know where you want to deliver. Here in the tub or over on the bed,” Ellen asked Cas, looking from him to Dean. 

“Babe, it’s time to get ready to push, do you wanna push in the water or on the bed? Come on, answer me please.”

“Beeeedddd,” Cas moaned out as another contraction slammed into him. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are almost there. How will Cas react to giving birth? He has labored well, but having the baby will bring up all the issues that Cas has left to deal with. What is his role? Will he feel parental to the baby? Will he bond with him or her? We will soon find out.


	18. I Know What I am!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their little Bumble Bee arrives and Cas comes to a huge realization in his life. Basically suffering and then fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have more to write but would love to know what you think about the story thus far. 
> 
> I'm also on tumblr: http://willbakefordean.tumblr.com/
> 
> I would be willing to accept suggestions of what should happen with the boys and their little bumblebee. Is that called an ask??? I have no idea. My daughter calls me a Tumblr mom and also a nerd. Oh well, we tumblr bond daily so who cares.
> 
> You can leave your suggestions or asks in comments here or message me on Tumblr.

 

Dean and Ellen began to transition Cas from the tub to the birthing bed. First, they got him on his hands and knees and he spent a few contractions there rocking through the pain.  Next they got him standing and it took three attempts to get him to step out. It seemed like every time they convinced him to step over, he would have a contraction. 

Cas was always comfortable being naked in from of Dean, but reserved and shy throughout the pregnancy with others seeing him unclothed. Cas standing naked in a bathtub in front of Ellen, Jo, Gabe, Jess and Sam was a testimony to duration and intensity of his labor experience. Thankfully they all had enough love and respect for Cas to avert their eyes. Cas kept swatting away the towels that Jo offered him trying to honor his privacy.  Dean and Jo shared a grin at the lack of his usual modesty and Dean mouthed thank you to her before she gave up.

As soon as they were successful in getting Cas out of the tub, he leaned into Dean nuzzling into his neck.  Jo brought a blanket and laid it on him. “It’s from the warmer Cas,” Jo warned him as she tucked it around him. Cas sighed at the comforting warmth of the blanket having gotten chilled while standing in the tub.   “Let’s get him in the bed,” she indicated to Dean.

Dean used the blanket to dry the rest of the water off Cas, and he and Jo supported him under his arms and pretty much hoisted Cas onto the bed.  Cas groaned as they moved him but dug his heels in and tried to help them as best he could.  Jo pulled his arms through the sleeves of a gown and pulled it down to cover him.  “Okay, we’re decent, “she whispered to the row of backs facing the bed.  Sam, Jess and Gabe turned around and returned to their chairs.

That’s when Dean noticed another person was in the room.  Charlie, Jo’s photographer girlfriend was here with her camera snapping away. She had been added birth plan visitor list after her offer to document the birth of their first baby.  “How long have you been here?” Dean asked her with a welcoming smile. 

“Long enough to know what a good husband you are and to get some great shots,” she uttered back in a whisper. 

His attention was drawn back to Cas as he began to shift in the bed and breathe through his next contraction.  Dean smoothed the hair off Cas’ forehead and scratched his scalp soothingly through the contraction. He pulled the sheets and blanket up over Cas waist as he relaxed from the last pain.  Jo came back in with another blanket from the warmer and wrapped it up around Cas belly and tucked it in behind his shoulders and neck.  “That’s so good,” Cas smiled with his eyes closed.

“Just trying to get you warmed up a little.  When you start pushing you’ll probably get to hot but right now it’s hard to relax when you’re chilly,” she said softly to Cas.

Sam and Gabe approached Dean and Sam handed him a pair of jeans and a t shirt. Dean looked puzzled but Sam pointed at his clothes and Dean glanced down to see that he definitely should change. Between leaning over and at times into the tub and helping Cas get to the bed, he was soaked from the top of his jeans to his shoulder. Gabe took over with Cas while Dean shucked his wet clothes and redressed into the ones offered by Sam. Sam also handed him another cup of coffee.  “You’re doing an awesome job with Cas.  I know it’s hard to watch him suffer,” Dean hugged his brother tightly, “Thanks Sammy, you’ve been a big help.”

The contractions kept coming one after the other but thankfully the majority of the nausea was gone and for the most part Cas had stopped vomiting.  Eventually he did indeed throw off the blankets, and the sheets. Thankfully, Dean thought, he left on the gown. 

Cas shook almost uncontrollably at the peak of each contraction, but with Dean’s help, remained in his quiet zone and mustered through each and every pain. Ellen kept popping in and out observing but not disturbing him with an internal check.  When Cas seemed to be at the end of his rope, Ellen came in and spoke with them calmly. 

“You are getting close to being fully dilated, Cas.  You are gonna start feeling the urge to push soon if you don’t already.  It will feel natural, don’t worry.  But when that happens, I’m gonna do a final check to make sure you are fully dilated and ready to push your baby out,” She told them.

“What will it feel like?” Dean asked on behalf of his husband. 

“Cas, your body will sort of take on a mind of its own and you will feel yourself put pressure down into your birth canal. You can just push when it feels right, but we’ll help you stay focused when you need it. Sound good?”

Cas rocked and clung to Dean through a few more contractions and then the urge to push hit him just like Ellen said it would.  “I think I need to push,” Cas whispered hoarsely, “Unnnghhh, I’m pushing.” Cas face formed a grimace and Dean could tell he was indeed pushing. Suddenly there was a huge gush of fluid from between Cas’ legs. “Membranes ruptured, clear fluid,” Jo commented as she used towels to mop it up

Ellen, who was now remaining in the room, got up from her seat over to the side with Jo and asked for a glove and gel again.  “This may be uncomfortable Cas, but when the contraction passes, I’m gonna check to be sure your cervix is fully dilated so you can keep pushing.” She was careful and sensitive as she checked his cervix but Cas cried out in pain and pulled Dean closer fisting his shirt and squeezing the hell out of his hand. 

“Cas, you need to have another couple of contractions before you can push.  There’s a little lip on your cervix that hasn’t fully opened and the baby’s head is gonna press on that and it could cause swelling, Ellen explained. 

Cas looked upset and Dean’s face was wrinkled with concern, but she explained further, “It’s very common and nothing to be worried about. When you contract the next few times, I’m gonna put counter pressure and try to pop the lip back from the baby’s head. You need to blow if you feel like pushing until I say so. Then you will be able to push till you deliver.”

Jo and Ellen finished cleaning up from Cas’ water breaking and slid clean sheets beneath his bottom.

Cas began to indicate the start of the next contraction.  “He needs to blow through this one if he start to push, Dean. Don’t let him push yet, got it,” Ellen said quietly to Dean

Cas hummed until he got to the peak of the contraction and then he announced, “I need to push!”

“Can’t push Cas, blow,” Dean directed Cas, who ignored him and let his body continue to push.

“I can’t help it,” Cas groaned out.

“Blow, Cas, blow,” Dean got right in Cas’ face to coach him through the contraction.

Ellen had her gloved hand back in Cas’ birth canal and up against his cervix. Cas yelped and blew breaths out and truthfully still pushed a little, but made it through the contraction.  Just when his breathing was slowing down another contraction began to build, but Dean was ready this time and started Cas panting and blowing form the beginning.  As it peaked and Ellen applied the pressure, Cas yelled, “OOOwwww! Stop! Stop! Out, take it out,” and tried desperately to get a hold of Ellen’s arm.

“I know, Cas, I know,” Ellen cooed but did not stop what she needed to do. “There we go, Cas, it worked. You’re all set to push next time.”

Cas had his face buried in Dean’s neck and Dean could tell he was silently crying. He cradled his husband’s head and rubbed his back but instead of talking to him, he just kissed him repeatedly wherever he could reach.  When Cas turned his face back up to look at Dean his eyes were red, but he wasn’t crying. Dean wiped his cheeks with his thumbs and Jo handed him a cold washcloth, which he used to finish wiping Cas’ face.

Now each contraction Cas pushed, face reddening and body curling in towards his belly.  Dean encouraged Cas, “Good push Cas, that’s it.” He wiped his face when every contraction finished and kissed him. “Cas, you’re so awesome, babe, so brave. Good job, babe, good job.”

About two hours in Cas was sweating and worn out but still in remarkable control. He had started pushing about three in the afternoon and it was just after five now. He wouldn’t let Dean out of his line of vision. As the next contraction formed, Cas turned to Dean and confessed faintly, “I’m too tired Dean. I can’t push anymore… no more.” Dean’s heart ached for Cas as he weakly whimpered and shook through the contraction, clutching at Dean for support and desperate for relief from what was now agonizing pain.

Dean looked to Ellen to know what to do.  “It’s alright Cas, rest for a few minutes.  Build up some energy and we’ll try again,” she advised Cas, patting his hip lovingly. Cas had been lying on his side as he pushed because he was most comfortable leaning into Dean.  Jo handed Dean afresh cup of ginger ale with ice and a spoon and a straw.  Dean put the straw between Cas’ lips and he gulped it down, exhausted. Between contractions Dean fed Cas ginger ale and ice chips to keep him hydrated and to give him a little energy. 

Sam had left the room to join Bobby in the waiting area, who was invited to join them during labor but wasn’t comfortable.  He wanted to be there the entire time, but in the waiting room, thank you.  That left Gabe and Jess in the room for the delivery with Cas and Dean.  Gabe was nearly freaking out. Jess literally had to hold his hand through every one of Cas’ contractions. Jess herself decided she would rather go through the pain herself than watch Cas suffer anymore. 

Cas lifted his eyes to Dean as a signal that it was happening again and Ellen and Dean went to work sharing a mutual look of understanding about the situation.

With Dean on his left side and Jo on his right Ellen helped Cas roll onto his back to try a new pushing position.  Dean and Jo held behind his knees and applied pressure back towards the head of the bed. Dean put his arm around his shoulders and Ellen directed his efforts. “Deep breath and let it out. Deep Breath in, hold it and push 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9, let it out. Deep breath in, hold it and push 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and let it out. Deep breath in, hold it and push 2,3,4,5,6,7,8 –“

“Aaaahhhhh,” Cas shouted and puffed out his breath, panting harshly.  “Great push, Cas, great push. Just like that next time, good progress on that one,” Ellen whispered her praise and encouragement.  She looked to Dean who understood to take over the coaching.  It was Cas’ wish to labor quietly and have only Dean coach when possible.

As every contraction passed through Cas, Dean coached him the way Ellen had modeled.  When he would try to yell when pushing, Dean would remind him, “Noise is power Cas, noise is power. Focus it into your push, babe.”

Dean was beside himself at what Cas was going through.  He wrinkled his whole face in concern and worry every time Cas pushed, but miraculously managed to clear that worry when Cas would look up at him for a kiss.  And Cas thanked him, in the midst of all that he was going through, the mammoth effort, the agonizing pain and the frustratingly slow progress, he thanked Dean for his support and love. Dean had to bite his cheek to not burst into tears at the generous spirit of his Cas. 

After the next series of pushes, Ellen asked for Cas’ hand and he gave it. But when she tried to put his hand down between his legs to touch the baby, he pulled back like he had been burned. “I don’t…,” Cas said apprehension filling his voice.  “Why not, Cas. You wanted to be the first one to touch your baby didn’t you?” she asked softly, not judging, just trying to puzzle out his choice. 

“Too tired,” he excused his choice.  Dean was not too concerned because Cas was extremely tired and he knew that his husband was still terribly concerned about how he would feel when the baby came.  No doubt he would love the baby, but not sure how he would feel about himself. But still, he knew in his heart that if Cas touched their baby, it would help motivate him a little bit more.

Cas wanted the birth to happen now.  He was long past exhausted and truthfully couldn’t even tell if he was making any progress with his recent pushes. Ellen had tried to get Cas to touch the baby’s head, but he had balked.  He knew what he had read about baby bonding. He knew that it began with the first skin to skin touch no matter how small, he was just afraid that maybe he wasn’t the one who should bond first.  Maybe he should let Dean be first in case he couldn’t be what the baby needed. He may be carrying the baby, but Dean was the one who knew everything about caring for the baby. What if the baby had felt Cas’ apprehension though out the pregnancy and didn’t want to bond with him first? Building pain broke Cas out of his thoughts…

Dean counted Cas through the next contraction and series of pushes.  Cas could tell the baby had barely moved during the contraction. Dean was speaking to him and he tried to focus on his voice, ”Cas, next contraction I want you to feel the baby’s head so you can see how close you are okay?”  Dean was so supportive and Cas loved him so much for that, but he wasn’t sure he was ready do that.

Ellen looked at Dean as he worked Cas through the next weak pushes.  Cas was exasperated by the pain and almost delirious with exhaustion.  Dean took the hand Cas was squeezing and moved it towards the source of the pain.  He knew Cas needed to do this, and he was willing to apply a little heat to get him to do it.  Cas realized what was happening and tried to pull back. Dean held fast and confronted him, “Cas, listen to me.  I know you are tired and want this to end, but you have hit a wall and stalled a bit.”

Cas attempted to avoid Dean’s eyes, but Dean followed him and focused in on Cas’ face. “You don’t need to be afraid of this.  You carried this baby and I know you love this baby. It’s our little bumble bee,” he choked a little but cleared his throat and continued, “You are the only one who can finish this and it might help you to touch.”

Cas was either too tired to argue or maybe he just knew that Dean was right, but when he pushed the next time, he let Dean guide his hand to touch their unborn baby. It was wet and a little slimy, but then Cas felt a firm round object and a faint little thrumming.

He snapped his head up to look at Dean, and then he turned to Ellen. “Is that the head?” Ellen nodded and Cas commented, ”I feel something…I can’t tell-“

“The heartbeat,” Ellen interrupted. “You can feel the heartbeat through the soft spot on the top of the head.”

As the contraction ended and he stopped pushing, he spoke softly but was shocked. “It disappeared. It’s stuck, is the baby stuck?” Cas asked. 

“Not stuck, just not born. When you push the baby’s head moves down, but goes back when you stop. Every push moves it a little,” Ellen told him.

“How do I…what do I have to do?” Cas asked emotionally.

“Push, babe. Just push.” Dean answered.

Cas nodded, and breathed with a purpose, calming himself and resting for the next push. He was still exhausted but he felt a renewed energy having touched the baby’s head.  Maybe Dean was right, maybe it had helped. 

The next contraction came and Cas took a deep breath and concentrated all his energy into the push.  Dean counted to ten through three pushes and Cas couldn’t help but reach for his baby’s head again.  He smiled, knowing everything would be fine and lost his focus for the last few seconds, puffing out his breath, but he could tell the baby had moved further down the birth canal.

 “Just like that Cas, and soon you’ll be crowning.” Ellen offered.

Cas was so tired he couldn’t remember what crowning was but it must be good the way Ellen said it.

He tried just as hard on the next pushes and though he was eager, he seriously lacked stamina.

“Dean,” he cried, “I’m sorry, I’m just so tired.”  “It’s alright, Cas you’re doing so well,” Dean soothed.

“Cas you are making progress.  Rest in between and save all your energy for pushing,” Ellen advised. 

Cas listened and closed his eyes, he focused on the feeling of the baby’s head and heartbeat.  He breathed in Dean’s scent from where he was leaning on him.  He smelled sweat, and concern and an underlying whiff of excitement and happiness.  Cas inhaled that comfort and reached to feel his baby once more before he had to start pushing. 

Ellen had Jo come down to assist her and motioned silently for Gabe and Jess to stand next to Cas. When the next contraction swelled, Cas put everything he had into his pushes. He wanted to hold his baby. Dean pulled Cas’ knee back and Gabe grabbed the other one while Jess pushed back by holding the bottom of his foot.

Jess had personally been in this position, so Dean listened as she showed him to rotate Cas’ knee out opening his hips wider.  Cas’ grabbed behind his own knees and did what Dean softly told him to, “Bear down Cas, come on. Give it all you’ve got.” 

“That’s it, Cas. Super push. Good, good…” Ellen commended him, “You are going to crown on the next push, I think.”

Cas was breathing roughly from his efforts and looked to Dean. “The baby’s head is going to be born Cas. One more push and we might see the baby’s head.”

“I want it, I want…” Cas panted.  “I know babe, I know you do,” Dean empathized.

“Heads up everyone,” Ellen instructed. “Cas has asked that no one speak during the actual birth so that the baby will hear their voices first. So keep your hootin’ and hollerin’ to yourselves. Cas, you’re gonna reach down with me and catch this baby and pull it up to your tummy like you planned and Dean is gonna help.  So when I give the signal, someone unsnap that gown at the shoulders and pull it down so his stomach s bare and he can hold the baby skin to skin, got it?”

Everyone nodded and Cas was pushing again.  Dean had one arm under Cas’ back with his hand supporting his neck and helping him lean into the push at the same time pulling his leg back. Gabe was helping to hold Cas up while Jess pushed his other leg back. Cas was holding the handles of the birthing bed to pull himself forward. They were quite a well oiled support machine by this point and all physically exhausted from their efforts.  A disappointed and discouraged Cas fell back when he didn’t crown by the end of the third push. “Almost Cas,” Dean cheered him on. Cas had both his hands covering his face.  He was trying so hard to keep it together, but he was teetering on the edge of losing it completely. 

At the beginning of the next series of pushes, Jo handed Cas the looped end of a folded towel and told him to pull against it as he pushed. Everyone did their part and with Cas pulling against that towel he growled as he pushed and the baby’s head crowned. 

“Okay Cas, listen,” Ellen instructed Cas on how to proceed, “I don’t think you are going to tear, so I’m not gonna give you an episiotomy.  I’m gonna massage the outer edge of your birth canal so it will stretch around the baby’s head.”

Cas nodded and Dean kissed him, nearly hysterical with relief and excitement at the thought of the baby coming. 

“When you push this next time the head will be born, and then you will need to pant or blow until the shoulders turn. No pushing until Dean tells you to, understand. Look in the mirror, here,” she pointed to the mirror and asked him if he could see well.  He was fascinated and reached down to feel the head again.

She nodded to Dean when it was time and he told Cas to push and counted him through it. Jo offered the towel again and in a herculean effort, face bright red and straining, Cas pushed their baby’s head out of his body. He yelped at the pain and Dean saw the panting signal from Ellen. “Blow Cas, blow.  Do not push. Blow, sweetheart, look in the mirror, you did it. Blow. Blow. Blow.”

Cas panted and tried not to push as he watched, fascinated as the baby’s head which had come out face down, slowly turned face up as the shoulders rotated.

“Little push Cas, little push,” Ellen said, “Get ready with the gown. And no more talking.” Jess unsnapped and pulled the gown down to reveal Cas chest and stomach.

Cas gave a little push and Ellen tilted the baby’s head first up and then down, delivering the shoulders. Jo silently brought Cas’ hands to Ellen’s and nodded to Dean who brought one hand down to follow.  Gabe supported Cas back in Dean’s absence and dean kept supporting Cas’ left leg. Ellen got Cas hands into the right position and nodded at Dean who told him to push. Together, the three of them held the baby as Cas grunted one final push and pulled the baby to Cas’ chest.

Ellen put a blanket over the baby’s back and rubbed as Jo handed her a suction bulb. She suctioned the baby’s mouth and nose as the whole room held their breath at the lack of crying. At the last suction and with another rub, the baby wailed a piercing cry into the room and Cas and Dean cried right along with it. They held each other over the baby and released all of the tension they had been feeling and holding in.  Cas cried for the relief from the pain and the energy consuming pushing, but more than anything he cried at the instant bond he felt for his child.

“Deeean, it’s over… we did it.  We did it,” he celebrated and added sobbing with the knowledge that he felt the bond he was afraid would never come. “I know what I am, Dean, I know what I am,” he wept.

Dean didn’t understand what Cas meant, but they just took the moment to let their emotions out.

Jess and Gabe were crying, mouths covered and arms around each other.

Cas lay back against the bed and dean and Jess lowered his legs onto the stirrups that were attached to the bed.  Dean kissed Cas and Cas kissed Dean, thanking him profusely, hugging desperately to their shrilly crying baby. Dean finally whispered in Cas’ ear and Cas hiccupped and looked down at the baby on his chest speaking and shushing.

Hello…hello there little bumble bee. Shush, it’s alright. It’s all gonna be fine. You know why? Because I know what I am.” He looked at Dean, pressing their foreheads together. “I know what I am Dean.”

“What Cas? What are you, what do you mean?” Dean asked confused.

Cas peeked .under the blanket and let Dean peek and then he softly spoke to their quieting baby, pointing to Dean, “This is your Daddy…and I am your Momma. And you are our little Eloise Grace. You’re my sweet baby girl and I’m your Momma!

And birth plan be damned, no one in the room was quiet or dry eyed after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you love the baby and the name as much as Cas and Dean do...


	19. Worth Every Moment of Misery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We share the moments after the birth and learn a little more about Cas' revelation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love newborn baby sounds and movements, and doting spouses and happy moms...

Cas clutched at Eloise and Dean clutched at Cas. They stayed that way for several minutes, not even aware of their family celebrating, hugging and crying around them.  It was astounding to Cas that his entire world could shift in one singular moment. He had struggled for nine months to understand his role in life as it related to parenthood. His fears had consumed him to the point that he nearly damaged his and Dean’s relationship.  He had barely allowed himself to enjoy carrying this beautiful child and the very moment she had been in his hands, it was all so crystal clear. 

His birth plan had been a final attempt at control. He demanded quiet and solitude with Dean because if no one else talked, they could not point out Cas’ obvious failure when the baby rejected him. Or better yet, when Cas couldn’t bond with his baby or care for and comfort the baby, it would be a silent understanding that would not embarrass Dean. Yet none of Cas’ worst nightmares had occurred.  He reached down and pulled their baby up onto his stomach and before she was even fully free from his tired, weary body he had known.

She was his and he was hers in a way that no one else could be.  Certainly Dean was essential in their life, irreplaceable, needed, loved and desired, but not in the same way.  Castiel Winchester was a mother, a Momma to a very beautiful if not wet and slimy, Eloise Grace Winchester.  He wasn’t her Dad or her Daddy, as some would probably assume so as she grew, but he didn’t care. He would get stares and questions when she called out to him, but he would answer with a happy heart. He knew exactly what she needed and yet he had no idea how he knew that. He cried out in joy at that incredible feeling.

Dean was consumed by a sense of rightness, a combination of pure unadulterated happiness, combined with relief and all encompassing love. Eloise, they had an Eloise of their very own. She was wailing and shaking and all theirs.  As wondrous as seeing her for the first time had been, nothing prepared him for what Cas had said to her little newborn self.  “Momma,” he had heard. The way Cas handled her and held her to his body and looked at her and spoken to her.  Dean’s thoughts travelled through his mind like a freight train.  All was well, better than well; all was finally right and good and blissfully happy.

Cas could hear someone speaking to him from a distance, so he knew it wasn’t Dean. Ellen, he thought and he focused on the source, pulling himself from the cocoon that was his new little family. 

“Cas, you did so well, everything is fine, but we need to get ready for the placenta to deliver,” She said softly. Cas could see her eyes were wet and her cheeks stained with tears. He looked around and noticed Jo, busy but in the same condition.

He remembered Gabe and Jess and Charlie and sought their faces. Jess and Gabe were huddled together hands over mouths, clearly sobbing and he waved them over.  They joined the trio at the edge of the bed and stared in awe at the sweet new baby, and Dean’s pure joy, but mostly at Cas and his honest heartfelt words. Gabe rested his hand on top of Cas’ head mesmerized by his brother holding his baby.  The baby squeaked and squawked occasionally as she became accustomed to her much larger environment.

“Say hello to your Auntie Jess and Uncle Gabe, Eloise Grace,” Cas cooed at her sweetly. “And don’t forget your Auntie Jo over there thinking I can’t see her cry,” He teased her into coming over. “But you really need to say hello to you Grandma Ellen. You’re really named for her, you know, her and your other Grandma in heaven.”

Ellen patted Cas on the knee, pretending to be busy, but Cas continued,”It’s not your name exactly, Ellen, but more of an homage. We wouldn’t be here without you Ellen, you’ve been a wonderful mother to us both and we want her to know that.” 

“You two are such damn saps,” Ellen accused, but came around and kissed Cas. “You done good Momma,” she whispered to him affectionately.

Cas began to feel what he thought was a cramp and sucked in a breath. He looked quickly to Dean and then Ellen. “How about we have Daddy here cut the cord and then work on delivering that placenta so you can rest?” Ellen handed Dean scissors as Jo clamped the cord in two places. Dean puffed out with pride, cut between the clamps and gave the scissors back.  

Cas moaned as the pain increased and he tried to breathe and relax. It never got as bad as the labor pains, but it was sore and uncomfortable.  “Give me a few pushes, Cas,” Ellen instructed. Cas tried, but the reality of his exhaustion was sinking in. Jo put a hand on Cas stomach and spoke, “I’m gonna put some pressure on your uterus to help you get the placenta out, but it’s gonna hurt. Just so you’re prepared, alright Cas?”

Cas nodded and she began to apply pressure and encouraged him to push. Cas cried out in pain and grabbed for Dean’s hand while keeping a confident grip on Eloise.  He hissed through the delivery and grunted in relief as he felt the large object pass.  “Thank Christ!”

Ellen laughed and told him that everything looked good and healthy and he had done a great job.  She and Jo gave him a preliminary clean up and then put the end of the birthing bed back.  The carefully helped him lay his legs out straight, slipped a maternity pad between his legs and covered him with a clean gown, sheet and blanket. The head of the bed was raised enough that Cas was half sitting up with the baby still secured to his body. 

Jo brought a cart over and told Cas that they needed to get a quick weight on Eloise.  Cas was less than eager to give up his girl and couldn’t help but give a little protective growl as he reluctantly handed her over, pulling up the clean gown to cover himself.

 “Still got a little alpha in you after all that hard work, huh Momma? Jo teased.  She did a quick weight and had Dean steady her on the cart as she measured the baby.  Eloise let out another round of piercing cries the entire time Jo had her. 

‘Come on Jo, give her back to me, please?” Cas tried to hurry Jo. He hated to hear her cry already and knew just what to do to comfort her.  He wrung his hands and gripped the sheets trying to be patient until she was returned to him. He could hear Dean trying to console her, sensing the pride he felt at her strong cry and the horror that she was “suffering”.

Jo lifted the sweet baby and returned her to Cas who held her close and tried to unsnap the shoulder of his hospital gown. He bounced the baby and grabbed at the snaps unsuccessfully as he felt Dean’s hands cover his. Dean squeezed his hand and smiled lovingly, then pulled apart the snaps and lowered one side of the gown. Cas slid his hand up around the back of Dean’s neck and pulled him in for a gentle kiss. 

He turned his attention back to the fussing baby and lifted her to line her up with his chest. Cas cupped the back of her teeny tiny head and encouraged her to nurse. She honked and squeaked, mouthing back and forth, searching for his nipple and when she was satisfied she had found it, she fastened herself to him like there was nothing better.  Her little hand had ended up by her cheeks and she moved her little fingers as she nursed away, crying long forgotten, blissfully enthralled with Cas’ breast. He moved his arm around to nestle her head in the crook of his elbow and he patted her still naked bottom through the blanket with the other.  Happy she was happy, he looked up as Dean to find him mouth trembling and covered with his hand.

Dean smiled as his wonderful, exhausted husband and his nursing baby, “So beautiful Cas. You’re nursing her already. You are just so fucking amazing.”

“We are gonna have to have a swear jar, Eloise,” he teased.

Charlie who was still taking photos snorted,” Notice he started it after he had the baby.”

Everyone got a chuckle out of that and Cas reached up and cupped Dean’s face. “You were incredible.” Then he laid his head back against his pillow and closed his eyes.  Jo came and checked on the nursing baby. “Well you’re a natural Momma. Who knew?” Cas felt a little crampy feeling and flinched.  “When she nurses, you are gonna feel your uterus cramping.  It will help stop the bleeding and speed up your recovery.”

“And the hits just keep on coming, don’t they babe?” Dean said as he offered Cas a hand to squeeze. 

“She is worth every moment of misery, easily,” Cas answered beginning to shake a little, “I’m cold.”

Jo stepped out of the room but returned shortly with a blanket from the warmer, wrapping it around Cas and Eloise.  “Jo you are a magical warm blanket fairy,” Cas sighed.

“Grandpa and Uncle Sam are chomping at the bit, can they come in for a minute?” she smiled at Cas’ comment. 

“Sure they can…and Jo…” Cas got a little choked up as his gratitude and appreciation for his sister in law’s loving care overwhelmed him.  She leaned over him and hugged him, and kissed his cheek firmly, peeking under the blanket at the baby, “I know Cas, I know.”

She went to retrieve Sam and Bobby who entered the room cautiously.  Dean waved them over and found himself crushed in the arms of his little brother. Sam released him just in time to see Bobby approach Cas in the bed.  “Well,” he said gruffly in an attempt to hide the true level of his emotion, “I hear you did a great job.  I knew you would.” He leaned over and kissed Cas on his head. 

“Thank you Bobby,” Cas said appreciatively, pulling back the edge of the blanket to reveal the sweet baby nursing at Cas’ breast.  “Well would you looky there.  If she isn’t the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen, besides my Jo at that age of course. And you’re feeding her yourself…already. That’s real nice, Cas, real nice,” Bobby commented pretending like he didn’t just sniffle a little bit.  Sam had joined Jess and leaned carefully over to see his niece, “She’s beautiful, Cas…just beautiful.”

No one felt the need to point out their pleasant surprise at Cas’ comfort with the baby, or his decision to breastfeed. They left those things right where they belonged, unsaid.  “She is sooo tiny! How much does she weigh, Cas?” Sam asked. 

“I don’t even know,” Cas laughed looked for Dean. “Yeah Jo, how much _does_ she weigh?”

“We have Miss Eloise Grace Winchester. Born on June 24th at 8:52 pm. She weighed 7lbs, 2 oz. and was 19 inches long.  Her APGAR scores were 8 and 10.

“Cas, you need to switch her to the other side now. She should feed five minutes on the first side then as long as you want on the second, but at least fifteen minutes,” Jo may be family but she took her job of caring for Cas and Eloise very seriously.

Cas sat up a little off the back of the bed and leaned forward, wincing a little at the movement.  He pushed the blanket back and exposed the still nursing baby. He pulled her back from his breast but she remained firmly attached.  “How do I get her to let go?” he asked, amused by her unwillingness to give up his breast. 

“You have to break the suction or you will hurt yourself,” Jo leaned over a puzzled Cas and pushed her pinky into the baby’s mouth, right next to Cas’ nipple.  She popped off involuntarily and scrunched up her face, honking and grunting, winding up into what was soon going to be a full blown clamor if Cas didn’t hurry.  Dean unfastened the gown and Jo helped him switch her around to the right side as she wobbled her head back and forth hunting for what her instincts told her she would find there.  She found it and latched on determinedly letting go for one more squawk to let everyone know she was protesting the switch.  Cas cradled her head gently back to his breast and she went back to work, suckling hungrily. The whole room was staring, enthralled with the sweetness of the scene and they all giggled at her squawk.  Dean fastened the finished side of the gown and smoothed the hair on his little girl’s head. She was still messy and in need of a bath to clean off all of the birthing fluid.

Jo read Dean’s thoughts and she told the new parents, “When she is done nursing on this side, we will take her to get her bath, her Vitamin K shot and eye drops. Cas, you’ll be ready for a nap by then and Dean can stand here with her while we do it.”

Reading his apprehension, she explained, ”We won’t even take her from the room. We bring everything here and do it where you can see. We will let you take a nap and then when you feel up to it, we’ll put you in the shower and then get you some food.”

Cas nodded his understanding.  He was totally spent and Dean would be standing there with her.  Maybe after a nap, a shower would sound better. Right now the thought of standing was too much to think about.  He closed his eyes and rested his head on his pillow.  He felt Dean sit on the bed next to him. He let himself relax a little, knowing Dean would watch over them.  The next thing he knew, he had startled awake to a quiet room with no visitors.

“Cas, I’m gonna take her to Jo to get cleaned up, alright. She fell asleep and she stopped nursing,” Dean picked up the baby and pulled the blankets up around Cas’ chin.  He lowered the bed a little so that Cas was almost laying down flat. 

“Stay close to her, Dean..please,” Cas insisted.   “I will babe, I will. I swear,” Dean promised, giving Cas a firm, chaste kiss on his mouth.  “Sleep, love, sleep for a while, my brave Cas. You’ve had a long night and day and you deserve a nice nap.”

Jo covered Cas with one of her famous warm blankets and Cas snuggled in and closed his eyes. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I asked before, but I would really know what event or milestones you would like to see take place in the story. I have some plans, but am interested in what you might suggest.


	20. Did You Catch the Train That Hit Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas' finally feels the effects of giving birth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the relationship between Cas and Dean and I am excited to see how they grow and change when they bring home Eloise.  
> Not well edited. Will have to go over it tomorrow.

Cas had never actually been hit by a freight train, but he had an idea of what it must feel like. He opened his eyes to find the room fairly dark, but could read the clock on the wall by the source of light and it read 10:40. He tried to look around, but it hurt to even move his head. Thoughts popped in into his mind: baby, Dean, baby…

He must have made some noise as he struggled to move because suddenly Dean was in his line of vision, smiling, “Hey darling, feelin’ alright?” He had Eloise tucked in one arm, swaddled in a white blanket wearing a tiny pink hat. 

Dean turned her face towards Cas and laid her on his chest. He leaned over and kissed Cas gently on the mouth and held the baby steady. He felt Cas trembling under his kiss and noticed he didn’t attempt to hold the baby. “Cas?” He pulled back to look at his husband’s face in the dim light. “Babe, are you okay?” Cas looked a little puffy, still completely exhausted and definitely shaky.

“Dean,” he choked out,”I hurt, everything hurts…” He attempted to move his arms, but they felt like cement. He managed to turn his face towards Eloise to kiss her, but seeing her sweet face and feeling her velvet skin on his lips was overload, and it tipped him.  He began to cry softly. 

“Cas, sweetheart…” Dean held the baby against his husband’s face as he nuzzled her and quietly wept. He hit the call button, “Jo…I need Jo,” he tried not to sound frantic when he answered the nurse at the desk, despite the fact that he was. “It’s alright, Cas, Jo’s coming,” Dean reassured him, and stroking up and down his arm.

Jo had refused to go home at the end of her shift, insisting that she would care for Cas and Eloise until they went home. She came right over to the bed and addressed Cas like she might be expecting this when he woke up.  “Hey, I see Momma didn’t sleep very long,” she smoothed Cas’ hair as she spoke to him.  “Can you nod to answer my questions Cas?” He nodded.

“Are you in pain,?” Cas nodded.  “Nod when I get to your level of pain, 123456789-,” Cas nodded again.

“Cas I want to give you pain medicine in a shot so it will work faster.  You had a long labor and a long delivery, really long.  You did very well, but you must feel it now that the adrenaline has worn off.” Cas nodded.

“Look at me Cas,” she said softly and he turned his head, hiccupping and trying to hold in and suppress  sobs. “You did a great job today.  That was really a rough delivery, but you were an absolute trooper.  Right now you are a pile of sore muscles and raw nerves…everywhere. I promise what I give you won’t hurt the baby or your milk.” She smiled fondly at her bother in law. She took a syringe from the pocket of her scrubs and an alcohol wipe.  She told Cas it would be better in his leg and she pulled back the sheet and wiped the alcohol swab on his upper thigh. As gentle as she was, Cas still jumped at the injection. 

“Let’s give that about fifteen minutes to kick in and then we will get you cleaned up and ready to eat.  I’ve got Gabriel on speed dial for anything you want from the Beanery tonight.  He’s bringing you and Dean dinner, sound good?”

Jo brought a warm washcloth to Dean so he could wash Cas’ face.  She also physically moved his arms to hold the baby. He groaned a little, but was glad to have her in his arms.  She got very close to Cas’ face and looked right into his eyes and told him, “Can I let you in on a little secret?” Cas nodded again. “You’re in pain, but that’s probably not why you’re crying.  You have a shit ton of hormones running through you right now. You look at that sweet baby and your husband and it all comes to the surface.  It’s alright to cry. You’ve been through an athletic even that lasted more than twenty four hours and you got this incredible prize,” she patted Eloise. “Don’t hold it in, you’ve earned the right to have those emotions…it’ll help you feel better faster,” and she leaned over and kissed him on the forehead.

“I’m gonna go get everything you need for a shower. I’ll come right back in another ten minutes.  Also, I know you wanted to stay in the same room, but a family suite opened a couple of hours ago and if we move you there, Dean can sleep in the bed with you tonight. Here he has to be in a chair. Would you like to move there after your shower?” Cas looked relieved as he glanced at Dean and back to Jo. He nodded once more. 

Cas seemed to regain ownership of his body as the pain meds took effect.  He had Dean raise the head of the bed and the two of them marveled at their beautiful daughter.  Dean shared photos from his phone of Jo giving Eloise her first bath. He also told Cas that she’d had her first shots and her eye drops.  “Oh Cas, she _was_ so mad…sooo mad,” Dean laughed as they scrolled through his photos.

“Poor baby girl,” Cas cooed at Eloise. “You didn’t want a bath, did you?” Eloise was like a little tiny bundle all wrapped up in the blanket.  He pulled her hat off to look at her hair and sure enough she had a head full of fuzzy black hair.  He kissed and kissed and kissed her sweet face and hair. 

Jo arrived as Cas and Dean were about to unwrap their little bundle.  “Don’t unwrap her unless you want her to cry the whole time you are in the shower,” she warned.  “You look better already, Cas.”

“The shot definitely helped, I think I might feel a little bit more human,” Cas answered as Dean kissed his cheek.

“Oh, Cas,” Dean hissed feeling guilty for all his husband had experienced in the last twenty four hours. 

“I’m all right Dean. Look what we did together,” Cas said as he looked lovingly at the newborn daughter. 

“It was all you, Cas…all you babe,” Dean murmured.

Jo had lined the path from the bed to the bathroom with several of the large absorbable pads that were used to protect the bed from post delivery bleeding. She had a clean nightgown, towels and other items that Cas would need after his shower.  “Dean, put your little princess in the bassinet and let’s get Cas his shower,” Jo announced.

Dean set the sleeping baby down and returned to the bed to help with Cas.  Jo had Cas gingerly scoot to the edge of the bed and then turn so his legs hung over the side to reach the floor.  He sucked in a sharp breath, and Dean offered him a hand to squeeze.  Jo got on one side and Dean on the other and they offered their arms to Cas for support as he stood. Jo had told him to expect that a lot of blood had pooled in Cas’ pelvis and would likely pour out of him, hence the pads on the floor. 

He stood gingerly and indeed blood poured down Cas’ legs making he and Dean a little concerned. Jo assured him it was fine and they walked Cas across the room to the shower in the bathroom.  Jo started the water with one hand and steadied Cas with the other. “Do you think you need to pee, Cas?” she asked him. He thought he felt like it so they stood in front of the toilet and Jo lifted his gown. There was something called a hat in the toilet which she asked him to pee into so that she could measure his urine output.  He managed to go and make it right where she wanted him to. 

“Alright boys, this is where the real modesty goes out the window.  I’m gonna take your gown and we are going to walk you into the shower.  The kicker is that this will be much easier if Dean goes in with you. So what so you say, do I get a twofor on naked brothers tonight? There is also the option of Dean wearing his boxers,” Jo poked fun as she let them know what needed to happen.

“Are you serious, Jo?” Dean asked, “Because I have no problem getting in there. No offense Cas, but you look a little weak in the knees and not in the good way.”

“I am very serious; it’s common procedure for the non-squeamish spouse to lend a little support, moral and otherwise for the first shower. You can hold him up and together we can clean him up.”

“How ‘bout it Cas, you okay with that?” Dean checked with his husband who nodded and leaned his head on Dean’s shoulder.

“Let’s get this show on the road, though, I am worn out already,” Cas added.

So Dean stripped to nothing and Jo took Cas’ gown and the three of them shuffled towards the open shower.  Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’ waist and Cas held onto Dean’s shoulders as they backed into the spray. When Cas was ready, Dean turned him around and let the hot water pour over him. Cas groaned at the warmth and the pressure on his back.  He leaned his head under the water and Dean helped him to get his hair wet.  Dean turned Cas back around and Jo was ready with the shampoo and body wash. Den lathered up his hair while Jo gently ran a washcloth over his backside. She had Dean turn Cas around and took care of the front in the same professional manner.  She used a separate, very low pressure shower head to get the really messy and sore parts. They got him rinsed off and then she supported Cas while Dean gave himself a quick once over. 

With a towel wrapped around his waist, Dean helped Jo get Cas dried off and into a disposable pair of netted underwear. Jo carefully slipped a maternity pad into the underwear and then put a fresh gown on him.  She sat him down on the toilet for a minute and stepped out to get Dean his bag of clothes from the closet. Both clean and dressed, they headed back to the bed which had been changed with clean sheet and blankets.  The pad covered floor had been cleaned up as well.  Dean helped Cas back into bed ad Cas immediately laid his head back and closed his eyes.

“That was hard, but don’t you feel a hundred times better now?” Jo asked Cas. 

“I do, I really do…and I’m starving,” Cas replied. “And can I have Eloise back now, please?”

“Hold your horses there, Momma. Let’s get you to your new room and then we’ll take care of all that,” Jo informed him.

Jo asked Cas what he wanted for dinner from The Beanery while she was moving all of his and Dean’s belongings onto the end of the bed.  Cas told her to let Gabe surprise them with whatever he wanted to bring.  She called Gabe and then rang the bell for help moving Cas.

Jo and the other nurse moved Cas in the bed while Dean rolled Eloise in her bassinet to the family suite.  It was a spacious room with a double bed and a private bathroom as well.  There was a rocking chair and a small sitting area on the other side. It was lovely and Cas was ready to eat and sleep.  Apparently Eloise was ready to eat as well because half way down the hall to the new room, she began to fuss. 

Dean and Jo helped Cas get into the new bed and Dean raised the head so that Cas was sitting up.  He carefully arranged the pillows so that Cas was supported and comfortable.  Jo left the room for a minute and came back with Cas’ Boppy breastfeeding pillow. She had Gabe stop by the house and pick it up. Jo helped him put it around his waist and then she told Dean to bring the baby over.  Dean helped Cas get situated with Eloise and soon she was happily nursing away. 

Gabe rolled in with a cart that contained a beautifully arranged dinner for two.  There were beautiful steaks and baked sweet potatoes, a delicious looking salad for each of them and caramel apple pie for dessert.  “I tried not to make anything that would make my niece farty,” Gabe announced as he entered the room. 

He came right over to Cas and kissed his baby brother and then nursing Eloise. “I can’t believe she is here and so beautiful. You really did a great job Cas,” he said sounding enthralled with the two of them.  “I called everyone and Balthazar will be here tomorrow, the rest in a few days.  Cas switched Eloise to the other breast for a few and then Jo came in and gave her to her Uncle Gabe so Cas and Dean could eat.  Dean was hungry, but Cas was ravenous.  Dean even gave him his salad, but not his pie. 

“Oh my God that was so good, Gabe,” Cas commended his brother.  “Thank you for bringing us dinner.”

“No problem, Cassie. It was a great excuse to come see this little sweet thing,” Gabe responded, snuggling Eloise. 

Jo appeared with a huge container resembling a big gulp from 7Eleven. It had the birthing center’s name on it.  It was full of ice water and Jo put it on the patient tray and wheeled it over to Cas.  “Your milk is gonna come in any minute if it hasn’t started already.  Sometimes it’s painful when the baby latches on because it takes a minute for your body to release the milk.  It’s called letting down.  Every time Eloise is going to nurse, you have that water jug nearby and drink. Drinking while you nurse, especially when she is latching on will help your milk let down quickly.  You should pretty much be drinking constantly now. It will help with your milk and will also help prevent a urinary tract infection.”

Ellen appeared out of nowhere, Dean thought she must have been delivering or gone home for a nap.  “Alright!  It’s nearly midnight. Everyone out but Momma and Daddy,” she commanded. “Jo, you go home for a couple hours. I’ll stay and Grandpa’s here ready to rock someone all night if necessary.” Gabe cleaned up dinner and Jo hugged both Cas and Dean goodnight. Cas held her tightly and spoke softly to her of his gratitude for everything she had done to make his birth experience positive. 

When everyone had gone, Ellen gave Cas a quick check. Everything looked good so she helped Cas get to the bathroom again and back into bed. Dean grabbed sweats out of his daddy bag and also his toothbrush. He got ready for bed and climbed in on his side.  It felt odd sleeping with Cas at the center.  He didn’t know quite what to do. Should he snuggle with him or keep to his side? Ellen answered that pretty quickly for him.

“You’re married to him, you know? You can get a little closer,” she snorted.

Dean gently spooned behind Cas and wrapped an arm over his still pregnant sized tummy. He nuzzled into Cas hair and kissed him right behind his ear. Cas reached back and pulled Dean in close to him.  He was barely able to hold his eyes open and that concerned him because he was not sure he could take care of Eloise.

“Sleep my sweet Cas. I’ll take care of Eloise. Ellen and Bobby are here too.  We will just wake you to feed her okay?” Dean reassured him and with that he fell asleep.

Ellen whispered to Dean, “You sleep too, for as long as you can.  Bobby and I will handle your little sweet pea for a while if she wakes.  I’m gonna give Cas one more shot for pain in a couple of hours and after that we are going to switch to 800 mg Ibuprofen. Jo wanted him to be able to sleep tonight without discomfort and she is right.” She pulled the blankets up around their shoulders and Dean allowed himself to doze off. 

About two am Ellen slipped in and gave Cas his meds with only minimal discomfort. He needed to use the bathroom again, so she and Dean helped him go and then change the maternity pad. Cas appreciated the crazy disposable underwear because it kept him from oozing blood all over and having to change the pads on the bed or leave a trail to the bathroom.  He slipped right back to sleep when Dean got him into bed. Dean slept again as well and the next thing he knew it was five thirty in the morning and Eloise was hungry. 

Bobby had a squawking near melt down status newborn in his arms when he came in the room.  He had been walking the halls with her to give Cas some extra sleep.  Dean hit the button to raise the head of the bed when Cas was ready.  Ellen had changed her so she was ready to eat.  Ellen brought in the Boppy and Cas got settled as Bobby handed the baby to Dean.  As Cas got her latched on, Dean offered him the water jug straw.  Cas sipped away as Eloise did and she was very happy.  She had nursed on both sides when breakfast trays arrived. They were loaded with food and the new parents went to town while grandpa was put on duty again. 

Cas felt great after breakfast.  He even took a quick shower and sat in the rocking chair with Eloise for a while.  Jo was back and she brought Charlie who snapped more photos and visited.  Sam and Jess popped in with Henry for about half an hour. By nine, Cas had fed the baby again and Dean was tucking him back into bed for a nap.

He kissed Dean firmly on the mouth, “What would I do without you my sweet Dean”

“Lucky for you, you’ll never have to find out,” Dean teased and stroked his hand through Cas’ hair as he drifted off to sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel myself stalling here. Comments are most welcome and will fuel me on...please??????


	21. Ten Little Fingers and Ten Little Toes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little well deserved baby fluff!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for not posting is a while. I have been doing some serious thinking. I never intended for this to be more than a few chapters of Mpreg and baby fluff, but it has developed. I will post some things next time that explain my thoughts, but I wanted you to have the boys enjoying the baby a little. They are happy and this will end happy, but they have a few bumps in the road left to hit. We all know things cannot be fixed so easily and the boys are riding high on adrenalin. Things still need to even out after the current events lose their newness.

Cas awakens to a terrible case of cotton mouth and opens his eyes searching for his gargantuan water jug. Never was he happier to know that Jo had given him the tacky looking drink bucket.  He saw the rolling patient tray next to the bed and grabbed the edge to bring it closer. As he struggled to sit up and reach the water that he knew would be gloriously cold, Dean came into view and handed him the jug. 

“Here babe, thirsty?”

Cas nodded as he sucked down the refreshing drink.  “Thanks.” Cas said after several huge swallows.  “Where’s Eloise?” he asked pushing the button to raise the head of his bed. 

“Right here in her bassinet,” Dean answered, “and she is going to be hungry soon.  I told Ellen and Jo we wanted to start changing her and taking care of her ourselves, so we don’t go home not knowing how she works.” Dean chuckled as he finished his statement. 

Cas snickered at his husband and started to climb out of bed, “Help me to the bathroom so I can be ready to feed her?”

Dean grabbed under his arm, “Sure, hon. How’s everything feeling?”

“A lot better than last night, but really sore,” Cas informed his husband. “I’m hungry, too. When’s lunch?”

“”Bout an hour, just enough time to change the baby and feed her.”

Cas gingerly crossed the floor in grippy socks that someone must have put on him at some point during his nap.  On the way back to the bed, Dean grabbed a robe that Jo had brought in earlier.  “Here babe, put this on,” Cas fed his arms into the sleeves of the robe and it felt great to know that his ass wasn’t hanging out when he was walking around. 

They stop at the bassinet to change baby Eloise.  Arms around each others’ waists, they couldn't help but smile at the sweet baby girl.  She was more darling than either of them ever could have thought she’d be. She looked like a happy little burrito all bundled up in her blanket and pink hat.  She made a snuffling noise as they just stared at their little creation. 

“Well, we better change her before she gets cranked up,” Dean stated giving Cas a quick kiss on the cheek.

“She is so much smaller than Henry ever was,” Cas commented nervously. “Like a little china doll, you know?”

“She’s smaller for sure, but not so fragile. You should see Ellen and Jo handle her.  “We just have to be confident, we can handle this,”

“You’re right. She’s ours. We _can_ handle this. We _have_ to handle this,” Cas says as he started to unwrap the tiny swaddled bundle. 

Eloise clearly objected to her cocoon of warmth being deconstructed. She pulled her wrinkly red legs up and her arms moved in the jerking movements only a newborn can produce. She was dressed in a tiny disposable diaper and a long sleeve wrap around t-shirt that left her drying umbilical cord exposed.   

“Is that okay?” Cas asked pointing to the blackened nub.

“Yeah, it’s supposed to dry up and fall off on its own. Then…poof…bellybutton,” Dean answered staring as well. 

The newborn began to make her little honking scrunchy face noises and bicycle her arms and legs sporadically.  It sounded like she was working up the gusto to really object to her parents about this incredible mistreatment, having been removed from her warm cozy swaddle.  Cas held a foot in each hand, rubbing the bottom of her feet with his thumbs.  That got her attention long enough for him to admire her little miniature toes. 

“Our girl’s in trouble, Dean.  These are your toes,” Cas teased his husband. The incredibly small feet with even smaller toes were that tell tale newborn blotchy red and attached to skinny little legs with the same wrinkly red skin.  

“Hey, you love my toes,” Dean objected.

“Yes, but you are a full grown man with manly toes.  She is our little baby girl, who needs little girly toes,” Cas ribbed back. “Let’s see her fingers,” he stated as he folded back the pocket cuffs that covered her hands. 

He exposed the same red wrinkly skin on her hands which were tiny and perfect with ten petite fingers.  Each finger had the most miniscule, yet flawless fingernail. Cas marveled at the miracle that was their little baby bumble bee.  He couldn’t help but think how complicated creating a life was and yet how faultless she had been born.  He took off her pink hat again and felt the downy softness of her hair and wondered at her teensy weensy ears which were incredibly pliable as he touched them. 

Her big blues eyes switched between being wide open and scrunched tightly shut as she continued to wind herself up.  Her tiny pink lips were a perfect bow shape and Cas couldn’t help but lean over and kiss them.  As his lips brushed hers, she lunged at him.  He nuzzled her chubby right cheek with his nose and she chased him with her mouth. She did the same thing when he nuzzled her other cheek as well.  It was like a funny little game to watch her search for the source of the feeling. 

“She must be starving,” Cas chuckled as he and Dean watched her funny little movements.

“It’s a feeding reflex called rooting,” Jo chirped in startling the enthralled parents. “She will look for your breast when you touch her cheek with it, try it later.”

“Oh,” they both replied in unison.

“You gonna have a _mad_ baby if you don’t change her soon and hook her up,” Jo informed them. 

“Alrighty then, “ Cas refocused them on the task at hand.  “I’ll take the lead and you assist with the supplies?” he proposed to Dean.

“You got it,” Dean nodded seriously, retrieving a diaper and the small package of wipes under the bassinet. 

Cas pulled back the tabs of the diaper on each side and looked inside with a bit of trepidation. It was just wet, thankfully, but definitely contained some new equipment. 

“Oh boy. Well, actually oh girl,” Cas’ voice was full of apprehension. “Do you have any idea how to do this, Dean?”

“Nope! Never seen one of those up close.  Buuuuut, that’s what Jo is for right, sis?” Dean posed.

“Oh, Eloise…you are gonna own these two!” Jo laughed.  “Pull the diaper down and tuck it under her buns, then wiper her off.  Always wipe front to back and be careful when she poops so you don’t wipe it _in_ anywhere it doesn’t belong.  Get another diaper under her quickly and pull it up and pull the tabs to close it. Be careful to fold the diaper away from her umbilical cord so it stays dry.  Now the trick is to do it all quickly so she doesn’t pee on the new diaper before you get it on.”

“Ready?” Cas asked Dean nervously. “Ready,” Dean said confidently. Cas smiled and they worked together, laughing at their shaky hands.  It was easier to picture changing a diaper than it was to actually change a wiggly squawking Eloise.  They finished just as she had had enough of her two newbie parents.

She cackled out a real cry and Cas picked her up and walked towards the bed with her to nurse. 

He held her in one arm as he carefully eased himself back and in a comfortable position.  Dean pulled the covers back and then up over his lap as Cas untied the robe and unsnapped the nightgown exposing his chest.  He settled Eloise with her head in his elbow and guided her to his breast. He tickled her cheek with his nipple and she surged at the source, finding what she wanted and latching on easily.  She opened and closed her mouth against Cas taking in big draws of what he had for her.  Cas wasn’t sure if his milk was in but she was getting something that satisfied her.  She scratched at her face while she nursed so he held her hand and he understood why the sleeves of her t shirt had been folded over them.  He glanced at the clock keeping track of the time so he knew when to switch sides. 

As she still nursed on the first side, the lunch trays came in.  “Thank God!  I’m starving,” Cas grumbled.

Dean pulled the table next to the bed and opened Cas’ lunch tray.  It contained a delicious looking chicken pot pie with puff pastry crust, a fruit salad, a whole wheat dinner roll, an oatmeal cookie, and a container of vanilla ice cream.  There was also hot herbal tea, milk and ginger ale. 

Cas edged himself further towards the center of the bed and Dean sat on the bed as well, facing him.

“Dean,” Cas started.

“Don’t say a word. I’m feeding you first, then I’ll eat.” Dean moved the tray to where Cas could reach all the drinks and then he began to feed Cas his lunch.  After the first few bites, Cas used his pinky like JO had taught him to remove the baby from his breast.  He gently burped her on his shoulder and then offered her the other side.  She eagerly nursed away and Cas felt a twinge of pain as she ate, causing him to cramp.  Cas wolfed his lunch down and encouraged Dean to eat his.

As he took in the simplicity of the situation, he knew one thing for sure, his little family, happily eating their first meal together was truly a sweet sight. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I look forward to your lovely comments.


	22. Give Me One More Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas' brothers arrive from out of town and Cas doesn't get to go home just yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhh, I'm trying to get them home I swear. I am having an internal struggle and need to work through it, so I am stalling with fluff.  
> Let me clarify a few things. I'm new to the fic writing process and I think sometimes I assume things that are abundantly clear to me are clear to the reader. If I were to try to include these things in current chapters, it would clog up the story. So I will clumsily spell them out here in my notes.  
> First, in this alpha/omega society, all omegas are expected to be caretakers and homemaker type individuals and those who give birth are called the mother, regardless of gender. It's an integral part the basis of the internal issue that Cas has with being an omega. He has never felt like he fit into that role. It is also part of Dean's issues because he does feel omega-like. He does not fit into the alpha role which is breadwinner/provider. I picture Mad Men when I think of the alpha/omega dynamic expectations in this fic.  
> Clearly I need to work on building background and my world a little more in my next fic. Part of this stems from the fact that this fic was only supposed to be an mpreg birth fic and about 4 chapters. Let's just say the horse got away from the driver here.  
> Cas' admission of his motherhood and calling himself Momma is his true acceptance of his omega status. He struggled his whole pregnancy fearing he would not feel like a mother to the baby. He realizes when she is born that he does feel bonded to her and she to him and he wants to nurse her and care for her. He interprets that as feeling maternal. In our world, both parents caring for the child and wanting to care for the child is typical. In this world, the omegas care for the children, the alphas do not. The Winchester clan do not generally fit this mold. Cas will struggle with this again as he recovers from the birth. As things settle down, he may come to find that Momma is not the right title for his role in Eloise's life and that may cause some angst for Dean who would love to be her mother. We shall see.

Cas was upset.  Dean knew it was partially at him for agreeing with Ellen about Cas staying one more night at the center.  He knew Cas wanted to go home, to be in his own house, sleeping in their bed and with Eloise in her bassinet and bumble bee nursery. But Cas had a rough go and Dean agreed with Ellen and Jo about one more night of rest.  “Cas,” Dean pleaded with his husband, “She’s not even twenty four hours old yet.”

Ellen justified the need to build his strength and milk supply and maybe have a bowel movement before he goes.  Cas had countered that he would get more rest in his own bed and that it would be easier to poop without all the scrutiny about pooping.  In the end Dean tipped him over the edge and he agreed to one more night on the condition that his discharge would be early morning, not afternoon.  Dean babied him as much as Cas would let him, mostly out of guilt for pressuring him.  However, Cas staying also indicated to Dean a sliver of apprehension on Cas’ part about leaving the safety net of the center. 

The two of them were getting pretty adept at diaper changing, thought the first time Eloise left them a diaper full of black meconium, it had nearly scarred them for life.  Cas’ milk was slowly building and when Eloise nursed now you could see the fluid at the sides of her mouth becoming more white at each session.  Cas was nursing her longer each time to encourage his supply so there would be no issues when they took their sweet girl home.  Basically, they were on a continual eat, sleep, diaper change cycle every two hours. 

Shortly before dinner a delivery of flowers came for Cas and Eloise.  Huge gerbera daisies in several shades of pink and white shasta daisies were arranged is an adorable white bucket covered with bumble bees. The card read: To My Brave Cas, I have no words to express my true feelings for all that you have endured to bring us our beautiful Eloise Grace.  Know that I love you both will all of my heart.  Dean.  As Cas sat in bed holding their baby and read the card, his eyes filled with tears and spilled over.

Dean climbed onto the bed facing Cas and wrapped Cas in his arms. They shared sweet, chaste kisses and then kissed Eloise and held each other till Cas’ tears passed. “Thank you, Dean. The flowers are lovely and the words are even lovlier,” Cas smiled through the end of his tears.  “I hate that I cry so easily lately,” then he laughed at his own comment.  Cas had decided that childbirth was an emotional rollercoaster of which you had no control.  He just made up his mind to let the experience pass through him like he had let the pain when he was in labor.

Dean put the flowers on the window sill as Cas’ phone rang.  “Hey Gabriel,” Cas answered. “Sure we’d love some dinner and company…No, whatever you want to bring is fine…okay great see you then.” 

“What’s Gabriel gonna bring us for dinner,” Dean asked rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

“He thought he’d bring a big pan of his chicken broccoli alfredo, so everyone that comes by can eat with us as well.  I’m assuming Jess and Sam will be by later, do you think?” Cas nuzzled Eloise as he relayed his conversation with Gabe. “Balthazar and Michael will be by tonight when their flight gets in.”

“Great, I can’t wait for them to see her,” Dean responded. Noticing the baby stirring in Cas’ arms, he offered to change her so Cas could get ready to nurse again.  “I’m sure Sam and Jess will be by for a little while at least.  Also, Jess has offered to come by when we go home to keep the laundry going and help out so we can spend time with Eloise.  You know, just like we did for them when Henry came.”

“That would be nice,” Cas confided as Dean changed her diaper and got her back to Cas who had the Boppy pillow in place and his robe and gown open and ready for hungry Eloise. 

About an hour had passed when Gabe arrived with a card table and dinner which he set up in one corner of the room.  The aroma of chicken broccoli alfredo penne pasta with salad and garlic bread quickly filled the room and Dean made a plate for Cas and himself.  Jess and Sam came in just as they were eating and passed by all the food to get their hands on their new niece. 

“Oh my God, I can’t get over how tiny she is,” squealed Jess as Sam looked over her shoulder at little Eloise. 

“I don’t know how you two managed to make such a pretty baby,” Sam teased his brother and brother in law. 

“That’s all on Cas. Just look at that hair and those baby blues,” Dean spoke through a mouth full of pasta. 

“Ha,” Cas retorted. “She has your perfect bow lips, Dean. Her itty bitty ears are yours too. Too bad about the toes, though,” he added.

“Oh Jesus Cas, you’re right about the toe thing, poor baby,” Sam snarked.

Eloise squawked as if in protest to the discussion of her toes, “Shut up about her beautiful toes,” Jess spoke in a soothing tone so she wouldn’t upset the baby any further.  She bounced and rocked the baby to settle her down.  Sam grabbed some dinner and they all visited and laughed, enjoying the baby and each other’s company.

 Cas finished his dinner and got up to head to the bathroom.  Dean moved to help him, but Cas waved him off and cautiously made his way on his own.  He was feeling much better and really wanted to go home tonight, but he didn’t want to really argue with Dean so he gave in and agreed to stay.  He was still bleeding quite a bit and cramping heavily when the baby nursed.  Another twelve hours or so would help all of that get better and he would feel even better when they were home on their own.

Dean was outside the door looking concerned when he came out of the bathroom.  “You okay?” he asked.

“Yes Dean, I’m fine,” Cas reached out to pull Dean closer into a hug. Dean hugged him tightly and Cas hissed as his chest pressed against Dean’s.  Cas pulled back and cupped his pecs with his hands.  “Wow, that was sore,”

“I’m so sorry, Cas,” Dean gently held his husband’s shoulders as Cas curled in on himself and waited out the discomfort to pass.  “Do you want to sit or-“

“Dean, it’s okay, you didn’t know. I didn’t know I was so sore either.” He righted himself as the pain passed and grabbing Dean by the back of the neck, he planted a kiss on his lips. “Maybe Jo’s right and I should put my bra on now.  I think maybe I’m starting to get more milk coming in.  God, you don’t think I will get boobs, do you?” He put his hands back on his chest, looking alarmed.

“Nah, you’ll just look like you need to work out,” Dean answered his husbands concern and fished through the small closet for Cas’ bra.

“Oh, great that will be a superb look on me.” Cas said flatly as Dean produced his bra. “Help me put this thing on.” The two men disappeared into the bathroom while the visitors ignored the loud giggles that erupted from the couple.

They emerged smiling and slightly red faced, Dean announcing, “ In the battle of the maternity bra and the small bathroom, Dean and Cas come out on top!”

“You had to be there,” Cas wiped his eyes and laughed.

He walked over to Jess and asked for Eloise, “Why don’t you eat with Sam. I’d like to rock with her for a while.”

He was about to make his way over by the bed to the rocking chair when Balthazar and Michael arrived. Well Michael arrived, Balthazar burst into the room, eyes wild and searching.  When they settled on Cas he called out to his brother, “Cassie, my sweet boy!” He dashed across the room to Cas and embraced him carefully, kissing him on the cheek multiple times. He released Cas enough to glance down at the sleeping baby and he became even more overwhelmed with emotion, “She is just beautiful Cas. You’ve done it. You’ve done so well little brother.  Gabe said you were absolutely brilliant. I’m so proud…” he teared up and could no longer speak but neither could Cas.  The two remained in the center of the room locked in a moment of brotherly love together. Cas rested his head on Balthazar’s shoulder, snuffling, trying to get his emotions in check. His brother kept his arms wrapped around him and rubbed his arms up and down his back.  “It’s just what we always wanted for you. First Dean, and now this little angel.” Balthazar said softly.  He laughed and lifted Cas’ face to look into his eyes, “Are you alright my sweet baby brother? You look good, tired, but good.”

“I’m better than good, Balt, much better.” Cas sniffed as Dean handed them both tissues.

Michael walked over, having given the two close brothers their moment together.  “Hello Castiel, you look very well, and she is very beautiful.” He hugged Cas gently and kissed him on the head, and nodding at Dean.

Balthazar stepped away and found Dean giving him an enormous hug.  Dean tried not to show how shocked he was. He had always been friendly with Cas’ family, but not so affectionate.  Balthazar whispered, “Thank you Dean, thank you,” he said squeezing Dean’s arms. “Gabe told us how wonderful you were with Cas during the whole birth and we cannot thank you enough for taking such good care of him.  We have been so worried about Cassie and we know he was not really himself with you lately either.  You have always been such a wonderful friend and of course husband to him.  We never doubted your love for him, but to hear Gabe tell the story…” Balthazar resumed his hug and kissed him on the cheek. “Anyway, enough of my blubbering. Congratulations, Daddy!”

“Thanks, Balthazar, but Cas did all the hard work,” Dean asserted, nodding in acknowledgment of Balthazar’s words to him .  Balthazar nodded back, a silent agreement between brother in laws.

Michael and Balthazar ate dinner as they had come right from the airport and after Bobby and Ellen showed up, it was practically a family reunion.  Cas eventually fed a fussy Eloise, Dean holding up a receiving blanket, giving Cas some privacy as he helped the baby latch on. He tucked the blanket over Cas shoulder while she nursed. It was a happy room full of family and laughter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for hanging in there and again I welcome your wonderful comments.


	23. The Long and Winding Road, or The Time When Dean Drove His Husband and New Baby Home From the Birthing Center

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas receives a visit from a certain fairy and Dean is a very careful driver!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's beginning to flow again and I am getting back into my comfort zone.

 

Cas was in the rocking chair, showered and eating breakfast. Eloise was in her grandpa’s arms walking up and down the hallway and Dean was finally in the shower himself.  It had been a long night.  At some point between going to bed at ten and getting up at least forty seven times Cas had been _visited by the titty fairy_ as Gabe had so profoundly put it. Both Gabe and Bobby had come to help Dean and Cas get home with everything they had accumulated in forty eight hours including one persnickety newborn.

Eloise had decided she would like to nurse nonstop and wasn’t going to be happy unless she was noshing away at Cas breasts. Cas was now feeling the results of this decision and was eating with one hand and holding icepacks on his chest with the other. 

During the night, Eloise cried every time Dean tried to put her in the bassinet and Cas cried every time she latched on. Dean wanted to cry too, but he didn’t get that luxury with the two people he loved more than anything in the world crying. Let’s just say nobody said it but they were all glad they had stayed one more night.  Finally, about two in the morning, Dean called Jo into the room and told her what was going on.  She told Cas to lay on his side to nurse Eloise and just let her sleep in between them between feedings.  It worked and they got two and a half glorious hours of sleep. They continued like that until nine when Gabe and Bobby arrived.  So much for going home early, they weren’t even out of bed yet. 

Cas was discouraged for the first time since having the baby and then Gabe made the titty fairy comment and that was all it took to send Cas over the edge. “Oh Jesus Cas, I’m sorry man. I didn’t mean anything…I shouldn’t have said that. I apologize, Cas, come on buddy,” Gabe hugged Cas who kept his hands over his sore chest and cried on Gabe’s shoulder.  “It’s okay, I’m just tired,” Cas bawled as Gabe looked at Dean guiltily. 

Dean ushered Cas into a hot shower and then a new gown as his breakfast arrived.  Gabe kept Eloise occupied with a binky. Cas and Dean had decided during the nighttime fiasco to try a pacifier that Jo offered. She said that Cas and Eloise nursed so well together it shouldn’t be confusing to her.  Currently Gabe was trying to fool her with it.  Cas emerged looking much more himself, but required several hugs from Dean to maintain his non crying status. 

Cas ate his breakfast quickly, still half sniffling tears and holding Gabe’s hand as Dean jumped into the shower and changed into the jeans and short sleeved henley that Bobby brought him from the house.  Jo brought him two moldable ice packs wrapped in receiving blankets to place against his aching chest. He held those with one hand and ate with the other.  Bobby had taken Eloise who could smell Cas if she was within ten feet and cried to nurse whether really hungry or not, out of the room to give her poor momma a break. 

Dean did not eat his breakfast tray, knowing that Gabe had food waiting for them at the house.  He opted to take everything out of the closet and drawers and put it on the bed in order to organize and pack their bags for home.  He put all of their laundry in a garbage bag that Jo had given him and put it by the door.  He organized all their personal items from the shower in the Ziploc bags they had brought them in and packed them.  He got our Cas’ going home outfit and the baby’s going home outfit and left them on the bed.  He took any cards and presents they had received and packed those.  The only thing left to do now was to get his two favorite people dressed and into the car to go home. 

He started with Cas.  Gabe left the room to give his brother some privacy.  Dean took Cas to the bathroom and offered him a pair of underwear and a new pad to put on. They grabbed the squirt bottle of betadine solution that Cas used to rinse off when he changed his pad to reduce infection.  Jo had told them to take that and use it another few days until the bleeding lessened.  They went back over to the bed and Dean helped Cas put on a fresh nursing bra and a blue nursing tee that Jess had given him at the shower.  The last thing he did was help Cas gingerly slip into a pair of maternity jeans. 

Dressed and ready, Cas looked down at his stomach and commented, “ I look as pregnant as I did when I got here.”

“No babe, you are a lot smaller than that,” Dean encouraged him as he gave Cas his Birkenstocks and placed their bag by the door.

Ellen knocked and entered the room holding Eloise and bringing the pediatrician in tow.  Dr. Garth Fitzgerald who had examined her when she was born had returned to discharge her.  Ellen discharged Cas first, giving him his postpartum care instructions and having him sign all the right papers. 

“It’s good to see you again Mr. Winchester,” he said looking at Dean ,and then turned to Cas and said  “and it’s very nice to meet you Mr. Winchester.  I’m afraid you were getting some very well deserved rest when I examined Eloise the first time.”

“Yes, I believe I was,” Cas answered, “It’s great to meet you, too.”

Well we examined little Miss Eloise out at the nurse’s station and she is doing just fine.  She has lost some weight after her birth but that is typical and nothing to be concerned about.”

“How much did she lose?” Cas asked nervously.

“She weighed seven pounds two ounces at birth and this morning she weighed six pounds four ounces, so she has lost about fourteen ounces,” Dr. Fitzgerald answered. “Not to worry though.  Your milk is probably just starting to come in strong and Ellen here tells me you are a natural nurser. She will be fine and we will keep an eye on her weight.  She is very healthy and I found no issues or concerns at birth or at this exam.  I will want to see her next door at my office in two days for a routine breast feeding weight check, okay?” He handed Cas a card with an appointment time of nine o’clock on Friday June 28th.  “We do welcome alphas to all appointments, but we do not require an alpha’s signature.  You’ll find we are a nontraditional pediatric practice, much like Ellen’s omega clinic here.  I would love to be your pediatrician if you haven’t already chosen one. If you choose to go a different route, Mr. Winchester, please be sure to do it within two days to get that weight check.”  He reached out to shake Cas’ hand then turned to do the same with Dean.

“I think we’ll see you in two days, Dr. Fitzgerald, and please call us Cas and Dean,” Cas gestured to himself and his husband as he spoke. 

“Alright then, Cas and Dean see you in two days with that beautiful girl of yours.  And I prefer Garth if that's alright with you.”  And with that he signed the discharge papers and went over care instruction for Eloise before leaving the room.

“You can get your little bumble bee dressed and head on home whenever you are ready,” Ellen directed them. “Gramma and Grampa will be by later tonight if that’s okay.”

“That would be great Ellen…I mean Mom,” Cas corrected himself.  “I really can’t than you enough for everything. You’ve been such a great midwife.  I hope you’ll deliver the rest of our pups when we have them.”

Stunned, it took Ellen a few seconds to answer, “Of course, Cas.  I will deliver as many as you need me to. You did a wonderful job and you are a natural with Eloise.  You should be proud, Momma.”

Ellen left the room and Cas turned to Dean who was trying to look busy and like he was trying not to cry and he approached him asking, “What’s the matter Dean, are you alright?

“Am I alright? Are you alright?” he laughed. “Did you mean it Cas? Do you really want more pups?” Dean asked eyes big and wet with apprehension. 

“Yes, Dean I meant it. I want more pups, lots more,” then added, “but don’t even think about getting near me anytime soon and be ready, because next time I’m really gonna be a loud and proud pregnant omega. Practice your massage techniques and present buying skills there alpha!”

Dean laughed out loud, “Okay Cas, anything for you, my love.” He kissed Cas firmly but tenderly and as filthily as he dared.

“Watch it there Daddy, not in front of the baby,” but he smiled a toothy grin that made his eyes crinkle at the sides. 

The two of them then proceeded to dress their little girl to go home.  Dean changed her diaper while Cas got the clothes ready. He noticed that the clamp was gone from her drying umbilical cord. Garth must have removed it when he examined her.  When she was diapered, they worked as a team putting on a yellow onsie t shirt, and a yellow nightgown with a buzzing bumble bee on the front. Next Cas put on a tiny knit hat that was also yellow and had a bee on it.  Dean put little yellow socks on her feet, much to her chagrin and she squawked in protest.  Finally Cas laid out a receiving blanket, also covered in bumble bees to swaddled her in.  He laid her gently on the folded down corner and took the right side of the diamond and tucked it over to the left side, then he brought up the bottom corner of the blanket and tucked it in to the first fold.  Lastly he took the left corner and wrapped it snuggly around the bundled baby and picked her up nuzzling her face to his.  Dean snapped continual photos on his phone.

Cas loved her swaddled up like this into a neat little package.  She easily fit in his two hands like this and she was so happy and snuggly.  Then she must have caught on and smelled her food source because she began to grunt and squeak, so Cas passed her to her Daddy to stop her from crying before they got home. 

Bobby brought in the car seat they had purchased and Ellen showed them how to buckle her into it safely.  They had to unbundle her and then tuck the blanket all around her.  Dean pulled a larger blanket out of the bag to cover her with as well.  He pulled up the sun shade and they were ready to go. 

Gabe and Bobby took all the bags and Cas’ balloons and flowers out to the cars.  Gabe brought the impala back and Bobby brought his truck.  Gabe had taken the impala to the local fire department to have the car seat base properly installed in the back seat.

Jo showed up at the room with a wheel chair and insisted it was policy for all mothers to be pushed to the door.  “It’s a longer walk than you think Cas and you should conserve your energy where you can,” She told him. He finally gave in and he hugged and kissed her sincerely before he sat down, thanking her for all of her kindness and the wonderful care she had given him.  The two were nearly in tears when Jo made a crack about his jug and handed him his water container. That brought them back to the moment.  Dean pretended he wasn’t crying again and kissed his sister as well. 

Jo pushed Cas and Dean followed down the hall, carrying Eloise in her car seat, and the little family was on its way home. 

Dean clicked the baby seat into its base on the passenger side in the back seat and then helped Cas from the wheelchair into the backseat on the driver’s side.  He sat gingerly, wincing as he twisted in the seat to pull his feet in the well of the car. Dean buckled Cas into his seatbelt ignoring the slight protest Cas had voiced. This would be their new riding arrangement until the baby could be placed in a forward position.  Cas or Dean would always ride in the back with her.  Dean drove because Cas felt more comfortable, no offense to Gabe he swore.  Dean inspected the baby seat twice before he would take his seat as the driver.  

Dean looked like a sixteen year old taking his driver’s test as he sat behind the wheel.  Gabe sat in the passenger seat taking photos on Cas’ phone.  Cas smiled and snickered as Dean checked every gauge and button on the dash and looked out every window and double checked every mirror position. When he finally put the car in drive, he glanced at Cas in the rearview mirror with eyes like dinner plates and said, “Here we go sweet baby girl.  Time to go home.  Cas you tell me if the road is too rough or if I need to slow down, okay?”

“Dean, love…we’ll be fine.  You’re a great driver, just go hon,” Cas giggled as he peeked at Eloise to see if she was still sleeping. 

With one, or more like ten, final checks for clear roads, Dean pulled the impala out of the circular driveway of the center and onto the main road.  He drove very slowly asking Cas if everything was okay and looking carefully around for any danger.  When everything was okay, he gained a little confidence he sped up to twenty miles as hour. It was nearly eleven and the late morning traffic passed him and gave dirty looks, though some saw the car seat and then smiled.  Dean white knuckled it until the first stoplight and then he warned everyone about the stop and put his right arm out in front of Gabe as he slowed at the light. 

“Hey Dad!  What’s with the arm of safety here? I’m older than you and I’m wearing a seatbelt. I know, you checked it three times,” Gabe teased his brother in law.

“I had to stop suddenly and you can never be too careful,” Dean chastised. “Everyone okay back there?”

Both Cas and Gabe rolled their eyes and the light must have turned green because the car behind them honked. “Jesus, hold your horses,” Dean muttered under his breath as he accelerated.   

A painful twenty minutes later, Dean pulled into the driveway of their home, apologizing profusely for the bump he hit. “It was the bottom of the driveway, Dean,” Cas reassured him.

Sure the car was in park after the third check, Dean jumped out of his seat and opened the door for Cas. He supported him under the arm as he stood and steadied himself.  Cas sent Dean around to get the baby in her car seat and even though he had practiced before they had her Dean panicked as he couldn’t release the seat from the base.  Gabe grabbed Dean by the shoulder and reached around him to remind him of the large red button behind the seat on the base.  Dean smiled sheepishly and released the seat. He hooked the seat over his elbow and threaded his fingers with Cas’ as they walked up to their front door. 

There was a pink balloon tied to the mailbox and a _Welcome Home_ _Bumble Bee_ sign on the front door.  Cas smiled and kissed Dean when he saw it.  Gabe had them turn and he snapped a picture of with the three of them and the sign.  Bobby had arrived before them and he was inside waiting with Jess. She had stowed their bags upstairs where she had put clean sheets on the bed as well.  The flowers from Dean were on the coffee table for Cas to enjoy and she had tied the balloons to one of the lamps so they wouldn’t float around. She and Gabe had put up a banner in the living room that said: _Congratulations Cas and Dean!_ and _Welcome Eloise Grace Winchester!_

Cas walked in first and kicked off his sandals as he walked towards the living room.  He smiled broadly as he saw the decorations and he thanked everyone profusely.  Dean brought the car seat into the living room after kicking off his boots.  He set it down on the couch and helped Cas unbuckle Eloise and lift her from the seat.  Cas swaddled the baby and placed her in the crook of his elbow.  Dean helped him sit in the large armchair by the couch and Cas sighed, “It’s really good to be home.” He looked down at Eloise and said, “Welcome home sweet little bumble bee, welcome home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you are enjoying and I welcome all of your lovely comments, as usual! Comments are food for the writer's soul!!!


	24. The Calm Before the Storm...Well the Calm before the First Storm of Many...Most Likely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little welcome home fluff and more icky details of normal things that happen after someone has a baby.

****

Cas sat holding Eloise for a few minutes until she started to fuss and then he decided they should try to put her in her bassinet.  Dean offered him a hand up but instead he passed the baby and got up on his own.  Dean rocked her sweetly as they stood by the bassinet, she was not due to feed for another hour and Cas needed the break from her vigorous suckling.  He made Dean swear to him in the middle of the night amidst the tears and frustration that he would not let Cas give up on nursing.  Jo and Ellen both said that the next two or three days would be hard, but if he could see the benefit through the pain, he would be glad later.

Truthfully, it was only when she latched on that it was painful.  Once his milk flowed and she was nursing, it was such a wonderful experience that Cas didn’t want to chance quitting in a moment of weakness.  He was having a lot of those lately.  He was never much of a crier.  Recently he seemed to cry at the drop of a hat, but Dean was so patient and assured him that it would pass as he recovered from having Eloise. 

Dean was satisfied that Eloise was down for the count so he laid her in the bassinet on her back, still swaddled tightly.  She startled a bit as he withdrew his hands, so he swung the cradle of the bassinet to rock her back to sleep.  Cas snapped pictures on his phone, remembering to turn off the flash.  She looked so small in the bassinet, a tiny beautiful bundle of sweetness.  Dean slipped an arm around Cas’ waist and Cas turned to embrace his husband.  He inhaled Dean’s scent of contentment and joy and tilted his head up to kiss his cheek, then his jaw and finally his lips.  They shared kisses just deep enough to really connect and let the events of the past few days sink beneath their skin. 

Jess came into the living room to find them and asked softly, “How about some sandwiches for lunch?”

“Sounds great, Jess. Thanks,” Dean answered for them. 

“Think she’ll be okay in here, alone?” Cas asked hesitantly.

“Oh my gosh, yes,” Jess assured him.  “Come eat and maybe get a little nap. You’ll hear her fine in the kitchen.”

Gabe and Jess had been busy in the kitchen.  There was a platter of sandwiches, a salad, and Gabe was just pulling a tray of chocolate chip cookies from the oven.  There were several batches cooling on the counter and Cas grabbed one and took a huge bite, closing his eyes as he chewed.

“Yum, these are so good. Thank you guys, this is great,” Cas said around his second bit of cookie. 

“God, I am starving,” Dean chimed in.  He helped Cas sit at the table and they all dug in to lunch.

Bobby came in from the back yard, where he had been watering the garden and flowers.  “Flowers all set, I’ll come by this weekend to mow the lawn for you,”

“You don’t have to do that, Bobby,” Dean told him, “Come get some lunch.”

“Well I know I don’t have to, ya idjit. Doesn’t mean I’m not gonna do it anyway” Bobby grumped back at him. 

“That’s nice of you, Bobby,” Cas accepted the offer for both of them.  “I’m sure by the weekend, we’ll be glad you offered.”

Bobby joined them after washing his hands and they enjoyed a quiet lunch looking through Dean and Cas’ phones at the photos they had been snapping over the last few days.  Jess suggested that Cas lay down on the couch before Eloise was ready to eat, even if it was only for about half an hour.  She gave him his water jug from the center reminding him to drink, and sent him to the living room. 

Dean went with Cas and peeked in the bassinet while Cas laid down on the couch.  She was still sound asleep, so Dean covered Cas with a blanket and laid down himself on the other end of their sectional sofa.  A power nap would be just the thing he needed after the events of last night.  It seemed so odd to sleep like this, without touching, so he winked at Cas who smiled back at him. 

“I love you Dean.”

“Love you too babe.”

Eloise took pity on her poor tired parents and slept an hour longer than they expected.  Her squawking and squeaking did not go unnoticed and both Cas and Dean got up when they heard her stir. Dean found a basket on the coffee table that had not been there before and figured Jess must have gathered them diapering supplies while they slept.  Also, Cas’ Boppi pillow was in the arm chair with a clean cover on it. 

Dean moved easier than Cas so he picked up the baby and brought her to the couch to change her.  “Hey there, pretty girl.  Daddy’s got you.  Yes he does and he is gonna change you so you can have some lunch with Momma.”  He unwrapped her as Cas nodded toward the bathroom and then made his way over.  Dean made quick work of the diaper which was wet with a little more meconium poo in it.  He got a clean diaper on her and picked her up quickly to avoid a complete melt down. 

“Deaaan,” Cas called from the bathroom, but his voice contained no alarm.

“Yeah, babe?” Dean answered as he walked towards the bathroom. 

“I don’t have any pads in here. Can you grab me one please?” Cas asked.

“Sure thing, Cas.”

Jess came out of the laundry room and offered to get it for Dean.  He told her there should be a few packages in the upstairs bathroom in the closet.  She was up and down the stairs quick and handed the package to Dean who was bouncing Eloise and trying to appease her. 

“Here honey,” Dean said as he entered the bathroom and passed the pads to Cas.  “Everything okay?”

“Yep, now I need the betadine squirt bottle.  Any idea where that went?” Cas inquired.

“Nope, but I will hunt it down, because this girl is starving,” Dean told his husband.

“Hey Jess-“ he bumped right into Jess who had retrieved the bottle Cas needed.

“Though Cas might want this,” she stated. “Thanks, Jess. You’re a doll,” Dean smiled at his sister in law.

He handed Cas the bottle and then left him to make sure they had everything Cas would need for nursing the baby.  Jess, of course, had all the bases covered with the Boppi, the water jug, a burping cloth and an extra pillow for behind Cas’ back. 

Cas emerged from the bathroom and made his way to the armchair.  He sat and put the Boppi around his waist, reaching under the flap of his nursing shirt to find the vertical slit opening.  He found the release on the left side of the bra and opened it pulling the front of the bra down under his breast to give Eloise lots of room to nurse.  He parted the slit opening and held his hand out for the baby.  “Ready babe, hand her over,”

Dean brought the baby to Cas and saw his poor raw looking nipple.  Cas tipped her onto her side and cupped her head with his hand to guide her to latch on.  She opened her mouth wide and began her tell tale searching, head bobbling back and forth seeking Cas nipple.  When she found it, she clamped down good and hard and nursed enthusiastically.  Cas visibly jumped and sucked in a breath as she did so. “Jesus fucking Christ,” he half whispered, half growled, scrunching his eyes shut against the pain. 

Dean cringed and grabbed the water jug, offering the straw to Cas. “Here babe, take a drink,” he said sympathetically.

Cas opened his eyes, located the straw and began to drink.  Dean kissed the top of Cas’ head and rubbed up and down his back, attempting to sooth his husband.  After a few good draws on his breast and a few swallows of the water, Cas began to relax.  His eyes were watery but he held his ground and looked down to talk to Eloise.  “You’ve got some mouth there bumble bee.  Is that good?” He adjusted his hold of her to nestle her in his elbow on the pillow that was wrapped around him.  With the other hand he moved the fabric of his shirt away from her face and then he checked her ear to make sure it was moving the right way to indicate a proper nursing position for her. “That’s a good girl, Eloise.  Momma will get better at this and not swear anymore.”

“Okay, Cas?” Dean asked as he leaned in and placed a kiss on his husband’s lips.  He felt Cas tremble, but didn’t say anything.  He knew Cas was trying to get through each feeding without falling apart.

“I’m fine, thanks for helping Dean. When she latches on I just get this flash of hot white pain.  It passes and now it doesn’t hurt at all, but holy shit…” Cas admitted as he picked up Eloise’s little hand. She wrapped her fingers around his thumb and he leaned down to kiss them.  He leaned his head against the back of the armchair and relaxed while Eloise nursed away. 

After a little more than five minutes, Cas used his pinky to break the suction Eloise had on his nipple and placed her up on his shoulder to burp her.  He patted solidly on her back until she burped and then he attempted to fasten up the left side of the nursing bra while Eloise began to fuss again.  Dean came back from the kitchen just in time to help Cas, “Here Cas, let me take her while you get fixed up,” Dean offered. “Here sweet girl, let Momma get ready, I know you’re a hungry girl…” Dean snuggled the baby up against shoulder kissing her fuzzy little head. 

Cas had gotten all closed up and now had the right side open so Eloise could finish nursing.  “Okay, ready when the piranha is,” Cas reached for her but spoke apprehensively. He cuddled her up to his chest and she went to town voraciously gulping milk from Cas breast.  Cas pressed the palm of his hand to his mouth suppressing any words trying to make their way out and moaned at the pain of Eloise latching on to him.    He managed not to squeeze poor hungry Eloise, though he didn’t know how. 

Dean sensed Cas’ worry through the tone of his voice and stuck close by to offer any help or encouragement Cas might need.  He winced as Cas did and turned to get the water for Cas to drink.  When he turned back around, Eloise was nursing, and Cas had his hand pressed tightly to his mouth.  Dean offered him a drink of water and Cas moved his hand to get the straw between his lips.  Dean saw that Cas was breathing heavily, almost panting and kissed his temple. “I’m sorry it’s so uncomfortable, sweetheart. Are you okay or can I get you something?”

“I’m fine, thank you Dean,” Cas answered trying to control his breathing.  He pulled Dean’s head onto his shoulder, hugging his visibly upset husband.  “I’m alright, Dean.  It will get better, you’ll see.”

Dean rested his head on Cas’ shoulder trying to be supportive and trying not to take from Cas, but it was hard.  He absolutely hated to see Cas suffer any more than he had already.  He tamped down his emotions and placed tender kisses all along Cas’ neck and jaw line hoping to help Cas feel better.  He could see Cas’ body begin to relax the more the baby nursed and he assumed she was getting plenty of milk now. 

“There, see? Once she gets going well, it feels fine, good actually. I feel almost too full and when she nurses, it really relieves that pressure. Huh, baby girl? Is that yummy?  Are you so hungry?” Cas cooed at Eloise as she suckled away oblivious to the ruckus she was causing.

Gabe and Jess came into the living room and sat on the couch looking like two people on a serious mission.  Gabe started, “I don’t know how you feel about this, but I think everyone in the family is planning on stopping by tonight.”

“We figured they would,” Cas indicated to his brother.

“Well, Jess and I thought we would cook burgers on the grill and make some salads and may be blueberry crisp with vanilla ice cream for dessert,” Gabe continued. 

“Yeah,” Jess added, “That way you and Dean could just visit and spend time with Eloise and we could do all the work.  We will even keep most of the dinner outside and the noise to a minimum.”

“Sounds great to me. How ‘bout you, babe? Cas looked to Dean for his opinion. 

“I’m fine with that as long as everyone understands that if Cas gets worn out, I’m putting him to bed,” Dean countered. 

“Okay then we’ll tell everyone dinner is at six,” Jess practically squealed.  “I can’t wait for Henry to meet her.  “Let’s count then?” Gabe began listing off family members. “Cas, Dean, you, Sam, Ellen, Bobby, Jo, Charlie, Balthazar, Michael and me for a total of eleven. Let’s run to the store and get what we need.  We can plan on the way there.  Do you want anything in particular buddy,” Gabe asked Cas.

“Lemonade punch like we had at the shower,” Cas closed his eyes as he thought about it.

“Geez, your easy to please,” Gabe teased him. “How about you Dean?”

“Burgers sound great to me,” Dean stated as the front doorbell rang.  “Who could that be?” he wondered, heading to the door.

He pulled the front door open to find Emily from the Motherhood store. She had a large box tied with a pink bow in her arms. Behind her was a young man carrying two more boxes with pink bows.  “Congratulations, Dean.  I hope your family is doing well.  I just stopped by to deliver all of the items that you and Cas had picked out for your daughter.  Jess told me her name is Eloise and I think that is the cutest name ever.”

“Well thank you Emily, that was very nice of you and we are really great. I mean Cas is really tired, but he was a trooper, ya know.  I’m so grateful and proud…Jesus, what am I doing, you’re holding a huge box.  Come in, please,” Dean stepped aside to make room for Emily and the young delivery helper. 

“Thank you, but I don’t want to intrude.  I just wanted to be sure you got all of the clothes and things you had on order. “

“Cas, it’s Emily with the girl stuff we picked out from Motherhood.” Dean shouted down the hall.

“Oh, great!” Cas answered Dean as he appeared in the living room with Emily in tow.  Dean took the box and put it on the coffee table and had the other two placed on the end of the couch.  Eloise was still nursing and Emily sent the delivery person back to the truck in the driveway. 

“How are you feeling Cas? I see you decided to nurse after all,” Emily commented keeping her distance out of respect for Cas’ privacy.

“I feel really good, but worn out.” Cas returned. “You can peek if you like, I mean you did fit me for my bras.  You’ve seen it all before,” he chuckled. 

Emily laughed and stepped over by the chair where Cas was sitting and smiled, placing her hand over her mouth as she gazed down at the nursing infant. “Oh, Cas…Dean, she is so beautiful.” She looked from the baby to the two men and back at the baby. “She is everything you deserve and more.”

Jess and Gabe who had been in the kitchen said hello to Emily and then made their way to head out to the grocery store.  “We’ll see you when we get back,” Gabe announced over his shoulder.

“Listen, I won’t keep you,” Emily said. “There is an itemized list from your order in the first box and I packed all three myself, so I know it is all there. Let me know if you are not completely happy or if you find you need something else, okay?”

“Thank you, Emily, for all of your help,” Cas said looking down at Eloise.  “Dean I think she is done. Will you come take her so I can show Emily the nursery, that is if you’d like to see it,” Cas directed his comment to Emily.

“Oh I’d love to if it’s not too much trouble,” Emily almost squealed.

“Here baby girl,” Dean spoke soothingly as he took Eloise from Cas. “Come and see Daddy for a little bit,”

Cas rehooked the cup of bra into the shoulder strap and got himself up and out of the chair, wincing slightly at the effort.  “This way Emily, you’re going to love what Dean has done with the room.” They walked upstairs to the nursery, Dean trailing behind with the sleeping baby. 

Emily loved the whole set up and told them so as she walked around the finished room.  Dean attempted to put Eloise in her crib for the first time and was successful.  She settled right in and Dean covered her with the quilt.  Cas patted her little bottom and the two men tiptoed our with Emily to see how long Eloise would remain sleeping in her beautiful nursery.  Emily thanked them for letting her see the baby and the nursery and left her card with them should they need anything else. 

As he shut the front door, Dean turned to Cas and smiled, “Let’s go see what’s  in the boxes.” He sounded like a kid in a candy store. The unpacked all the clothes and other items they had picked out for a girl and they even quietly put them away.  They had kept out two outfits, one said Daddy’s Little Girl, and the other said Mommy’s sweet girl.  And if they stood in the middle of the nursery staring into the white, round crib at their perfect little girl and shed a happy tear or two, no one had to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments are sooo welcome


	25. Too Much of a Good Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Eloise are overwhelmed and Cas' inner alpha reappears. Guess who pays the price...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little angst here. Not a ton, just a little.

Dean handed a fussy Eloise to Ellen so that he could wake Cas from his afternoon nap.  He tiptoed into their bedroom to find Cas snoring lightly and sleeping on his back.  It seemed very odd to see Cas sleeping in any position other than on his left side.  He couldn’t help but smile at his husband sprawled out on his back on their bed. He sat down next to him and leaned over placing gentle kisses along his jaw line.   “Hmmm,” Cas murmured as he stretched his arms over his head.

 “Hey there handsome,” Dean whispered in Cas’ ear. “There’s a hungry baby downstairs and she is looking for her momma.”

“What time is it?” Cas asked while he rubbed his eyes. 

“It’s a little after five,” Dean answered. “People will be coming for dinner soon; do you want to take a shower?”

“No, I’ll be fine and the baby hasn’t eaten for almost three hours, so I’d better get down there and feed her,” Cas said as he sat up and kissed Dean sweetly on the lips. 

Dean got up and helped Cas get up as well to head to the bathroom.  “I’ll be down in a minute, Dean. Make sure she’s changed and ready, okay?”

Dean headed downstairs to find Ellen walking with Eloise who was sucking on her fist and looking none too satisfied.  Cas came down shortly after and took the baby from Ellen to sit in the armchair to nurse her.  He actually asked Ellen to observe him nurse her so he could make sure everything was going well, and to make sure that it was okay that he was experiencing discomfort.

Ellen assured him that things were going well and that the pain would pass as his “nipples toughened up”.

Dean couldn’t help but wince as Ellen said that and he took it as his cue to check on things in the kitchen.  Gabe and Jess had made a platter of burgers to be grilled. There was also potato salad, macaroni salad and cole slaw, as well as a platter of lettuce, tomatoes and onions for the burgers. He could smell blueberry crisp in the oven and realized how hungry he was. 

Bobby appeared in the kitchen asking, “Got any of those chocolate chip cookies from before?  Cas is asking.” Gabe produced two of them on a napkin and handed them to Bobby. 

Jess was mixing the lemonade punch in the serving jug and asked Dean to help Sam carry in the beer when he arrived with Henry. 

Cas was still feeding Eloise when everyone started to arrive.  Sam came in with Henry and kissed Cas on top of his head letting Henry peek at the baby.  The baby boy blew raspberries at his new cousin and grabbed a handful of his uncle’s hair. ‘Hey there, Henry…careful with Uncle Cas,” Sam said untangling Henry’s little fist from Cas’ hair. 

Cas laughed at his nephew and brother in law which Eloise decided was disturbing and she unfastened herself from Cas and squawked at the ruckus.  Cas lifted her to his shoulder and fastened his bra closed and pulled the flap of his nursing shirt back into place.  He tossed the burping cloth on his other shoulder and switched her over and started to pat her back. 

Michael and Balthazar were the next to greet Cas and the baby while Dean and Gabriel grilled the hamburgers out back.  Shortly after the two brothers, Jo and Charlie showed up and theirs was officially a full house. 

Cas was a little apprehensive about so many people holding Eloise, but he was trying to be diplomatic about it.  He felt the Alpha side of him rise up a little, so he took her outside to find Dean.  He wrapped one arm around Dean’s waist from behind and leaned in to ground himself with his husband’s scent.  Dean smelled Cas’ worry and concern and turned to pull his little family into a hug.  “You alright, hon?”

“Everyone wants to hold her and I don’t think I’m ready for that,” Cas answered into Dean’s neck. 

“No one will be upset, Cas.  You don’t have to let everyone hold her,” Dean reassured him. 

“I just see people as germs, you know? I feel growly when they get near her,” Cas confided to Dean

“I feel protective, too. Don’t worry about it.  I’ll spread the word,” Dean said as he rubbed Cas’ back and kissed their sweet baby.

“I love you Dean.  I really, really love you,” Cas told his husband between kisses. “I know,” Dean chuckled.

The burgers were soon done and plates were made.  It had begin to rain a little, so much to Dean’s dismay, everyone had to be inside.  Their house was not tiny, but it just felt to Dean like everyone was on top of each other. He could sense Cas’ discomfort as people offered to take Eloise while he ate. 

He and Dean put her in her swing, reassuring their family members that she would be over stimulated if they passed her around too much.  But when Michael and Balthazar reminded Cas that they were leaving in the morning, Cas had a hard time not letting them hold her. Soon she was being passed around exactly the way that Dean and Cas had hoped to avoid.

The noise level climbed as the food was cleaned up and dessert was served. The dining room table had been set up with the board game Clue and Jess, Sam, Michael, Balthazar, Jo and Charlie were laughing and generally being loud. Dean had managed to get Eloise back into her swing when the game started and he, Cas, Bobby, Ellen and Gabe sat in the living room watching her and talking.  She startled a few times as the group around the table laughed a little too loudly.

It was going on eight o’clock, time for her to nurse again when she began to fuss in the swing.  Dean pulled her out and gave her to Cas who sat in the armchair.  Cas snuggled her and she smelled like too many other people at the party for him and that set him on edge.  He rubbed his hands up and down her back attempting to return her to smelling like him again.  She began to cry in earnest and Dean could sense that Cas was upset and it was spreading to Eloise. 

Dean offered to change her for Cas who reluctantly handed her over even though it was to her father.  He changed her quickly and Cas got settled with the boppi and a pillow behind his back.  Just as Eloise was about to latch on, someone won the game and the dining room erupted with cheers and boos. They noise scared the baby who began to cry and was too upset to nurse thought Cas tried to encourage her.  Ellen began to offer advice to Cas to help him with Eliose.

The group came in from the dining room and joked with Cas about pinching the baby to make her cry.  Cas tried to get her attached and nursing, but she was clearly too worked up.  Dean tried to quiet everyone and Sam corrected him, “Better she gets used to our noise now and learns to deal with us, right?” everyone laughed but Cas and Dean and poor Eloise. 

“I think Bumble Bee and I need some quiet time upstairs,” Cas said looking around at the chaos.

“No, everyone needs to quiet down. You shouldn’t have to hide upstairs to feed her. Come on, you guys, give Cas and the baby a break,” Dean chastised the noisy group, who finally realized they might have unintentionally created a problem.

Cas was trying to close his shirt and get up, so Dean took the screaming baby as Cas stood up out of the chair.  He could tell that Cas was teetering on the edge and had enough for the night. They made their way to the stairs where Cas said to Dean, “I’ll take her now, you entertain the mob.” He reached for wailing Eloise but Dean indicated that he would carry her up and go with them. 

“You don’t need to, I’ll just go nurse her and put her down in the crib.  One of us should stay down here.”

“Let me help you get upstairs and settled, Cas.” Dean offered.

“We’ll be fine Dean, please, she needs quiet and I need to get her fed,” Cas implored pulling the baby from Dean’s arms as it started to occur to him that Cas didn’t _want_ Dean’s help.

“I know what she needs, Cas,” Dean tried to reassure Cas over the bawling baby, who had begun to choke she was crying so hard.

That’s when Cas felt something primal and maternal snap, “I knew this would happen! I hould have trusted my instincts on her being passed around! If you know what she needs, then you know that she needs to eat right now.  She has had enough and she needs _me!_ We need to go upstairs and have some peace and quiet, alone!”

The whole house quieted at Cas’ shouting. Dean stood there at the bottom of the stairs, stunned. Somehow he managed to speak softly, eyes dropped to the floor, “Okay Cas. If you don’t want me to help, I won’t.”

“Dean, I didn’t mean it like that…” Cas rubbed his forehead, clearly frustrated.

“Go Cas, go feed her,. I’ve got my cell if you need anything, just call,” Dean told him gently and turned to leave Cas to take care of Eloise.

Dean felt himself redden with embarrassment as he passed though their families and he headed to the back door and out onto the deck.  It had stopped raining at some point though the grass was wet under his bare feet. He stopped by his flowerbeds fighting to gain control of his emotions.  He knew that Cas didn’t mean to sound so harsh, so alpha.  It was loud and he knew Cas was struggling and the baby was crying and he shouldn’t have argued when she was. Maybe Cas did know better than him. No, that was stupid, it had just been a long day for all three of them and Dean would not hold it against Cas.

He heard the back door open and dreaded anyone coming to try to talk to him.  He wasn’t sure he could hold it together.

“Dean, I’m sorry,” Gabe spoke to him from a distance, probably sensing the discomfort billowing out of Dean. “You didn’t deserve that and I am not going to defend my brother’s behavior.”

Dean shook his head in a warning, “Don’t Gabe, don’t say anything unkind about him.  I know he didn’t mean it.  He’s tired and been through a lot and she was crying,” Dean choked out the words.

“Okay Dean, I just need you to know that what he said was harsh and you’re a good husband and father, and he knows it. That was just not fair,” Gabe stated quietly. “He alpha’d you in front of all of us and-“

“I get it Gabe, I get it,” Dean cut him off.  “Tell everyone I just need a minute, please?”

“Sure, Dean, sure,” Gabe answered as he turned to go back to the house.

Dean wiped his hand down over his face. He would wait. Cas would call..he hoped.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are welcome and adored!


	26. Maybe We Should Have a Plan...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas wants to talk to Dean and the family spends their first night alone!

Cas sat in the nursery rocking Eloise and finally nursing her.  She had taken a while to relax she had been so worked up, and Cas reeking of guilt hadn’t helped, at all.  He hated himself for what he had said to Dean.  What kind of an asshole projects his anger onto his husband for his own stupid decision? Cas had been so quick to have everyone over the first day they were home when he had no idea how he would feel with his sweet baby girl around other people.  Well, he had figured out pretty quickly that he didn’t want anyone but he or Dean kissing her face and little bitty hands. And Dean had basically held Cas and comforted him throughout his entire labor and delivery without so much as one grumpy word or a thought about his own discomfort.  At the first sign of stress, Cas shit on Dean verbally, in front of both of their families, with every regard for his own feelings and no regard for Dean’s.  Apparently Cas was that kind of asshole.

Eloise fussed as Cas’ thoughts got him feeling more agitated. He patted her bottom and shushed her so she would continue to nurse. Dean was going to need more than a pat on the bottom to feel better.  Cas wondered how long Dean would put up with his shit if he could not control his frustrations and deal with them properly.  Well, he would have to start with an apology and go from there. The hurt he heard in Dean’s voice and the way he dropped his eyes to the floor was painfully fresh in Cas’ mind. 

The baby had been eating for well over thirty minutes, so Cas broke the suction and burped her on his shoulder.  He rocked her drowsy and placed her in her beautiful crib, covering her with her bumble bee quilt.  He dimmed the light and sat back down in the chair to text Dean. 

**_Can we talk?_ **

**_Up there or down here?_ **

**_Your choice?_ **

**_Up there._ **

Dean had answered quickly, and Cas was relieved. Maybe he could apologize and Dean would forgive him for being an ass when they were supposed to be enjoying Eloise.

Dean’s phone went off in his hand indicating a text and he whipped it up willing it to be Cas.  Thank god he thought as he answered. He would meet Cas upstairs. He would not make him walk the gauntlet of family members who probably all felt like Gabe and didn’t like the way Cas had spoken to him.  He didn’t give a shit what they thought.  They way Cas treated him was his business. Cas was venting his frustrations, that was all. 

During the time he had waited and hoped Cas would call, he had thought about the situation, a lot. They should never have had everyone over and Dean knew that. They needed time to be a little family and figure things out for themselves.  Maybe have people drop off food or do a load of laundry and leave, but not a party. This was Dean’s fault for not listening and protecting Cas and Eloise like a good alpha, a real alpha. This was the part of their relationship that needed refining.  They had figured out a system when they mated and married and they were perfect together, but the pregnancy and baby had sent them sailing off in to uncharted territory once again.  Dean would apologize for not planning better and for the mess he had caused and hopefully Cas would forgive him. 

Dean opened the door and walked through the kitchen and into the living room to head up to Cas.  Everyone stopped talking and looked at him like a kicked puppy.  He felt himself redden and passed through silently ignoring the looks of pity.  He started up the stairs and felt his stomach lurch with nerves.  When he made it into the nursery where Eloise lay sleeping and Cas sat in the rocking chair, he dropped to the floor and buried his face in Cas’ lap, apologizing, “I’m so sorry Cas.  I should never have let everyone over. I should have taken better care-“

“Dean,” Cas interrupted with a tone of disbelief. “You don’t think I expected an apology, do you?”

Dean looked up at Cas and couldn’t help but say, “I shouldn’t have argued with you, I should have just listened to what you were telling me and let you take the baby upstairs.  We would have avoided the whole fight.”

“Jesus Dean, I treat you like shit after all you did for nine months and through Eloise’s birth and you think you owe me an apology? Dean Winchester, you are a loving and caring man and the most wonderful husband in the world and I do not deserve you.”

“Don’t say that Cas,”

“Dean I am the one who is sorry. I had no right to speak to you the way I did.  You were just trying to help. I should have told you how I felt earlier this evening.  Either way, I know I embarrassed you in front of your whole family and made you think the Eloise didn’t need you and that wasn’t right or fair to you.  I am sorry Dean, I am truly sorry and I love you.”

“Cas, I love you too.  You don’t need to apologize. I know you didn’t mean it. I could see it on your face when you said it. If you can’t vent to me, who can you vent to?” Dean softly told his husband.

Dean was kneeling in front of Cas who was still in the rocking chair. “Venting my feelings doesn’t mean I can stomp on yours, Dean. You need to call me on this shit, and please let me make it up to you. What can I do, Dean?”

“Just hug me for a minute?” Dean said as he leaned in to put his face in the crook of Cas’ neck. “Just don’t be mad at me, I thought you were mad at me.”

“I’m not mad at you, love and I am really sorry I made you think I was,” Cas whispered sincerely into Dean’s ear. He held Dean and rocked ever so slightly scratching the hair on the back of Dean’s head.

After a few minutes of soaking in Cas, Dean kissed his way up his neck and jaw and finally placed a chaste kiss on Cas’ lips. 

“Let’s go downstairs so I can apologize to our family. They need to know that you deserved better than how I treated you tonight.”

“No Cas, let’s just-“

“Dean, I love you, but you would let me walk all over you to keep me happy, even at your own expense.  I was wrong and I owe them an explanation at least,” Cas insisted.

The couple peeked at their sleeping baby and proceeded downstairs to their families, who had been torn between listening and not listening to the hushed voices upstairs.

Cas apologized to everyone in the living room and could see the relief on their faces. They also told Cas and Dean that they were guilty as well for overstaying their welcome and overwhelming the new family.  They talked about some ground rules and agreed that they would give the couple some time to get adjusted to their new addition.  They made a list of family members who would be on call if they needed anything and Ellen, Jess and Gabe made plans to rotate bringing dinner and keeping the fridge stocked for a week.  Cas and Dean were grateful and they all visited for a little while until Dean sent everyone home so Cas could go to bed. 

Michael and Balthazar said their goodbyes and left first, promising to fly back into town in a few weeks.  Gabe left with his brothers, promising dinner tomorrow night.  He told them where to find the leftovers for lunch and hugged them both before going.  Next Charlie and Jo left, offering to come in the night if they were needed.  Ellen, Bobby, Sam and Jess with Henry left last, making sure the men were ready for their night alone with the baby.

When the door closed for the last time, the two embraced and enjoyed the silence.  The house was completely clean, at least their families had left everything tidy and neat. They went back into the living room to regroup and prepare mentally for the night ahead.  It was almost ten, so they decided to head up and get ready for bed. 

Cas went to use the bathroom and brush his teeth before climbing into bed.  Dean then did the same and crawled into bed with Cas.  They laid in bed together not quite sure what to do.  It was so strange to think that they had a baby lying in the crib in the nursery.  They looked at each other and laughed.

“Maybe we should have a plan here, Daddy,” Cas said as he laughed.  “She should be up to eat around ten.  We change her and feed her and try to sleep for another two hours, then repeat at twelve, two, four, and six?”

“Sounds like a plan to me, Momma!  Let’s just lay here and nap until she wakes. Then I will change her in the nursery and bring her to you so you can feed her in bed, alright?” Dean offered.

“Alright, good.  Hey I think I should get my water jug so I have a drink when I nurse,” Cas told Dean as he sat up to get out of bed.

“No babe, you stay in bed and try to sleep in case she doesn’t get right up at ten.  I’ll get the jug for you,” Dean said tucking Cas back into the covers with a kiss. He hopped out of bed and tiptoed down the stairs to fill Cas drink jug.  When he returned, he had Cas drink some water and then they turned out the lights to sleep. 

Cas heard Eloise first. They had not put on the monitor, so she was near a full cry when Cas heard her.  He sat straight up and nudged Dean, “Dean, she up, she’s crying!”

Dean jerked awake and flung his feet over the side of the bed until he woke up enough to stand, “I’ll get her babe, she’s okay. We gotta put the monitor on this time.” He walked out of the room quickly heading for the nursery.  Cas followed behind him, foregoing the plan to wait until Dean brought her.

They reached the crib and Dean picker her up while Cas turned on the small lamp on the dresser.  It gave them enough light to change her but not to shock her from the pitch black she had been in.  “Hey there baby girl, Daddy’s gotcha.” Eloise settled to a hungry grunting sound as Dean bounced her on his shoulder and walked the few steps to the changing table. The second her laid her down she pushed out her bottom lip and then opened wide to let out what Dean could only describe as a holler!  He unwrapped her quickly and Cas got him a diaper and a wipe so he could change her just as fast.  

She was still in the nightgown they brought her home in so he pulled it up around her  waist and unsnapped the  onsie to get to the diaper. He pulled everything up high behind her and unfastened the tabs of the diaper.

“Oh my goodness, Eloise what did you make for momma and Daddy?” Dean asked in his best baby voice. Cas peeked over the baby to see what Dean was talking about. It was a mustard colored mess in the diaper that must have been her first real poop.

“Oh my, sweetheart,” he said as he kissed her reddening head. “At least it doesn’t smell like it looks,”

“Yeah, it doesn’t smell bad at all, but geez Eloise!  That is some mess!” Dean began to wipe down her little bottom. He held her little feet up in the air and cleaned her off.  “Cas, come around here and help, it’s everywhere.”

Cas took the dirty wipe and handed him another one.  Dean let go of her feet and tried to wiper her little fat leg folds.  She was flailing and crying and it was harder than it looked on YouTube. Finally he bit the bullet and wiped all the girly parts and made Cas check that she was clean.  He handed Cas all the dirty stuff and slid a diaper under her little butt quickly and fastened it.  He pulled her onsie back down and snapped it shut, then lowered her nighty and picked her up. “Sorry baby girl, I took too long.  Daddy will be faster next time.” Dean bounced her on his shoulder as they walked her to the bedroom.

Cas eased himself back into bed and sat up against the pillows at the headboard.  He reached for the baby as he reached into his shirt to unclip the flap of his bra.   He got everything open and holding her head in his palm, matched her up to his breast. She latched on immediately and he hissed a little, but was relieved she wasn’t upset anymore.  “That’s momma’s girl. Sorry that took so long.” He soothed and patted her to help her relax.  “Dean, can you hadn me the water and run down and get the Boppi pillow for me?”

“Sure babe,” Dean answered and handed the jug to Cas. He trotted downstairs to get the pillow.  He hooked it around Cas’ waist as Cas lifted his elbow up to make room for the pillow. 

“Thanks hon, that really helps my back,” Cas said as he rested Eloise back on the pillow. “Boy she’s really getting good at this. Look at her go at it.”

Dean crawled in bed and sidled right up to Cas looking down at Eloise suckling away. He kissed Cas on the cheek and brushed his fingers through the fluffy hair on the baby’s head.  “God she is so beautiful, Cas. You are such a good Momma to her. Thank you…for her, for everything.”

“I love her Dean, I can’t imagine not having her, you know?” Cas sniffed as he spoke and held her little hand while she nursed away.

“You don’t have to worry, she’s here and we are gonna take good care of her and love her forever,” Dean said kissing Cas sweetly on the mouth.  The sat in the dim lamplight of their bedroom as Eloise nursed.  After Cas switched her from the first side, he laid down to nurse her and Dean made a little safety zone around her so when she fell asleep, they could too.  Dean wrapped his arm over Cas’ hips and carefully pulled him a little closer. He kissed Cas on the forehead and then Eloise, who lay between them and watched over them as they all fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always welcome and cherished. I love to hear from you. I am trying to incorporate some of the suggestions people have made, for example, first poopy diaper!


	27. Better Out Than In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean spend their first day alone with Eloise. Dean helps his two favorite people through their potty issues!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another of the glamorous things that must occur after giving birth is going to the bathroom for the first time! Also, babies can poop loud, it's a fact.

Dean woke at a little after eight in the morning to a sleeping Cas and Eloise between them.  Cas had a protective hand on the baby’s tummy, like a built in monitor for when she stirred.  Dean carefully extricated himself from the bed and grabbed clean boxers, jeans and a t shirt, making his way to the shower.  He turned on the water as hot as he could stand it and climbed in under the spray.  He was tired, but not as tired as he thought he would be this morning. 

The night had gone pretty well.  Eloise had awoken and nursed at eleven, one thirty, three thirty, and six, and they had gotten changing her down to about 5 minutes.  Dean and Cas switched sides of the bed each feeding so that on the second breast, Cas could nurse her and she would be between them.  At first, at the center, Cas had been concerned about keeping her in their bed at night, but given the choice between repeatedly trying to put her down in a bassinet and having her cry or having her fall soundly asleep after nursing on the second side, Cas was on board.

Dean quickly washed his hair and gave his body a quick soaping and rinse and then shut the water off and stepped out of the shower.  He toweled off and dressed before brushing his teeth and deciding not to shave.  He peeked in at his husband and new baby and couldn’t believe how lucky he was.  They were so beautiful lying there snuggled together in bed, blissfully relaxed.  He was going to be sure to help Cas have a relaxing day and that began with a nice breakfast.

Dean got to work, looking through the fridge for ingredients to make a substantial breakfast.  He wanted Cas to have the calories and nutrition he needed to build his milk supply so Eloise would gain her birth weight back but also so he could maybe start pumping.  When the baby got a little older, Dean wanted to maybe be able to give her a bottle once in a while.  He loved watching Cas nurse her, but he wanted to feed her and bond with her a little more himself. 

Gabe and Jess had stocked the fridge well and Dean found refrigerator biscuits, ingredients for spinach and mushroom omelets and bacon.  He started the bacon sizzling in a pan and mixed eggs and half and half in a bowl.  He popped the biscuits in the oven and threw the eggs in the pan.  He figured omelets would hold better in a warm oven so he could help Cas get cleaned up and ready for their first whole day home together.  The omelet was just ready to be divided and put on plates when he heard Cas upstairs. He turned the pan off and moved it to a cold burner and went trotting up the stairs. 

He found Cas sitting in the nursery, rocking Eloise in the chair and feeding her. The baby rested on the Boppi pillow and her head was nested in his elbow his arm clutching down her body holding her close to him.  His other hand held a crumpled tissue and covered his eyes. 

“Morning Cas,” he said softly and approached his husband placing his arm over Cas arm holding the baby.

“Morning,” Cas croaked out, with a tear laden voice.  “Isn’t she beautiful, Dean?”

“She is, sweetheart.  She looks just like you.” Dean brushed the hair off Cas’ forehead and leaned in to kiss him there when Cas tilted his head up to accept the kiss on his lips instead.  His eyes were red and he had been crying for sure. Dean kissed him firmly on the mouth which Cas returned and then Dean asked, “Babe are you alright?”

Cas smiled and answered, “Yes, I’m fine. I just feel…I just…” Before Cas could finish his statement, his eyes filled with tears and spilled over. He took his free hand and placed it over Eloise fluffy black hair as sobs wracked his body and he held her closely but tenderly to his body.  He leaned his head toward Dean touching his forehead to Deans chin, clearly seeking his touch.  Dean, concerned for Cas, moved closer so Cas could rest his head into the crook of his neck. He held his husband and daughter and let Cas have some time before he tried to find out what was wrong. 

After a few minutes, Cas’ sobs settled into snuffling and he lifted his head. “She needs to burp,” he choked out breaths coming roughly.  He picked her up and onto his shoulder patting her back firmly but gently. Cas looked at him and Dean thought he looked okay, but would wait until Cas settled the baby to ask.  Eloise burped and Cas laid her down to nurse her on the other breast.  When she was nursing away, Cas glanced up at Dean and gave a small smile.  Dean took that as his invitation to ask.

“Cas, why are you upset?” Dean asked gently. “Are you alright?’

“I’m not upset,” Cas laughed as he said it. “I’m really fine. I just woke up and she was laying there so sweetly.  She opened her eyes and looked at me. Dean she looked right at me, like she knew who I was and all these feelings just…flooded into me and I couldn’t hold it in.”

“Oh Cas, I love you,” Dean wiped Cas’ tears with his thumbs as he cradled his face in his hands. He kissed Cas sweetly on the lips. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine Dean. Actually I really want a shower and something to eat.  I’m starving and I smell like sweat and sour milk,” Cas smiled as he looked down at Eloise.  “I’m not sad, Dean and I know that sounds strange when I was crying.  I’m just…emotional, I guess”

“You’re a hormonal maniac, Cas Winchester and I have omelets, bacon and biscuits downstairs.”

“And, you’re an ass, Dean Winchester. Take your daughter and let me have 15 minutes to myself and I’ll be a new man,” Cas shot back at his husband. 

“You bet, babe,” Dean kissed Cas as he took the baby from Cas and headed toward the door. “You want any help?”

“No, thanks. I just want hot water and clean clothes,” he said getting up and following Dean out of the nursery. 

Dean took Eloise downstairs, put her in her swing and started the motor.  He resumed his work in the kitchen plating up the food and placing them in the warm oven to stay hot until Cas was ready. He made some tea for Cas and a cup of coffee for himself.

He heard the water go on and run for a long time.  He was just going to check on Cas when the water turned off, so he gave Cas the benefit of the doubt and stayed downstairs. Cas had asked for time alone and Dean was going to listen to his needs, so help him.  He couldn’t resist a verbal check, however.

“Cas, babe? How are you doing? Breakfast is ready.”

“I’ll be right down, hon,” Cas answered. “Baby still sleeping?”

“I’ve got her in the swing so we can eat with both hands like big people,” Dean announced up the stairs.

“Ha ha, great idea, babe,” Cas chuckled back.

Cas came down a few minutes later and he and Dean sat down to eat at the table in the kitchen. “I feel bad that she is in the other room,” Cas murmured.

“She’s asleep Cas, enjoy your food.  If she wakes up. I’ll grab her.”

Dean had tea, a glass of juice and his water jug. He was always making sure Cas was drinking enough.  He also had Cas’ vitamin and stool softener that Ellen had prescribed.  Cas swallowed the pills then scarfed down his breakfast.  He was starving and happy to have his arms free while he ate.  He drank a large glass of orange juice and Dean poured him a glass of apple juice.

Dean had read online that apple juice would help Cas go to the bathroom.  Cas had Eloise on Monday night and it was Thursday morning. Cas had yet to have a bowel movement since having the baby and Dean was worried for him.  He didn’t want it to be a problem, so he was giving him lots of poo friendly foods and drinks. 

“Let me help with the dishes, Dean,” Cas offered, getting up from the table. 

“No way, Cas.  You have a little time to do something you want before she needs to eat again.  Take advantage of that,” Dean said as he cleared the table and loaded the dishwasher. 

Cas went in to the living room, checked on the baby and then laid down on the couch.  He would nap anytime he could.  Last night had gone better than both of them planned, but it was still not solid sleep and Cas was really tired.  He also recognized that crying like he did this morning sucked the energy out of him as well.  He planned on getting at least an hour nap before the baby woke, again. 

Cas didn’t remember falling asleep but the next thing he knew, Dean was waking him up and laughing.  “Cas babe, you gotta wake up and hear this.”

He sat up on the couch feeling pretty good. Dean was still in the armchair laughing and farting. “Jesus Dean, what the hell, you’re holding our daughter while you do that.”

“That’s not me Cas, that’s you sweet little girl!” Dean was nearly hysterical and then the loud noise happened again.

 Cas got up off the couch and walked over to Dean and Eloise.  Sure enough she would screw up her little face, grunt and then a barrage of horrible little half liquid, half air sounds left her dainty little bottom.  “That is not going to be pretty, Dean,” Cas stated as Dean continued to giggle.

“I actually filmed some of it,” he snorted.  “You should have seen her funny face when she started.  The sound scared the shit out of me at first, no offense Eloise,” He said as he looked down sympathetically at his daughter.  “I had to look it up online to make sure she wasn’t broken or something. Hooo,” Dean tried to calm down but clearly found the situation beyond amusing. 

“I’m kinda jealous,” Cas said, “I hope it’s that easy for me when I go.”

“Well, it’s almost ten and she is going to be starving after this, but I think we should give her a bath this morning. What do you think about that young lady?” Dean asked her as he kissed her nose. She tried to eat him with her little bird mouth.

“I think after that she is going to need a bath for sure. Is it normal for her to sound like that?” Cas asked.

“The internet said it was common for breastfed babies to have loose stools,” Dean stated matter of factly.

Cas picked Eloise up and kissed her cheeks before settling her on his shoulder, “Well it’s not very lady like there Miss Eloise.”

Dean was half way to the laundry room to gather the bath stuff they had stored there. “Don’t you worry baby girl.  You tell your momma, better out than in.”  He dropped the bath stuff off in the kitchen and the went up and got her a clean diaper, onsie, nightgown, socks and receiving blanket.  They met in the kitchen.

Cas had laid her down on the counter on the regular towel Dean had brought for padding.  He had her nighty and t shirt off and her socks as well.  He was opening the diaper and wiping as Dean filled the baby bath with warm water.  He opened the baby wash and got a washcloth ready.  They had read about bathing.  There was a method to it all.  You washed the face and head before you put them in the tub so you weren’t using bottom water to wash later. 

“Oh my goodness, Eloise,” Cas laughed as he attempted to wipe her clean.  Dean finished getting the supplies ready and came over to help.  They cleaned off as much as they could with wipes and then Cas used a washcloth to start washing her face and fuzzy head.  Once the upper part of her was clean, Cas decided to soap her up completely and then put her in the bath to rinse off. Unfortunately, once the air hit the wet parts, Eloise no longer agreed with the plan and began to cry. 

Cas had her by the back of her neck carefully supporting her head and moving her around to soap up the dirty areas. He lifted a wailing Eloise into the bath trying to keep her umbilical cord out of the water and Dean used another cloth to rinse her off.  She continued to cry and squirm her objections while the two men tried their best to clean her off quickly.

“Poor Eloise, Momma and Daddy are trying to hurry.  Oh Dear, poor girl.” Cas cooed at her.

She’s alright Cas, “Aren’t you Eloise, you’re okay. You are almost done. I think she is rinsed off Cas.”

Cas tried to lift her to the new baby towel Dean had laid out on the towel when Cas put her in the tub. “Jesus, she’s as slippery as snot, Dean.” Cas wrapped her in the towel and picked her up to calm her. He rocked her and bounced her and she did settle down a little. 

He put her back down and dried her off really well, getting all the creases in her arms and legs.  Then he rubbed lotion on his hands to warm it before rubbing it all over her little pink body.  She smelled like baby Henry used to when they would help bathe him.  He let Dean diaper her so he could rinse off his hands. Dean had her in her onsie and was getting ready to put on her new nightgown, pink with little rosebuds all over it. Cas put on her little socks and then using the silver brush that his brothers had given them, he brushed the shock of black hair of Eloise’s head.  Dean watched Cas brush her hair and though how much she looked like her Momma right down to the crazy hair.

Dean took the tub and all the wet towels away to throw them in the laundry room. They had purchased a special hamper for only baby clothes. Dean had researched it and decided they would wash all her clothes and towels in special detergent called Dreft which was made to be sensitive for baby skin. 

When Dean returned, Cas had moved to the living room and had a very happy baby bundled warmly and nursing at his breast.  He looked up at Dean and smiled, “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

Dean knelt in front of Cas and kissed him, not so sweetly. “We make a good team there Winchester, if I do say so myself.” He kissed Cas a few more times and Cas reached out a hand to hold Dean in place with a hand on the back of his neck. Eloise was a little squished by the kissing session and she wiggled and squawked letting go of Cas.  When she did, she must have let go mid suck because milk sprayed out of Cas’ nipple and hit her in the face. They both laughed and Cas adjusted her to latch back on.

Dean got a tissue and wiped the milk off her little face. “Well that was interesting.  I didn’t know that could happen.”

“Neither did I, but I guess it’s safe to say my milk is in well,” Cas chuckled.

“I guess so there, moo cow,” Dean added.

The rest of their morning and early afternoon continued with diaper changes, nursing sessions and naps. It was really a lovely calm day. 

Eloise was asleep on Dean’s chest as he lay back on the couch watching television. He was really just flipping through the channels mostly watching food network, though he would deny any obsession with the Pioneer Woman.  He had put Cas to bed about an hour ago vowing to get him at least two possible three good hours of sleep before dinner.  He hit the mute when he though he heard Cas call him. He listened and he heard it again.

He put Eloise in her swing and turned it on, making sure she was settled before going up to check on Cas.  Dean took the stairs quickly and went to the bedroom. He found Cas sitting on the edge of the bed, rocking slightly with both hands on his belly. Dean thought he must be experiencing serious discomfort, and with his belly still big from having Eloise, he looked like he did when he was in labor.  He looked over at Dean when he heard his footsteps and said, “I think I need to go to the bathroom.”

“Okay Cas, what can I do to help?” Dean asked quietly.

“I don’t know,” he answered holding out one hand to beckon Dean to his side. Dean sat gingerly on the bed and put an arm around his shoulders rubbing up and down his arm. Cas rested his head on his shoulder and kept rubbing round circles on the sides of his stomach.  “I never thought I would dread taking a shit so much in my entire life.”

“Oh man, I feel for you hon,” Dean told him. “You took all the stool softeners that Ellen gave you so it shouldn’t be too bad, right?”

“Well, we are about to find out. I’m gonna go give it a try,” Cas said apprehensively as he got up and walked toward the bathroom. 

Cas even walked like he was uncomfortable and it hurt Dean to see him like that. “Do you want me to come with you, babe?” Dean offered.

“No, I think I’ll be fine,” Cas answered as he walked into the bathroom and shut the door. 

Dean paced back and forth in the master bedroom listening for Cas and also listening for the baby. He was worried about Cas and could hear Cas’ muffled voice coming from the bathroom.

“Dean!” Cas called. “Can you come in please?”

“Sure, hon,” Dean answered as he opened the door and entered the bathroom.  He walked over to Cas and knelt down in front of Cas who was sitting on the toilet with his head in his hands.  He kissed his hair cradling his head against his shoulder and rubbed Cas’ back trying to reassure him. “What can I do?”

“I’m sorry Dean, you shouldn’t have to be here for this but I’m worried and I don’t feel good.  I feel sweaty and lightheaded and-“

“Cas, don’t apologize. Sweetheart, you’ve been through so much and I can understand being nervous. Everything down there is so sore and raw still.  You haven’t even stopped bleeding yet.”

“I need you to hold me Dean, please? I think I’m gonna go and I need you to just hold me,” Cas pleaded.

“You bet, Cas, baby. I’m here, just go. Just try to relax and go.”

“Oh God, Dean!” Cas grabbed fistfuls of his shirt and buried his face into Dean’s neck, shaking. Dean held him as tight as he dared, willing him to relax his body and go to the bathroom. 

Suddenly Cas’ head shot up with a smile, “I went Dean! I went and it wasn’t that bad, holy shit.”

Dean could hear the relief in Cas’ voice and couldn’t resist a little ribbing. “Well, I’m glad you went but I don’t think it’s holy!”

“Shut up, Dean, you jackass! You have no idea,” Cas barked, but there was no venom in his voice and he smiled.

“No I don’t and I’m sorry you were so worried, Cas,” Dean kissed Cas as he spoke.

“Well that was almost the most embarrassing thing I have ever done,” Cas said face reddening.

“Don’t be embarrassed, Cas,” Dean reassured Cas. “You and Eloise have given the Winchester clan a motto. They will put it on our crest: Better out than in!”

“Dean Winchester, get the hell out of here and go check on the baby.” Dean got up and made his way back to the bedroom.

Before he closed the door, he turned to Cas and genuinely spoke, “I’m glad you’re okay babe, you need anything else before I go?”

“No, Dean, thank you. Did I tell you what a good husband you are?”

“Every day, babe, every day!” Dean said and turned to go rescue Eloise from the swing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always welcome and appreciated.


	28. I'm Proud of Us Cas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys venture out into public for Eloise's first well baby weight check. Things start a little rough in the waiting area, but go well with Dr. Garth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dean is a little protective of his family, Eloise does a good job of putting the boys in an awkward spot.

Friday morning started with a very fussy Eloise and two tired parents.  They had all been up most of the night because it seemed as though a certain baby girl had decided that night was the new day.  Any other day neither Dean nor Cas would have cared, but today at nine they had an appointment for a breastfeeding weight check for Eloise.

So Dean and Cas were not laying in their warm bed with a cuddly baby catching up on lost sleep. It was eight fifteen and Dean was showered and dressing Eloise in her pink Mommy’s Sweet Girl romper, pink socks and white eyelet bonnet to protect her from the sun. She was finally clean, bathed, dressed and currently sleeping in her car seat when Cas emerged from his shower wearing maternity jeans and one of his nursing tops.  He slipped on his sandals and then he and Dean went to the nursery to pack their first diaper bag.

They had chosen a messenger style bag, black and white plaid with buzzing yellow and black bumble bees appliquéd on the pockets.  They packed diapers, wipes, clean onsies, a spare romper, extra socks, and burp cloths.  They also included a changing pad to lay Eloise on for diaper changes, and a nursing cover in case Cas needed to feed the baby while they were out.  They threw in a few plastic grocery bags for dirty diapers and wipes.  Cas and Dean hoped they had everything they needed to survive their first trip out of the house. At the last second, Cas remembered to toss in a bottle of hand sanitizer, a few maternity pads for him, and his wallet. 

Dean grabbed the bag and the baby in the car seat and they headed for the garage.  Dean helped Cas ease into the backseat on the driver’s side and then walked around to the passenger side of the impala to lock in the car seat.  “Ready, babe?” Dean asked as he shut the door and started the engine.  “Drive, James,” Cas teased Dean about chauffeuring him to the doctor’s office.  As tired as they were, it was kind of nice to be out in the sunshine and fresh air. 

Cas was a little nervous about the weight check.  He couldn’t help but feel like it was the next test of his motherhood.  If  Eloise was gaining weight, he was doing a good job with breastfeeding. If she had not gained some of her weight back, he would feel like a failure. He knew Dean would not like him thinking like that, but he could not help it. As if he could read Cas’ mind, Dean cautioned his husband, “I can hear you thinking and you have nothing to worry about.”

“What if she hasn’t gained any weight, Dean?” Cas asked with trepidation.

“Babe! She is happy and sleeping, well except for last night, and beautiful… There is nothing wrong with her, or you.  You are such a good mother, you’ll see when Garth checks her out,” Dean reassured Cas.

Dean pulled out of the driveway and took on his secret service driver look. Cas loved how protective Dean was when he drove Eloise in the car.  It made him smile and want to kiss the nervousness right off his face.  Eloise was still asleep, so Cas tried to relax and think about what Dean had said.  Eloise was a happy baby and she did not seem hungry after she nursed so he could probably safely assume that she was getting plenty of milk. 

Before he knew it, Dean had parked in a spot in front of their pediatrician’s office, which was actually in the same medical park as the birthing center. Cas heard Dean let out a breath that Cas did not even know he had been holding while he drove. Cas had never know Dean to be a nervous driver before Eloise and it amused him.  Dean opened the door for Cas and helped him out of the car.  Cas was still quite sore and getting in and out of the car seemed to aggravate his situation.  Dean trotted around to get the diaper bag and the car seat and the little family headed into the office. 

Cas approached the counter and signed in on the clipboard indicating their appointment time of nine.  The form said to sit in the waiting area until the receptionist called their name, so he and Dean took Eloise to the waiting room. The initial waiting area split off into two separate rooms. There was a well child room and a sick child room.  They chose the well child room and found plenty of seats available, though there were a few people waiting for appointments as well.

Dean helped Cas sit in a chair and then sat right next to him.  They chose seats off by themselves, but could feel the looks they were given as Dean sat next to Cas and put the baby’s seat on the floor between their feet.  Cas looked around the room protectively while Dean checked to see if Eloise was still asleep. There were a few toddlers, no one as young as Eloise, and one little boy who looked right at Cas, maybe three or four years old.  Cas knew a nosy kid when he saw one, so he looked away quickly to avoid a conversation.

They were the only men with a child presently in the well room and as Dean looked around he couldn’t help but grin at the warm smiles they received. He smiled at Cas who gave him a sweet kiss on the cheek, causing Dean to blush knowing they were already in the spotlight of all the moms in the room.

A woman from the desk entered the room and inquired, “Eloise Winchester?”

“That’s us,” Cas answered.  The woman smiled as she approached and handed Cas a clip board and asked him to fill out all of the sheets and bring them with their insurance card to the desk when they were done. 

Cas asked Dean to get their card from his wallet in the baby bag while he began to fill out the various forms.  It was basic new patient stuff with name, address, date of birth, etc. It took about ten minutes to get through the first two sheets and Cas had one left when Eloise started to stir in her seat. 

Dean rocked the seat by the handle, but to no avail, and it was clear that she was awake and going to fuss.  “I fed her before we left, she can’t be hungry already,” Cas offered trying to continue the paperwork but clearly distracted with concern.

“Well she can always be hungry Cas, but maybe she senses we aren’t home and want to snuggle,” Dean answered as he moved to rotate the handle back so he could get her out of the seat easier.

“Use the hand sanitizer please Dean. We have touched so many public things,” Cas cringed as he thought about all the germs that could be on their little baby. 

“True, good idea babe,” Dean agreed as he dug through the bag looking for the bottle of hand gel.

“It’s in the outer pocket sweetheart,” Cas directed Dean while desperately trying to finish the insurance form.  He filled in the last answer as Dean pulled Eloise to his chest amid the soft oohs and aaahs of the waiting room moms.  Dean smiled across the room as he snuggled Eloise into his shoulder and neck.  She was adorable in her pink romper and white bonnet with her little pick socks.  Cas grabbed the hand gel and used it before pulling the pink receiving blanket with little grey elephants out of the seat and wrapped it around the baby.  She squeaked and squawked but seemed to settle down with Dean holding her.

“The paperwork is finished, Dean,” Cas reminded. 

“Here, give it to me and I will run it out there quick,” Dean suggested.  Cas handed him the clipboard with their insurance card and Dean, still holding Eloise, ran it out to the desk and came back quickly. He gave Cas back the card to return to his wallet in the baby bag. 

Eloise was squirming a little and beginning to grunt, which usually meant one thing and Dean and Cas looked at each other and smiled knowing what was coming.  Sure enough, Eloise’s little grunts turned into a noisy pooping session, causing the two men to blush furiously and the other mothers in the room to giggle. 

When they were sure she was done, they knew they had to change her.  Dean looked around for a bathroom when one of the mothers spoke up. “That door is a bathroom with a changing table. It’s pretty clean and has paper covering the table that you can change.”

“Thanks,” Dean said as he grabbed the bag and headed towards the room to the surprise of the mothers. “Wait here, babe. I can change her, but if I don’t come back please rescue me.”

“Okay, Dean. Thanks,” Cas relaxed back into the chair. He was glad to remain in his seat. He was still sore and walking awkwardly which he found a little embarrassing.  He could see out of the corner of his eye that the little boy was watching the whole scene unfold.  He looked from Dean to Cas and to his mother. 

Dean came out of the bathroom, smiling “That wasn’t too bad, was it baby girl.” Dean handed the baby to Cas, “Gotta wash my hands. I was afraid to leave her on the table.”

Taking their sweet baby girl and kissing her cheeks made it clear to Cas that she was going to want to eat.  She was trying to latch onto anything that got remotely near her mouth.  Cas decided to wait for Dean to come back and help him before he attempted to nurse.  He pulled the nursing cover out of the bag and set it on his lap, then he untied her bonnet and pulled it off.  When he un covered her hair, it was as unruly as his own and he knew the other mothers loved it.  They were all looking and finally, one broke the silence.

“How old is she?” the mother asked.

“Four days,” Cas answered as he transferred her to his shoulder and patted her back. 

“She has your hair,” another mother added.

“You bet she does,” Cas heard Dean answer as he came out of the bathroom, “and I love it on both of them, for completely different reasons of course.” The mothers laughed as Cas shot Dean a squinty look.

“She needs to nurse, Dean,” Cas told his husband and opened the nursing cover.  He handed it to Dean to hold while he got Eloise situated. Dean held up the cover in front of Cas for privacy and Cas turned Eloise so they were tummy to tummy and he opened his bra through the nursing top.  She began her hunting and rooted back and forth until she found Cas and latched on fiercely.  Cas hissed a little but it was a little better every time she nursed.  Dean slipped the cover over Cas head and adjusted it so Cas was covered.  There was an area at the top of the cover that bowed out so Cas could peek down to see the baby from his perspective but from the front, he had complete privacy.

Dean stood in front of him for a minute peeking in at Eloise nursing away happily, her little fist against Cas’ chest.  Dean gave Cas a chaste but firm kiss before he sat down.  

“What’s the baby doing in that tent mommy?” the little boy asked loudly.

Cas looked at Dean, clearly wanting to avoid this awkward moment.  Dean smiled and wrapped his arm around Cas’ shoulders.  “It’s okay, Cas. His mom will distract him,” Dean whispered.

“The mommy is feeding the baby, honey,” the mother answered just as loud.  Cas felt the entire room focus on him the moment the words left her mouth. So much for distracting.   He just continued to look down through the opening in the cover to watch Eloise nurse and tried to ignore the conversation.  Dean squeezed his shoulders just a little tighter and Cas was grateful. 

The little boy, clearly puzzled by the answer from this mother asked, “He can’t be the mommy, he’s the alpha. That’s the omega, he took that baby in the bathroom when she pooped,” the little boy pointed directly at Dean when he spoke. “Tell my mommy you’re the omega,” he demanded.

Dean rolled his eyes and focused on Cas and Eloise.  “Danny,” the mother chastised her son, “Don’t be rude.”

“Daddy told me the prettier one is always the omega and the bossy one is the alpha,” Danny shot right back to his mother.  “He’s bossy and he is pretty,” he pointed to Cas then Dean.

“Okay, Danny is it?” Dean asked as he looked at the mother.

“Yes, it’s Danny,” she answered somewhat smugly.

“Dean, Please,” Cas willed with his husband to ignore the child.

“I am the alpha, the baby’s Daddy, and this is my husband the baby’s momma and the omega,” Dean said, clearly addressing the mother by talking to the child.  “But here’s the thing, Danny. I kinda like to do things your daddy says are omega things like take care of babies.  And, Cas here likes to work, so when the baby is a bit bigger, Cas is gonna go to back to work and I’m going to stay home with her.  You don’t have to only do things that people think you are supposed to do.  You can pick things because you like them. Remember that.”

“Come here Danny,” the mother pulled her son as far away from Dean and Cas as she could.  “You listen to your daddy about alphas and omegas, not him.  They don’t follow the rules.”

“She needs to burp, Dean,” Cas said, voice strained.

“Here, Cas. Hand her to me. I’ll burp her while you get switched over,” Dean said and burped Eloise on his shoulder smugly.   

 A nurse came out and called Danny’s name just as Cas could tell Dean was going to lecture the mother on her stupid rules.

When the mother and son went back in to the office area, another mother spoke up. “Don’t mind her, she is nothing but a busybody.  The rest of us who come to Garth’s practice are open minded.  That’s why we are here.  I think your family is lovely and I would be more than happy if my little boy were to turn out like either of you, for what it’s worth.”

Cas stress pinched face softened at her comments. “It’s worth a lot actually,” Cas told her. “Thank you and your little boy is very lucky to have you for a mother. We were lucky enough to have families who accepted us and we still struggle sometimes. I hope by the time Eloise is grown, people will have more choices and less expectations from the world around them.”

Eloise chose that moment to burp and Dean handed her back to Cas to nurse again.  He took the cover off and just used the receiving blanket to shield himself until she was eating.  He patted her on the bottom as she suckled happily and Dean puffed up as proud as a peacock at his husband’s confidence. He smiled at the woman who had eased Cas’ discomfort and then leaned in and kissed Cas on the cheek, resting his head on Cas shoulder and cradling Eloise fuzzy head in his palm.

By the time the nurse called for Eloise, she was finished nursing and fast asleep.  They were brought back into an exam room that was decorated with farm animals.  The nurse, Anna, asked them to lay Eloise down on the exam table and remove all her clothing but her diaper.  “I am going to do a quick temperature and weight for Dr. Garth and then he will be in.  Do you have any concerns you want me to tell Dr. Garth to address?”

“I don’t think we have any, except of course to know if she is nursing enough,” Cas answered for them. Eloise began to object to being practically naked and was working up to a full cry. 

“Wrap her blanket around her to help her feel secure and warm. I will move it when I need to, and as soon as I am done here, you can hold her and she will probably be happier,” Anna told them as she used an ear thermometer to read her temp. “Now for the weight, come here pretty girl,” She cooed as she lifted Eloise off the table and moved around to the infant scale.  “She may cry when I put her down.  I’ll give her to you as soon as I get a solid reading, okay?” She looked to Cas and Dean for a response before she continued. When they nodded, she placed Eloise on the curved, paper lined scale bed and removed her diaper.

Indeed she did object to the naked weight check.  She wailed quite readily and Cas and Dean stood waiting with the blanket and Dean’s arms around Cas’ waist. Mostly dean need to hold onto Cas so he wouldn’t grab the baby off the scale.   When Anna was satisfied, she diapered and lifted the baby and returned her to her parents, sweetly apologizing for upsetting her. Cas held her against his chest and wrapped her in the blanket, rocking to calm her.  Cas decided he like Anna who patted the baby as she told them the doctor would be right in. 

“ I like her, Dean,” Cas whispered. “Me, too,” Dean answered back. Eloise settled as there was a knock on the door and Dr. Garth entered the exam room. 

“Well hello Winchesters. How is everyone today?” Garth asked in an upbeat tone.

“Very well, thank you, how are you?” Cas answered.

“I am just dandy and glad to see this little lady, here. Can I ask a few questions before I take a look at her?”

“Sure,” Dean answered for them.

“Mom still nursing every two hours,”

“Yes, though sometimes she sleeps a little longer,” Cas told him.

“Okay, but if she sleeps more than three hours right now, we need to wake her to eat. Just till she regains her birth weight.” Garth instructed.

“How much does she weigh today?” Cas asked nervously.

“Miss Eloise weights six pounds, nine ounces. She has gained 5 ounces in two days. I am very happy with that.  Your milk is adequate, more than adequate, I would say.”

Cas let out a breath and hugged Eloise a little tighter, “Thank God,” he puffed out.

“Were you worried she wasn’t getting enough? Is that why you are so relieved Cas? You look really good you know. Much better than the day I saw you at the birthing center.”

“I just wanted to know that she was gaining,” Cas answered laughing a little.

“Is she sleeping between feedings?”

Cas and Dean nodded.

“Is she wetting her diapers?”

They nodded again.

“Is she pooping before every feeding?”

They laughed as they nodded and Dean asked, ”Is it always so loud?”

“Oh yes, breastfeeding stools are usually very soft and they usually sound like M16’s when they go.” Garth answered.

“Are you having any trouble with her latching on or nursing?” he asked Cas.

“Um not really except it’s a little painful and I’m sore, I mean my nipples…” Cas blushed as he answered.

“Try to switch positions, maybe football hold every other time.  It changes the stress on your nipple and when she finishes, there is usually some liquid left on the nipple, right?”

Cas nodded.

“That liquid is a combination of milk and saliva from Eloise and it is the best nipple healer out there. Use your finger to spread that stuff all over the nipple, especially any sore areas.  Make sure to see Ellen if you get any significant cracks or bleeding. It is common, but can require monitoring.”

“Can I see this young lady for a minute?” Garth asked putting out his arms for the baby.

Cas handed her over and Garth put her on the table.  She cried while he looked at her eyes and ears, felt her fontanels, and measured her head. “I need to look inside her diaper.” He said as he pulled open the tapes and rotated her hips checking for any joint issues. He examined her little diaper area, asking, “Has she had any discharge or bleeding from her vagina?”

“No!” Cas answered a little alarmed.

“It can occur as her little hormones regulate, so don’t be shocked if it does. Give us a call if you have any concerns about something like that. It can seem alarming even though it is totally fine.” Garth told them sympathetically.

“Well, she has great lungs,” Garth commented as he diapered her and lifted her against his shoulder. “I am sorry beautiful girl. We are gonna be pals for many years, you and I.” She quieted as he bounced her and handed her back to Cas, who snuggled her into his neck. 

“She looks fantastic,” Garth announced. “I am really happy with a five ounce weight gain. I do want to see her again on Wednesday for just a weight, not a full exam. Call in the meantime if you have any questions or concerns. She is a beautiful girl. Good job, Momma and Daddy.”

Cas beamed at Garth’s words of praise. He looked at Dean who kissed him quickly and said, “I told you so, Cas.”

Garth told them to dress her and that the nurse would escort them back to the desk to check out. They thanked him and were busy dressing the baby when the nurse came back with their paperwork and appointment card for Wednesday at eleven. They thanked Anna and Dean put Eloise in the car seat, tucking in the blanket and adjusting her bonnet strings under her chin.

Cas was starving and ready for a long nap with his baby girl and husband, but he was happy. He had passed the test, he was successfully nursing Eloise and she was gaining weight. Not to mention, he had fed her in public and they had all survived.

They ate a quick sandwich and some leftover pasta salad and then dean tucked Cas back into bed promising to bring Eloise to nurse when she woke up.

“I’m proud of us, Cas, but I’m really proud of you. Rest Momma, you’ve earned it,” he kissed Cas as he pulled up the blankets and his husband closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to hear what you are thinking as you read...


	29. Stars and Stripes for Eloise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Winchesters celebrate Eloise's first Fourth of July.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I stared a new fic and my dad had surgery.

Before either Dean or Cas could believe it, Eloise was ten days old and they were taking her to her first family holiday cookout. The fourth of July was usually at their house, but given the newness of their little bumble bee, Bobby and Ellen had eagerly offered to have it at their house instead. It was a potluck style get together, with the hosts providing drinks and meat to barbecue and the guests all bringing a side and a dessert.  Dean made a huge bowl of his famous everything pizza pasta salad and a trifle he saw on Pinterest, yes Pinterest, that was pound cake layered with vanilla pudding, blueberries and strawberries and whipped cream.

They would be attending the parade in the center of town in the morning, then heading to dinner around five and the fireworks at the city park at dark, about nine or so.  Dean was incredibly worried that both Cas and Eloise would not be able to handle all of that activity, but Cas was ready to venture out. He was becoming more and more comfortable with parenting and physically he felt great.  He was no longer bleeding and not taking quite as many naps.  Ellen assured Dean that they could claim a guest room as a home base and have some private time if they needed it, so Dean felt a little better.

They had so much stuff to put in the impala for the day that Dean swore up and down next time he would rent a u-haul.  They had a pak-n-play crib for naps and changing diapers, the stroller, the diaper bag with all of Eloise’s stuff, the momma bag with all of Cas’ stuff, a large umbrella, and all the food for the party.

Cas did not want to travel without extra clothes for himself after one embarrassing incident at the park, requiring them to walk home with Cas covered in the contents of one messy diaper blowout.  Cas’ milk supply had Eloise pooping up a storm. They were extremely proud of their little pooper after thoroughly researching that all that poop was okay, even though Garth had told them it was.

They arrived at Bobby and Ellen’s and unpacked everything but the stroller.  Dean set everything up in the guest room Ellen had ready and they were set to go to the parade.  Jo and Charlie were saving seats along the main street, so they all drove in the impala to a parking lot about three blocks away and walked the rest of the way.  Cas put the baby in the stroller while Dean stuffed the bags underneath.  They hadn’t used the stroller much and when Cas saw Dean’s face lit up like a damn Christmas tree he offered to let Dean push the stroller.  Cas happily walked next to Dean as he pushed a sleeping Eloise in her red and white striped dress with navy blue pockets covered in stars. She also had a wide elastic head band with a huge red, white and blue flower on it.  Dean absolutely strutted his way down the street.

Jo and Charlie nearly tackled them when they arrived at the saved seats.  They peeked in the stroller at the sleeping baby and silently squealed at her outfit.  Shortly after, Jess and Sam arrived with a much more awake Henry sitting up in his stroller.  The eight adults sat in lawn chairs and waited for the parade to begin.  Just as the parade began, Eloise began to fuss and Dean picked her up and settled her on his shoulder.  A few floats went by and then the high school marching band blasted them.  They all couldn’t help but laugh at the very wide eyed Henry and Eloise until her bottom lip quivered and Cas scolded Dean good naturedly for making her cry. Dean checked her diaper before handing her over to Cas to nurse.  She settled down once the band stopped playing and only the drummers kept the beat. 

Cas covered himself with a receiving blanket and quickly got Eloise what she wanted.  He was past the painful stage of nursing unless she slept the full three hours she was allowed and he was too full. Ellen notices Cas’ ease with nursing and commented.

“Nursing seems to be going well, huh Cas? Not sore anymore?” Ellen asked.

“MOM! Are you really asking Cas about his boobs in front of everyone?” Dean tried to intervene, feeling heat creep up into his cheeks.

 “Dean it’s fine,” Cas assured his husband and turned to his mother in law without blinking an eye answering, “Yes, actually it’s really lovely My nipples are no longer sore and it doesn’t hurt when she latches on at all, unless I’m too full of milk. I think Eloise takes after her Daddy, she is a voracious nurser.”

The entire group roared with laughter at Cas’ smug look while Dean sat beet red with his mouth hanging wide open. 

The rest of the parade went by in about an hour and a half and then they all made their way back to where the cars were parked. Cas slipped Eloise into her car seat and Dean put the stroller in the trunk. Sam, Jess and Henry went home until dinner, but Charlie and Jo were coming to the house now.  They were taking photos of Eloise today and it was a secret photo session that Cas and Dean were aware of but not allowed to see.  Charlie had shown them some examples and they were excited to see what she did with Eloise.  They were going to choose one picture for their announcement.

Eloise needed to nurse and Cas needed a nap when they got back to Ellen and Bobby’s house.  Dean changed her diaper and Eloise laid down with her in the guest room.  Dean promised to give her to the girls when she finished eating. He did just that and left Cas sleeping in the guest room to go help Ellen and Bobby get ready for the cookout. Ellen smacked him good once when she caught him trying to peek at the photo shoot, so he left them alone after that. 

It was tradition to not have lunch on the Fourth of July, so you could stuff yourself at dinner, but Dean made Cas a sandwich and put an apple with it.  When Cas got up, Eloise was sound asleep in her pack-n-play so went out to see what was going on.  He ate the sandwich and apple, gratefully and grabbed a bottle of water as he headed out back to see how things were going. They were nearly done with the picnic tables and tiki lights lining the yard.  They lit special citronella candles to keep down the mosquitoes after dinner, but it always looked like they were setting up a luau.   

He found Dean in the garage with Bobby, standing in front of a beat up old fridge, contemplating the beer and soda situation. He wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist and kissed him on the back of the neck.  Together the three of them decided there was enough of everything and Bobby headed into the house to help Ellen while Dean and Cas walked hand in hand out into the back yard.  There was a hammock on a frame under a huge shade tree and Cas rumbled at Dean, “If felt well enough I would put you in that hammock and do dirty things to you, Mr. Winchester.”

Dean attempted to say something but only a squeak came out and he had to clear his throat before trying again, “Well I say we go out there and get as dirty as we are allowed to, Mr. Winchester.”

They groped each other on the way across the lawn and it took several tries but they got themselves into the hammock and started to make out like a couple of horny teenagers. They got completely lost in each other and the moment and nearly jumped out of their own skin when Ellen shouted from the kitchen window, “Hey, lovebirds! Bobby’s got a hungry baby in here.”

Cas leapt from the hammock and knocked Dean on his ass, apologizing over his shoulder in his hurry to rescue Eloise whom he could now hear in her full out hungry cry.  Dean gave himself a minute to recover so as not to embarrass himself or anyone else with his condition, it had been a while since they had gotten so worked up. He found Cas as he finished changing Eloise and was patting her on his shoulder to calm her a little.  They settled into a chair in the living room and Cas reached into his shirt to unclip his bra and let Eloise nurse.  “I’m sorry sweetheart,” Cas cooed at her as she tried to latch on while crying.  He patted her bottom and palmed her head to help her find his nipple, she was so upset.  He looked up at Dean once she was eating and smiled guiltily at his husband, “Some parents, we are, huh. Busted making out in the back yard while she cries in her crib.”

“Well Winchester,” Dean snarked, “if you weren’t so damn sexy, we wouldn’t have been doin’ the dirty in the hammock at all.”

“Keep your voice down,” Cas blushed. “And we were not _doin’ the dirty_ , we were making out…a little.”

“You mean like this?” Dean asked as he placed a filthy kiss on Cas’ lips.

Cas blushed furiously and pulled back from Deans mouth, “Don’t you dare kiss me filthy right in front of the baby.”

“Get a room!” Bobby grumbled as he walked through the living room. Cas didn’t think he could be any more red than he was.

Dean just smirked, “That was for the comment at the parade, there smarty pants.”

The rest of their holiday was wonderfully relaxing. Cas looked around at their family and sincerely felt at peace. They ate tons of food and headed to Eloise's first fireworks, which little Miss Stars and Stripes slept right through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loooooove to hear your comments...


	30. A Cure For Cabin Fever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean have been home with Eloise for four weeks except for the fourth of July. They venture out seeking a little change. They discuss Cas' return to work as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking about adding some characters. They are hinted at here. Let me know what you think.

Following the successful outing for the fourth of July, Dean and Cas were much more confident and comfortable with Eloise.  Peaceful days at home, cool post bath mornings in the back yard rocking together in the chairs on the deck and then naps before and after lunch were a common part of the family schedule. 

Cas had talked before the baby came about setting a schedule and having the baby on a feeding plan so going back to work would be organized and simple.  Dean saw nothing of that in the on demand feeding philosophy  Cas following with Eloise now.  Cas was so easy with the baby, so relaxed and well… maternal.  Dean was happy about that, no question, but he was also a little surprised.  This morning for example, Cas had suggested going for a walk, which is why they were headed down the street, Cas pushing the stroller containing a sleeping Eloise.

“You know, two weeks from today, I go back to the clinic for my check up,” Cas said suddenly as they were walking towards the park. 

“I just can’t believe that she is a month old already,” Dean whined. “She’ll be eighteen before we know it!”

“Jesus, don’t jinx us, Dean,” Cas chastised Dean with a smile.  “I need to start thinking about going back to work.”

Dean walked a little closer to Cas and slipped an arm around his waist. “Yeah, we have kinda avoided that whole talk.”

“Is it bad if I still want to go back to work, even though I can’t bear the thought of leaving her?” Cas asked softly.

“No, babe, it’s not awful at all.  I get to stay home, and I still feel kinda sick about it, not that I’m trying to make it worse,” Dean answered squeezing Cas a little tighter, then panicked a little asking, “You still want me to stay home, don’t you?”

“Yes, Dean, don’t hit the panic button just yet. There is no way she is going to a sitter or anything. When  I go back, you’re staying home.  That was our deal. That’s why we promoted Benny and the other two mechanics.” Cas leaned in and gave Dean a peck on the cheek.

“Besides, Eloise and I will come to work to check on projects and do consultations. And while she is really little, we will come in so you can nurse her.  It’s not like we don’t live right down the road.”

“That’s right,” Cas confirmed, “It won’t be so hard.”

Dean however wasn’t sure Cas believed that.  They had made it to the park and there were a few moms, a couple of dads and lot of little kids running around. Since school didn’t start for another month or so, there were all ages of kids at the park.  Dean found them an empty bench so they could sit and watch the kids play.  Cas and Dean had decided to start coming to the park to meet the other families in the neighborhood. 

During their first visit, they had gotten a lot of smiles, but that was all. Today they saw a couple of familiar faces and got a few nods.  A little boy threw a ball and it bounced by Cas’ feet. He picked it up and tossed it back.  It must have been some sort of test, because a young mother walked over and introduced herself.  Her name was Becky Shirley and she was married to an alpha named Chuck, a writer. 

“It’s very nice to meet you Becky,” Cas said as he shook her hand.  “This is my husband, Dean and our baby girl, Eloise is asleep in the stroller. 

“Nice to meet you, Becky,” Dean said as he stopped her son from crawling into the stroller, “Whoa there little guy, she’s a bit tiny for friends, yet.”

“Oh Charlie, don’t touch the little baby,” Becky cooed in an overly sweet tone. “I run the neighborhood OOPS group, just so you know. In case you’re interested in joining,” Dean thought she was  looking between the two men for some sort of response. 

“I’m sorry, OOPS, is….?” Cas took the bait to relieve the tension.

When Cas answered, Becky must have assumed he was the alpha because she began to address all her comments to him.  It didn’t hurt that both men were dressed neutrally now that Cas didn’t have to wear maternity jeans, though he clearly had on a nursing tee under his flannel shirt.

“Oh well, it stands for Omegas of Pre Schoolers. We get together on Tuesday and Thursday mornings at one of our homes for a meeting and snack and we make plans for activities like coming here to the park, or going to a museum or just for coffee. Maybe one of you would like to join us, huh?”

Dean loved Cas but sometimes he wanted to just throw him on the ground and kiss the hell out of him. One of those times was right now, because he could tell that Becky was fishing for their statuses and Cas wasn’t going to make it easy for her.  Four weeks in the house with a newborn while wonderful, could make anyone a little stir crazy and by the look in Cas’ eyes, he intended to get some entertainment today.

“Well I think Dean would be a great addition to your OOPS group,” Cas told Becky, without satisfying her curiosity completely.

Giving a puzzled look between the two, she at least gave in and handed Dean a flier from her purse advertising the group. “Give me a call if you are interested,” she addressed Dean but then nodded at Cas deferring to the _alpha_ , ”if it’s okay and all.”

Eloise began to fuss, it was past time for her to nurse, and Dean lifted her out of the stroller. She scrunched herself up into a post sleep stretch that Dean always found so adorable. “Mornin’ sunshine,” he murmured to her as he snuggled her against his shoulder.

“She is just darling. How old is she?” Becky inquired delaying her departure, hoping to figure the couple out, Dean thought.

Eloise began to fuss in earnest, sucking on her fist, but looking for much more.  “She is four weeks,” Dean answered. “Cas, she wants to eat.”

Cas grabbed a receiving blanket and winked at Dean as he took the baby and boldly began to arrange his clothing to nurse the baby. “Here, hon. Let me hold the blanket and give you a little privacy til she settles.” Dean offered.

“Thanks, sweetheart. Wow you really get her blankets smelling so good when you do the laundry. Do you have any of those cookies you packed, I’m hungry too.” Cas rambled as he helped Eloise latch on to his breast.

Becky stood, staring open mouthed and stunned.

“Hey you got any guys in your group, or just ladies.” Dean smirked.

He seemed to snap her out of it because she answered, “We, um…we have a couple of male omegas. Victor is an active omega mom, and Samandriel, but mostly women. But…you’re…”

“I am a stay at home alpha” Dean grinned. “Cas here will go back to work in a couple of weeks. Will I be welcome to join your group?”

“Well…I..uh…” Becky stumbled for words.

“I’ll tell you what,” Dean said snidely, “I’ll call you when I’m ready to join and I will come to one of your meetings. If I like what you’re about, maybe I’ll join.”

And with that, Becky turned, grabbing little Charlie’s hand and marched off. 

“That was fun,” Cas said, leaning in for a kiss. “Really fun.”

“Truthfully, it was kinda hot.” Dean said as he leaned under the blanket and kissed Eloise on the forehead. She opened one eye as if to say hey dad, busy here. On his way back up, he gave a quick kiss to Cas’ chest.

“Dean!” Cas squeaked loudly, squinting his eyes.

Dean answered him with a filthy kiss, just for Becky, of course.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love comments. We are moving on in the plot but I would love to know what you think...


	31. Ain't Nothing Like the Real Thing Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots baby fluff. Cas learns to pump and Dean learns to bottle feed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the hardest part about returning to teaching after my kids. We had to get creative, so I thought Dean should as well.

Cas put the list on the fridge with the magnet that was made out of their baby announcement.  Charlie had taken the picture during the secret photo shoot on the fourth of July.  It was Eloise sound asleep on a large yellow sunflower.  She was wearing nothing but a yellow and black striped knit cap with antennae. She was folded up sweetly like those adorable naked newborn photos you see on pinterest.  The card had all of her birth information and read Cas and Dean Brought Home Their Baby Bumble Bee! There was a large copy of the photo framed and hung in her nursery. They had both cried unashamedly when Charlie had presented it to them as one of the options.  There was no question that it would be their announcement.

Cas looked at the photo and read the list and felt a little twinge of sorrow. The list was compiled of things that had to get done in the next two weeks so Cas could return to work. First, Cas had to learn to pump breast milk.  He had avoided the whole process and now he was afraid he would not have enough put away for Eloise when the time came.  Secondly, Dean had to get Eloise to bottle feed. They had not even tried that yet, though she took a pacifier quite readily.

As if the first two items were not hard enough, they had made the decision that Cas and Dean would take turns leaving Eloise at home while one of them went out.  They would start with a quick trip to the store, a visit to work, or just a short drive.  Their reasoning was that Cas needed to be ready to go to work and also that they wanted to be able to leave Eloise with Bobby and Ellen or Sam and Jess while they went out together, on a date night. 

The final item on the list was Cas’ August 5th appointment with Ellen. She would examine him and clear him to return to work and also for intercourse. Dean told him that if he kept saying cleared for intercourse he wouldn’t have to worry about being cleared. Dean preferred to call it a return to fun sexy times. It was bittersweet for Cas because he wanted to return to both of those things, but was nervous as well. 

Dean reassured him that just because Ellen cleared him, didn’t mean he had to jump Dean that night and go to work the next day. The picture of that in Cas’ mind did make him laugh a little. Cas was a lucky man, and a very lucky omega to have Dean as his husband and alpha.  He knew many did not have such understanding mates and fewer had the choices he knew he had.  None certainly had as cute a baby as Eloise. 

Deciding to kill two birds with one stone, Cas made arrangements with Jess to spend an hour learning how to use the Medela pump. He would go over tonight while Dean stayed home with Eloise. He was apprehensive to leave her, but more nervous about pumping. If he couldn’t handle it, Eloise would have to have formula and he did not want that for her. He knew Dean could handle her alone, he was a natural parent. 

Right now a certain little bee was going to be up soon and Cas was gathering her bath supplies.  Eloise had come to love bath time and so had Cas.  He sometimes let Dean sleep in while he nursed her first thing in the morning in her nursery, enjoying the soothing motion of the rocking chair and the quiet time together.  Then he would bring her downstairs and give her a bath and get her dressed.

She had so many adorable outfits. His favorites were the bubble rompers. They were either short sleeved to sleeveless one piece outfits with gathered waists and full bottoms that made room for a diaper.  She had tons of them and they were all darling. Today he had chosen a red bubble romper with a white top that had a slice of watermelon on the front.

He heard her beginning to stir on the baby monitor he had clipped to the waistband of his pajama pants.  He had everything ready for her bath, so he jogged up to the nursery to greet her. He had begun to put her in her crib after what he thought would be her last feeding in the night.  If he was successful, he and Dean would get a little cuddling time all alone in bed. It was sometimes nice to not have to worry about where she was when they were sleeping; Cas liked the convenience of having her in bed for nursing, but did not like the worry about rolling on top of her.

He greeted her by leaning over into her range of vision. He didn’t just grab her out of the crib.  He would talk to her and rub her tummy with his hand, letting her wake up fully and happy in her bed. He and Dean wanted her to learn that her bed was a happy place and they didn’t want her to have to cry to get attention, so they always tried to catch her happy and spend a few minutes with her before picking her up.

Cas picked her up after their little talk and quickly changed her before settling in the rocker with her.  Eloise was always so hungry when she woke. Cas would often nurse her skin to skin in the morning by leaving Eloise in only a diaper and by taking off his shirt and bra for the morning feeding.  He kept a blanket on the back of the rocker to wrap around his shoulders for these early morning interactions.  One of his favorite pictures of he and Eloise was taken when Dean found them together like this and snapped their picture on his phone. It was the background on Cas’ phone once Dean texted it to him. 

Eloise nursed away as Cas memorized the parts of her little face and hands. She was so big already. She had gained her birth weight and more in her first month of life. At her last weight check she had weighed seven pounds nine ounces and Cas was sure she had gained a few more ounces since then.  He really loved the way she kept her little hands in fists as she suckled long pulls of milk from Cas’ breast. He could hear her little empty tummy fill up and make little noises as she ate.  It was so rewarding to provide her with food and to bond with her like this. Some mornings she looked up at him with her big blue eyes and he felt like they connected on a level of worship that he never expected to feel except in his relationship with Dean.  Of course, that was worship of a different kind.

He switched her to the other breast and wrapped the blanket a little tighter around his shoulder. He spoke to her as she finished her breakfast. “Momma loves you, Eloise. Daddy will take good care of you when I go to work. I will miss you but we will still have our mornings together, you and I.”  Her suckles were slowing so Cas knew she was almost done.  He stopped talking about work, he almost made himself cry. Instead he talked about taking her bath and her watermelon outfit. 

Eloise finished and Cas laid her on his legs while he threw just his shirt back on. He tossed his bra into her hamper. He had begun to wash his bras with her laundry because they were so close to her face when she nursed. He made his way down to the kitchen and ran the little tub full of warm water. He laid her on the folded bath towel that he used to pad the counter.   He washed her face with plain water and then he soaped her thoroughly with baby wash starting from her head down to her toes. He lifted her and placed her in the tub, rinsing her off carefully. She looked up at him with her wet eyelashes and he was just so in love he though his heart would burst. 

He flipped the towel over to the clean side and put her hooded towel down. He laid her on her towel, putting the hooded part on her head and wrapping her up he picked her up and put her on his shoulder.  He dried her off and danced with her around the kitchen. The little elephant trunk extending off the hood was hitting him in the chin. He laid her back down and gave her a final rub with the towel. He slathered her with Johnson’s baby lotion and diapered her little bottom. He slipped the romper over her head and put her little arms in the sleeves. He snapped the romper between her legs and brushed her black fuzzy duck hair.

Her little arms and legs moved like sporadic windmills and it made him laugh as he cleaned up the supplies and dumped the tub water in the sink.  With Eloise in one arm and the tub full of supplies in the other, he walked to the laundry room. He dropped the towels in her downstairs laundry hamper and put the tub and supplies on the shelf above the dryer.

He went upstairs with her and tucked her into bed with her daddy. “Mornin’ Dean, the baby’s in bed with you now.”  Dean, rather Dean’s lips reached up for a kiss. He leaned over and kissed his husband; lingering just long enough to be sure he was aware of the baby. He walked into the bathroom stripping out of his clothes and starting the shower. He climbed in and let the hot water fall over his head and soak into his back.  He washed his hair and rinsed it, moving on to his body. He soaped and rinsed off and thought about his upcoming appointment. He was not looking forward to the exam, but wanted to be able to make love to Dean again. He wondered how they would find the time to be sexy again, and remembered he wanted to ask Ellen when he should expect his first heat.

He shivered thinking about that now that they had the baby. It scared him that he could go into heat while he was taking care of her. They were on call for Jess and Sam with Henry, so they would return the favor he was sure. It was just too much to think about right now. 

“Babe?” Dean called. “You okay, you smell upset.”

“Fine, sorry Dean. My mind was just wandering,” he answered turning off the water. He dried off and wrapped the towel around his waist. He walked into the bedroom to get dressed. Dean was sitting on the edge of the bed holding Eloise and making faces and noises at her. He stopped mid noise when Cas entered the bedroom in only a towel.  He carefully placed the baby in the center of the bed and made a beeline for Cas. He pulled them together from hips to lips and kissed Cas feverishly. Cas, feeling a little frisky himself gave it right back deepening the kiss. Dean kissed his way down Cas’ neck slowly devouring him with open mouth kisses and little nibbles. He reached Cas’ chest and Cas jumped as Dean kissed a nipple. He covered himself with his hands and pulled away. “Sorry Dean, sorry…I just…”

Dean seemed concerned about his reaction and grabbed his arm, “Hey Cas, hey babe? It’s alright. I’m sorry, come here sweetheart, come here.” He pulled Cas into a hug and found his husband’s eyes spilling over. “Oh Cas, I didn’t mean to upset you, babe.” He cradled Cas to his chest, rubbing his back. “I got carried away, are you alright Cas?”

“I’m fine, Dean. I didn’t mean to get upset. I kissed you back, I just…you just surprised me is all,” Cas explained.

Dean helped Cas get dressed and he picked up Eloise as they went down to have breakfast. Cas slowly ate yogurt and granola with a bowl of cut up fruit.  Dean had a bowl of cereal and a bagel. Eloise was in her swing and they ate at the kitchen table. Dean held Cas’ hand as they ate, concerned that he had upset Cas this morning. Cas, sensing Dean’s concern explained the thoughts about the exam coming up and his concern over going into heat now that they have the baby.

“God Cas, I feel like such an insensitive ass. I smelled your concern and then you came in and looked so beautiful, I just wasn’t thinking. It was just selfish. I’m sorry, babe.”

“It’s fine Dean, you’re allowed to kiss me. I’m just a little worried about pumping and bottles and the appointment and going back to work. It’s just daunting is all,” Cas confessed.

“One step at a time, babe, one step at a time,” Dean reassured him.

Later that morning they went to the grocery store together and picked up a few things they needed. Cas wore Eloise in her sling as Dean pushed the cart. When they got home, Dean made chicken salad for lunch and then mowed the lawn while Cas and Eloise had a nap. Before they knew it, dinner was over and it was time for Cas to go to Sam and Jess’ for the pump lesson.

Cas had been allowed to drive at four weeks postpartum, so he packed his pump bag into baby and started her up. Dean and Eloise stood on the driveway and waved as Cas pulled into the street. He made it about ten more feet before stopping the car and running back for one more kiss.

“I love you bumble bee, I’ll be back when you’re hungry. It won’t be long, I promise,” Cas  hummed at her.

“Cas, we love you. Be brave, and for Christ’s sake, drive carefully. Better yet, do you want me to drop you off and pick you up? We can do that, Momma.” Dean soothed Cas rubbing his arm. 

“No. It’s time to put on my big boy pants and do this,” Cas stated plainly. He jogged back to the impala and with one more wave and blown kiss, got in and drove off.

Dean and Eloise sat on the back deck and rocked and snoozed while Cas was gone. Dean kept her in the sling just in case he slipped too far into sleep. He didn’t want to have to tell Cas he dropped the baby while he was away for the first time. The sound of the car returning woke him from his nap and he headed off the deck and out the gate to find Cas. 

Cas nearly knocked Dean over in his eagerness to get back to his family.  He had his bag slung over his shoulder and he buried his face into the sling to kiss Eloise then emerged and kissed Dean wet and sloppy on the mouth.

“Guess who’s a natural pumper?” Cas practically danced as he pointed both thumbs at himself. “This guy!”

Dean laughed, hard, right out loud. “Good babe, I’m glad. I’m assuming the lesson went well, then.”

“Better than well, fucking outstanding, sorry Eloise, and I was worried for nothing. I may as well be a Guernsey,” he announced.

“What’s a,” Dean started before Cas interrupted.

“Jess says Guernseys are the pretty brown cows with the lovely eyes, not the scary black and white ones.”

“Alright then, come inside, Bessy” Dean slipped an arm around Cas and kissed his temple.

Cas showed him the two special zip loc baggies full of milk and the schedule he and Jess made for him to build his milk supply to fill the freezer in the next ten days or so.  Cas would pump at work and bring the milk home for the freezer, so Dean could feed her.  Dean listened to the whole plan and then Cas placed the written plan on the fridge with a magnet. He carefully cleaned all the parts of the pump and left them to dry on the counter while he scooped Eloise out of the sling.

“Hi baby girl, did you miss me as much as I missed you?” he cooed at her softly. “It was hard as first, but once I got busy, I could breathe,” he explained to Dean. 

“Good to know. Breathing is helpful they say,” Dean teased his husband.

“Oh shut up, you know what I mean, get over here and snuggle with us, you ass,” he patted the couch next to him. “I can’t believe it’s almost nine.”

“You were gone almost two hours. Hey Cas, will you be able to feed her now, since you pumped,” Dean asked.

“Jess says my body will adjust but she might nurse longer at first when I start pumping once or twice a day. It’s just a matter of building my supply for the demand.  Plus, you will have to bottle feed her once a day to get her ready, so I can pump then. I just want a little cushion for when I start back.” Cas said while he made faces at a waking Eloise.

“I can’t wait to feed her,” Dean said brushing her fuzzy head with his palm. 

“Wanna try now?” Cas offered.

“No, Cas, not tonight. Thanks, but she missed her momma and I don’t want try too many new things at once. She needs the boobies tonight, right sweet girl?” Dean said sweetly.

“C’mere softy,” Cas said kissing Dean firmly and just this side of dirty.

The next day, Cas fed Eloise her morning feeding but when she woke up from her nap, they were ready with a bottle of breast milk. Jess suggested that Cas not be too close when Dean tried, since she would smell him and want the cow.  They were using special bottles Dean had researched for breastfeeding babies. They were not supposed to cause nipple confusion or gas, by simulating actual breastfeeding.  When you turned the bottle over it did not leak, the baby had to nurse the milk out.

 Cas got the bottle ready and Dean sat with Eloise in the living room.  She was changed but getting fussy and wanting to eat. Cas handed the warmed bottle off and stepped away to watch from a distance.

Dean touched the bottle to her cheek and she lunged for it, but when she got her mouth around it she made a face and let go. Dean tried again but got the same reaction followed by a squinty eyed Cas look which made him laugh.

“Don’t like that, huh Elle. Daddy promises, momma’s milk is in there and you will like it, just try it,” he encouraged her.

He passed the nipple over her lips, but she pinched them tightly shut and glared. “Oh my! Are you looking at Daddy like that,” he cooed at her. “It’s on now baby girl, bring it.”

“Are you really challenging your daughter?” Cas asked slightly horrified.

“Yes, indeed. And don’t talk, she heard you and now she is looking for you.” Dean pleaded.

He got up out of the chair and walked around the living room with an increasingly mad Eloise.  He bounced her and rocked her and offered her the nipple, to no avail. She was as stubborn as he was.  But what she didn’t realize was that he had done his research. He had a bag of tricks and was nowhere near the bottom yet.  He grabbed a receiving blanket off the back of the chair and headed to the back deck.  “Stay here, love, please,” he told Cas determinedly.

Cas paced back and forth, he heard her squawk once or twice, but no howling. Suddenly his phone went off and he jumped. It was a text message from Dean. He was sitting in a deck chair with his shirt pulled up and Eloise against his chest, covered by the blanket but with her head turned up and nursing on the baby bottle.  It said; _Come out, don’t talk_

He opened the door and stepped onto the deck gingerly. Dean whispered, “I just covered her like you do with the blanket in public and pulled my clothing around and turned her tummy to tummy with me, but the kicker was I squeezed a few drops of the milk form the bottle on my chest and when she started rooting, I offered the bottle.  I think the blanket smells like you.  We have to remember to have you sleep with a few of them before you go back to work.”

Cas watched from a distance and snapped photos, eyes shining. He mouthed to Dean to take a few more  as well. He loved his little family, and though it would still be hard, they were all going to be okay when he went back to work.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love comments. The really fuel me on. Let me know what you think...


	32. The Light at the End of the Tunnel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has to learn how to leave Eloise for short periods and It's time for Cas to have his six week postpartum check up. At his checkup, he reveals something about their future to Ellen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Terribly unedited, but I wanted to post, sorry.

Over the next two weeks they each spent time away from Eloise. It turned out that Dean had a far more difficult time being away from her than Cas.  The first time Dean left, he went to visit at the garage to see how the major projects were going.  He struggled with the separation, feeling himself sweating and barely keeping the panic at bay and that was even before he left the driveway. 

“You’ll be fine sweetheart,” Cas called out to him from the door.  Dean wasn’t so sure but pulled out anyway and drove to the garage.  He made Cas text photos to show him Eloise was alright and still he could hardly concentrate when Bobby was telling him how the two major restorations were going.  Benny laughed at him but was understanding and told him it would get a little easier every time.  Bobby and Benny were filling him in on how the engine installation was progressing, Madison showed him the new leathers she was working into the upholstery, and Rufus and Aaron were the kings of new and old school paint jobs and were eager to show him their latest work as well. 

By the time Dean returned home, he was a shaky mess.  He didn’t even remember the drive from the shop and ran all the way to the front door.  He tried to get it together before going in but Cas had opened the door with Eloise in his arms, a little pink bow in her hair. Dean burst into tears and took her from Cas holding the baby to his chest, inhaling big gulps of her sweet little scent. 

Cas pulled Dean into the house, “Come here you big baby.” He gave Dean a big kiss and walked him to the living room handing Dean a bottle. “You’re just in time to feed her.”

Dean looked at Cas like he had hung the moon, sank into the chair with his baby girl and fed her Cas’ milk from the bottle.  Eloise was quite used to it by now and enjoyed the change of scenery when being fed by Dean.  She seemed to sense Dean’s feelings and she held his finger on the bottle as if to comfort him.   Cas kissed him a few times and then sat on the couch to pump while Eloise drank nestled in Dean’s elbow.

The next couple of times it was his turn to go were almost as difficult. Cas tried to reassure him.  “I miss her too Dean. It’s just our personalities are different.  This just proves that you really meant to be home with her, it’s so hard for you to be away.  I love her and can’t wait to see her again, but I can get past it better than you. That’s why we are perfect for each other, it’s why I love you.  We fit together like pieces in a puzzle.”

Dean wiggled his eyebrows at Cas after his thought.

“Not like that! You know what I meant…keep your mind out of the gutter Winchester.”

Cas could not believe how fast the six weeks since he had Eloise had gone by.  Today was his appointment at the clinic with Ellen.  If things went well, he would be cleared for work and also for fun.  He was more apprehensive about the fun than the work.  His body was still not completely his and he did not know how he would feel about trying to be sexy again.  He didn’t mind that his body still partially belonged to Eloise, in fact he had grown to love it after thinking that he never would.  But he was also concerned about the logistics of having sex with the baby in the other room and actually having sex at all after having the baby. Would it feel the same, or better or worse? He had no clue. He did know one thing, he had come through his pregnancy and delivery a better person, feeling good about himself and more in love with Dean every day and that is what mattered most.

He had his morning time with their little girl in the nursery and had bathed and dressed her. She had on the cutest little floral romper with a thin belt of red fabric covered in tiny white dots defining the waist and the same red fabric in a tiny little peter pan collar by her neck. There were matching bows at the waist and fastened with velcro into her hair. She looked absolutely adorable even if he was her mother. 

He could hear Dean in the shower so he made a bagel for Dean and ate yogurt himself for breakfast. When he came downstairs, Dean commented about on Cas’ unusually small breakfast, “Not eating much this morning. Are you feeling alright?”

“ I’m fine, a little nervous maybe but alright.” Cas answered.

“I can make some eggs or something while you shower,” Dean offered. “Oh my goodness look at that pretty girl,” Dean cooed when he saw Eloise in her outfit.

“Thank you Dean, but your mother is going to be looking at and touching  me in ways only you usually do and I don’t think either one of you want me to eat a huge breakfast before that happens,” Cas said miserably.

“Oh, hon. I didn’t think about it like that,” Dean said sympathetically. He came around the table and gave Cas a kiss on the temple and wrapped him up in his arms, snickering a little at Cas comment.

“Don’t laugh Dean, it’s not funny,” Cas said as a smile escaped onto his lips as he buried his face in Dean’s neck. 

“I’m laughing with you not at you, babe,” Dean said, rubbing Cas’ back. “Go up and take your shower and we’ll get ready to go.”

Cas ate the last few bites of his yogurt and went up to take his shower while Dean and Eloise took care of the few dishes they had gotten dirty.  He carried her in one arm and packed the diaper bag with the other. He made sure they had extra of everything in case he could persuade Cas to go out to lunch. Cas’ appointment was at nine thirty and Dean wanted to go to Motherhood and the sushi place as kind of a celebration of how far they had come in the past few months. 

Cas came down in a pair of khakis and a blue nursing top.  He looked really good. He was back in regular pants even though he had a little tummy. Dean secretly loved that little tummy and forgave Cas for every time he had left a hickey on Dean’s little tummy. He totally got it now.  He hoped to return the favor and soon.

They loaded into the car, and headed to the clinic for the appointment. Dean could smell Cas’ nervousness and hated that he could not reach into the back seat to grab his hand. “Babe? You alright?” Dean asked looking in the rearview mirror.

Cas leaned forward and lovingly scratched the back of Dean’s head, “Just nervous like I said before.”

“What are you most worried about, sweetie? Can I help,” Dean offered.

“Oh you know, I hate the exam part. It’s just so invasive and uncomfortable, and that’s before you give birth. Now I really dread it. I expect it might be worse now, much worse.” Cas confided as he locked eyes with Dean in the mirror.

“Hopefully not, Cas, hopefully it will be just the same. Anyway, Ellen should clear you for work and stuff, right?” Dean tried to cheer up his husband.

“And stuff?” Cas repeated, quirking his eyebrow mockingly at Dean. “to what kind of _stuff_ are you referring?”

“Oh you know…lifting and exercising and stuff.” Dean explained trying to maintain an innocent tone.

“Yes, I am sure that’s the stuff you meant,” Cas teased. “Well we shall see…we shall see.”

Dean noticed that Cas’ scent sharpened and not necessarily in a pleasant way and he was looking out the window staring quietly for the next few minutes.

“Cas?” Dean called his husband from his thoughts and he turned to Dean and hummed a response, “Hmm?”

“You know just because we get the okay from Ellen that you can exercise doesn’t mean you have to go right out and take a run…you know that right…? I mean you might not want to go for that run for another few weeks and that would be okay with me. Not that I wouldn’t want you to go for a run whenever you want to and not that I haven’t really missed you going running…just-“

“I get it Dean, you shit!” Cas said smiling at read cheeked Dean in the mirror again. “I love you and your terrible little euphemisms. You’re a good husband Dean, and a fabulous Daddy.”

“I mean it babe, not until you are ready,” Dean said as he pulled into a parking spot in front of the clinic. 

Cas signed in and Dean held Eloise on his chest, snuggled into his neck. She was asleep and he hoped she would stay that way until Cas’ appointment was over. They took a seat in the waiting room and Dean took Cas’ hand to offer his support.  They got smiles as they looked around and they returned them proudly glancing at their sleeping baby on Dean’s chest.

Jo came out and called them after they waited about ten minutes.  Cas and Dean followed Jo back to an exam room and visited with her for a minute before she got own to business.  She asked Cas a round of questions about how he was feeling and about his healing after the birth.  Cas had no concerns when she asked, he thought he was feeling quite well. She weighed him and took notes in a computer and then grabbed some things off the counter handing them to Cas. 

“Okay here’s a gown, take off everything and put the gown on open in the front. There is a sheet to cover up a little and for the exam.  Get changed and flip the first light switch to et us know that you are ready, okay?” Jo asked.

“Just great, thanks,” Cas answered flatly.

“You sound thrilled, Cas,” she laughed as she opened the door. “It won’t be as bad as you are thinking, I promise.”

Cas started to take off his clothes and fold them on the chair. When he got his shirt and bra off, he put on the gown, overlapped the two sides and tied it shut. Then he slipped off his shoes, then his pants and boxers. He sat of the exam table and opened the sheet over his lap.

Dean felt terrible as Cas changed into the gown Jo gave him. He covered himself up quickly and sat on the table, his face drawn in heavy expectation.  Dean moved close to Cas and held him on the opposite shoulder of Eloise.

“I hate this Dean,” Cas complained. “I know babe, I’m sorry,” he kissed Cas on the forehead and then chastely on the lips. “Ready for me to flip the switch?”

Cas nodded resigned himself to getting the whole exam over with as quickly as he could.

Ellen came in shortly and greeted them both taking a really good look at her grandchild.  “She is so much damn cuter every day, isn’t she?” Ellen asked.

“We think so,” Cas said, “But we might be slightly biased.”

“Ha!” Ellen laughed. “Well your weight looks good and Jo says you’re not having any issues. If you don’t have any questions we can get started and send you on your way, how’s that sound.”

She patted Cas on the shoulder and had him lay back as she pulled the extension out on the end of the table to support his legs. She came around to the side and made sure Cas was covered with the sheet from the waist down. “I’ll start by examining your breasts, and then we will do the pelvic exam and pap smear,” she said as she untied the gown and exposed his right breast. She gently pressed in a circular motion around the entire breast and then gently squeezed his nipple. Cas jumped and Ellen apologized saying she was checking for inappropriate discharge but assured him she saw only milk. She asked him how breastfeeding was going and he told her that he enjoyed it and it was going well.

Just as Cas was finally settling down, Eloise began to fuss a little. Dean bounced her but had to let go of Cas’ hand for a minute.  Ellen went to open the other side of Cas’ gown and Eloise fussed a little more.

“I need to stop, please stop,” Cas said. “I can’t relax if she is upset. I don’t want to do this now.”

“I’m sorry Cas,” Dean soothed rubbing his shoulder . “She’s okay, I think she can just tell you’re nervous is all.”

“Can I reschedule, Ellen? I just can’t do this with her here, I’m sorry.” Cas asked, voice catching.

“I thought this might happen, Cas. How would you feel if I called Bobby to come hold her in the waiting room?” Ellen offered.

“How ‘bout it Cas?” Dean asked running his fingers through Cas hair.

Cas agreed to let Bobby take Eloise after both Ellen and Dean convinced him that he was already here and ready for the checkup.  Dean and Cas were surprised to find that Ellen had Bobby already waiting in her office just in case this happened.  He came in and took her, promising that he would bring her back if she was upset or crying. Cas needed a minute to relax again and Dean leaned over and hugged him.

Ellen completed the breast exam and then had Jo come in to assist with the pelvic exam. She had Cas scoot down to the end of the exam table and placed his feet in the stirrups.  Cas winced as Ellen inserted and opened the speculum to complete the pap smear. Dean held Cas hand and let him squeeze as hard as he needed.  Cas covered his eyes with his other arm and breathed like he did when he was in labor.

“Great job, Cas,” Ellen told him.  “Now just a manual exam and we will be done.”  She examined Cas gently, checking his cervix and uterus by combining her internal exam with pressure from the outside hand on his stomach. 

When she finished she gave Dean a towel to help clean off the gel and before he got dressed.  She said that Cas was healed and ready to go back to work and that they could resume their sexual relationship with no restrictions. She asked him if he wanted any birth control prescriptions or suppressants. Cas told her they were going to let fate take its course and if their family grew, they would welcome it. Dean couldn’t help but kiss Cas as he finished telling Ellen.  

 Cas asked when he could expect his first heat and Ellen told him that breast feeding omegas did not return to heats as soon as those that bottle fed their pups.  She suspected that when Eloise began solid foods and Cas wasn’t her sole source of nutrition, Cas would have a heat. She estimated in about three months, if they introduced cereal at four or five months. Cas was okay with that and Ellen told them to head to her office after Cas got dressed and then she left them.

Dean wiped Cas clean, he could tell that Cas was upset and just remained quiet as he helped Cas dress. Completely dressed Cas grabbed Dean and held him close scenting in his neck and trying to ground himself. He lost it for a brief moment and Dean held him tightly asking,  “You okay babe?”

Cas sighed heavily, breath catching, “I fucking hate this part of being an omega, even though it’s totally worth it in the end. Thank you for helping me, Dean. Now let’s go find Bumble Bee.”

They made their way to Ellen’s office to find Bobby on the couch with Eloise sound asleep on his chest. Dean called Bobby the baby whisperer as Cas picked her up and snuggled her closely inhaling her scent and rocking her, relieved to be finished with the checkup. 

“Everything okay?” Bobby asked patting Cas on the back.

“Yeah,” Cas said. “Everything is great.” They packed up and headed out to the impala to head home. Dean scrapped the idea of going to lunch, figuring Cas had been through enough this morning.  It was Cas who suggested that they stop by the coffee shop and see Gabe and have some lunch.

“You sure you’re up to it hon?” Dean asked.

“Yes, we are up to it, aren’t we baby girl?” He caught Dean’s eye in the mirror and continued, “And we need to tire this baby girl out today so Momma can take Daddy out for a run later tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are most welcome, thank you for reading and supporting this story as we get closer to fun times!


	33. Back in the Saddle Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas get frisky for the first time since the baby was born. Cas confirms a decision he made at his appointment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be a little food porny with a tub of Ben and Jerry's. I have been having a little block with this story, so I am sorry for the delay in posting. Rally the troops, I need some encouragement. Help me get past this rough spot. I am not completely happy with this but I needed to put something out so...

Dean sat nervously on the couch flipping through channels that weren’t even registering. He felt like a teenager all over again before he and Cas had mated and knotted for the first time. He had been replaying Cas’ comment to Eloise about taking Daddy for a run later that night. He felt so stupid, he knew by the glint in Cas’ eye in the rearview mirror that he meant it facetiously, but Cas hadn’t said anything since then. Dean would be fine either way…no that was a lie. Dean wanted Cas in ways he couldn’t say out loud with Eloise in the house. He would truly understand and respect Cas’ wishes if he was not ready yet and he had told Cas that. Cas however had turned Dean’s analogy into his tongue in cheek comment.

Now he was sweating on his own couch, over a snarky comment made by his own husband and mate. He didn’t want Cas to think that he expected him to bend over and take his knot just because Ellen had said it was okay to have sex. But on the other hand, he didn’t want Cas to think that he was avoiding approaching him because he wasn’t in the same shape as before Eloise. Christ, Cas was hot no matter what shape he was in.   Dean was fucked and he knew it. This, he berated himself, was why he was supposed to be an Omega. He was not cut out for this in charge shit!  He sat and hoped to hell that Cas would make his wishes known so that Dean didn’t hurt his feelings.

He heard Cas walking down the stairs, they had started out tip toeing every time Eloise was asleep but then Dean read that if you are too quiet the baby will wake for every sound or never be able to fall asleep when it was noise. So they proceeded with their regular lives when she slept, no more quiet feet and vacuumed and played music, etc. to condition her to the sounds. Dean knew it would never work in their family if Eloise couldn’t sleep through noise.  

Cas had changed into pajama pants and a t shirt, it was already eight after all and they wouldn’t be going anywhere. He passed behind the couch and headed to the kitchen. “She sleeping?” Dean asked awkwardly after him, it was obvious she was or Cas wouldn’t be downstairs.

“Yep, no thanks to you and your nervous smell there Daddy. Jesus, Dean I don’t know what smells better the sweet nerves or your arousal,” Cas said as he leaned over Dean handing him a frozen tub or Ben and Jerry’s Red Velvet Cake and one spoon.

“It’s the delicious kind of nervous, you know...the kind that smells like the perfect roasted marshmallow, not the scorched kind,” he continued as his free hands slid down Dean’s t shirt and scraped his nipples, causing Dean to suck in a breath. Dean leaned his head back to look at Cas and received a filthy kiss in return followed by a series of wet kisses and nips along his neck. Dean’s breaths came roughly and he cradled Cas’ head running his fingers through the wonderful dark mess that was Cas’ hair. Dean couldn’t help but smile through some of the kisses.  “Cas, I want you to know that I could wait…if you needed…or wanted me to, I could…I would,” Dean reassured Cas through ragged breaths. 

“I’ll tell you what you’re going to do, alpha…” he whispered his command into Dean’s ear, in the tone that always shot right between Dean’s legs, “You’re going to feed us this tub of Red Velvet and then you’re going to satisfy all of our urges, how does that sound, hmmm?”  Cas continued to stroke his hands up and down Dean’s chest and nip at his ear and the spot just behind it.

Dean could hardly collect himself enough to answer and when he did, his voice cracked…twice, “Sounds like a plan…” The next things Dean knew, he had a lap full of Cas who had flipped himself over the back of the couch. Dean held him cradled one arm under his shoulders, one arm under the knees, still holding the spoon and the ice cream in those same hands, because Cas had not said he could put them down. He kissed Cas urgently, wet and messy, breaking for air after every kiss. Cas still did this to him, worked him into a frenzy with just his voice and his lips, it was so dizzying.

Cas told Dean to open the ice cream as he sat up and straddled his lap.  “We have maybe two and a half hours, Dean. Let’s make the best of them, alright?” Cas more ordered than asked as he kissed Dean roughly, tongue thrusting into his mouth. Dean groaned and dropped the spoon, scrambling to get the lid of the tub of ice cream. He yanked his head back for a desperate breath and laughed, “Who are you and what have you done with my husband?” Cas just smiled sweetly but this side of sinister as well.

The first bite of red velvet Dean spooned into his mouth caused Cas to emit a visceral moan and grind his hips down into Dean’s lap. Pie may have been Dean’s Achilles’ heel, but ice cream was Cas’.  Dean moaned as their groins rubbed against one another. Each bite of ice cream brought on more rutting and grinding, then kisses and soft strokes against the bare skin of arms and faces.

When it was gone, Cas pushed Dean flat onto his back on the couch and remained straddling his lap.  He leaned over and tenderly pressed their lips together as he slid his hands under the t shirt Dean was wearing.  He brushed his fingers up and down Dean’s chest circling his nipples with each pass. Dean lay with his head back and eyes closed resting his hands on Cas’ thighs while Cas stroked his chest. He sucked in a sharp breath each and every time Cas circled his hardened nipples.

When Cas pulled the shirt up and over Dean’s head, his muscles were loose like jello.  Cas leaned over Dean grinding their hips together and then gave his full attention to Dean’s nipples with wet open mouth kisses.  Dean moaned and bucked upwards each time Cas sucked on them. Cas knew Dean loved this kind of foreplay, he knew what it did to his husband when he lavished time and attention to this part of Dean. Dean was hard and Cas’ grinding and kisses were maddening. He sat up and pulled Cas close to him so their chests were touching. Dean’s eyes flew open as through Cas’ shirt he could feel his husband’s chest brush his. “What have we here, Cas? No bra tonight?” Cas didn’t answer with words, but slowly pulled his own shirt off over his head leaving the two of them bare chest to bare chest. Dean could not remember the last time they were like this and he looked into Cas’ eyes hoping to convey how much it meant to him.

It must have worked because Cas looked back and said, “I love you too Dean.” 

Dean could not help but look carefully at Cas’ chest. He looked different that a woman who breastfed. He looked like he had been lifting weights but when Dean touched they were not as firm as regular muscle felt. They kissed and Dean returned the favor Cas had paid him earlier by carefully kissing and sucking his nipples as well. Cas arched into Dean’s mouth breathing raggedly and guiding Dean’s mouth back and forth across his chest.  Dean could feel Cas’ slick leaking onto his lap and he thrust upward, seeking the heat.  Cas groaned and held Dean’s face in his hands, speaking quietly, “Take me to bed Dean.” 

“You sure babe?” Dean answered. “Please Dean? I am so sure.” Cas reassured him, standing up off of Dean’s lap. Dean stood with him and the two walked up to their bedroom. Cas grabbed a towel from the bathroom so they wouldn’t have to change the sheets in the night when Eloise woke up.  There were more things to think about and sex may not be as spontaneous, but Dean was happy that Cas was so relaxed about the whole thing.  They undressed each other quickly and within a few kisses, they were breathing heavily and ready for more. 

Cas laid Dean down on his back and laid on top of him, sliding their hard cocks together. “Babe, let me take care of you tonight, okay? I want it to be really good for you,” Dean whispered against Cas’ lips. He rolled Cas on his side and lay facing him.   He pulled Cas’ knee over his hip pulling him close and stroked up and down his side. Cas urging his hips forward was Dean’s sign to keep going.  He ran his hand down over Cas ass and slipped his fingers into Cas’ slick. They both gasped when Dean’s fingers slid in so easily. Cas did not make as much slick when he wasn’t in heat, but he was certainly wet enough for Dean to be inside him. Dean always made sure to stretch Cas just a little when he wasn’t in heat, just to be sure he didn’t hurt him. 

Cas was writhing and begging by the time Dean eased them both so Cas was laying on top of Dean again.  He urged Cas to raise up and be in control of the first time they fucked so that they could minimize Cas’ discomfort.  Cas eased up and slowly, oh so slowly, he took in Dean’s cock. He stopped at times backing out and trying again, Dean concerned every time he did, “Careful Cas, take your time love.” He moaned as Cas seated himself lower every try, but held perfectly still so Cas felt in control and whispered encouragements to him. Finally Cas was fully seated on Dean with his head thrown back, hands on Dean’s waist for support. “Dean, I want to lay down…I want you to lay me down and fuck me now,” Cas gasped out. “Alright Cas, okay babe,” Dean soothed Cas as he helped him lay on his back.  Cas willingly drew his knees up towards his chest, pulling Dean towards himself.  Shaking with eagerness and a little concern, he took the time to look at Cas’ opening to make sure he was okay and not hurt. He settled in between Cas’ legs staying up on his elbows so he didn’t put too much weight on Cas.

Cas looked up at Dean and smiled, “I’m not fragile, Dean. I’m not hurt either, now get up here.”

Dean smiled back, relaxing a little and framing Cas’ face with his arms. They kissed and touched stroking each other’s cocks until they were desperate. “Now Dean…now,” Cas panted.

Dean lined himself up and pushed into Cas controlling his movements but not his moans. Cas was equally gone and laughed, saying they sounded like bad porn. They began to relax and enjoy the intimacy now that they both knew Cas was okay. Dean began with slow easy thrusts until Cas wrapped his legs around him urging him deeper and faster. “Dean, more…yes, yes…” Cas cried out. Dean fucked into Cas savoring the tight wet heat and the sounds Cas was making. Cas’ hands were everywhere; up and down Dean’s back, grabbing his ass and pulling Dean in harder, up the back of his neck and head running his hands through Dean’s hair. Mouths smashed together, tongues tasting anything within reach, moans were swallowed as the two rocked together, pressure building. 

Dean could feel his knot swelling and Cas was bucking up to meet every thrust Dean gave him. They were beautiful together in bed, like it was meant to be. Cas must have sensed the change in Dean because he began to cant his hips even further, declaring,  “I want it Dean…I want you to knot me.”

Dean wasn’t sure they should, he didn’t want Cas to be sore the next morning, so he told Cas, “Maybe not this time, babe. Don’t want to do too much the first time.”

“Please Dean! Please, I’m fine…I need to feel you Dean…” Cas insisted. “I’m so close Dean, I need it.”

Dean was so moved by Cas’ emotional plea that he let go of his concerns and held Cas as close to him as he could while still reaching between them. He stroked Cas cock and rocked further and further into his beautiful husband as he cried out words that made no sense, but meant everything in the world. Just as Cas went into his blissful orgasm, Dean came as well and thrust his knot into Cas, locking the two together exhausted and happy.

It was always a little awkward to be knotted together face to face but they found a comfortable position and enjoyed the quiet time alone with each other. Cas grew pensive and placed his arm over his face, turning from Dean, which meant he was getting emotional. “Hey Cas, talk to me,” Dean encouraged, kissing Cas softly on the neck. He heard Cas sniff holding in a sob. “Come on sweetheart, are you alright? Tell me why you’re upset.”

“I hate that I cry all the time. I’m perfectly fine, honest. I’m not upset, and I enjoyed this very much,” Cas reassured Dean. “It’s actually quite silly,” he laughed and turned his face to Deans. “I was just thinking…I almost didn’t have her, you know. We almost adopted or got a surrogate and every time I hold her I thank whatever being is out in the universe that I did,” His eyes filled again spilling over. “What if I had said no? Where would she be right now? Would she be with someone else or out there floating?”

“Oh Cas, honey…” Dean soothed wiping Cas tears with his thumb.

“See, it’s silly,” Cas restated. “I think these sappy things that I never used to but this one is real, Dean. Are there more of our babies floating around somewhere waiting for us to have them?”

“I don’t think it works that way, babe,” Dean said smiling at Cas.

“Well, I think it does and I cannot believe how much time I’ve wasted. I’m changed since Eloise, Dean. I know it was very hard on you, I wasn’t always nice to you. But, I am better for having her and I’m happy Dean. You asked me a few months ago before we had her if I was happy, and I couldn’t really answer. Well I can now. You and Eloise let me feel happy, truly happy.”

“That’s so great, Cas. You and Eloise make me happy too.” Dean said as he cupped Cas’ cheek and kissed him sweetly.

“I want more, Dean. I want to try right away. We have a lot of lost time to make up for and our babies are waiting to be born.”

“Okay Cas, if you’re ready, then I am too. I’ll love as many babies as you want to have for us. Now get some sleep before the one we do have wakes up.”

“I love you Dean,” Cas said holding Dean’s face. “I really love you.”

“I love you too, Cas. Though I still think our babies aren’t floating around out there,” Dean stated.

“They could be and they could be hearing you,” Cas snarked back.

“Go to sleep Cas, you nut!”

And if Cas woke later when Eloise did and told her all about her brothers and sisters that were coming, Dean didn’t need to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are welcome and needed at this point. I have lots to write but it is stuck...


	34. Hit Me With Your Best Shot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean bring Eloise for her eight week check up and they all go through some unavoidable pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know vaccines are controversial right now. This is not a political statement or forum. It is just me writing a fan fic based on some of my experiences, one of which is having to help hold my babies while they got shots. The end.
> 
> Prepare for owies!

Garth’s office was full of patients waiting to be seen as Cas and Dean signed in with Eloise.  She was eight weeks old and she was getting a well check up and her first shots.  Cas had taken the morning off from work to come with Dean to the appointment. The beauty of owning your own auto restoration garage was that it was the type of business that let you have a morning off to witness the first traumatic event of your child’s life, at least that was what Dean told Cas that morning. Cas had told Dean he might be exaggerating just a tad, but the truth was that both of them were trying desperately not to fill the room with the scent of fear.

They focused on their sweet baby girl who was oblivious as to the day’s events and so far the trepidation of her parents. She looked as adorable and charming as she usually did in a vintage style baby doll dress.  The fabric was a cream color based floral print with a lawn of tiny pink, almost red flowers. It had a rounded peter pan style color and little cap sleeves, with a delicately smocked front, a full skirt and matching bloomers.  Cas had put little cream colored socks and red fabric shoes on her fat little feet, it had been a bit of a struggle but they seemed to be staying on. Dean untied her white bonnet as Cas held her and revealed the latest tiny Velcro bow in her hair. They had discovered them at Motherhood, tiny bows with a folded piece of Velcro that didn’t pull her precious baby hair or hurt her little soft spot. Both Cas and Dean were quite proficient with scooping all of the dark hair that she had left on top of her hair, she had lost most of her baby fluffy ducky hair, and twisting the strands with spit into a little stalk that would hold one of the Velcro barrettes. It was worth the effort to see it in her hair and they both puffed a little with pride when the other mothers ooohed and aaaaahed at the very sight of the precious baby with the tiny hair bow.

Eloise was a truly happy baby and smiled all the time now. She had little fat rolls on her arms and legs, so they knew she was gaining weight and she was awake longer during the day mostly taking a long morning and afternoon nap instead of sleeping and getting up every two or three hours.  They had settled into quite a routine at home and at work.  Dean fed her a morning bottle of Cas’ milk and an afternoon bottle as well, but they almost always brought Cas lunch at work and he would nurse her as he ate. If they didn’t go to him, Cas came home to them.  He did pump once on the morning and once on the afternoon to keep the freezer full for emergencies and as Jess had warned him, for heats. Though he would be able to pump and nurse during the quiet times of his heat, it would require a lot of coordination and guesswork as to times. Both Cas and Dean had cared for Henry during Jess’ heats and it was easier all around to just bottle feed and have Jess pump, so they would probably do the same when Cas had his heats.

They were cooing and making faces at Eloise who was entranced by her parent’s behavior when Anna called them to their appointment.  They had to undress her leaving on the diaper only so that Anna could weigh and measure her. Cas held her in her diaper covered with a receiving blanket, thank you Dean for researching how to make appointments more bearable for your baby, and handed her to Anna with a smile of reassurance to be laid carefully on the scale. Anna asked them how they were doing since she had seen them last and made small talk as she removed her diaper quickly and got her weight and replaced the diaper before any _incidents_ occurred. She lifted still happy Eloise onto the exam table and asked Dean to hold her head as she made  pencil marks on the paper covering the table at the top of Eloise’s head and the sole of her foot as Anna stretched her leg straight. She measured between the two marks and then measured the circumference of her head as well. Then she took her temperature and asked Dean and Cas if they had an concerns or questions.  The couple did not have any concerns, but wanted to be sure that she was developing properly. Anna smiled finishing her notes and told them that Garth would be in shortly.

Dean held Eloise and she snuggled into his chest, wrapped in the blanket, not realizing what was coming her way. Cas loved that Dean was such a detail person when it came to researching milestones and medical issues. He had fully researched immunizations and made them both aware of the controversies, but they were getting Eloise her shots and felt that was the best decision for their little girl. Dean was ready with all the tricks of the trade in regards to how to make this easier on her. He had the blanket for warmth while she was undressed, he had Tylenol waiting in the bag, and they had delayed her feeding until after the shots so that she could nurse immediately for comfort. He had also read that you should have your baby completely dressed before they give the shots so that when it was over you weren’t trying to dress an upset baby.

The little family was sitting together chatting when Garth knocked and entered the exam room.  “How’s the little bumble bee doing since I saw her last?”

“Just great,” Cas answered for them both.

“Is she still keeping you up all hours of the night or are you finally getting some sleep? You both look a little more human this time,” Garth laughed as he asked.

“We are getting more sleep for sure, but not like we used to. Cas is back at work, so I get up and change her and bring her to bed for him to nurse. We’re surviving for sure, she’s such a good baby,” Dean offered proudly.

“Sounds great. Now let’s take a quick look and then we’ll talk about the main event.” Garth put his arms out for the baby and Dean willingly hander her to him. Garth was fantastic with Eloise and they were both comfortable with their decision to have him as her Pediatrician. Garth started at her head, carefully feeling her head to check her fontanels and her head shape, he checked her eyes and ears and asked how they thought she was seeing and hearing and if they had noticed a lack of response to voice or things she should see. They told him she seemed fine. He continued to her abdomen and felt her belly telling them he was checking for a hernia or organ issues, but found nothing of concern. He rotated her hips and checked her diaper area asking about bowel movements, and if they were they still soft and frequent.  He also checked her reflexes and listened to her heart and lungs. 

“She looks really well guys. No concerns here at all. Now she is scheduled for immunizations today. Do you have any questions about those?” Garth asked as he handed back the baby.

“No, we’ve done our research and discussed it. We are ready to have them done. I brought Tylenol but wanted to ask how much to give her, if you think we should,” Dean asked as Cas cuddled Eloise.

“How much does she weigh?” Cas asked.

“Oh I’m sorry, I forgot to talk with you about how much she has grown.  She weighs nine pounds five ounces and she is twenty two inches long. That means she gained twenty five ounces since her last appointment and has grown two inches since birth. That’s just perfect. It also means that you should give her half a dropper of Tylenol. If you let me have it, I will confirm the dosage and you can give it to her.” Garth said as Dean reached into the diaper bag for the medication.

Garth opened the box and examined the bottle and the dropper, showing Dean. “Yes, half a dropper, see here. Give her a dose now and keep track of the time so that you can give it to her again in four hours. I would give her the two doses and then play it by ear. If she is fussy or runs a fever, dose her again and don’t be afraid to give it every four hours for the next couple of days. When she sleeps she won’ take it so you shouldn’t exceed the allotted doses. Just make sure she nurses or bottle feeds like she normally does. If her fever gets high and stays high, I want to know about it. But if you give her Tylenol and her fever reduces and she still eats, she should be fine. Alright?”

“What’s high for a fever?” Dean asked. Cas continued to snuggle and coo at Eloise, though Dean could start sense his concern.

“If she get higher that 100.5 and Tylenol doesn’t bring it down, you need to call us so we can help you track it. It may be nothing, but we will all feel better if we talk about what’s happening.” Garth reassured them. “Have you ever taken a baby’s temperature?”

“Yes, we have taken Henry’s temp several times, even rectally, when he, Sam and Jess had a bad stomach bug at the same time,” Dean shook his head at the memory.

“Good, I want you to take it rectally if she runs a fever. Do you have the right kind of thermometer?”

“Dean’s got three thermometers in the baby’s medical kit, he’s very thorough and modest. He has taken temps, not me. He’s gonna have to do a little training with me so I can do it as well,” Cas told Garth.

“Okay, give her half a dropper of Tylenol and Anna will be right in,” Garth instructed.

Cas got Eloise dressed as Dean measured out the medicine. He told Cas to lay her back but to the side and he touched her lip with the dropper. She was hungry so she sucked the medicine into her mouth and swallowed it before she knew what it was. Dean could not help but snap a photo of the face she made. She looked offended in the worst of ways and squinted, just like Cas. She squawked a little but calmed when Cas shuffled her around a bit.  

Anna came in commenting that they must have done their research since she was dressed and ready to go. Usually she had to tell parents to dress them so they weren’t dressing a screaming baby. Cas was so proud of Dean and made his husband blush when he told Anna what a wonderful father Dean was. Anna laid out two shots and an oral vaccine. She needed one of them to help hold her and they decided on Dean so that Cas could be ready to nurse her the second she was done.  She had Dean put one hand on her tummy and the other hand holding her legs straight by the ankles.

“This is gonna be really fast so don’t let go until I tell you to, alright?” Anna coached Dean. “You gonna be okay Daddy?”

“Yep, let’s go,” Dean told her, glancing back to Cas who looked green, but was opening the flap on his nursing top and unclipping one side of his bra.

Like lightening, Anna slipped Eloise the oral vaccine and then Dean’s stomach dropped as she squeezed Eloise’s right thigh, gently popping the needle in and hitting the plunger. Just as Eloise was scrunching her face and preparing to react, Anna repeated it on the left thigh. Eloise’s eyes flew open wide and her bottom lip wavered and pouted as she let out a pitiful, yet sharp wail of agony and surprise. Anna was on to applying band aids to both legs when Cas shot up out of his chair at the sound Eloise made.

“Okay, she’s all yours,” Anna said gathering her supplies and saying genuinely, “Sorry little one, I know that wasn’t fun.”

 Dean had her off the table and in Cas’ arms before Anna finished her apology. “Sit Cas,” he said as he helped Cas back into the chair. Cas was offering a hysterical Eloise his breast, but she was too upset to realize it yet. Cas patted her bottom and cupped the back of her head to his breast brushing her cheek hoping to trigger her rooting reflex. She must have felt it because she finally turned and latched on for dear life, nursing and making little whimpering noises. Her hand, scrunched into a little fist came up by her face to rest on his chest. Cas leaned into Dean as she nursed desperately. Every once in a while she would let go for a second and let loose a heartbreaking wail and they would try to comfort her, “It’s alright, baby girl, Momma’s here, Momma’s sorry,” Cas shushed her softly, patting her bottom, careful of her legs.  When she latched back on Cas would glance sadly up at Dean, eyes full of tears looking for reassurance.

“She’ll be okay Cas, you’re doing great. She feels so much better when you’re holding her and she’s nursing,” Dean said as he did his best to comfort his little family. It took about half an hour of nursing and a few tears from all of them, but they were finally ready to get Eloise home.  They emerged from the exam rooms into the lobby red eyed and still upset to the sympathetic eyes of the other parents in the waiting area, clearly no one had missed her piercing wails. Dean checked them out as Cas rocked Eloise to and fro, cooing to her sweetly. She kept her eyes closed and whimpered around the binky Cas had given her to let her suck on for comfort. “That’s it sweet girl, Momma and Daddy love you…it’s gonna feel better soon.”

Dean came over and kissed Cas on the cheek, “Ready Momma? Let’t go sweet baby girl.” Cas nodded and Dean put his arm around his husband and daughter as he took them home.

Like clockwork, Dean gave Eloise the Tylenol four hours later to keep her comfortable.  When they got home from the appointment, Eloise vomited everything she had nursed from Cas all over herself and him. Dean had read that it was common from swallowing so much air when crying and nursing.  Cas just nursed her again and laid down with her for a while on the couch. They kept her downstairs in her cradle to sleep instead of her crib so they could keep a closer eye on her. Cas found Dean making lunch in the kitchen and crying.

“Dean? Honey, are you okay?,” he pulled Dean away from the sandwiches and into a hug.

 “It was just awful,” he cried on Cas’ shoulder. “I hated hearing her so upset, you know?”

“I know it Dean, I know,” he stroked his hand up and down Dean’s back. “You were so brave when we were at the office. You were so good to us, I had no idea you were this upset. I love you Dean, you’re such a good Daddy.”

Cas didn’t go back to work that day, but he did the next and Dean helped Eloise through her sore thighs until her Momma could get home. He filled out all of her eight week check up information in her bumble bee baby book that they now kept right on the coffee table. They spent the evenings cuddling and spoiling Miss Eloise and they didn’t care one bit. The only thing they never figured out was what hurt worse, getting the shots or watching Eloise get them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well as usual, I would love to hear from you about how the boys and Eloise are doing...


	35. Unexpected Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Domestic fluff and a teensy bit of angst, sort of...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a struggle to write, I toyed with how to introduce this back into their lives. I hope you like it.

Cas was standing in the kitchen pouring more dressing on the pasta salad and stirring while a very adamant Eloise nursed. Whenever Cas had pictured himself as a parent it wasn’t like this, human pacifier to an adorable baby who had learned to demand her momma’s attention when she knew she could get it. It was Eloise’s three month mini birthday(well plus two days so it would be a Friday and not a Wednesday) and Sam, Jess and baby Henry were coming for dinner as well as Bobby and Ellen. Gabriel was already out back helping Dean with the grill and it was Cas job to keep the little birthday bee happy and check on the cold food.

The door bell rang and Cas yelled that it was open, not even causing his breast feeding daughter to flinch. She had gotten used to their busy lifestyle quickly and seemed to revel in it.  When Cas was home which was usually about four thirty, Eloise was in his arms or close by.  She had adapted well to being with Dean during the day and they enjoyed their time together, but everyone they loved had learned not to mess with Cas and Eloise’s evening routine.  Right now she was where she liked it best attached and suckling away, later when they ate she would be in the sling held closely to his body, Cas looking like a stock picture of a hippie parent in any 1970’s commune, and he loved it.

Cas finished stirring the salad and put in back in the fridge and went to go greet whomever was coming in the front door. Sam, Jess and Henry had arrived with their contribution for dinner, corn which Dean was going to grill and they were going to later slather with chili butter, one of Jess’ specialties. 

“Hey other Winchester family,” Cas said as he hugged Jess and kissed Henry.

“Hello, human pacifier,” Sam shot back as he gave Cas a quick hug with the arm that wasn’t carrying corn. “Grillers out back?” he asked as he walked toward the kitchen.

“Yep, and I think they are already a little tipsy and in rare form,” Cas warned. “Don’t be afraid to cut them off until dinner.

Jess and Cas went into the living room where he had already laid out a blanket for the babies to play on.  “Alright, that’s enough eating for now,” Cas gently told Eloise as he removed her from his breast and laid her on the blanket on her back. She was going to protest until she saw nine month old Henry sitting up next to her and then her little arms and legs began to move and kick with excitement. Her gorgeous blue eyes were as big as saucers as Henry waved his arms up and down hitting his own legs, equally as glad to see her.  Henry was taken care of by Jess’ mom, but now that Dean had the hang of Eloise, sometimes when she was busy he had both the babies. Those nights Cas brought home takeout and helped Dean clean up the aftermath of the day spent keeping up with the two cousins. 

It was a fine line between the cousins getting to know one another and Eloise losing an eye, so the two mothers sat on the carpet with the babies and redirected with toys and repositioning. Cas loved that Eloise and Henry would grow up together and secretly Jess and Cas were making plans to time all of the future Winchesters so that they all had close cousins.

The door bell rang again and Cas went to let in Ellen and Bobby leaving Jess on eyeball guard duty. Ellen took Cas’ position and helped with the babies while Bobby brought in the dutch oven of baked beans and then followed Cas out to check on the men manning the grill. Dean had gone all out making ribs instead of the usual burgers or steaks and Cas couldn’t wait to eat.

“Hey Bobby, just in time. I’m about to pull these off,” he stopped to hug his father and then grab the platter.

“’bout ready inside, babe?” Dean asked as he kissed Cas, a little dirty, but not too obvious.

“We will be in about 5 minutes. Turn the grill off and let those sit while Ellen and I finish the table,” Cas said over his shoulder as he headed back inside.

Cas and Ellen made quick work of getting the food on the already set, large dining room table. Apparently the entertaining bug was contagious because Cas had grown to love it as much as Dean did over the years they were together. Gabriel and Cas did not have the luxury of family get-togethers like Dean and Sam had grown up with, but they had the love of the brothers so it was easy to build on that foundation.

They guys came in with the grilled corn and ribs and Ellen brought Eloise and Jess brought in Henry, whom she placed in Cas’ highchair for dinner. Jess had objected at first when Cas had offered to let them use the chair at the gatherings, siting that Eloise should be the first Winchester to use it, but Cas said that was silly and he was glad to have Henry use it. Sam was certainly glad not to have to haul a highchair in for every family event. Cas took Eloise and flipped the sling over his head and one shoulder. He slipped her into place and discreetly let her nurse while they all filled their plates. Dean helped Cas when he needed it, the two had mealtime down to a slick science.

Bobby not usually one for sharing his thoughts, raised his glass as they were all about to get started and gave a short toast “To our littlest Winchester, named for the prettiest lady I know. I wouldn’t have imagined years ago that you would be here and now I can’t imagine us without you.”

“Thank you Bobby,” Dean said softly and Bobby nodded at him and then Cas, who smiled back genuinely. Cas looked down into the sling at sweet nursing Eloise and thought about Bobby’s words and how true they rang.

 

*******

The rest of September flew by and neither Cas nor Dean could believe that Halloween was already approaching.  There was no question what Eloise would be for Halloween, they had purchased the most adorable bee costume online the minute they found it. The question was, what they would dress as to go along with her look. Dean was pretty sure that the costumes he had picked out would be perfect, so his hit the order button and closed the laptop. Eloise was due to be up from her morning nap and Cas was coming home for lunch today because he hadn’t been feeling well when he left for work that morning and he wanted to lay down with Eloise at lunch time. There were still about two hours until Cas’ lunch time so Dean took the switched the laundry over and started another load.

When he heard the front door open a few minutes later, he was surprised, but not alarmed that Cas was home early.  “You’re early sweetheart,” Dean called from the laundry room, before emerging with a basket of Eloise’s clothes to be folded.

“Yeah, still feeling kinds shitty, thought I’d lay down on the couch for a while,” Cas answered from the front hall where he was hanging up his coat and removing his boots. “She still sleepin’,” he asked not seeing Eloise downstairs.

“In her crib,” Dean stated as he set down the laundry basket to take a look at his husband. “Ooh babe, you look kinda green, maybe you are sick.”

“I’ll be fine, just need a nap and I’ll bounce right back. Eloise was up a few times last night, and nursed fussy. Maybe we both have a little bug or virus.”

“Could be. Jess said Henry was off the other day, nothing major though,” Dean added as he kissed Cas and then turned to fold the laundry. Cas loved to watch Dean fold and snap Eloise’s clothes and blankets. He would tell Cas that he had the whitest whites at the OOPS meetings. Dean had joined the Omegas of PreSchoolers despite some objections to his alpha status. He quickly won over the majority of the moms in the group, much to Becky Shirley’s chagrin and had made a friend, a male omega named Victor Henrickson. Cas was glad that Dean was finally getting to be the stay at home parent he always wanted to be, and he was so good at it. They were finally in synch with what their hearts wanted and no longer felt ruled by their bodies. It was a wonderful liberating feeling.

Eloise woke and Dean she could smell Cas a mile away even if you clothes pinned her nose. He went to get her because Cas had fallen asleep, and she was not happy that Dean had come when she knew Cas was in the house. She gave him the same squinty stink eye that Cas had given him over the years when Dean had been in the doghouse for this or that. “I know baby girl, Momma’s home. I’ll just change you and bring you to him, alright. Momma doesn’t feel good, so take it easy today, okay?”

Eloise blinked her baby blues at him and didn’t even fuss when Dean had to change her entire outfit because she had soaked through everything during her nap. “Lord, you sure can pee like a racehorse when you sleep,” he said as he cleaned her bottom with a wipe.

“Now is that any way to talk to my sweet bumble bee,” Cas cooed from the doorway.

“Jesus, Cas, don’t sneak up like that,” Dean squeaked as Cas startled him. He put her in a soft pink pant set with an elephant on the front. It read; Be Careful, I remember everything! on the long sleeved shirt. Cas took her from Dean and went into their bedroom to lay down and let her nurse. She was glad to see Cas and he little arms and legs went a mile a minute.

“I’ll make us some lunch, babe. We can eat up here.” Dean said as he trotted down the stairs to the kitchen. When he returned, Cas had switched Eloise to the other breast but was sound asleep. It wasn’t like Cas to sleep like this during the day anymore so Dean let him sleep and ate his turkey sandwich, keeping an eye on Eloise and she happily suckled away. He picked her up when she had nursed long enough and pulled a blanket up over his sleeping husband. He put Eloise in her swing and she played happily, rocking away while he wrapped Cas’ sandwich and cleaned up the kitchen. 

He called Ash at the garage to see if Cas had any appointments or things that couldn’t wait and was glad to hear that his afternoon had just been paperwork, but nothing urgent. He explained about Cas and Ash told him to let him sleep, they would be fine for the afternoon.

Cas slept until dinner and was a little upset when he came down and realized that Dean had let him sleep all afternoon, but Dean shushed him and told him that he wouldn’t have slept if he didn’t need it. In the end Cas let it go and nursed Eloise as he ate the chicken and dumplings Dean had made for dinner.  He seemed to feel better after dinner and they took Eloise for a walk before it got dark. She looked adorable in her cable knit sweater and infamous white eyelet bonnet.  They went back before the bugs came out and spent the evening watching TV and eating ice cream.  Eloise fussed a little more than normal in her sling so Dean put her in her swing and that seemed to do the trick. It wasn’t long after Eloise went to bed that Cas gave up and let Dean tuck him in.  

When Cas didn’t hear Eloise in the night, Dean let him sleep and warmed a bottle, pushing his concern to the back of his mind. Cas could have a little bug without it being a major deal. Dean brought the baby to Cas for the second feeding because he knew Cas’ breasts would be too full if he didn’t nurse at least once in the night. Cas startled a little when Dean woke him but said he felt better and nursed Eloise before falling back to sleep.

The next morning Cas seemed to be back to himself. He spent his early morning time with Eloise and then went happily off to work.

Dean cell phone rang when he scrubbing the toilet in the downstairs bathroom. He kept scrubbing and planned to answer it when he took off his gloves. When the call went to voicemail and immediately rang again, he begrudgingly took off the gloves and fished the phone out of his back pocket. It was Bobby and Dean figured there was a difficulty with a trick engine or paint job. He hit the screen dialing Bobby back.

“Hey Bobby, what’s up?” Dean asked with minimal concern. Bobby often called him for a consult or even to come in and help with a picky client or fussy project and Cas would keep Eloise in the office with him for an hour or two.

“Your boy alright when he left this morning” Bobby asked getting right to the point.

“Cas? Yeah he was feeling better today, seemed fine. What’ going on Bobby? Is Cas okay,” Dean asked concern creeping in quickly.

“Well he shut himself in his office and hasn’t come out and he smells off to all of us here.”

Just then Dean got a second call beeping in and it was Cas. “He’s calling me now, Bobby, gotta hang up,” Dean fired off quickly as he ended his call with Bobby. He hit accept and answered, “Heya Cas.”

He didn’t hear his voice but he could hear Cas breathing and he nearly shouted, “Cas, are you okay?”

“Deeean…,” Cas sounded like he was not well. He needed to get Bobby in that office right away to check on him. He called Bobby on the house phone and told him Cas sounded sick in his office.

“Cas, honey, open the door for Bobby and I‘ll be right there, okay. Are you sick again?” he talked to Cas as he threw together the diaper bag and scooped Eloise from her cradle gently trying to keep her asleep. When he got no response, but could hear Bobby knocking on the door, he spoke louder and more firmly, “Cas open that damn door and let Bobby in.”

“I can’t Dean, can’t,” Cas said weakly.

Dean was scared now, “Babe, why can’t you? Are you too sick to get up?” his voice begged Cas for an answer.

“’m hot Dean, so hot…need you,” Cas cried as he answered his husband.

Dean was halfway out the door when the puzzle pieces began to fit together. Not feeling well, feeling tired, Eloise fussing around him, smelling off, all set off alarms, but it was Cas voice that slipped the final piece in place. It was need he could hear in his words but especially his tone. It was need that neither of them were expecting for another couple of months.

Cas was locked in his office and for the first time since he had gotten pregnant with Eloise, he was in heat…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, smut is coming.
> 
> This will be a bit of a struggle for Cas at first. Think happy thoughts for him...he may need them.


	36. Doesn't the Early Bird Get Something?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas is early and he gets something alright! Dean helps Cas through his first heat after having Eloise. It isn't easy at first, but it all works out in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made up all the omega medical stuff as usual to suit my fancy.

Dean pulled into the parking lot at the garage, not remembering any portion of the drive.  He heard nothing but _mate, mate, mate_ , whoosh in his ears as his pulse pounded in his brain   He unsnapped Eloise’ car seat from its base and charged into the lobby of Singer and Winchester Auto Restoration. He needed to get to Cas, quickly. Benny met him and took Eloise and the diaper bag telling Dean he had called Sam and Jess to let them know what was happening.  Dean nodded a simple response and walked past him to Cas’ office and found the door still locked.

“Cas?” Dean called through the door trying to remain calm. “Cas, honey, I’m here…Can you let me in, babe?”  Dean was answered by the sound of Cas retching, like he was vomiting.

“Cas. I’m using my keys to come in sweetheart,” Dean declared as he fumbled with his keys, trying to find the right one. He was near tears in fear that something was terribly wrong and it wasn’t Cas’ heat two months early and dropped the keys from shaking hands. The second time he dropped them, Bobby stepped in and took the keys from him and unlocked the door. “Calm down Dean,” Bobby said as he placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“I’m trying Bobby, but we weren’t ready for this and he’s gonna take this hard,” Dean said softly.

“Well, I know he’s usually the alpha in your relationship, but right now that falls to you and you need to take care of him, like I know you can and will,” Bobby answered with a reassuring smile. “It’ll be alright, Dean. Go see what we need to do to get your husband home.”

With that Dean turned the knob and opened the door to find Cas on the floor, on his hands and knees over his garbage can moaning, the room smelling like a mix of vomit and Cas. “Oh Cas…” Dean soothed as he fell to his knees next to Cas and gently placed a hand on his back.

“I’m sorry, Dean. I’m sick, ‘m so sick…my heat’s early,” he whispered before the next round of retching began.  “Pup, where’s our pup?”Cas said weakly. 

Dean wiped Cas’ mouth with a tissue from his desk, “It’s alright Cas, it’s alright…she’s here, Benny’s holding her for us. They called Sam and Jess to come get her so I can take you home, okay?”

Cas sat up and grabbed Dean fisting his shirt with one hand, eyes panicky, “NO! No, don’t take her, no, no..” Cas attempted to shout but began to cry instead, tears falling and sobs shaking his shoulders. He fought through it and tried to get up on his feet, pushing off of Dean to half knee walk, half crawl towards the door.

“Cas, babe, what are you doing? Stop, honey, stop,” Dean said as he grabbed Cas by the shoulders and lifted him to his feet. He wrapped his arms around his husband and reassured him, “They aren’t going to take her yet.  We are gonna figure out a plan together, okay? Don’t cry, we’re gonna figure all this out.” Dean walked Cas over to his office chair and held it in place as he sat Cas down.  He grabbed a water bottle out of the fridge that Cas kept in his office to store the breast milk he pumped while at work.  He made Cas sip on the water while he calmed down, hoping he wouldn’t start throwing up again. 

There was a knock on the door and Dean turned to find Jess peeking in the door. “Can I come in and say hi to Cas?” Jess asked with her bright smile.

“Enter at your own risk,” Dean chuckled nuzzling as Cas’ bed head, hand still rubbing his back.

“Hey Cas,” Jess said softly. “I thought we’d talk a little before you get too far gone. I thought we could all make a plan for how you want us to handle Eloise during your heat. Sam and I are here to help you.”

Cas looked up at Jess and nodded.  Dean felt for Cas, he knew his heat was early and Cas liked to be prepared for his heats.  Cas had only experienced a few heats after they were married. He had taken suppressants for most of their marriage which reduced his heats to twice a year until they had decided to have Eloise.  Cas struggled with the submitting and feeling needy and Dean wasn’t sure he would be able to deal with this heat well since they hadn’t been able to talk about it ahead of time. He was also concerned that Cas was vomiting and didn’t smell like he normally did when in heat.

They decided that Jess and Sam would take Eloise home with them. Dean had grabbed enough clothes and diapers for one night as well as empty bottle and several bags of frozen breast milk.  They would wait for Dean to call and let them know when they could come by and get more supplies for her and to bring her to see Cas. Dean and Cas wanted to say goodbye to her before they took her so Jess told Dean, “Go get Eloise from Sam and bring her here.” She turned to Cas and said, “You can nurse her once more before we go, it will be good for both of you.  She will stave off your heat long enough for Dean to drive you home and you will get to say your goodbye for the night, okay?”

“I won’t scare her, will I?” Cas asked fearfully.

“I don’t think so, I don’t think I ever scared Henry when you came to get him,” Jess said as Dean came through the door with Eloise. He handed her to Cas and she reacted the way she always did around him, smiling and getting wide excited eyes, arms moving in jerking happy motions as he took her in his arms. Jess took the garbage can out of the office and left Dean and Cas to be with Eloise for a while. 

Cas nursed Eloise and talked to her softly, “I love you Eloise Grace and I’m going to miss you terribly while you’re gone. This wasn’t supposed to happen until you were a little older, and we were both a little more ready, but it’s here and Daddy and I have to be alone for a little while.” Dean stood with his arm around Cas’ shoulders and smiled down at his family, “She’ll be okay Cas. Sam and Jess will take good care of her.” 

“I know they will, we’ve just never both left her before and I don’t want her to be sad without at least one of us,” Cas said softly. “At least I’m feeling a little better with you both here. I was afraid you’d have to knot me in my office before you could get me home,” Cas tried to make light of the situation, but when his eyes met Dean’s, he looked nauseous and worried.

“Cas, I would’ve found a way to get you home, don’t you worry,” Dean reassured Cas but truthfully, it was concerning to Dean that he was in the same room with Cas in heat and wasn’t crazily trying to control his urge to knot him.  Something was off and Dean couldn’t figure it out.  He helped Cas to his feet and put his trench coat over his shoulders covering his vomit and slick stained clothes.

Dean and Cas, holding Eloise, emerged from the office and headed towards the parking area. Everyone at the garage had gone outside to give the family privacy and they were talking to Sam and Jess. Dean walked Cas over to Sam and Jess car to give Eloise to them for the night at least. 

“Thanks guys for all your help, we are going to head out,” Dean told their family and friends. Cas silently handed Eloise to Jess, who kissed Cas on the cheek and snuggled the baby to her immediately.

“I know you’ll miss her Cas, but I’m selfishly glad to get my hands on her for a while. We’ll take good care of her, don’t worry too much,” Jess said offering a supportive omega smile.

Cas nodded, eyes welling at the sadness of leaving her and the sweetness of his sister in law’s understanding.  He and Dean watched as Sam took the baby and buckled her into her car seat while Jess climbed in the back seat between her car seat and Henry’s.  Sam waved before opening his car door and driving off with his family, one bumble bee bigger.

Dean rubbed Cas’ arm with the hand he had around his shoulders and Cas turned, a little self consciously, to their friends and employees, “I’m sorry about the fuss, and I’m afraid I’ll have to come back to clean the office-“

“Already on it, Boss! No problem Kimosabe! Go home with Dean and we’ll see you in a few days,” Ash surprised Cas with a huge hug. Cas hugged him back, “Thank you, Ash, thank you for everything today.”

And with that Dean ushered Cas to the Impala and the two were on their way home.  As Dean sensed Cas relaxing, he could smell Cas’ heat. It became more like it usually was, and Cas acted more like he was in heat. He looked at Dean from his side of the car like he was buttery morsel he wanted to consume. Cas liked to try to remain in control as long as possible unless they were in their own home, then he would fully relax and let himself give in completely to his omega side. Dean could tell it was getting harder for Cas so he tried to catch all the lights and choose the quickest route home.  When Dean closed the garage door behind the impala, Cas was on him like an animal on its prey.  He rubbed his head and face on Dean the way a cat rubbed and scratched itself on the edge of furniture or the corner of the wall. “I want you, Dean…I need you…,” Cas moaned.

“Okay, Cas. Let’s get you cleaned up a little first, huh? We’ll start with a nice shower and then whatever you want, okay babe?” Dean soothed Cas, chuckling to himself at Cas’ eagerness.  He loved to watch Cas let himself go and other than the surprise of the timing, he hoped that this heat would not be as difficult for Cas psychologically and emotionally as they had been in the past.  Cas had said he wanted more children, so Dean hoped he would be more at ease with his heat cycle, he hated to see Cas struggle with something that would not be going away any time soon.

They got upstairs and into the bathroom without too much trouble considering Cas was trying to climb Dean like a tree.  Cas brushed his teeth while Dean started the shower and soon they were both undressing. It was then that Dean could discern the smell of Cas’ heat clearly, that it wasn’t clouded by the smell of sickness or the off smell that had been so prevalent in the office. It was strange how slowly this heat was developing, usually when Cas went into heat, they were all over each other in an instant. Dean figured it must be the first post pregnancy heat or something, but there was no denying the delicious smell of his sweet omega mate now. He could tell Cas felt the same way as well, and the two collided into each other mouths open and wanting.

Dean growled as he nearly lifted Cas into the shower. He soaped Cas quickly and rinsed him, pressing him against the back wall of the shower. Dean kissed his way down Cas’ body until he had no choice but to fall on his knees at the feet of his husband, his mate and gently kiss the head of his swollen cock. “Deeean…please-,” Cas gasped fisting what he could of the hair on Dean’s head encouraging him as Dean took his entire length into his mouth and began to suck. “Yes…oh God…Dean…aaaaahhh…so close…,” Cas cried out nearly incoherent as Dean bobbed up and down Cas’ length, twirling his tongue around the tip with each pass. It didn’t take long at all before Cas came with a shout as Dean took him deep into his throat.  “Christ Cas, that was hot,” Dean said as he stood and turned off the water and grabbed a couple of towels he had set on the cabinet. He handed one to Cas and they dried off in a half assed fashion, eager to hit the bedroom. 

Dean pulled back the blanket and sheet and flung himself back onto the bed pulling his mate with him and Cas settled over Dean on his knees and elbows slotting their mouths together in a filthy wet kiss. “Gonna ride me Cas?” Dean asked. It was a show of deference to Cas on Dean’s part that he let his mate take control the first round of the heat. He loved Cas and he knew it helped Cas to be in charge at the start of this, his most vulnerable time. “Yes!” Cas growled low in his throat as he lined himself up with Dean’s cock which he now held in his hand.  “Fuck  Dean, you feel so good,” Cas cried out as he sank himself onto Dean’s rock hard erection.  When he had fully seated himself, he looked at Dean who smiled and then lifted his hips by leaning forward before slamming back down.

“Fuuuck Cas, fuck you’re so tight…so wet babe…yes that’s it…ride me, my sweet omega…” Dean panted as he fought to lay still and let Cas run the show this first bout of his heat.  Dean could feel his knot building and he told Cas, “Close babe, come on…give it to me good…ride me hard…Cas…Cas…CAS!” Dean cried out as he grabbed Cas’ hips and slid his knot home into Cas’ channel, locking them together and slaking Cas heat for the time being. Cas collapsed down onto Dean, exhausted and satisfied, burying his face in the crook of Dean’s neck, moaning and clamping down on Dean’s knot as he continued to come inside Cas.

When the final waves of their orgasms washed over them, the couple lay locked together and Dean carefully helped Cas straighten his legs and find a more comfortable position. “Sleep, my sweet Cas, sleep,” Dean shushed and soothed his husband, stroking his hands up and down Cas’ back and over his firm round ass.  He could feel Cas relax and melt into him as he spoke to him softly, “I’ll move you and clean us up when you are asleep, that’s it…just relax.”

Dean waited for his knot to subside and them he carefully rolled Cas off of him and onto his back.  He rinsed himself off quickly in the shower and brought a warm wet washcloth to the bedroom. When Cas, who as usual slept like a rock between heat bouts, was clean, he tucked him in and then grabbed pajama pants and a t shirt before going downstairs. 

Dean took quick stock of the fridge and pantry and made a list of a few things that Sam would pick up for them in the morning. He then checked the supply of breast milk Cas had pumped and put several small baggies of milk into a gallon size bag marked: SAM AND JESS, TAKE THIS BAG FOR ELOISE. He put a couple more bottles and nipples into another zip lock bag on the counter marked the same way.  He jogged up to the nursery and grabbed several outfits and a package of diapers, bringing them down to the kitchen counter and packing them in one of the tote bags Cas made Dean use when grocery shopping.

With Eloise’s needs met, Dean moved on to taking care of Cas. He threw together a batch of chocolate chip cookies that Cas loved and popped those in the oven.  They burned a lot of calories when Cas was in heat or Dean was in rut and the oatmeal chocolate chip cookies served to comfort and fill you up.  Next he made Cas a spinach, bacon and swiss cheese quiche, his husband’s favorite and an easy reheat between bouts.  They also would order pizza or thai food at some point as was their tradition.  Dean worked hard to make Cas’ heats a time less about Cas’ losing control and more about getting to be together and have some great sex and time alone.  It was a little different this time, missing Eloise, but he vowed to keep the other traditions for Cas. The cookies came out and the quiche went in and then dean ran to throw all their clothes in the wash, including Cas’ trench coat.

Satisfied, and the quiche on timer,  Dean trotted back upstairs to check on Cas. He turned the corner to their room to find the bed empty and then he heard Cas in the bathroom.  He couldn’t quite tell if Cas was taking a piss or what, then he recognized the sound of Cas puking again. “Cas, babe, I’m coming in,” Dean said as he pushed open the door. There was poor naked Cas heaving into the toilet.

“Shit Cas, throwing up again?” Dean empathized with his husband.  He grabbed a clean washcloth, one could never be too careful during heat about putting all towels and washcloths in the laundry, and got it wet with cold water.  He put it on the back of Cas’ neck and waited for Cas to finish vomiting.  He flushed the toilet for him and then wiped his face clean.  Cas leaned into Dean and curled up into his chest as Dean wrapped his husband in his arms.  “Alright, Cas? Feel better now?” Dean asked cautiously. 

“I don’t know Dean, something feels off this time. I never puke when I’m in heat and I don’t feel as desperate to be knotted as I usually do,” Cas confided and Dean could tell by the way Cas looked to him for comfort that Cas really didn’t feel well.  Truthfully Dean was relieved that Cas wanted comfort, but it worried Dean equally. 

“Maybe I’ll call Ellen,” Dean offered as Cas brushed his teeth. “Can you eat something, I made cookies and I have your favorite quiche baking…” Dean said hopefully.

Cas put on pajama pants and a t shirt and the two went downstairs to grab a bite to eat and call Ellen.  Cas grabbed a cookie and Dean gave him a glass of milk, so clearly Cas had an appetite, he thought as he dialed Ellen’s number.  Cas sat at the table, but laid his head down between sips of milk.

“Hey Ellen, listen. Cas went into heat…yeah I figured Bobby called you…yeah he just threw up again and he seems out of sorts and we- yeah I’ll put him on,” Dean said as he handed Cas the phone.

Ellen and Cas spoke for a while and Ellen must have asked a lot of questions because Cas was answering lot. Dean waited patiently and pulled the quiche out of the oven when the timer went off.  Cas ended the call and put his head in his hands.

“What, Cas?” Dean asked stroking Cas’ hair and kneeling next to him.

“She wants to see me at the clinic before they close. She thinks I need an IV and some medicine, says the stress might have messed up my electrolytes and some other things, hormones or something to do with nursing and pumping…” Cas seemed sad about the whole situation and it was killing Dean.

“Alright, Cas are you okay?” Dean pulled Cas close to him kissing him softly on the lips.

“I think so, Dean, but something is definitely off and I think it’s smart to go see Ellen,” Cas said very calmly.

“I’m gonna get dressed and then call Sam and Jess and let them know where we are going and tell them that I have things for Eloise ready,” Dean told Cas as he settled him down on the couch. He took the stairs two at a time and threw on a clean pair of jeans and a Henley. He called Sam from the bedroom and explained things before coming down to put on his boots by the front door.  When Dean headed back towards Cas, he found his husband kneeling over the toilet in the downstairs bathroom.

“Dean, help me…I feel so sick…” Cas whispered just before he vomited the cookie and milk he had just finished. Dean rubbed Cas’ back as he worked his way through emptying his stomach. He seemed to get weaker by the second and as Dean wiped his face clean, Cas slumped into him unable to balance. 

“Cas, honey…you’re making me nervous,” he said as he held his face in his hands. He pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed Gabriel. “Gabe, Cas is in heat, but he is sick and I need to get him to the clinic to see Ellen-…slow down, Gabe…I think he’s fine, but I want to sit with him in the back seat, will you come drive us?” Dean held Cas against his chest with one arm and thanked Gabe.

“I’m cold Dean, I’m so c-cold…” Cas shivered as he clung to Dean. It concerned Dean as he usually felt overly warm with his heats.  He stood up and lifted Cas cradling him against his chest and one arm under his knees. Cas did not object to being carried bridal style which confirmed for Dean how awful he must really feel. 

“Let’s get you a blanket, okay Cas?” he said trying to control the worry in his voice as he carried Cas towards the laundry room. Once there, he grabbed a spare blanket from one of the shelves and wrapped Cas in it before picking him back up and heading towards the front door.  He had a quick thought and stood Cas by the door, running back to the laundry room for a pail and some plastic bags in case Cas got sick again. He heard Gabe’s car pull up and Gabe came running in his apron from the Beanery.

“Cas, buddy…Cas,” Gabe kissed his brother, unable to contain his worry. 

“Let’s go Gabe, Ellen’s waiting,” Dean hurried them along to the car. Cas vomited several times before they arrived at the clinic.

Ellen had told Dean to drive around to the back of the clinic where there was a separate entrance for omegas in heat.  Dean carried Cas through the doors to the special room built to contain the scent of an omega in heat. He settled him on the bed in the room and stroked his fingers through Cas’ hair. “I’m alright ,” Cas attempted to calm Dean’s anxiety, but his voice was weak, he was pale and covered with a sheen of sweat despite his claim of being cold. 

Ellen and Jo who had come into the room with a cart of supplies, began to assess Cas by taking his temperature and blood pressure. Dean took Cas’ hand as Jo started an IV and used the port to get a blood sample.  She hung a yellow bag of fluid that began to drip and run through the tube into Cas’ arm.  Dean stayed close to Cas and in turn Cas looked to Dean for comfort. “Dean…” Cas mumbled.

“I’m here Cas, I’m here,” Dean soothed his husband as they waited for Ellen to gather the results of her exam and explain what was happening.  Dean felt panic welling inside him as he gazed down at Cas lying on the bed looking suddenly so fragile.  Gabe came up beside him and squeezed his shoulder in support.

“Where the fuck is Ellen?” Dean whispered to Gabe. “Why can’t he catch a break? He was doing so well and we were looking forward to his heat in a couple of months,” Dean implored.

“I don’t know, I don’t get it. He takes one step forward and gets kicked back two,” Gabe said, agreeing with Dean.

The door opening startled them both and Ellen came in with Cas’ chart. She came over to the three men and seeing Cas asleep, she spoke to Dean and Gabe keeping her voice low.  “He’s going to be fine. It’s just what I thought it might be going on.  He’s nursing, pumping and working, and his heat came early, essentially the perfect storm.  He’s dehydrated and whacked out his electrolytes and he’s vitamin deficient. The pup is not affected because Cas’ body naturally gives everything to his milk production, but he has drained his body to the point that his heat coming was just too much.”

“What do we do? Are you going to suppress his heat? Give him a chance to even out?” Dean asked as he stroked his fingers through Cas’ hair.

“No, we can’t suppress his heat now. If we had caught it before it started, maybe, but now we would have to give so much suppressant medication that he would have to stop nursing Eloise,” Ellen explained.

Cas, who had appeared to be asleep, snapped his eyes open at Ellen’s last comment. “No, please…no,” he cried to them, pulling Dean closer with a fistful of shirt.

“Shhhhhhh, Cas…relax sweetheart. We won’t do that unless we don’t have a choice. Lay back down and let’s hear the rest of Ellen’s plan, okay?” Dean took Cas hand from his shirt and squeezed it.

Ellen went on to explain that the unbalanced electrolytes were delaying a full heat and putting Cas into a sort of heat limbo which was making Cas dehydrate an therefore vomit. If the IV treatment could rectify the imbalance, she felt Cas would fully go into heat and complete his cycle in a healthy manner.

Dean placed Cas’ hand in Gabe’s and asked Ellen to speak to him out of Cas and Gabe’s hearing. “Are you telling me that I am going to have to take him home after he has been this sick and he is going to be in heat and I have to knot him?” Dean asked incredulously. “”Cause no offense Mom, that’s fucked up.”

“Watch your language Dean and understand that the only reason he is so sick is because his body is trying to go into heat and doesn’t have what it needs to get there.  When he gets the fluids and electrolytes, he will perk right up and feel normal,” Ellen retorted.

“I don’t think I can do that,” Dean confided, overwhelmed with the whole concept.

“Give it time, honey. You’ll see what I mean,” Ellen pulled Dean in for a hug. “He needs you and you’ll have to give him what he needs. It will all work out, you’ll see.”

Dean walked over to the bed and looked down as his husband dozing peacefully. He leaned down to kiss his messy dark hair and his eyes filled with tears. Gabe gave them a moment and walked across the room to sit in a chair. Dean sat on the bed and laid down pulling Cas close to him.  He did his best not to cry, but it was so hard to watch Cas suffer.

Gabe came over and pulled a blanket from the end of the bed over Dean and Cas. “Sleep Dean, I’ll be here.” He kissed them both and sat back in the chair across the room.

Dean drifted in and out of a shallow sleep, shushing and soothing Cas as he stirred in his own restless sleep. Jo came in and out of the room checking Cas’ vitals and at some point changing the IV bag for a new one.

It was late in the evening when Cas began to wake and moan for Dean. It was not the kind of moaning that you did when you were sick. It was wanton and hungry. Dean was startled wide awake when felt Cas’ hand slide between his thighs and cup his crotch. “Cas, whoa there sweetheart,” Dean chuckled as he climbed off the bed. As he stood, it hit him that he could smell Cas who seemed to be fully in heat. Cas was fresh summer air, citrus and cinnamon rolls all at once. He was the most delicious thing Dean had ever smelled in his life and he realized what Ellen had meant about Cas feeling better. 

Dean hit the call bell and Ellen came in, “Momma’s waking up I see.”

“I’d say so,” Dean huffed as he tried to stop Cas from getting out of the bed. The IV bag was nearly empty and from the looks of Cas, he was ready to head home. “He’s in full heat I’d say. He smells like his normal heat and it’s pretty evident he feels better.”

Ellen took Cas’ vitals again and asked Cas a few questions when she could get him to focus. Mostly Cas tried to get Dean’s attention and it was getting harder for Dean to resist.  “Well Dean, I’d say Cas has responded to the treatment and you should take him home.”

“Ellen, are you sure it’s okay to do what he’s gonna want me to do when I get him home? I don’t want to hurt him if he isn’t well,” concern for his husband bleeding through Dean’s voice.

“Dean, it’s one of those catch 22’s. He’s feeling well enough to be in full heat and he needs to go through all that goes with it to be completely well,” Ellen spoke frankly to her son. “You are going to have to help him gently through this first heat as best as you can. If you listen to him and give him what he needs, you won’t hurt him. Just remember it’s Cas and you love him and he’ll be fine.”

Dean helped a very handsy Cas into Gabe’s backseat and kept him at arm’s length to spare all three of any embarrassment.  Cas whined for Dean and Dean tried to quiet him down, but eventually he just ignored him and told Gabe to hurry and get them home.  As they pulled into the driveway and Dean thanked Gabe for his help and told him he would call him in the morning. Cas was practically in Dean’s lap so Dean hauled him out of the car on his side. He got him in the house and locked the door before letting Cas do what he wanted to him.

Cas smothered his mate in filthy kisses and groped him, grabbing his ass and running his hands all over Dean.  Dean finally let go and gave in to his urge to be Cas’ alpha. He had barely been able to control himself and had only done it for Gabe’s sake on the way home.  “Deeeean…fuck me… I need you sooo much,” Cas breathed into Dean’s ear as he kissed and licked his earlobe and his jaw.

“Christ Cas, you sure you feel good enough?” Dean asked. “I need to be sure you want this, babe”

“Come on alpha…take me upstairs and take care of me…pleeeease,” Cas whined as he pressed Dean against the wall and ground their hips together.  Convinced and on board, Dean grabbed Cas’ ass with both hands looking for more friction. Cas took that opportunity to wrap his arms around Dean’s neck and left his feet off the floor attempting to get his legs around Dean’s waist. Dean moaned and started to walk with Cas up the stairs to the bedroom. Normally he would have taken Cas to the bathtub or shower, but Cas would have no part of that and begged Dean to take him to bed.

Slowly Dean undressed Cas as he scrambled to get Dean naked. “Jesus, fuck why are you so slow tonight Dean?” Cas asked as he slapped Dean’s hands away and began to tear his own clothes off, throwing them as if they had offended him in some way. When their hardened cocks slid together, neither of them could stifle their moans. Cas slotted their mouths together and then instinctively turned over to present himself to Dean.

“No Cas. Not yet, please?” he turned Cas onto his back. “Can I see your face the first time please babe?”

Cas pulled his knees up and made noises he could not control as Dean slipped two fingers into him making sure he was ready. As Dean slid home into Cas it felt right and he waited fully seated for Cas to give the okay before slowly pulling out and then rolling his hips to thrust back in to the tight wet heat of his omega. Cas hooked his legs over Dean’s hips using his feet to try to get Dean even deeper than he already was thrusting.

Cas grunted with every thrust and rolled his hips in response matching Dean’s rhythm and kissed Dean deeply. “Yessssss Dean…fuck, you feel so good, my alpha…”

“You like that Cas? Feels great to fuck you in heat Cas…love it when you’re crazy for my knot…” Dean panted as he changed the angle of his hips, gunning for Cas’ sweet spot.

“Just getting started Dean…oh shiiiit!...right there…again…yeeeessss!”

Dean began to thrust in earnest and Cas cried out planting his feet on the mattress bucking his hips up to meet Dean’s every move. Dean could feel Cas tensing up and reached between them to stroke Cas’ angry hard cock. In just a few strokes Cas froze, toes curing and hands fisting Dean’s hair as his orgasm hit him, mouth open in a silent scream he rode out the wave of pleasure and Dean continued to thrust and stroke him. Dean felt his knot swell and as Cas came down from his high, Dean fucked into Cas faster and harder until his slid his knot home and shouted as he came flooding into Cas. “Fuuuuck Cas…love you my Cas, my sweet omega…my mate…” he shuddered as Cas clenched around him and milked him of his come causing wave after wave of aftershock.

As he came out of his post orgasmic bliss, he cupped Cas’ face with one hand and gently kissed him, “You alright, Cas?”

“Honestly, I feel the best I have in three days Dean,” Cas answered kissing Dean back just as sweetly. They laid locked together, whispering sweetly to each other, honestly enjoying the quiet of just the two of them and they intimacy of Cas heat. They dozed off, sweaty and sticky and very happy.

The rest of Cas’ heat passed in a blur of sexy times ranging from frisky blowjobs and hand jobs to fiery,  impassioned knottings.  Cas seemed somewhat liberated in their interactions, almost happy to be in heat. He even let Dean knot him outside of the bedroom which was a first for them and neither of them. Dean thought Cas might actually be at peace with his omega status for the first time. 

At least once a day Jess or Sam brought Eloise to visit when Cas’ heat was in a lull.  The first time they saw her and held her they both cried, claiming she had grown and changed in the two days they were separated.  Cas nursed her and rocked her, Dean snuggled her and made faces at her to get her to smile.  Even at three months she scented them and seemed to know something was up with Momma and Daddy, but she was visibly happy to see them each time they brought her home.

When Eloise wasn’t there, Cas had to pump every few hours or his breasts became painful, so Dean would make a meal or a snack for them at that time. They were getting to the end of Cas’ heat which was in its sixth day, unusually long for his heats. He was putting breast milk in the freezer and washing the parts to his pump when Dean came up behind him and slipped his hands around his waist, “I could smell you from the laundry room and my don’t I just want to eat you up.”

Cas could not suppress a whine and pushed his hips out to seek the friction Dean was offering. He could feel his slick starting to soak his boxers. It was amazing how in synch they were this heat. They were hyper aware of each other’s arousals and needs and Cas thought it was beautiful.

Dean kissed down Cas’ neck leaving little marks below Cas collar line and continued grinding into Cas’ backside making him crazy with want. Cas had one hand buried in Dean’s hair and the other grabbing one cheek of his ass. Dean growled when Cas squeezed him or pulled his hair in response to their hips making contact. “Wanna take you upstairs, babe,” Dean told Cas as he turned him around and planted a downright filthy kiss on his lips, delving into his mouth with his tongue. Cas responded equally as charged with his tongue, but said, “No we’re not going upstairs. Knot me right here Dean, right here in your kitchen.”

Dean moaned as he heard the control in Cas’ voice. That’s how he knew Cas’ heat was coming to an end. He had the need of an omega but the wants of an alpha and Dean didn’t mind one little bit. “Jesus Cas, you’re gonna kill me today, y’know that?”

Cas already moved his hand around to the front of Dean’s pajama pants and was palming his hardening cock. Dean moaned and slid his hands up to find Cas’ recently emptied breasts. He brushed his fingertips lightly over Cas’ nipples, as Cas arched his back and sucked in a sharp breath. Cas pulled his own shirt off and turned to face Dean, still palming him and kissing him deep and dirty. The kisses were wet and messy and full of desire, yet at the same time tender and loving as they locked eyes and stared into each other conveying everything through that connection.  Dean’s nimble fingers still stroked and lightly pinched Cas’ nipples and Cas moaned and whimpered into Dean’s mouth.

When Dean started to kiss down Cas’ neck and onto his collar bone and to his adam’s apple, Cas shook with the anticipation of where Dean was headed with his hot, wet mouth. Dean left a trail of sweet open mouthed kisses in a circle around Cas right nipple without ever landing one directly on what Cas presumed to be his target. Cas huffed his disappointment as Dean started his mouth over to the left nipple leaving the same unsatisfied trail there as well. “Deeeean, please!” Cas demanded as he slid his hand to the back of Dean’s head trying to usher his mouth where he needed it to go.

Dean used the very tip of his nose to nuzzle at Cas’ peaking nipples. It was enough pressure to cause them to harden even more, if that was possible, but not enough to satisfy him. Cas began to pant and moan and beg for Dean to place his mouth where Cas needed it to go. He was rock hard and could feel his slick dripping between his thighs as he was rolled his hips, now seeking friction on both ends of his body. Dean teased as long as he dared before closing his mouth around the first of Cas’ nipples. Cas nearly screamed at the long awaited sensation of Dean’s hot wet mouth surrounding his pebbled nipple in a sensuous kiss. He held Dean fast in place with pressure on the back of his neck and rambled off a litany of swear words as Dean began to suck gently and nibble with his teeth. By the time Dean switched over to the other nipple awaiting its turn, Cas was an incoherent puddle of jello and pliant in his husbands arms.

Dean moved back up to Cas’ mouth when he was satisfied he had Cas fully relaxed via his own special torture and lifted Cas to the counter in the hopes of giving him the fucking of his life.  Cas had gained strength over the week of his heat with Dean carefully monitoring his fluids and food intake. Their episodes had become more and more intense and physical each time with Cas letting go and begging for Dean to do naughty things.

As Cas got the picture of what Dean was going to do on the counter, he objected, startling Dean. “Sorry Cas, I thought you were into this-“

Cas covered Dean’s mouth with his hand and flipped himself over with his ass presented to Dean. “Like this alpha…want your knot like this,” and he leaned over the counter on his elbows, canting his hips for Dean.  Not needing to be told twice, Dean growled and grabbed Cas by the hips and used his foot to spread his feet further apart to give him better access to Cas’ sweet ass. Dean bent down and kissed Cas on each cheek before slipping his tongue into Cas’ slick. Cas jumped at the sensation and canted his hips back even further moaning and shifting with want.

Dean kissed his way up and over Cas’ beautiful round ass and left a trail of slick in the form of kisses until his erection brushed the brink of Cas’ wet hot hole. With one whispered desire for consent and having received it, he slid firmly and in one thrust into his husband. “Ohhh, fuck me Dean! You are so hard…you fill me up so well…” Cas cried out at Dean’s thrusting.

“You like that don’t you? You must, you’re so wet for me, so tight and wet…” Dean breathed heavily into Cas ear, biting and sucking at his earlobe. He was thrusting so wildly and was concentrating so hard that he almost didn’t catch what Cas said next, ‘Yes Dean…yeeeessssss! I love it…fuck me hard and full of your pups…”

Cas had never said anything like that to Dean during a heat and it caught Dean a little off guard. He faltered a bit before finding his rhythm again and fucked into his husband just this side of rough answering, “I will Cas, I’ll fill you with my pups, my beautiful omega.” He reached around Cas to stroke his cock and as he barely touched him they both felt the searing heat of their orgasms being ripped from their bodies, Dean barely getting his knot past Cas’ rim in time. They stilled as Dean pulsed into Cas and stroked him though his orgasm spraying the cabinet with come and depending on the counter to hold them upright.  

It was a little awkward as Dean carried Cas to the couch to wait out their tie, but it beat the cold kitchen floor. As they laid together, they could tell Cas heat was finished and they cuddled and whispered to each other as they always did following a knotting. “Did you mean it Cas? Did you mean what you said about the pups?”

“Yes, Dean, every word,” Cas answered as he took Dean’s hand and placed it on his stomach. And if Dean cried sappy tears and hoped for another pup, only he and Cas needed to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled with the heat sex, I am not ABO enough for it yet. I seem to write Mpreg details better than ABO sex! Sorry if it was awful...


	37. Beware the Green Eyed Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas receive disappointing news, and someone might be a little jealous...

The phone rang and both Dean and Cas jumped to answer it.  Cas had taken the day off and they had been to the clinic for a blood test to see if he had conceived during his heat, though to them it was merely a confirmation. Neither of them had scented any change in Cas, but his heat had smelled different at first, so they were not worried. Dean let Cas answer the call and pulled him into his lap while he waited for the good news. 

“Hello, Winchester residence…” Cas said formally while Dean rolled his eyes at Cas proper language. “Yes this is Castiel…yes…” Cas responded, gripping Dean’s hand. Suddenly as if in response to what the caller said, Cas’ smile dropped into a frown and Dean knew that could only mean one thing. “Oh, I see. Thank you for calling.”

Cas snuggled down into Dean’s hold and laid his head on his shoulder as he whispered, “Well, there is always next heat and Eloise is so young anyway.”

“Cas I don’t understand, you were in heat and we knotted so many times. I’m so sorry, I just assumed…” Dean said as he held Cas tightly.

“I’ll talk to Ellen later and see what she has to say, the nurse said she and Jo were delivering someone and wanted me to call later,” Cas sniffed. Eloise began to fuss in the cradle so Cas gave Dean a peck on the cheek and made to get up off his lap. Dean pulled him back to his lap and took his face in his hands, “I love you Cas, my sweet Cas. We’ll try again, next heat...alright babe?” Cas attempted a smile and nodded his head before getting up to go to Eloise. 

The call to Ellen revealed that she was not concerned at all about the lack of pregnancy. Cas had struggled to get into heat and probably had not produced an egg to catch when Dean knotted him. She was certain that when Cas’ next heat occurred naturally and they knotted, that Cas would catch and become pregnant. It was reassuring, but not any less sad for them now.

Cas spent the rest of the morning cuddling Eloise and cleaning every square inch of the nursery. He told Dean he was switching out the summer clothes to get ready for fall outfits. Dean kept a close eye on him, he knew it was a matter of time before Cas let go and felt his emotions. 

At lunch Dean could hardly take Cas’ sad eyes and decided to offer him an outing with Eloise. “So you’ve cleaned out the baby’s closet for fall clothes? Does that mean we need to go get her some? We could go to the little shops out by Motherhood, if you like.”

Cas smiled at Dean and leaned over to kiss him, “Thank you, Dean. You are so good to me. It would be nice to go out if you’re serious.”

“I am serious and _you_ are good to me. Let’s get going before Eloise’s afternoon nap, maybe she will sleep in her stroller while we shop,” Dean said between kisses to Cas’ forehead, nose, cheeks, and lips.

They spent their afternoon combing through the racks at several children’s clothing stores. Cas found several jumpers with long sleeved shirts and warm tights. They bought denim overalls, long sleeved tee shirts and turtle necks, and a few sweaters. One of the stores had leggings and swing tops in all sorts of patterns, so they chose several outfits appropriate for the Halloween and Thanksgiving seasons. Cas could not resist a fall jacket with sunflowers and a bumble bee, of course, and a little red with white polka dot dress with matching coat and hat. Eloise was becoming quite the chub and would soon be in six to nine month sized clothing and Dean let Cas shop the afternoon away. 

They were checking out in the last store when a couple came in with a new baby and began to look at the newborn racks which Dean had carefully helped Cas avoid. Dean grabbed the bags from the clerk and turned to find Cas looking at the couple with the baby, eyes filled with tears. Dean carried their purchases in one arm and slipped the other around Cas as he pushed Eloise in her stroller back towards the car.  Once she was secured and still sleeping in her seat, Dean held Cas while he cried in his arms.

They spoke of their disappointment in not having another pup to add to their growing family, but Dean pointed out that Cas was right about Eloise being so young and that maybe it was fate giving her a chance to be a baby a bit longer. They drove home, Cas sitting in the back with as he usually did and if they let Eloise sleep in their bed that night, what was the harm in that.

*******

Cas went back to work the next day and it was Dean’s turn to host the Tuesday OOPS meeting. He kept the house fairly clean, so he wasn’t worried about doing too much. He baked two apple pies to go with the coffee and brought extra chairs from the dining room for all of the omegas who were coming. They had a very productive meeting and had agreed to go bowling on Thursday as their activity for the week. Eloise couldn’t bowl, but his omega friend Victor had a young baby, so they often paired up when the activities were for older children.  It got them out of the house and talking about things other than laundry and housekeeping, not that Dean didn’t love doing those things for his family. It was however a nice break from his routine.

The meeting was breaking up when Becky brought up Cas and Dean having a new pup on the way. She was a snippy busybody and Dean’s face turned ten shades of red when the omegas started to congratulate him. Most of them couldn’t get away fast enough when Dean told them that Cas wasn’t pregnant this time. He was grateful when Victor ushered nosy Becky and her son out the front door. That left just Victor and his son Ethan, and Dean and Eloise.

Both the babies were sleeping so Victor offered to help Dean clean up the mess from the meeting while Ethan napped. Victor told a visibly upset Dean that he was sorry about Cas not catching and Becky’s rudeness in front of the group. Dean thanked him and fought back his tears as the loaded the dishwasher and straightened the living room. They were just about finished when Dean heard the front door open.

“Hello Dean,” Cas called from the front hall. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Dean and a visbly pregnant Victor heading to the dining room to replace the borrowed chairs. “Oh, hi Victor. How have you and Ethan been doing lately, and your alpha? Bella isn’t it?” he asked as his eyes dropped his baby belly. Victor, Cas noted, was a handsome omega. He was muscular and immaculate in his personal care and very well spoken. Dean seemed fond of their friendship and at first Cas had been very happy Dean had made a male friend he could relate well with.

“Hey Cas, we’ve all been fine thanks. I was just helping Dean clean up after the meeting. Listen, I’m sorry about your missed catch. Sometimes it just doesn’t happen. Maybe next time, right?” Victor offered.

“Yes, thank you Victor, that’s very nice of you to help,” Cas answered, blush rising in his cheeks. Dean walked over and kissed him, giving him the _I’ll tell you later_ face.

“Well, you probably want to have lunch with Dean and Eloise, so we’ll go now. See you at bowling on Thursday, Dean, “Victor said as he gathered his bag and Ethan and headed out to his car. 

Cas didn’t say anything, but Dean could tell he was upset that Victor, pregnant himself, had known about the missed pregnancy. Dean came from showing Victor to the door and pulled Cas into a big hug, “I’m sorry, Cas. Becky congratulated me on you being pregnant. I had texted her last week that I wouldn’t be at the meeting because you were in heat. She just assumed…so I had to set everyone straight, and Victor meant well. He’s a good guy, Cas.”

“It’s alright, Dean. It’s not your fault and I know Victor meant well. It’s just that nothing ever stays private very long.”

Dean made Cas some lunch and when Eloise woke, Cas changed her and nursed her. Dean had put her in navy leggings and a navy swing top covered in apples.  She looked like the September page of a catalog and Cas loved it. Cas headed back to work and Dean and Eloise headed out for a short walk to wear her out before her afternoon nap.

The house was filled with the smell of something delicious when Cas got home from work. Dean met him at the door and kissed him while Cas took of his trench coat and hung it on a peg in the entry way. He took Eloise from Dean who headed back to the kitchen with a dishcloth over his shoulder.

“What’s for dinner, sweetheart?” Cas asked as he juggled Eloise to make her giggle.

“Oh it’s a recipe Victor gave me, his version of chicken marsala. He was raving about it at OOPS today, so I asked for it,” Dean answered as he stirred the sauce in the pan. It was delicious and they ate every scrap of it off their plates, Dean saving enough so that Thursday during the OOPS bowling trip, Cas would have it leftover for lunch at work. Then Dean would only have to stop by for a visit and not have to worry about bringing lunch as well.

Dean did the dishes while Cas entertained Eloise and then they went out on the deck for a while to enjoy the crisp fall night. Dean told Cas their Halloween costumes were in and he went in and got them for the big reveal. Halloween was always a great celebration with their family and they revealed their costumes to the delight of everyone at the party Ellen and Bobby held.  They had been Spock and Kirk, Luke and Han Solo, The Blues Brothers, Ketchup and Mustard and other clever pairs. This year they were adding a third member to the mix and Cas couldn’t wait.

Dean showed him the adorable bee costume they had gotten Eloise to remind Cas of the theme they had chosen.  First he showed his own costume, Dean was going to be a bee keeper, fancy hat with netting and all.  Next he showed Cas his costume, a potted gerbera daisy. Cas loved it. He had a plastic terra cotta style pot he would wear on suspenders and a green long sleeved shirt with a darker green stem and leaves, and a fabulous bright pink gerbera daisy head piece that slid on like a hood with his face in the middle of the blossom. Cas was sure they would be the hit of the party again and thanked Dean for finding the costumes.

******

Cas was waiting in his office at lunch time for Dean, who had texted that he was running behind from the bowling event with his omega group. He had heated up his leftovers and was eating them when Ash came by to say that Dean was here with a guy and his baby. Cas got up and found Dean bent over the open hood of a car with Victor holding both Ethan and Eloise. Cas greeted Victor and took Eloise from him, kissing her chubby cheeks. Dean popped up from the hood and kissed Cas on the mouth saying, “Heya Cas, sorry we were late, the bowling took longer than we thought and then Victor here had car trouble.” Victor looked kind of sheepish and Dean said, “It’s not a problem Victor, I told you Cas wouldn’t want you to be on your own with the Ethan with the potential for your car not to start, right Cas?”

“Of course not Victor, a pregnant omega stranded with a baby isn’t good, even in this day and age. I’m sure Bobby or Benny can look at it and take care of it for you.” Cas reassured the obviously uncomfortable man.

Dean piped in, “Actually, why don’t you take Eloise in and nurse her and finish your lunch and I will take a quick look here so that Victor doesn’t have to wait. It’s lunch time and Bobby and Benny both have cars going as it is.”

“Oh, okay, that’s fine I guess,” Cas said and couldn’t quite hide the awkwardness of his tone. He looked forward to Dean’s lunchtime visits and felt a little twinge as he turned alone, well with Eloise, to go back to the office. A little twinge which was _not_ jealousy, by the way.

“Hey Cas,” Dean called out as he jogged over to where Cas had stopped. Dean slid a hand into the hair on the back of his head and kissed him deeply but chastely before saying, “Thanks for making him feel better about this. I’ll try to hurry, but I couldn’t leave him at the bowling alley. It took three tries for him to start his car, ya know?”

“You’re a good friend Dean and I wouldn’t want him to leave you there with Eloise. See you in a bit,” Cas waved to Victor and turned to head into his office. He felt silly now that he might have been misinterpreting Dean’s kindness to Victor.

*******

“…and then these kids kicked sand into poor Ethan’s face and we left to go get coffee,” Dean shouted from the kitchen to the living room at Cas.

The hair on the back of Cas’ neck stood up and he left Eloise on the floor under her play gym and walked into the kitchen, “You went to the park with Victor today?”

“No exactly, no. I went to the park with Eloise and Victor and Ethan just happened to be there,” Dean answered.

“Oh, and then you got coffee?” Cas asked trying to sound nonchalant about the whole thing. He walked up to Dean and pretended to straighten his collar for an excuse to be close to him, feeling a little odd that Dean went to coffee with his friend. 

“Yeah,” Dean pecked Cas on the lips before turning back to the pasta on the stove. “It was on the way back home, it’s that little shop on the same street as the park. We stop there for coffee sometimes and then he walks his way home and I walk my way home.”

“You guys do that a lot?” Cas asked trying to suppress his apprehension. He wasn’t jealous, he had no reason to be. Dean Winchester was his husband and mate and not to mention his childhood sweetheart. Nothing to be jealous about here. 

“Not like we plan it or anything, sometimes we just walk together and grab a coffee on the way home. Hey, Cas? You’re not jealous by any chance are you?” Dean asked smirking.

“Oh no, Dean! Don’t be ridiculous. Why would I be jealous?” Cas asked indignantly.

“You shouldn’t be is all. You’re the one I crawl into bed with every night…the only one who makes me pop my knot,” Dean teased.

“Jesus, Dean, don’t be so crude,” Cas said as he went back to check on Eloise.

“’m just saying there hot pants, you got no worries,” Dean called out. Cas knew Dean was right, but he felt that twinge again.

That Saturday they went grocery shopping together, Dean had been too busy during the week. Cas was just getting over his feelings of jealousy when who should they run into but Victor and Ethan, again.

“Hey Dean. Busy week for you, too I see. Hello Cas, nice to see you again. And there is Miss Eloise,” Victor chimed, sounding a little too happy to see Dean for Cas’ liking.

“Fancy meeting you here,” Dean greeted him turning to wait for Cas to say hi.

“Hello Victor, I’m beginning to thing you might be following my family around,” Cas laughed as he spoke, only Dean could tell Cas was serious.

“Yeah, funny how two men with babies end up in the same places all the time, huh?” Victor shot back in a friendly tone, completely unaware that Cas was jabbing at him. “Well, nice to see you both and have a great weekend, Bela just went to the post office and will be here to get us soon and I don’t want to keep her waiting,” he said nervously.

As they walked away, Cas snorted and said almost under his breath, “Sure, don’t keep her waiting, but make me wait for my alpha any time you feel like it.”

Dean spun his head around and whisper shouted good naturedly at Cas, “I knew it! You are jealous of Victor!”

“I most certainly am not! And I am offended that you are insinuating that I am!” Cas felt the blush as it crept up into his perfect bitch face.

“Momma’s jealous, Eloise…” Dean teased Cas as he spoke to their daughter whose car seat was on the front of the cart.

“Don’t you dare talk to her about me like that…not even if I were jealous, which I am not,” Cas barked out, his voice involuntarily rising in volume. “I’ll be in the car, waiting…as usual,” he choked out the last part and stormed out of the store leaving a stunned Dean with Eloise and a cart of groceries.

Cas was sitting in the back seat when Cas came out with the groceries and the baby. Dean could see that he was pissed but didn’t say anything when Cas wouldn’t even acknowledge him. He could scent how upset Cas was and so could Eloise who fussed most of the way home. He saw Cas place a hand of Eloise’s belly, but his scent never changed and she continued to fuss.

With car seat in tow, Cas left Dean to bring in the groceries. He put away the cold foods first, and then he started on the food for the cupboards. He could hear Eloise making her little talking noises, but heard not a word from his husband.  Dean cautiously peeked into the living room to find Cas trying to nurse Eloise on his lap. She wouldn’t nurse, but kept reaching for his face, seeming to still sense his upset mood. Cas was patting her and trying to encourage her but his eyes were red and full of tears that occasionally spilled over. When they did, he wiped them with a tissue or the back of his hand and whispered to their daughter, “Eat Bumble Bee, Momma’s okay…”

When she finally full on cried and refused to nurse, Cas cried with her, cradling her to his chest. Dean couldn’t leave them crying like that, so he walked into the living room. When Cas saw him he tried to stop himself from crying and wiped his eyes desperately. When Dean approached Cas pushed their crying daughter into his hands and choked out that she wouldn’t nurse before getting up and walking upstairs.  Dean wanted to go to Cas, but Cas had indicated the desire to be away from Dean so he gave him the space he seemed to want. Besides, Eloise was due to eat and go down for a nap, so he warmed up some breast milk from the freezer and fed her before rocking her and settling her in her cradle to sleep.

Cas was curled in on himself on the bed, facing the wall but he stirred when he heard Dean come in the room. “I fed Eloise and she is asleep in the cradle so you don’t need to be worried about her being hungry,” Dean said softly as he approached the bed.

Cas felt the bed dip and the warmth of Dean surrounding him as his husband spooned behind him. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings or embarrass you Cas. I owe you an apology and I’m sorry.” Cas sighed as Dean apologized and he couldn’t help himself and he pulled away from Dean a little.

“Babe, I was kidding and I thought you knew it. I don’t think it’s funny that you are jealous, I don’t want you to be jealous,” Dean said as he pulled Cas closer and turned him over so they were facing each other.  Luckily, Cas was pliant and let Dean apologize.

“I love you and I would never cheat on you. There is no one who could replace you or tempt me away from you. I have no reason to look for anything from Victor other than friendship. Do you understand what I mean?”

Cas nodded and Dean continued, “Can I ask why you are upset? I mean why you are really upset?”

“I'm sure you didn't do it on purpose Dean, but it seemed like every time I turned around, you were either talking about him or spending time with him. It wasn’t a big deal at first, but then my heat came and I didn’t get pregnant, I felt like I failed you. I know you don’t think that, but I did, a little. Then when I came home and he was in the kitchen with you and helping you clean up and he turned around and was pregnant, it just tipped me over the edge. I thought you might think he was a better omega than me.” Cas explained his feelings and actions.

“Cas, he is not a better omega than you,” Dean told his husband.

“Well no offense, but you go to the park and get coffee with him more than me, and you talk about him all the time,” Cas said, sitting up and sounding less hurt and more annoyed as he spoke. “and how was I supposed to feel when you never even called me before coming to the garage with him and Ash came to tell me that you showed up with a man and a baby. Then I come out and there he is pregnant, holding our baby, staring at your ass as you’re bent over the hood of his car.”

“Cas,” Dean pleaded, “you can’t possibly think that I would prefer Victor over you, can you?”

“Well how would you like it if I spent that much time with an alpha while you were working?” Cas retorted.

“I wouldn’t…I would…I’m not sure,” Dean admitted with defeat in his voice.  “But I do know one thing, Cas…” Dean sat up and cupped Cas’ face in his hands. “I love you and you love me and you are my omega and I am your alpha in ways only we understand and I don’t want it any other way. 

“Thank you, Dean,” Cas nuzzled into Dean’s neck knowing his husband was right and just maybe the green eyed monster faded away for now…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments??? Questions??? Suggestions???


	38. Sometimes the Best Helping Hand is at the End of Your Own Arm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas feels the effects of his jealousy of Dean's omega friend Victor and comes to a serious realization. Dean is concerned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being gone so long, but having three fics going was way to much. Now I am going to concentrate on this lovely fic for a while! This is probably and angsty way to come back and kind of short, but I needed to get something up to get me started. I think it is a logical step for Cas...

A few days had passed since “the jealousy episode” as Cas referred to it, and Dean was becoming concerned. Cas was a little distant at times and then other times he was his old self before his pregnancy. He waxed and waned between confidence and comfort with himself and looking like he wanted to crawl out of his own skin. Dean did his best to step around those uncomfortable times, not wanting to add undue pressure for Cas since he already felt responsible for Cas being jealous. It came to a head one night while the two ate dinner with Eloise in her swing. Cas was unbearably quiet and Dean couldn’t help but feel nervous about the whole situation.

“Cas, honey…Are you alright?” Dean asked, voice tense with apprehension. Cas shook his head and Dean’s stomach dropped. He put his fork down knowing he couldn’t eat another bite of his food. He had a horrible sensation in his belly and he reached out for Cas’ hand, but his husband pulled it back and put both his hands in his lap.

Cas looked down at his hands, lip trembling, and said, “I need to tell you something, but it’s not easy. I’m having a hard time, Dean. Since my heat I haven’t felt right and then the whole jealousy thing with Victor…I feel like I’m going back to my old ways before I had the baby…like when I was pregnant and not comfortable with myself. I think I need to make some changes in my life.”

Dean felt like he might just puke, like he had driven the nails into his own coffin, but he stayed calm and  answered his husband with a question, “Can I help you Cas? I love you so much and I’m sorry you’re hurting. I didn’t mean to upset you with Victor, can I make it up to you?”

“Dean,” Cas said softly, “This isn’t anything you did. I don’t want you to feel responsible for any of this. You have been so supportive through the pregnancy and since Eloise has come. This is about me and something I probably should have done long before we had Eloise. It’s something that I _need_ to do before we have another pup. I love you too, Dean. This isn’t me not loving you, or me going anywhere. This is me telling you that I want to find a counselor or therapist to help me help myself.”

“Oh, Cas,” Dean came around the table and knelt by Cas afraid to touch him. “I think that’s great, but why now? You’ve done so well since Eloise was born.”

“That’s just it, Dean. Eloise coming has made me understand that I need to love myself completely before I can love her completely. I was nursing her the other day and I realized something. I have never come to grips with being an omega, your omega. There are parts of my life I just try to ignore or pretend that they are fine and then it occurred to me; Eloise could present as an omega and I would be a shitty example for her. I would unintentionally teach her that being an omega is not a positive thing and I can’t do that to her or any other pups we have.”

Dean told Cas he wasn’t a shitty anything and Eloise was lucky to have him as her momma, but Cas made a valid point that that was what Dean thought, not what Cas himself thought. “I want to think that I am the best Momma, but I don’t…yet. I want to find someone who can help me realize that for myself. Will you be okay if I do that?” Cas asked, a little fear shining in his eyes.

“Yes Cas, of course and I’ll do anything I can to help you…to help you feel better,” Dean promised.

“I wanted to talk to you first, to make sure you would be okay with it. Tomorrow I am going to call Ellen and ask her if she knows anyone I can work with to help myself,” Cas said a little more confidently.

“You have my full support, today and always,” Dean said hoping his words were enough to convey what he meant to his husband. It must have been because suddenly Dean had a lapful of Cas who had let down the wall he had put up over that past few days. Cas had begun to cry and Dean held him as Cas let go great huge sobs into his neck. “Babe, it’s okay…you’re okay…you’re so brave to admit that and to make such a hard decision. I love you…I love you Cas.” Dean helped Cas out of his chair and walked with him to the living room. He sat the two of them on the couch and snuggled Cas until his sobs settled into hiccups. He just hoped, deep in his heart, that Cas feeling better did not mean he didn’t want to be with Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think...please!!!


	39. On My Own...Times Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas goes to therapy and Dean has a hard time, alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please understand that Dean's apprehension of Cas going to therapy is by no means a statement that he doesn't want Cas to help himself. It comes from a place of insecurity for Dean. Also, I have never been to a counselor and I have done no research about this particular component of the fic. I am making it up. I do not wish to offend anyone who goes to a therapist, I just think that after the whole pregnancy difficulty and birth and then the funny heat he had, we can all agree that Cas would benefit from professional help. Dean loves him and is supportive, but he is not a counselor, and Cas is dealing with some heavy issues.

Cas slept heavily after his admission to Dean and woke feeling like a new day was dawning…no pun intended. He got Eloise from her crib and changed her before snuggling her into his arms to nurse her. He rocked her and talked to her, letting her know how much he loved her and how beautiful she was. He promised her he would get himself on the right path and be a good momma to her. He may have shed a tear or two, but tried to stay calm so Eloise would nurse comfortably. He felt good.

After her bath, he passed her off to Dean and showered. He came back to an empty bedroom but smelled breakfast so he dressed for work and went to see what Dean was cooking. Eloise was in her swing and Dean had breakfast burritos on the table with coffee and juice, very formal for a weekday. Usually he just grabbed something quick like a bagel and coffee or Dean might make a pot of oatmeal that he ate standing in the kitchen, chatting with Dean while he played with Eloise. Before he had a chance to sit, Dean pulled him into his arms and hugged him, scenting him deeply. He could smell that Dean was nervous and upset and trying not to be. “Morning, Dean,” he said as he smiled at his husband. He knew Dean was worried about what he had told him last night at dinner and he cupped Dean’s face in his hands and kissed him sweetly. “I love you Dean. I know you’re worried, but everything will be alright.”

“I know,” Dean choked out, clearing his throat and giving Cas one more hug before turning them both to the table for breakfast. Cas made light conversation to which Dean answered with stilted one word responses though Cas could tell he was trying to be positive and supportive.

As Cas gathered his keys and satchel for work, Dean scooped up Eloise to say goodbye at the door like he did every morning. “Tell Momma to have a good day, Eloise. Have a great day, Cas. I love, you. I really love you, babe.”

Cas wrapped his arms around his little family and kissed Eloise on the cheek before sliding a hand up the back of Dean’s neck and slotting their mouths together in a tender, lingering kiss. “I love you too, Dean. I’ll call you after I talk to Ellen, okay?” Dean nodded and gave Cas one more peck before he turned to walk out the door to go to work.

 

******

It had been a long day after what had already been a very long night for Dean. Cas’ reveal at the dinner table had planted a seed of doubt in Dean’s heart even though the logical part of him knew it shouldn’t. Neither Cas nor Dean had ever seen a therapist about their unexpected presentations, though Dean had spoken to Ellen at length over the years. After his initial adjustment, Cas seemed fine and it wasn’t until they decided to have a child of their own that Cas had any issue again. They had simply found a rhythm that worked for them and went with it. Now it seemed that their rhythm was off.

Dean blamed himself and feared that Cas would find fault with Dean wanting them to have their own children instead of adopting or using a surrogate which they had discussed at one point in their marriage. He knew it was ridiculous because Cas had mentioned having another pup, but Dean could not control his thoughts and was beside himself. Cas loved Eloise and was so incredibly good with her, there was no doubt that Cas was happy he had carried her and was nursing her, but what if therapy brought things to the surface that Cas had not even realized he had buried. Dean shook his head at the thought and did his best to not worry Eloise with his fearful scent.

The fact that Eloise was fussy all day made it clear to Dean that he had not been successful. She skipped her morning nap, opting to stay awake until Dean was forced to leave her in the swing in the hopes of reducing the stress she felt though him. It worked and she finally took a bottle well and slept, unfortunately through Cas’ lunch time so Dean could not take her to see Cas. That also meant Dean didn’t see Cas either, so he was forced to wait for the phone call that Cas promised him when he left this morning.

Dean jumped when his cell rang and he grabbed it off the table, answering, “Hey Cas.”

“Hello Dean, is Eloise still asleep? I missed you at lunch,” Cas greeted him.

Dean’s heart warmed, easing his apprehension just a little when Cas said he missed him, “Yeah, she finally went down and she is out like a light. I missed you too, babe.”

Cas laughed a little at Dean’s response, “We sound like pining teenagers, Dean.”

“Maybe that’s not such a bad thing, right. I mean at least we still got it, you know,” Dean teased back.

“Dean, sweetheart, you know I only have eyes for you, forever,” Cas chastised. “I called Ellen and she gave me a few names of therapists. She was really happy I wanted to go, you know? Anyway, I called them all and spoke to them and I’m going to see a woman named Tessa, an omega. She was really kind sounding and she can see me tonight. The others wanted me to tell them over the phone what was wrong and then wait a week or two for an appointment. She was really low pressure and said we could just chat tonight and see where I wanted to take things.”

Dean swallowed thickly, the dry click clearly audible on the phone, “That’s great, Cas. I’m glad you found someone that you think you will be comfortable with.” That was all he could get out before his voice left him. He couldn’t help but feel like Cas should be able to talk to him, instead of a stranger.

“Thank you, Dean. I know you are apprehensive, but I want you to know that I only want to make myself better so we can be better together,” Cas reassured him. “I’ll be home early because my appointment is at four. I think it’s an hour and then we can have dinner, does that sound okay?”

“Sure Cas, sounds good,” Dean answered and the wheels started turning in his mind about making something special for Cas for dinner. Dean was trying to be supportive and to empathize with his husband’s struggle, though Cas had stated he knew Dean was concerned. Maybe making him a nice dinner would help Cas to see that his fear didn’t mean Dean wasn’t supportive.

“Alright, Dean. I’ll see you soon. I love you sweetheart, bye bye,” Cas said sweetly as he ended the call.

Dean smiled at Cas’ tone. He loved Cas and he felt a bit better after the call, “Love you too, babe. See you later.”

******

Cas arrived at three thirty and pulled Dean close, kissing him warmly. He slipped his hand up Dean’s neck, cupped the back of Dean’s head and deepened the kiss. Dean sighed, melting into Cas, eyes fluttering shut. “Hello, Dean,” Cas said as he finally broke the kiss.

“Hey, babe. Welcome home,” Dean said, leaning his forehead against his husbands.

“I’ve got to pack Eloise’s bag and get her in her seat so I’m not late. Can you make sure she doesn’t need to be changed, please?” Cas said as he headed for the nursery.

“What? Wait…why are you taking Eloise?” Dean asked brow wrinkled in confusion.

“Tessa encouraged me to bring Eloise, especially since I’m nursing. She says it helps some omegas relax to nurse or just have their pup nearby. I figure I need all the relaxing I can get,” Cas snickered as he turned again to head up to the nursery.

“Well how about I come with you and wait just in case the baby fusses,” Dean offered. He had been feeling better about Cas wanting to go to therapy, but felt his stomach drop when his husband mentioned taking their daughter with him. It wasn’t that Cas couldn’t take Eloise wherever he wanted but it meant that Dean would be alone, that he was the only one not welcome to go. It was silly, but Dean couldn’t help it.

Cas stuck his head out of the nursery and shouted down the stairs, “Dean, I can handle her and I kind of need to do this on my own.”

Dean changed the baby’s diaper on the couch and felt his emotions bubble back to the surface as Cas confirmed Dean’s suspicions, he was not welcome to go with Cas. He picked up their daughter and made sure she was immaculate before putting her in her car seat. Cas came running down the stairs, bag over his shoulder, grabbed the car seat and kissed Dean quickly on the cheek saying, “Thanks, hon. See you in a bit.”

Dean stood in the doorway as Cas set the car seat on the base in the back seat of his car and watched as he pulled out of the driveway. Once Cas was gone he closed the front door of the house, leaned back on it and slid down to the floor, holding his head in his hands. He was on his own as well, only not by choice.

He directed his energy into making one of Cas’ favorite dinners, Thai crockpot pork with brown rice and steamed broccoli. The crockpot had been going since Cas called earlier and all Dean had to do was make the rice, the broccoli and then shred the pork and add peanut butter to the sauce at the end. He set the table in the dining room and even put a candle on the table. He even made a quick peanut butter caramel sauce for a quick ice cream sundae dessert. Before he knew it, five o’clock rolled around and Dean ran to the bathroom to freshen up and hit himself with a little cologne.

Cas said the appointment would be about an hour, but travel time and dealing with the baby, he was thinking five thirtyish was when he should expect Cas. All Dean had to do was hurry up and wait.

 

*******

When Dean hit his cell phone, the time read 6:46, and Dean laid on the couch not knowing whether or not to be worried or pissed. He knew Cas was probably fine and just delayed at the appointment, but he wished he would just call or text and let him know. Dean prided himself on being an understanding and flexible husband, and not being a knothead alpha who felt the need to control his omega.. He was certainly supportive of Cas and wanted him to be at peace with his omega status, but he was hoping that Cas would include him in the process. Today Cas had made it clear that he would not and that was hard for Dean to accept. They had done everything together until Cas’ pregnancy and once he had the baby they had begun to heal and were nearly inseparable again.  Now, laying on the couch, alone, Dean’s fear of losing Cas was palpable.

Dean heard Cas’ car pull into the driveway and he stood to go help Cas with the baby. He was not quite to the entryway when Cas burst through the door, car seat in the crook of his elbow, frantic look on his face.

Startled, Dean asked, “What’s the matter, Cas?”

“Dean, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Cas blurted out, his face reflecting the words sincerely, eyes glassy with unshed tears.

“What’s the matter? Are you alright? Is Eloise alright?” Dean questioned Cas as his hands checked Cas over and then grabbed the car seat and found a happily sleeping Eloise.

Hearing Dean’s concern, Cas lost control of his emotions and openly wept. Dean gathered him into his arms, anger and self pity flooding away with his husband’s tears. “I’m awful, I’m just an awful husband to you and I’m tr-trying to apologize and y-you’re still so kind and loving to me. I don’t deserve you and you should have s-someone who can be good to you all the t-time,” Cas sobbed.

“What are you talking about, Cas? You are not an awful husband…don’t be silly, and I don’t want someone else, I want you,” Dean corrected his husband. Cas continued to cry and Dean soothed him, “Shhhh…come on Cas…sit with me on the couch, Eloise is asleep in her seat and she’ll be fine.” Dean led Cas to the couch and pulled him tightly to his chest. Cas melted into Dean and as his sobs settled into sniffles, Dean coaxed his husband into telling him what had transpired at the therapy session.

Cas explained that he really liked Tessa and that he didn’t even realize the time had gotten away from him. She had just asked him questions about himself and then Eloise and she even held her as they chatted. Cas admitted his embarrassment as he asked when the session would start and Tessa explained that it had started the moment Cas had walked through the door. She simply continued to ask questions and Cas just answered honestly, and openly because he was so comfortable with her. They discussed Dean and Cas’ presentations, their relationship in general, Cas’ concerns about his gender status, which led to discussing his pregnancy and birthing of Eloise.

Tessa had helped Cas to see that the limitations on his status were minimal in public, and nonexistent with his family. She simple asked who, other than rude idiots in the general population, was telling Cas he had to be a certain kind of omega. She had him outline his important people in his life list and then ask himself if any of them had pressured him into unwanted behaviors. Was Dean, were parents, were siblings, coworkers, friends?

“Dean, she made me realize something very important today. The only important person forcing behavioral constraints on me is _me_! You’ve never forced your alpha status on me, our families are wonderfully understanding, our friends accept us…the only person who has a problem with me is me! When she helped me see how I treated you during the pregnancy…I just…I can’t imagine why you stayed with me. I treated you so poorly because I was too busy trying not to be an omega when all I needed to be was myself, regardless of my omega status. If I had just been myself instead of the angry, sullen anti-omega husband that I was, I wouldn’t have missed so much of that experience and neither would you,” Cas finally finished and sucked in a deep breath.

“I will always stay with you, Cas. I have loved you for so long. I thought you and I had talked about this before, why is it so upsetting to you now?” Dean tried his best to comfort Cas but yet find out why he was revisiting something he felt Cas had already confronted.

Cas picked his head up from Dean’s shoulder and wrinkled his brow in thought before answering, “We did discuss this right before I had Eloise, and before our anniversary, but then when I had her and then had that strange heat, I think some things just came to the surface.”

He and Dean talked for another half hour and Cas told Dean he had mentioned his concern about Cas going to therapy to Tessa, who said he should bring it up. Cas looked rather embarrassed at having mentioned something so personal without asking Dean first.

“It’s not that I didn’t want you to go, Cas. I want you to do what you want to do or need to do. You don’t have to ask permission from me, that’s not what it’s about,” Dean explained. He was quiet for a few seconds before continuing, “It wasn’t you going, it was that you didn’t want me to go. You might find out that you didn’t really want me and then when you came home and took Eloise and said you wanted to be on your own, that left me on my own. I don’t like to be on my own…not physically alone…I don’t want to be without you here,” he spoke softly as he tapped on Cas’ heart.

It was Cas’ turn to pull Dean into his arms and comfort him. “You’ll never be without me, ever…I promise. I also promise that after a few sessions, I’ll bring you with me to see Tessa, she wants to meet you. She thinks you’re very supportive and loving and you know what? So do I.”

Dean and Cas kissed for a few minutes, not sexily, but in a way that connected their souls. Dean knew in that moment that this wasn’t about him, that Cas needed to talk to someone not so close to his issues to confirm many of the things he already probably knew but needed to discuss openly and Dean was okay with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cas is on the upswing here and his heat should be coming along soon again. Will the boys be ready for another pup?


	40. The Favor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas has a revelation during his therapy with Tessa and has a favor to ask of Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of those chapters that I can't get out of my brain until I write it. This will head the boys on a path of fluff towards Cas' next heart and hopefully an addition to their family.

Dean smiled as he gazed at the photo of his little family taking first prize at the downtown Halloween party. They went at Cas’ insistence and Dean warmed at the memory of how Cas bragged to everyone how Dean had planned the costumes. Cas didn’t even blink at being a pink gerbera daisy, something Dean thought he would wear to Ellen and Bobby’s with trepidation let alone go out in public. Cas walked proudly with Dean, the bee keeper and Eloise the bumblebee, talking with neighbors and strangers alike. He had beamed when they won the family prize and Dean smiled so much his cheeks hurt. The oven timer broke Dean out of his memory and he checked on the meatloaf and roasted potatoes he had made for dinner.

Therapy had been doing great things for Cas. He went two or three times a week, sometimes taking Eloise, sometimes not.  It was an unusual number of sessions, but Tessa was happy to accommodate Cas’ desire to work through some things before his next heat. There were a few rough days nestled in amidst the good days, but Dean supported Cas through it all. Some nights Cas walked in the door greeting Dean with a huge hug and chatted up his therapy session. Then the two of them would eat dinner and spend their evening with Eloise who was approaching five months old. A few of Cas’ sessions resulted in Cas walking in the door, handing Eloise to Dean and silently walking up to their bedroom to curl in on himself in their bed. Dean learned after the first time not to approach Cas on these nights unless he made the first move.

Cas sometimes discussed heavy things with Tessa and needed to process through them. He would usually come down to find Dean eating the dinner he had made and would join him. Dean just acted like Cas had come in the door and joined him in his usual manner until Cas was ready to share or interact. Cas would apologize at some point and Dean would reassure him that he didn’t need to apologize and offer to talk about it. Cas usually shared his thoughts, but occasionally he declined and they would end up cuddling on the couch watching a movie or tv show until Eloise went to bed. Cas would nurse her in the rocker in her nursery and then divest Dean of his clothes and whisper, “Help me feel better tonight, Dean.” Dean would lovingly worship his Cas and do his best to help him momentarily forget what he had talked about with Tessa. He could usually feel his husband’s stress melt away as he pushed into him, languidly rolling his hips.   It was usually after making love that Cas would open up to Dean.

It was work for Cas to go to therapy and Dean knew the intimacy they shared after wasn’t what was helping Cas long term, but was a short term bandaid for a painful session. He was so glad that Cas was pulling him into his troubles instead of pushing him away as he did during his pregnancy. It was hard to watch Cas suffer, but as he made more and more progress, Dean knew it was worth it.

*****

It was mid November and Cas’ heat was overdue, though Ellen assured him he was fine. Cas seemed particularly stressed out the day before one of his appointments with Tessa. Dean didn’t say anything, just tried to offer hugs and kisses, knowing that sometimes this happened, even though on this day it seemed extreme. Cas had seemed off since his session on Friday but hadn’t said anything and they had gone to a fall festival with Eloise on Saturday and had even planned Thanksgiving Dinner which they were hosting this year, since Ellen and Bobby had hosted last year. By Sunday morning Cas looked physically ill and Dean decided to broach the subject saying, “Cas, you look and smell like you don’t feel well. Are you okay?”

Cas reddened a bit at his question, which seemed strange, but he came over to where Dean was folding laundry on the couch and sat close to him. Dean wrapped an arm around Cas, who sighed in relief and looked into his eyes. “What is it Cas? You can tell me…I’ll try to help you, if you want.”

“I want...,” was all Cas could get out. “Okay, then…babe, lay it on me,” Dean responded with a warm smile.

Cas opened his mouth a few times to speak but wrinkled his brow and then closed it. Dean waited patiently as his husband found the means to tell him what was bothering him. Finally, Cas formed the words and rattled them out, “I want you to come with me to therapy tomorrow, so I can tell you something that has been bothering me and we need to get someone to watch Eloise, while we go,” Cas turned his face away immediately after he spoke.

Dean felt his stomach drop as the words flew out of Cas’ mouth. What could he have to tell him that he couldn’t say in front of the baby or that he needed to say in front of Tessa? ‘Oh God, please don’t let him leave me’ was all Dean could think at the moment. “Okay, Cas. I’ll come. Is that what’s been bothering you all weekend, sweetheart?”

Cas nodded and put a hand on Dean’s knee, thankfully not pushing away from him. “Just tell me that you’re not gonna tell me you want out and I won’t ask any more questions,” Dean said softly.

Startling at Dean’s comment, Cas whipped his head around and reached for Dean’s face, “No, Dean. No! I don’t want out…ever, though I am sure sometimes you do with the garbage I’m putting you through.”

“That is not at all true, Cas. Don’t put words in my mouth. I love you and we are a family, no matter what, got it?” Dean retorted quickly, trying to dismiss Cas’ thoughts without dismissing his feelings.

Dean had learned from earlier invitations not to press Cas for what he needed to tell him until they were in the session with Tessa, so instead he held him and thanked him for telling him and inviting him and suggested they finish the laundry together and then make dinner.

Cas, who seemed relieved by Dean’s reaction suggested an impromptu dinner with their families and offered to call Gabe, Bobby and Ellen and Sam and Jess himself. When they all accepted, and after Eloise woke from her nap, they went shopping for a simple dinner of chicken and biscuits, with mashed potatoes and roasted vegetables, one of Cas’ favorite Sunday dinners.  Dean certainly couldn’t complain about the choice, silently happy that Cas felt well enough now to visit and eat. Of course Gabe was in charge of dessert.

*****

Sam and Jess had brought Henry over to watch Eloise while he and Cas were at the appointment. Dean had prepared a taco bar before he left in the hopes of things going well and all eating together upon their return.  Cas was nervous and bounced his knee all the way there but Dean did his best to small talk Cas all the way to Tessa’s office. Once there, she greeted them and invited Cas in first. Dean waited only about five minutes before Cas came out and took his hand and anxiously saying, “Would you like to join me now, Dean?”

He looked so stressed that Dean wanted to relieve it somehow. He answered with a smile, “Sure, Cas…Hey, come here a minute.” He pulled Cas in for a quick but firm kiss and hugged him tightly. “It’s just me Cas and you can tell me anything, you know that. We’ll be alright…together, okay?”

Cas smiled nervously, resting his head on Dean’s shoulder for a minute before turning and leading Dean into the office.

“Hi, Dean. How have you been?” Tessa greeted Dean as he took a seat on the couch.

“Fine, thanks. How about yourself?” Dean answered quickly as Cas joined him.

“I’m great. Listen we’ll get right to it. Cas has been talking with me about an issue important to him and he wants to talk with you because it involves your relationship with him. He felt more comfortable discussing it here at the office to start, which is why he invited you tonight. I am just here for support and I am going to let him get going, alright?”

Dean felt his heart sink just a little when she said it involved their relationship, but he was determined to hear Cas out, so he did his best to sound casually supportive, “Okay, I guess. What is it you wanted to tell me?”

Cas turned to Dean and began to talk about his being an omega and sort of denying that status in himself before he had Eloise. He and Cas had discussed this in the past and none of this was new to Dean so he didn’t quite understand why Cas was rehashing it now, but he was here to listen, so he did. Cas began to shake more and more as he talked and Tessa even told him to slow down and take deep breaths. Dean took his hands and soothed him saying, “You’re kinda beating around the bush here, Cas. Why don’t you come closer and just tell me what is bothering you. I promise it will be okay.”

“Dean, you have always been so kind and supportive of me. There are times in our marriage that all I have done is take and not give much at all and you have never been anything but understanding about that,” Cas admitted with unshed tears in his eyes. “What I am about to say may be hurtful to you thought that is not my intention and I want to fix it if you will let me.”

“We are mates Cas, true mates and I know you won’t hurt me on purpose. You never have. You have always been under some sort of stress or been upset when we didn’t get along, I know that. You’re scaring me now though, so just please say it and get it over with, “ Dean encouraged, nearly begging to know. He was concerned at this point that Cas may have been unfaithful or didn’t love him or something else crazy that would destroy Dean. He was not prepared for the words that left Cas’ mouth next.

“Dean, I have always loved you. Since high school, I have wanted to be your alpha and when it didn’t happen like I thought it would and I presented omega, I have struggled. When you presented as an alpha I was devastated for you but relieved for myself, because I could still have you,” Cas took a deep breath before continuing. “When we shared a bed again after your presentation it had been several months and I had been on medication for my heats. When we were finally able to mate during my heat, I resented that. I wanted to be in control of myself when you claimed me. I wasn’t, and…Dean…please don’t hate me, but I denied that it happened. I may have physically been claimed, but I never gave my heart that night and I don’t feel claimed by you.”

“What?” Dean looked at Cas like he had three heads. “What do you mean you don’t feel claimed, Cas. I love you and I claimed you over 10 years ago. We talked about it before that night.” Dean could feel his heart banging in his chest, he thought his head would explode right off his shoulders. “I didn’t force you into being claimed…I wouldn’t…Cas,” Deans sorrow was palpable and he looked at his husband like everything in the past ten years had been a lie. It took every ounce of inner strength Dean had to control his emotions. This was not about him, it was about Cas and he had to hear what else Cas had to say.

“Dean, you certainly didn’t force me to do anything and I wanted to be with you, I still do. But I think part of my issues, my depression, surrounding my omega status is because I denied myself true acceptance when you claimed me. I know now that I am an omega in my physical presentation and I do not have to deny that to retain the alpha qualities in my personality,” Cas explained and Dean saw a glimmer of hope in the darkness he was feeling.

“What does that mean for us now?” Dean asked, holding back tears as Cas’ began to fall. He pulled Cas to his chest and held him. “I want to be yours and I want you to be mine, not just in bed, Cas. I want to be yours in your heart, like you’re mine in my heart. Do you want me to be yours?” The desperation in Dean’s voice was unsettling even to himself.

Cas sat up and took Dean’s face in his hands. “I do want you to be mine and I want to be yours. I do, Dean, with all my heart and that’s why I brought you here, so I wouldn’t be hiding behind this lie anymore. I’ve told you the worst part, the hardest part, in my opinion, but now I have to ask you something. I would understand if you don’t want to do it, but it would mean the world to me.”

“What Cas? Ask me to do what?” Dean nearly demanded before he remembered to reign himself in.

“My heat is late and Tessa and I have been discussing why that may be,” Cas started. Dean’s eyes flashed to Tessa having forgotten in his angst that there was anyone else in the room. She smiled and nodded to him. “She thinks I may be stressed over worrying about telling you everything. I think…I want…Dean, what I’m trying to ask is…would you be willing to claim me again, this time when I am not in heat?”

Dean turned to Cas and released a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “You want me to claim you again? Jesus Cas, I have never heard of that before.” He looked into his husbands pleading eyes and knew immediately he would honor the strange request. Neither of them was in the perfect frame of mind when Dean had claimed Cas. They had both barely come to grips with their presentations. Dean didn’t even have to think about his decision. If Cas needed Dean to claim him or reclaim him, he was going to do it.  “Listen Castiel Winchester, I love you and you are my mate, my husband, and the mother of our sweet baby girl.  I will not only claim you again, I will woo you beforehand. I never wooed you the first time. We just mated after all the shit went down and I think you missed out on that. Prepare to be wooed, my love…prepare to be wooed. If I can win your heart, I will claim you again, how does that sound?”

Dean looked at Cas who was smiling from ear to ear. It was the best smile Dean had seen an a long time. Dean Winchester had some work to do to keep it that way.


	41. Tuesday: Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is a sneaky little romantic...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the first in a series of short chapters detailing Dean wooing or courting his husband. Enjoy!

 

Woo :to seek the favor, affection, or love of, especially with a view to marriage.

Synonyms: [court](http://www.thesaurus.com/browse/court), [pursue](http://www.thesaurus.com/browse/pursue), [chase](http://www.thesaurus.com/browse/chase).

Dean stared at the screen on his iPad reading the definition of the verb he had promised to enact. It was exactly what he had though and he especially liked the synonym chase, but that was the alpha in him acting out. Court also stood out on the screen and that was what he wanted to do, court Cas. He knew he had Cas’ heart, but he wanted Cas to feel special again. He had been through so much and he was really trying to get himself in a good place. Dean had talked with Sam about it a little and Sam had confessed that he felt like Dean seemed to be the one doing all of the compromising and Cas not so much. Dean explained that he did not feel that way, and he was happy that Cas wanted to improve how he felt about himself. Having heard Dean’s side, Sam agreed to help Dean with his wooing of Cas.

Tuesday morning their routine went along as any other day, except Dean had plans. He started while Cas was feeding Eloise in her nursery. He knew he had about twenty minutes, maybe thirty, so he got right down to business. He used the computer to print out what he needed and then quickly wrote out his notes and hid them before slinking back to bed unnoticed.

*****

Cas said goodbye to Eloise and Dean, but except for his goodbye kiss, nothing from Dean. He had been so excited when Dean had said he wanted to woo him before claiming him again. He thought Dean sounded excited too. They had never really had an engagement period before their claiming because of all the issues surrounding their presentations. They had gone through the motions of graduation and then struggled to come to grips with their presentations before simply agreeing to be mates. That did not mean that they did not love each other and belong together, they simply skipped the frills. So as Cas closed the door he couldn't help but be a little let down at the lack of well, wooing, on Dean’s part.

He climbed into his car and that’s when he saw the note. He smiled to himself as he threw his bag into the passenger seat and pulled the note off the steering when to read it. There was a large sunflower in the front of the folded note which read:

_Dear Cas,_

_You are the sun in my sky and the blossom in my garden._

_Have a great day, I love you…_

_Dean_

Cas glanced up towards the house and he swore he saw something by the window but it was gone in a flash. He drove to work with a happy heart.

Knowing that Dean had his Omegas of Preschoolers meeting today Cas knew that he wouldn’t see him at lunch. He was quite shocked when he returned to his office after meeting a client to find a perfectly delicious looking lunch on his desk with a beautiful sunflower in a vase. There was also another note with a sunflower on the front. This one read:

_Dear Cas,_

_If I had a single flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk through my garden forever. I love you, enjoy your lunch._

_Dean_

Cas ate every scrap of the delicious lunch of chicken sunflower pasta, salad and a frosted sunflower cookie. Cas sniffled up a tear or two before smiling to himself as he thought of his doubt this morning, how could he have been so unsure of a man who could woo so well.

 


	42. Wednesday: Chocolate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has a little fun as he continues his quest to woo Cas...

It was no secret that Castiel loved chocolate in any form, so Dean chose it as the medium for the next step in the courting of his husband. He had enlisted Gabriel’s help and couldn’t help but smile at all of the surprises he had in store for Cas. He had snuck out of bed last night, no easy task given the fact that Cas was so happy and cuddly after the sunflower day, and written his notes that needed to accompany the chocolate gifts. He made sure to seal all of the tiny envelopes given the private sentiments he had written to the love of his life, before handing them off to his brother in law while Cas was in the shower. He wished he could be there to see Cas open and read each and every one. He would have to be happy with seeing his face when he came in the door after work.

*****

Cas kissed Dean goodbye and didn’t even worry that his husband hadn’t said a word about his romantic gifts from yesterday. He knew Dean would give him a little surprise sometime during the day and Cas nearly shook with anticipation at the thought of the effort Dean had put into yesterday and probably today as well. He left for work with a lightness in his heart that he hadn’t felt in quite some time.  As Dean waved while holding Eloise on the porch in her little denim overalls and fall leaf sweater, Cas was glad, really bone deeply satisfied that he had taken the risk to tell Dean his feelings. Dean had never let him down and Cas knew how lucky he was that he was not married to a knot head alpha who didn’t care how he felt.

Cas found his first present on his desk when he arrived at the shop. A cup of coffee and one of Gabe’s chocolate croissants were accompanied by a small envelope printed with little artistic chocolate candies and his name in Dean’s writing. He tore the envelope open, eager to read what was surely on the inside. Cas put a hand to his mouth as he read:

_My Darling Cas,_

_Enjoy these treats this morning knowing they remind me of you. You are my very own chocolate croissant, with a crispness in your outer appearance to those around you, but a secret silky center that never fails to surprise and satisfy my desires. I also want you to know that like this chocolate mocha, you warm me from the inside out when the world gets chilly and just your presence awakens my soul. Have a great day,  I love you…_

_Dean_

Cas never questioned that Dean had a sensitive, romantic side, but he had out done himself with this card. He pressed it to his chest and took a bite of the croissant, smiling as he tasted the chocolate interior. He was loved and appreciated and he felt warm before he even touched the coffee.

*****

Cas had a lunch meeting today with Bobby and a client, and they were going out to a fairly nice restaurant. He hoped Dean hadn’t forgotten and left him a surprise at the office for lunch.  The meeting had gone well and the client was hiring them for a complete rehab of his father’s Dodge Dart. They were just having coffee after their meal when the waiter approached with a small box and card for Cas. He recognized the box from Gabe’s shop and knew it contained some of his brother’s handmade chocolates. He opened the card under the watch of Bobby and the client and felt the flush in his face as he reddened. Written on the same chocolate stationary from this morning was a note that read:

_Cas, my love,_

_I need no words to tell you what a tantalizing morsel you are to me as we make love when I can show you with these wonderful chocolates. Simply eat one and as it melts in your mouth, know that I get that same delicious experience on my tongue when I taste you…_

_Dean_

Bobby must have noticed Cas’ blushing because he asked, “Everything okay, Cas?”

Cas jumped as Bobby spoke, blushing even further, if that was possible, and squeaked out, “Fine, just fine.” He cleared his throat and then said, “Just a note from Dean, a little surprise. Would either of you care for a chocolate?”

Both Bobby and the client accepted a chocolate and without thinking, Cas popped one in his mouth. True to Dean’s description, it began to melt in his mouth and Cas remembered the contents of the note and began to squirm in his seat as his mind went to filthy thoughts of Dean using his tongue on him only to be snapped back into reality by the waiter approaching with the bill. Cas was scarlet by now an thankful he had his trench coat to slip into so he could make it out of the restaurant without embarrassing himself or more importantly, Bobby and the shop. He paid the bill and smiled at the card in his pocket thinking tonight might be a great night to be reclaimed…

 


	43. Thursday: 10 Things I Love About You: A Photo Essay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean leaves Cas a series of photos illustrating ten things he loves about his husband as the next installment of his wooing...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this isn't too 'listy', but I thought it was nice to see glimpses of their life through Dean's selection of important moments...

Dean did not claim Cas that Wednesday night even though Cas assured him he was ready. He did make Cas a delicious dinner of spicy chicken mole that contained Mexican chocolate with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s New York super fudge chunk icecream. Dean kissed Cas and they made out like a couple of teenagers after Eloise had gone to bed, but there was no sex or claiming, much to Cas’ disappointment. Dean assured him he had a plan and Cas might have been thinking he created a ‘wooing’ monster! Just to be difficult he made Dean the little spoon and even ground his aching hard length into Dean’s backside, but to no avail. Dean was a determined suitor.

Thursday morning came and brought with it a series of photos that came to Cas throughout the day. It seemed like he had one appear or get handed to him about every forty five minutes. The first envelope said:

_10 Things I Love About You: A Photo Essay for Cas_

_Love, Dean_

The first photo was of Dean and Cas in kindergarten. Dean had on jeans and a sweat  shirt and Cas was wearing khaki pants, a shirt with a button down collar and a sweater, they were holding hands. The note on the back said _: I love that I have known you since we were little and we are each other’s first everything._ Cas flashed back to that time immediately and remembered being terrified of school until Dean had shown up at the door and the two walked hand in hand, followed by Mary and John Winchester and Michael Novak, the only brother who had graduated and legal guardian of the other three boys.

The next photo was delivered by Ash with the morning mail. It was Dean and Cas leaving for college with the impala packed full of their stuff and KSU or bust on the back window. The boys, having long been a couple had their arms around each other and huge smiles on their faces. The back read: _I love that even though our dreams didn’t come true in exactly the way we expected that you stuck with me and loved me anyway!_ Cas might have felt a pang of guilt upon reading that note knowing that Dean had been far more supportive than Cas felt he had been of Dean. He couldn’t help but kiss young Dean and whisper, ‘thank you, Dean.’

After talking with Benny about a part they were having trouble finding, Cas returned to his office to find the third photo. It was a picture of Cas in the kitchen with his eternally messy hair. The note on the back explained:  _I love your sexy bed head. It’s a daily reminder of what you look like when I have taken you apart._ Cas laughed out loud at that comment thinking he hoped he didn’t look like he had just been devoured by Dean all the time.

He stepped into Bobby’s office and was handed the fourth photo. It was a candid photo of them on their wedding day. The back read:  _I love your commitment to me and how special you let me make our day._ Cas may have shed a tear or two thinking how much Dean had enjoyed planning the wedding. He regretted ever having agreed with Gabe that Dean was a bridezilla, because the day had been beautiful in every way.

The next photo was on his desk waiting for him when he went back to his office. It was sitting on his computer keyboard. He paused before opening the envelope and sent a quick text to Dean telling him how much he loved him and how much he appreciated all the effort he was going though. Dean simply sent back a selfie of himself and the baby with smiles. The fifth photo was one of Cas’ favorites of the two of them. It was in Paris on their honeymoon, stereotypical for sure but Dean’s dream.  Cas remembered Dean’s childlike glee at the Louvre, the Eiffel Tower and the Arc de Triomphe. The photo Dean had chosen was a selfie of them in bed in their Versailles style apartment which they had rented for their two week stay. They had shopped at the local shops and street markets and cooked their own meals. It was a wonderful time and the shot of them lying tangled in bed after a long night of incredible honeymoon sex was enough to bring back even the smell of fresh baguettes to Cas. The note on this one read: _I loved the noises you made on our honeymoon and the ones I can still tease out of you when make when we make love now._ God, it had been so long since then but Cas still loved Dean as fiercely as he did in Paris.

Cas wearing his trench coat was the next photo. Cas had found it in the car when he was driving home for lunch. Cas was puzzled by this one and couldn’t even tell where it was taken or why. He read the note on the back to satisfy his curiosity. _I love you in your trench coat, with your nerdy little accountant look. It’s my secret kink that you are good with numbers and the boss of the business office at work. I’ve often thought of me over the desk and you in that nerdy trench coat behind me going over the monthly books…_ Cas sucked in a breath as he read the description and wiggled a bit in his seat. He and Dean had never done anything like that before and he committed that little vision to memory for later.

Dean greeted him at the door and Cas grabbed him by the shoulders, twisted him against the wall and kissed him until they were both breathless. “Hello Dean,” He panted into his husbands mouth before kissing him again.

“Heya Cas,” Dean answered back, “I take it you found number six.” Dean grinned, naughtiness glimmering in his eye as he pushed against Cas and told him lunch was ready.

“You know what else is ready, Dean? I am, I’m ready. Let me feed Eloise and get her down and then we can take a little nap ourselves, huh?” Cas suggested grabbing Dean by the waist as he tried to walk away toward the kitchen.

“Now, now Cas, you have to go back to work and we had a deal. I’m courting you, so no pinchy grabby until I’ve won your heart. There is a process here, babe. Hold on for the ride, right?”

“You have my heart,” Cas whined he was so exasperated. “You’ve always had my heart.”

“One can never be too sure, Mr. Winchester…” Dean dismissed as he put the homemade pizza he made for lunch on the table.

“Margherita pizza, my favorite, “ Cas moaned as he ditched his apparently sexy trench coat and grabbed the hot pizza. “Where is Eloise, Dean?”

"She had a late morning nap, we had a few errands to run this morning. She should be up any minute, so eat up while it’s hot,” Dean answered around a mouth of pizza.

Cas noticed an envelope under his plate and pulled it out and ripped it open. It was a picture of Cas with his brothers at one of their first Christmases as a married couple. The back read: _I love that you have a great relationship with your brothers. You love family and that shows in everything you do. It’s what makes me know that our family will be close as well. I love you, Dean._  Cas looked up at Dean and saw his husband with a little flush in his cheeks. “Dean, these are beautiful gifts, you know. I didn’t know you thought all of these things and I love that you are sharing them with me.” Dean stood and leaned over the table to kiss him. Then he promptly went back to his pizza.

When they were nearly done with lunch, Eloise woke. They could hear her talking in her crib on the monitor.  “Why don’t you go up and get her, she will be surprised to see you after her nap,” Dean suggested as he began to load the dishwasher.

“Sure, thanks for the pizza, Dean. It was delicious,” Cas gave him a quick peck before jogging up the stairs to get Eloise from her crib.  He greeted her and lifted her up, giving her a big hug and scenting her as she scented him back. “Momma’s home for lunch. Are you hungry?” Cas asked as he laid her on the changing table and put her in a clean diaper. He was about to go downstairs when he noticed an envelope on the rocking chair. He picked it up and sat in the chair, settling Eloise to nurse as he looked at picture number eight.  It was a photo of Dean and himself when Cas had done the home pregnancy tests. They did three to be sure even though Dean could smell the difference in Cas’ scent. Cas was holding all three tests in one hand so the plusses could be seen and Dean was hugging him from behind with his chin on Cas’ shoulder, his face spilt into the biggest grin Cas had ever seen. His eyes were like green emeralds he was so excited. Cas breath hitched a little as he read: _I love you for your selfless nature, for facing your fear and getting pregnant with our beautiful little girl. I know you wouldn’t change it now, but it was a big sacrifice when you made the decision and I am indebted to you for that._

Cas felt a definite pang of guilt for this photo. He had not been selfless during the pregnancy and they both knew that. Dean was the selfless person in their marriage and Cas was the grateful one. He pulled the photo of Dean’s beautiful face to his chest as he looked down at their beautiful child. Dean was most certainly right, he wouldn’t change having her for the world, but he would have been better to Dean. He would have let Dean be more involved with his pregnancy and he swore that when he was pregnant the next time he would focus on pulling Dean into the experience, not exclude him.

Dean came into the nursery and knelt in front of Cas. “Number 8, huh?”

Cas motioned Dean closer and kissed him and held him as tight as he could without squishing their daughter. “I’m not sure I deserve this, Dean. I think maybe I should be the one wooing you. I love you Dean, I really love you,” Cas said softly as his tears fell. Dean brushed his fingers through Cas’ hair and then settled behind his neck to pull him in for a kiss.

“You deserve all of this and more, sweetheart. We deserve each other, and we deserve her. Don’t for one minute think we don’t.” Dean sat as Cas feet as he nursed Eloise and they sat in the quite which was peppered but Eloise’s snufflings and giggles.  Before long, it was time for Cas to return to work and he melted into Dean’s hug breathing in his alpha before heading out to his car.

He found number nine on his desk when he got back and tore the paper to see the next surprise. He laughed out loud as he saw the picture of himself and Eloise sporting the same squinty eyed look on their faces. He had never realized that they made the same squinty face. Dean had writted in the back: _I love your annoyed squinty look and I especially love that you have given it to our daughter. When you are both tired and give me that look it melts my heart. Love, Dean._ Cas put that photo on the board by his desk so he could see it often. He had bills to pay for the garage and he spent the rest of his afternoon printing checks and stuffing envelopes.

It was almost time to go for the day when Bobby stopped by to hand him the tenth envelope. He opened it quickly. His eyes immediately prickled with tears and he knew he was going to lose it. The note on the back read simply: _This one needs no explanation. Love, Dean_ It was a picture of Cas holding a tiny Eloise. He was shirtless and she was bundled and nursing at his breast. She was cradled in his arms and he was transported back to that exact moment, remembering the feeling that he expressed in the picture. He was looking straight into the camera like the cat that are the canary and smiling a pure and genuine grin of happiness. He thought about how proud he was that he was feeding Eloise all on his own. It filled his heart and he wept as he clutched the photo to himself. He cried for the memory of that delicate, intimate moment for his little family, for the love he felt for his baby girl and for Dean as well, but mostly he cried for gift he had in his husband, his alpha, who was always there for him and who never failed to show his love and respect to Cas. He vowed in that moment that he would return that love and respect to Dean because he deserved it, but also because Cas wanted to with all his heart.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How is Dean doing???


	44. Friday: Dinner Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean surprises Cas with a romantic dinner date...with hints of further surprises to follow!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another episode of wooing with a detailed meal. Sue me I'm on a diet and I made them eat everything I can't have...

Dean was nervous. His palms were sweaty and his mouth was dry. There was really no need for him to be nervous and he knew it, but he couldn’t help it. He really wanted his plan to come off as sincere as he felt about it. He pulled into the parking lot of the garage and got Eloise out of her car seat. He fluffed her outfit and checked his own shirt, tie and sweater. He had gone shopping especially for today, well tonight for himself, but today for Eloise. She was wearing a sage green, long sleeved dress with intricate fall colored smocking around the shoulders and neck. It had a matching coat and bonnet style hat and with her dark curly hair and blue eyes, she looked beautiful in it. She even had warm ivory tights with little leaves by the ankles and a pair or red suede mary jane style shoes. Dean loved to dress her in beautiful dresses and outfits when they went out. He pushed a grocery cart like a proud peacock if he did say so himself.  He wasn’t even embarrassed to say that he and Cas checked Zulily every Saturday night, faithfully.

Today he wore a sage green shirt and darker green tie under a chocolate brown sweater, yes a sweater, its fall, with pressed khaki pants. They were at the garage to surprise Cas. Satisfied with their clothing, he leaned over and grabbed the bouquet of fall flowers off the back seat of the impala and headed towards the shop. They ran into Benny and Ash first and by the looks on their faces, he and Eloise looked as good as he thought. Bobby came around the corner and stopped in his tracks, “What in tarnation is Grampy’s baby girl doing here lookin’ so pretty?”

“We are here to see Momma aren’t we baby girl,” Dean cooed as Eloise made grabby hands at Grampy Bobby. Cas must have heard the ruckus and soon he joined the group the shock on his face almost comical.

Eloise could bear not going to Grampy, but when she saw Cas she wanted Momma and she shrieked a happy sound and leaned towards him. Dean handed her over and in front of everyone, greeted Cas with a kiss. “Hello Dean, hello momma’s sweet girl. What are you guys doing here? You look so nice today. You match and everything.” He kissed Eloise on both of her fat cheeks and then pulled Dean in for another kiss, maybe just shy of inappropriate in front of the others.

“Hello, Cas. I have come to ask you on a date,” Dean said sheepishly, cheeks colored from Cas’ kiss..

“Really! You got all dressed up to ask me on a date? That’s very sweet, Dean,” Cas said smiling warmly and brushing his thumb over Dean’s cheek. Cas looked at Dean expectantly and Bobby cleared his throat, jerking Dean back into the moment.

Dean jumped and then smiled back at Cas as he asked formally, “Castiel Winchester, would you like to go out to dinner with me tonight?” Dean handed over the flowers as he finished his question.  

“Yes, Dean. I would love to go out to dinner with you,” Cas answered cheeks pinking up as the others cheered and Dean leaned in for a chaste kiss.

Dean continued to arrange the date as if they weren’t married and living in the same house, “Is five thirty okay? That way you can nurse Eloise before we go and she can go to bed when we get back. Gabriel is going to sit with her while we are gone.”

Everyone around them pretended to be surprised about today, but truthfully they were all in on it and thrilled for Cas that Dean was so sensitive to his need to renew their claiming. They all viewed it as a positive step in Cas’ therapy and supported the couple wholeheartedly. Cas had no idea that Dean had chosen the early time because of his secret plans.

“Okay Dean, five thirty. Does she need to eat now?” Cas asked as he smoothed her beautiful dress.

“Yeah, she’s ready and I thought we’d kill two birds with one stone, you know?” Dean answered and slipped his arm around Cas’ waist, walking him to his office to feed their daughter.

 

By the time Dean and Eloise got home, she was sound asleep and he laid her gingerly into her crib for her afternoon nap. He hung up his nice clothes and threw on a pair of jeans and a hoodie until it was time to go to dinner. He had cleaned the house that morning and then picked up the few items Gabe wasn’t bringing when he came to babysit his niece. He had all the stuff for the bedroom in a box under the bed for an instant set up after Cas changed his clothes for the date.

Cas came home at five and Dean was already showered and dressed in his nice clothes from earlier. Eloise was still in her dress and Gabe had arrived. He had coolers in his trunk and would be setting up when Jess arrived while Sam was out running his special errand with Henry. It was a complex plan and Dean loved his family for helping him make it happen and for helping to surprise Cas. 

Dean whistled when Cas came down the stairs freshly showered an wearing grey pinstriped pants, a lighter grey shirt with a red tie and a charcoal fitted vest. Over his arm he had draped his not often worn, black trench coat. Dean literally froze mid-conversation and followed Cas with his eyes.

“Close your mouth there loverboy, that’s my baby brother you are drooling over,” Gabe said, laughing as he spoke.  Dean cleared his throat and chuckled but couldn’t take his eyes off of Cas in his ass hugging pants and fitted shirt and vest that showed off his muscular build. Cas had lost his baby weight for sure, but this is the first time Dean realized he was back to his old shape. Cas was always hot to Dean but this was old school hot so it was even better!

“Well I showed you all the milk in the fridge and you know how to warm it, so is it alright if we go, Gabe?” Dean asked as he made his way to hand Eloise to her uncle.

“Not yet, Dean, I’m gonna nurse her first and then we will go.” Cas took Eloise from him and parked himself in the living room rocker and pulling his tie loose and then throwing it over his shoulder he unbuttoned his grey shirt to nurse their daughter. Dean had to leave the room before he found Cas’ motherly moment a little bit hot and then he would ruin the evening for himself. He and Gabe went to the kitchen to regroup on the activity that would happen before he and Cas returned. Soon Cas came looking for them, clothing back together and Eloise happy. Gabe distracted her and she came to him, while Cas and Dean quietly snuck away toward the front door. Dean held out Cas coat as he slipped his arms into the sleeves. “Almost five months old and this is our first real date, Cas. Feels good, but kinds funny to leave her home to go have fun, doesn’t it?”

Cas snickered as the door closed behind them, “You may be my alpha but you are such a sweet omega on the inside, Dean. It does feel funny, but you said we will be home in time to put her to bed right?”

 

Dean had chosen a romantic restaurant in the next town over. It was fine dining with very low lighting and the maitre d’ greeted Dean by name. Clearly Dean had planned this at great length. They were shown to a table in a quiet corner of the restaurant; it was nearly a private dining experience. The maitre d’ took Cas’ coat and pulled the table out for them so they could scoot into their seats. They were sitting next to each other on a bench style seat looking out into the rest of the room as their napkins were draped onto their laps. “Your waiter, James, will be here shortly,” the maitre d’ informed them quietly as a young server poured water in their glasses.

“Thank you very much,” Dean said and with that the man was gone.

Cas smiled affectionately at his husband, “Dean, this is very romantic. Thank you for arranging this for us.”

“You are very welcome, Cas. I wanted tonight to be as special to you as you are to me,” Dean said leaning in for a sweet kiss. They broke apart as the waiter approached them. He handed them each a card and quietly spoke to them.

“Good evening Mr. and Mr. Winchester, I am James and I will be your main server this evening. If at any time you need something you can speak to anyone on staff and ask for me. I will take care of any needs you may have. We want you to have a wonderful evening. Now let’s get to the cards in front of you. The chef heard you were coming in for a special evening and wanted to prepare a special meal for the two of you. If everything you see on the menu is to your liking, we will start with the first course. Wine will be chosen for you to accompany each dish if that suits you as well,” the waiter was extremely personable and warm as he talked with them.

“I don’t know what half the food on this card is, but I can’t wait to try it all, what do you think, Dean?” Cas looked genuinely happy and excited about the gourmet items on the card and Dean told him he was all for it. Cas did not know it but when Dean had made arrangements for the dinner, he had told them the circumstances of the occasion and asked them if they could make a special meal for them, but he meant a nice steak or seafood dish. He had no idea that it would be this personal an experience. They had simply asked him for a price range for the final bill. 

The waiter seemed pleased at their willingness to go with the chef’s tasting, “Wonderful, I am sure that you will be happy with the chef’s menu, it is fall themed, and I will explain each course as I bring them to you. Are there any allergies or dislikes the chef should be aware of for your dining experience?”

“We aren’t aware of any allergies and we’re game to try anything, right Cas?” Dean piped up.

“Absolutely, although we aren’t used to eating hot food since Eloise, you may have to blow on our food for us,” Cas laughed as he agreed with Dean. The waiter laughed and said he would let the chef know he had carte blanche in the kitchen.

It was strange to be alone for a meal and to not be holding Eloise or talking to her in her seat while they ate.  Cas leaned into Dean and Dean wrapped his arm around Cas’ shoulder pulling him even closer. “This is nice, isn’t it babe? Just the two of us,” Dean said as he took one of Cas’ hands in his free hand and raising it to his lips. “Don’t get me wrong, it feels weird without Eloise and I wouldn’t want to be without her every night at dinner, but once every 5 months is kinds fun, don’t you think?”

Cas dropped his head to Dean’s shoulder saying, “It is very nice, and I agree not every night, but now that she is getting a tiny bit older, maybe once a month would be really relaxing.”

“Good, date night once a month,” Dean said emphatically as he nuzzled Cas’ head.

The waiter appeared with a tray of glasses and a bottle of wine. The two men separated slowly as he set seven glasses in front of each of them and then poured a small amount of wine in Dean’s first glass. He waited for Dean to taste the wine and when Dean nodded, he began to pour into Cas’ glass.  Cas stopped him quickly and the man apologized profusely. Dean spoke up for Cas, “He is still nursing our baby, so not a full glass for him.” Cas’ cheeks pinked, even in the low lighting, at Dean’s mention of his breastfeeding Eloise.

The waiter smiled widely and said, “Of course, just a taste for you with each course then. You can still get the full effect of the pairing with a sip or two and still go home to your little one. Do you mind, boy or girl?”

Cas chimed right in, “We have a little girl, Eloise, and want another one soon. Would you like to see a picture?”

Watching Cas take his phone out to show the waiter, who seemed genuinely interested, pictures of their baby, having mentioned wanting another baby soon, made Dean’s heart swell with love and pride. The waiter told them how beautiful their baby was before finishing pouring the wine and promising their first course momentarily. He promptly returned with what appeared to be a teeny tiny hamburger. He placed the plated down and stated, “This amuse bouche is meant to wake your palate for the meal. It is  pork belly slider with seasonal peach chutney and dijonnaise. Enjoy.”

They ate the little sandwich in two bites and both moaned rather sinfully at the feel of the pork belly melting in their mouths. Dean spoke first, “Dear God that is delicious. I could eat ten of those easily.”

“It was good, almost sensual when it melted, huh?” Cas added as he sipped his wine. “Oh, even better with the wine.” Dean leaned in and kissed Cas, tasting what they had just eaten. Cas scooched closer to Dean and the two shared kisses between sips of wine until the next course came out.

The waiter poured wine into the second glass and removed their empty glasses, placing them on the tray being held by the server assisting him. He removed two wide flat bowls from the tray and set them in front of each of them. “You have curried pumpkin soup topped with spiced pumpkin seeds. One of my favorite dishes here in the fall,” He added as he left them to eat.

Dean slipped his arm around Cas’ waist and they two ate their delicious soup leaning into each other. The wine was also perfect with the course and the waiter had remembered not to give Cas more than a few mouthfuls. Cas, having abstained from alcohol for the last fourteen months or so was proving to be quite a lightweight and began to giggle and get a little touchy feely.  They had finished the soup and Dean wanted to talk to Cas before he was too tipsy.

“Cas, can I talk to you about something before any more food comes?” Dean asked a little apprehensively. “Sure Dean,” Cas giggled but then got serious when he saw Dean was nervous. “What is it sweetheart?”

“Cas, I want you to know how much I love you, how important you are to me. Do you know that, babe?”

“I most certainly do Dean. I have always known that, but especially this week. All of this,” he waved his hand around in the air, “I never expected all of this, but it meant the world to me that you did it. I half expected you to laugh me off and just humor me with a new bite.” Wine certainly made Cas admit things Dean wasn’t sure he would have otherwise.

“Cas…of course I would take your needs seriously. You are…you and Eloise now, are everything to me. I wanted you to know how important your happiness is. I wanted tonight to be extra special because I have a question to ask _you_ this time.” Dean’s voice carried such a genuine loving tone that Cas leaned over to kiss him deeply.

“Ask, Dean…anything…I’m listening,” Cas told Dean as he held his face in his hands.

“It would be an honor of you would agree to be my mate,” Cas’ eyes began to shine with unshed tears. “Would you do me that honor and allow me to claim you as my mate forever?”

“Oh, Dean…yes, thank you for asking…yes,” Cas was overcome with tears and Dean wrapped him in his arms and held him close. He caught the waiter approaching out the of corner of his eye, but must have seen Cas crying and he quickly turned around.

“I’m sorry, Cas I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m so glad you said yes,” Dean soothed as he held Cas.

“I’m not sad, Dean. These are happy tears, and of course I said yes. I’m just such a lucky man to have you,” Cas choked out between his tears. Dean kissed him deeply and firmly, before using his napkin to wipe Cas’ tears.

“Now we can relax and enjoy the rest of our dinner,” Dean almost whispered.

“Were you really worried, Dean? I’m sorry, I didn’t do it to make you worry. I just…” Cas sounded upset and Dean silenced him with another kiss. “I just wanted you to feel loved and desired Cas, that’s all. I’m fine.”

“Thank you, Dean. I want you to know that you are loved and desired, too,” Cas offered as he tried to even his breathing.  Dean threaded their fingers together and they waited for the next part of their meal. The attentive waiter arrived as the boys had settled back into their seats. He inconspicuously slid a small package of tissues to Dean and then placed plates of crab cakes before them. Dean was excited because he knew how much Cas loved crab cakes and there was something called remoulade served with them. Beef tenderloin with lobster and béarnaise mashed potatoes and grilled asparagus followed. Dean had never associated sex and food, but as each course came and went, he and Cas shared touches and kisses, fighting to keep their arousals in control. Next was an apple and fennel salad with citrus vinaigrette and a light white wine.

Dean noticed it was seven thirty when the waiter brought out what he called the cheese course which was a beautiful board full of all sorts of cheeses and fresh fruit. They tasted cheese that they had never even heard of before. The final course came out and Dean watched Cas’ eyes light up at his chocolate dessert. It was thin sheets of dark chocolate with round discs of mousse stacked together in a tower with a quenelle of espresso ice cream and caramel drizzled over the whole thing. Dean had a beautiful puff pastry caramel apple tart with a quenelle of vanilla bean ice cream and caramel sauce as well. They devoured their desserts and fed each other bites like a couple of love birds. They shared messy kisses and finished their wine as the meal came to its completion.

Because of the time, and the fact that he had consumed a little wine, Cas didn’t want coffee, so Dean handed the waiter his credit card saying they were ready to go. Dean signed the slip between whispering sweet nothings and kissing Cas behind his ear, and was sure to leave a hefty tip for the fantastic waiter. They headed for the front door where the valet had their car waiting and Dean had to let Cas drive due to all of the wine. Cas forced Dean to keep his seat belt on and keep his hands to himself all the way home, though they could each smell the other’s arousal. When Cas finally pulled baby into the garage, they tore off their seat belts and clashed their mouths together, teeth hitting teeth and bruising lips. Hands groped and as Cas began untucking Dean’s shirt, he came to his senses. “Cas, babe,” Dean panted into his husband’s mouth, “We have to stop. Gabe is inside with the baby and she will probably want to nurse before she goes to bed.”

“Dean,” Cas said between slowing kisses. “Dean this has been a wonderful evening. Promise me one thing…”

“Anything you want, Cas,”

“Promise me you’ll take me to bed and claim me tonight. Please…” Cas nearly begged. Dean’s face softened as Cas made his request. “You bet, Cas. Tonight it is. Now let’s go inside and see our baby girl, I bet she misses you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are inspiring..just so you know...


	45. A Promise is a Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys come home from their dinner date to a big surprise for Cas and Dean keeps his promise.

Cas had been so tunnel visioned about getting his hands on Dean on the drive home, he didn’t even notice all the cars parked on the street. Dean was glad for that and as they entered the house via the front door all he could hear was a fussy Eloise. Cas would never suspect anything, Dean just hoped that Eloise wasn’t too fussy for the rest of the evening. He sent Cas in front of him as he pulled the door open and heard him call out to their fussy daughter. What Cas got in response was their family and closest friends calling out “Surprise!”

The look on Cas’ face as Gabe handed him Eloise was priceless. Dean had hoped he would be stunned like this, eyes wide and jaw hanging as he cuddled Eloise and read the banner: _Congratulations on Finding Your Mate, Cas!_ Underneath it said, _and Dean too!_ Cas turned to look for him gasping, “What is this Dean? Is this what I think it is?”

Dean pulled Cas into his arms and held him and the baby close. “This is a traditional omega mating party, and it’s all for you babe, all for you!”

Michael stepped out from the group of people and called for everyone’s attention. Ellen and Bobby stood next to him and everyone quieted down. Someone handed Dean and Cas each a flute of champagne as Michael began to speak. “Castiel many years ago you and Dean were mated amidst turmoil and confusion. As your oldest brother and guardian, I spoke with Ellen and Bobby and we decided not to throw the two of you a mating party, mostly because we were not sure you were ready to celebrate. Circumstances being what they were, we simply thought it best to let you just turn into each other and move forward. Looking back, and seeing your recent struggles, we realize that we may have made a mistake. We are here tonight to rectify that, knowing what Dean asked of you at dinner tonight.”

Bobby chimed in, “Wait! Did you say yes, Cas?” everyone laughed at Bobby’s look of relief as Cas nodded with reddening eyes and a quivering bottom lip.

Ellen continued, speaking on behalf of the three people who had raised Dean and Cas since the passing of their parents, “We meant well, but we never helped you celebrate, especially you Cas. We were so worried about your presentations that we never took the time to tell you how happy we were that you were together and inadvertently may have given you the impression that your mating wasn’t the truly significant even that it was and still is…”

Ellen became a little emotional and Bobby stepped in to finish, wrapping an arm around both Michael and Ellen, “So as your parents tonight, we want you to know that we are proud of both of you for coming through that load of crap you had to weigh through to get to this point! We love you and we know that you love each other. Cas your omega status is a gift, it doesn’t matter that you’re bossy and like to work, we love you anyway. Dean you are a supportive and caring alpha, kind in every way and we don’t care that you like to stay home and dress that beautiful baby girl as nicely as you do or that you cook better than Cas.  The plain fact is that you are perfect for each other and we should have screamed that from the mountain tops instead of sweeping it all under the rug. Maybe if we had, things wouldn’t have been so tough for you.”

Michael raised his glass, “To Dean and Cas, may they be loving mates now and always.” Every one cheered and laughed and congratulated the couple, who were both crying at the touching words from Ellen, Bobby and Michael.

Eloise brought the group back down to earth with her renewed fussing and Gabriel apologized, “She didn’t eat much while you were gone. I’m sorry, I tried and so did Jess, but I think she sensed everyone’s mood and excitement.”

Cas hugged and reassured him, “She will be fine Gabe, she just needs to nurse. Thank you for all of this.” They were joined by Michael and Balthazar and after an emotional brotherly hug, they ushered Cas to the rocker so he could feed Eloise. Dean was talking to guests and hugging Sam and Jess. Charlie was snapping photos like crazy as Cas untucked his shirt and loosened his tie to settle her at his chest. He felt one of her receiving blankets come down over him and glanced up to find Bobby was the one offering it and even held it up for privacy until she was all set. Cas and Bobby shared a warm smile as Cas laid the blanket up over his shoulder shielding himself and offering Eloise a chance to settle in and eat. With a gentle pat of Cas’ head Bobby was off to the buffet of snacks at the table in the dining room.

Cas and Dean put Eloise to bed and then came down to spend the rest of the party laughing and enjoying their friends and family. The closer it got to ten, the more guests began to give their final congratulations and then leave. Cas did not know that it had all been prearranged. By ten the house had been cleaned up and returned to its original state except for the banner which Cas insisted they leave hanging for a couple of days.  Ellen and Bobby came down the stairs with a bundled Eloise for a sleep over with Grammy and Grampy. Cas almost objected but then thought about it and decided that he and Dean deserved this night to themselves and simply thanked them.

Cas’ brothers and Sam and Jess were the last to leave and hooted and hollered at the couple on their way out. Dean and Cas’ cheeks were tinged with pink like a couple of embarrassed teenagers as they closed the door and locked it. Cas spoke first, “That was really fun, Dean. Thank you, thank you for the whole night.”

“No problem Cas, you deserved it. I can’t take all the credit, Gabe got with Ellen and then the next thing I knew your brothers were flying in and it was a big shebang! I just suggested it,” Dean explained. Suddenly he grabbed one of Cas’ hands and put the other on his hip ans he leaned over and threw Cas over his shoulder. Cas squeaked in surprise demanding Dean put him down. “No can do, Cas. You made me promise that I would claim you tonight. A promise is a promise!” and with that he carted Cas up to their bedroom and tossed him onto the bed.

The room was lit with dozens of candles scented like lavender, Cas’ favorite and the bed had fresh linens. There were bottles of water and what appeared to be a basket of muffins and croissants for the morning.  Cas sucked in a sharp breath as Dean began to undress and toe off his shoes. Dean watched Cas palm his own cock through his pants as Dean got closer and closer to being naked. Finally in only his boxers, he grabbed Cas’ ankles and dragged him playfully to the edge of the ed. He took of Cas’ shoes and the each piece of clothing, speaking softly, “So beautiful, my sweet omega.  You’re mine right? Just like I am yours. I’m gonna claim you, just like you want me too, alright omega? You want that Cas, I need to know.”

Breathing rapidly and shakily, Cas answered, “Yes alpha…yes please…I am yours and you are mine. I want you to do it.”

“Back up on the bed, hon,” Dean directed Cas as he pulled off his own boxers and crawled up with him. Cas willingly opened his legs for Dean to settle in between them. He kissed Cas thoroughly sweeping his tongue across his bottom lip and inside his mouth, tasting Cas, devouring him. Cas kissed back just as hungrily and his hips sought friction, canting up to brush their hardened cocks together. They both groaned at the sensation and Dean began to explore Cas’ neck with sweet bites and nibbles, drawing whimpers from his husband.

Cas reached up to brush his fingers lightly over Dean’s nipples, feeling them harden beneath his touch. As if in response, Dean moved down to tongue at Cas’ right nipple. He cried out at the feel of Dean’s mouth and relentless teasing.  Just when Dean thought Cas couldn’t take it anymore, he kissed his way over to his left side and repeated the attention to the other one. Cas was bucking his hips up into Dean, grinding their cocks together and Dean began to roll his hips down in response. Holding Dean’s head to his chest, Cas cried out, “Please, Dean…please…”

“Please what, babe? What do you want? This?” Dean asked as he pressed his hips against Cas’.  “You want me to fuck you sweetheart? Fuck you and claim you, like I promised?”

“Jesus, Dean! Yes, fuck me please, alpha…” Cas shouted at Dean’s dirty talk.

With a quick kiss to each of Cas’ nipples, sending a shiver through his husband, Dean took a hold of one of his hips and urged his husband over onto his stomach. “Turn over sweet omega, turn over for me.”

“Yes…yes alpha please,” Cas whined and rubbed his cock into the sheets below him.

Dean got to his knees and pulled Cas up onto his as well. He placed a quick kiss on each cheek of Cas’ firm round ass before dipping into his hole to taste his sweet slick. Dean wasn’t sure who moaned louder but he liked it and licked Cas into a relaxed state of whimpering. He kissed his way up Cas’ back and groaned as he felt his cock brush against Cas’ warm, wet opening.  “Ready Cas, my sweet omega…I love you…”

*****

Cas felt Dean’s cock slip against his slicked and ready opening. He was on his knees, and elbows, ass in the air, ready to be taken and claimed and he didn’t feel anything but good. He never used to like sex like this, except in heat which bothered him immensely. Tonight, he had willingly gone into this position, offering himself to Dean, his loving husband, his mate.  He did not feel compromise, or embarrassment, he felt loved. He felt acceptance, and at the same time generosity of his own spirit in giving himself to his alpha. He was enjoying this and he wanted it more than needed it for the first time. He reached back to grab at Dean’s ass urging him to enter his body. He found himself begging and didn’t care. He wanted this, he wanted to be taken and claimed by Dean, who loved him and respected him. He wanted to give himself completely to Dean because Dean was his and he wanted to be Dean’s.

He felt Dean pull him up and up against his chest, “Ready Cas, my sweet omega…I love you…”

“I’m ready, Dean…so ready…please,” he said with an edge of desire in his voice. As he spoke he felt Dean slide into him in one smooth gentle thrust. “Deeeeean…” Cas called out at the feel of his husband thrusting into him.

“Alright, babe?” Dean checked as he continued to thrust languidly into Cas.

“Yes , come on, Dean. Fuck me harder…” Cas ordered reaching up behind him to slide his hand into Dean’s hair giving just enough of a tug to make Dean growl.

Cas began driving his hips back into Dean’s thrusts and he answered Dean’s growl and increased pace, praising him, “That’s it alpha, right there…” as the desired angle was reached. Cas knew by the way Dean hit his prostate with each thrust that he would not make it much longer so he urged Dean on. “Come on alpha, right there…so close…” Cas urged Dean to bring his mouth to his neck. Dean mouthed at Cas’ neck and Cas could feel the heat of his panting breaths.

“Cas, do you want me to knot you? Need to know babe…”

“Knot me alpha…knot me and claim me…Jesus please…touch me, I want you…” Cas encouraged Dean to complete their re-mating.

“Close Cas, so close,” Dean whispered into Cas’ neck, mouthing at his old bite. He reached down to grab Cas’ cock and he gave it only two quick strokes before Cas came, screaming, “Alpha…Dean…!”

At Cas’ unabashed offering of himself and the sound of his voice when he went over the edge, Dean slid his knot into Cas and bit down on the old mating mark, claiming Cas as his omega. Cas shrieked as Dean’s teeth clamped down on his neck, but he pushed Dean’s face into his neck wanting him as close as possible.

Dean laid them down on their sides as they came down from their orgasms, and Cas felt Dean as he continued to come inside of him. Dean licked at the bite, trying to stave the slight bleeding and Cas heard the apprehension in his voice as Dean asked, “You’re mine omega?”

He felt Dean smile into his neck as he confirmed, exhausted but firmly, “Yes, yours alpha, always yours.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments welcome and inspire me greatly...


	46. If at First You Don’t Succeed, Try, Try Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas' heat approaches and Dean worries that Cas will regress in his progress since the reclaiming.

A week after Dean reclaimed Cas, he went into heat. Cas had been in great spirits and Dean had sensed a shift in his husband’s general attitude. He seemed content and free despite that he had asked for Dean to claim him. Dean had tried to talk to Cas about it and he described it the best he could. Cas explained that although he wanted to be claimed by Dean ten years ago, he felt like it was expected and he was somewhat obligated. This time, he said it felt like his choice and it was exhilarating and liberating, but he didn’t want Dean to feel badly about the initial claiming because Cas had been willing, just not honest enough with himself to be truly present. Dean loved Cas with all his heart and decided to move forward and enjoy Cas’ new found contentedness with no bad feelings. It didn’t mean that Dean wasn’t apprehensive about Cas’ heat.

In the past, whenever Cas had made a step forward in his personal happiness, his heat had taken him two steps back. Dean was nervous when Cas indicated that he felt twinges of his heat.  However, unlike times in the past, Cas took an active role for planning his heat this time. There was an air of excitement in the house as Cas packed a bag for Eloise and he made the call to Jess as well give her a proposed window of when he thought he would fully go into heat. It was Saturday and he was buzzing around the house getting things ready. He had purchased Eloise a little overnight bag for his heats insisting that as she got bigger, her clothes no longer fit in the diaper bag and she needed it. Of course it had bumblebees on it.

After lunch, Cas worked on laundry while Eloise slept. Dean was raking leaves and when he came in he found Cas putting away the last of the clean dishtowels in the kitchen. He came up behind his husband, wrapping him in his arms and kissing him over his recent bite mark. Cas hummed in pleasure at the sensation and turned into Dean taking his mouth in a sweet kiss. Tipping his head, Dean deepened the kiss and whispered, “You seem very happy today, Cas.”

“I am happy Dean, very happy. We have a beautiful baby girl, this lovely house, and I have you, the most loving, supportive alpha in the world. Annnnd,” he added emphatically, “in a few days I’m going to go into heat and we are going to make a pup together.” Dean loved the way Cas blushed when he talked about them making a pup. He growled and pressed Cas against the counter, “I can’t wait Cas, I love to see you with pup, just love it,” He kissed Cas deep and dirty and found that Cas gave it back as good as he got it, igniting a little fire in Dean’s boxers. He grabbed Cas by the ass, and hoisted him up onto the counter grinding their groins together and moaning. Cas grunted as Dean lifted him but got on board quick and wrapped his legs around Dean and locking his ankles to pull Dean in closer. He shifted his hips to help Dean with the friction and just as Dean was sliding his hand up under Cas’ shirt to touch his hardening nipples, they both heard Eloise babbling in her crib.

Then Cas surprised Dean. Normally if they were _involved_ and the baby woke, Cas jumped away from Dean like he had been burned and ran to get her, almost like he felt guilty or something. Today when he heard her, he leaned into Dean pressing their foreheads together and huffed, "Please tell me I imagined that.” “Nope, sorry,” Dean commiserated as they heard her again and Dean pressed final kiss as Cas unlocked his ankles and stood to arrange his clothes, announcing, “We will pick up here after dinner, alpha.” Dean grabbed him and pulled him in for a final filthy kiss, which was really more like their smiles meeting than a kiss.

Cas went to get the baby and came down to nurse her in the rocker. “Dean we need to go to the grocery store before my heat so we have good snacks in the house, okay?”

Dean brought Cas a glass of water, “Sure babe, wanna go when you finish here?”

“Yep and bring your research on starting solids, Eloise is gonna need some real food if I’m gonna get pregnant. Right big girl? It’s time to eat more than what Momma gives you.”

Dean was like a giddy child who was told they could get a toy at the store. He ran to his desk and grabbed his lists; he was long past research and ready for shopping. He had charts and tracking grids to watch for allergies, tiers of lists of foods starting with the simple things and moving on to more complex as she tolerated them. He could hardly contain his excitement. He glanced over at Cas who was helping Eloise to switch sides, he caught Cas eyes and saw admiration as his husband smiled at Dean’s equally pleased look. “Don’t forget to bake my favorite cookies, alpha,” Cas ordered as Dean went over his lists and chose one, titled: The First Step in Solids.  Dean ran to the kitchen and added a few things to the list that Cas had made while he was raking. He couldn’t help but notice that Cas had indeed put lots of snacks on the list, maybe, just maybe, Cas wouldn’t take those two steps back this heat. 

******

Cas woke up Monday at four in the morning and the trembling had begun. He slipped out of Dean’s arms and went to the bathroom; his slick was starting to increase but not bad yet, enough to change his underwear but not enough to wear a pad. He went to the nursery and though he hated to do it, he woke Eloise to nurse her, knowing that by the time Dean woke, he would be in full blown heat and needing Dean’s knot. She scented him as he lifted her and she seemed to understand the situation and was happy to nurse early. She latched on greedily as if she knew that it would be her last chance at the true source for a few days. Cas spoke to her sweetly explaining that she would be going to see Auntie Jess, Uncle Sam and Henry for a few days. He explained that Grammy and Grampy would probably visit and that he knew she would have fun. “Momma and Daddy need a few days together so you can have  little brother or sister soon, okay? You will have a good time and maybe you can visit, but if not it will be okay, you and I will be fine apart for a couple of days, right, my big girl!” she stuck her fingers in his mouth as she suckled away and as he looked up he saw Dean standing in the doorway, leaning on his shoulder. When Cas made eye contact, Dean joined him at the rocker and kissed him chastely, cradling his face in his hands. “God I love you, Cas. You are a beautiful person, inside and out. I wasn’t going to say anything, but listening to you talk to her just now…I just love you.”

“Oh Dean, you have no idea how much you mean to me. I’m really looking forward to this heat, just the two of us. I’m just about there, I texted Jess and she’ll be here soon. I just wanted to nurse Eloise one more time and give her a bath like I usually do,” Cas explained leaning back in the rocking chair.

Dean took a moment, he was emotional after Cas’ admission about the heat and he cleared his throat and spoke as he ran his fingers through Cas’  hair, “You do that babe, I’ll make your cookies and pack her diaper bag with her bottles and milk. Do I need to pack anything else for her?”

Cas shook his head, “Nope, she’s all packed including her spare bumblebee that smells like us. Thanks, Dean…for everything.”

Dean kissed Cas once more and went to start the cookies and packing. He could hear Eloise splashing in the tub and shrieking with joy as she always did when Cas bathed her in their bathtub. She was kind of big for the baby bath and sometimes he bathed her in the kitchen sink, but on the weekends, he used their bathtub and it was fun to hear her babble and play. He came down with her dressed to the nines in a pink turtleneck and overalls covered in rosebuds. She had a little pony on top of her heard with a pink bow and Cas had brought her pink checkered wool swing coat with a hood and her pink knit cap and mittens. Dean was putting the trays of cookies in the oven and then he took the sweet baby and encouraged Cas to drink some water. He was going to make waffles after Jess came, they probably had the time before their first round together.

Eloise cried for the first time leaving them. She had usually not noticed when she was taken from the house or when her parents left to go out, but this time she seemed to know she was going and when Jess left it was with a wailing Eloise who made grabby hands at them through her little mittens. Dean thought it would stop his heart. Cas closed the door and Dean expected Cas to crumble but it was Dean who fell apart and Cas who came to the rescue. “She’s alright, Dean. When she sees Henry and Sam, she will forget us for a while and play,” he tried to comfort Dean as he buried his face in Cas’ neck. “She was making grabby hands in those little mittens and I could just picture her fat little fingers…” Dean cried, “She was asking for us and we let her go, I should have driven her over there and helped her get settled..I…I …I,” He sobbed into Cas’ shoulder.

“Dean, now that she is old enough to understand separating, we did the best thing and didn’t prolong it. It would have been very hard to leave her and you would have had to drive home upset and that would not have been safe,” Cas reasoned with his husband, but he stroked his hair softly, knowing Dean needed the touch to ease his ache. He held Dean until he quieted and then said, “Why don’t you shower and I’ll start the waffles, alright?”

Dean raised his head and sniffled, wiping his nose with his sleeve, and Cas could almost picture Dean as a young child again, “No Cas, I’m fine. Let’s eat and then shower together, I’m sorry for making a fuss.”

Cas stayed with Dean while he made the waffles and helped by making a big fruit salad. They could have some with breakfast and later in between knotting, it would be a healthier choice to go along with all of the junk Cas had bought for them.

After breakfast and a shower, Dean tucked Cas back into bed and told him to rest for a while. Cas was overly tired,  getting sweaty and his slick was more prominent, but he was not in full blown heat yet. Dean went down to place a call to Ellen to be sure Cas was alright and threw some dinner in the crockpot so they would not have to cook as much later. Ellen assured him Cas was fine, he was not sick this time at least and his body had to regulate itself over time. It was not quite lunchtime when he heard Cas call for him.

“Deaaaan!  Alpha…I need you…” Cas called but not in a hurting, needy, regretful tone like his last heat. This was a tone of desire and maybe even a little playfulness. Dean jogged up the stairs and stopped Dean in his tracks when he entered their bedroom. Cas had folded back the covers and was completely naked, ass in the air and smiling, waiting for Dean. When Cas heard him enter the room and stop, Dean swore he wiggled his butt at him…wiggled his ass in temptation to be exact. Yep, sure enough, Cas rose up onto his hands and shook his ass again as in a sultry tone he said, “Come on alpha, don’t keep me waiting…”

That was all it took for Dean to let out a growl and shuck his clothes as he made his way to the bed. He crawled up behind Cas on the bed and beginning at his toes, he kissed his way up his omega’s feet and calves, licking at the back of his knees before going right up his thighs to the very ass he had been shaking at him. Despite Cas’ whines and moans, he skipped right over the most important part and kissed back down the other leg ending back down at Cas’ toes. Cas called out to him and just when he thought Cas could stand it no longer, Dean grabbed a cheek in each hand and dove in to his sweet slick. Cas gasped as the sensation hit him and he drove his hips back, fucking himself onto Dean’s tongue, crying out, “Oh jesus, Dean… Alpha please…please…so good…” Cas sank back down onto his elbows and offered himself to Dean, who took the hint and kissed Cas’ open wanting hole one more time before draping himself over his shaking and sweaty husband and sliding home into the tight, warm, wetness, groaning at the feel of being inside him. Dean stilled until Cas nodded and then grabbing his hips Dean pulled nearly all the way out before thrusting right back in for more of that slick warmth. Both of them moaned wantonly and with each stroke of his cock entering Cas’ channel, they drew closer and closer to their climaxes and Dean’s knot. “Fuck, Cas…so tight and so hot…” Dean cried out. Cas mumbled a lot of gibberish as his heat often made him do, but Dean could make out, “Alpha, more…please…harder…knot…” Dean obliged and the sound of his cock pounding into Cas’ slick heat took over the room. It drove the alpha in Dean over the edge and he warned Cas, “So close sweet omega…so close…” He reached beneath Cas and found his achingly hard cock. Dean could tell Cas had been trying to gain friction on the bed and he used some of the dripping slick to ease the way as he stroked Cas to orgasm. Cas screamed Dean’s name loudly as he came and Dean felt his knot pop as he slid it in place, locking them together and began to fill Cas with his seed. They stayed in that position stunned for a few minutes and then Dean worked them onto their sides, the movement triggering multiple orgasms from him, more come depositing in his receptive omega’s body.

Cas was sweaty and shaking and nearly out already. Dean held him and spoke sweetly to him, arranging their limbs comfortably and letting his omega rest. Fever, quenched until the next wave of heat, Cas turned his face up for a kiss, “Thank you Dean…thank you…I feel so much better…I really enjoyed that.” Dean just kissed him, if he spoke now he would ruin the moment by crying. They had not had such mutually enjoyable heat sex since they were much younger, and Cas looked blissful in his post orgasmic state, no crinkles in his forehead or tightness of anxiety in his limbs…just blissful relaxation and milking Dean’s knot.  It was early, only the first knotting of many, but Dean hoped that in this relaxed state, that this time Cas would catch and become pregnant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love to know what you think...


	47. Tom Petty Was Right...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas have a long week of waiting before they can see if Cas is pregnant. They keep themselves busy by introducing Eloise to solids. Cas gives Dean a scare at the lab, but they all come through it in stride...together!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff...lots of fluff...finally!

Dean’s heart swelled as he watched Cas buzz around the house, getting ready for Eloise to come home from Jess and Sam’s. The omega hummed as he cleaned the last few surfaces of the house that had fallen victim to heat sex. It took a lot of odor neutralizer to remove their combined scent and every once in a while Cas would catch Dean staring at him and blush in response.  It was safe to say that Dean felt like a newlywed or newly mated couple.

Cas’ heat had been a wonderful week, a few days longer than normal, and Dean hoped a guaranteed pregnancy. Cas himself enjoyed, actually enjoyed, his heat and was needy at times but he had taken the initiative as well and been playful in ways that brought them closer than ever. At one point when Dean went out to check on Eloise, he had continued to struggle with the separation, he came back to find a note and a blindfold on the front door telling Dean to put it on and find his prize using only his sense of smell. That particular game ended with a particularly vigorous knotting under the dining room table.  He also ran through the house and out into the yard encouraging Dean to _chase_ him. Dean might have cried after that round but only because he was glad Cas was able to have fun while in heat.

Now, while preparing for their pup to come home, the two shared tender looks, touches and chaste kisses. It was Sunday and their little family would have the entire day to enjoy each other. Dean could not smell a difference in Cas’ scent, but he was not the best alpha at scenting change early.  They would wait a week and take a home test, hoping for the best. Dean knew his family was dying to know if Cas had caught this heat, but out of respect and concern for what happened last time, no one inquired.

******

It was a long week, waiting until it was time to take the home test, only broken up by the excitement of feeding Eloise solids for the first time. They had decided to wait until after Cas’ heat to begin this exciting step so that they could be the ones to feed her each new food. The first food Dean and Cas gave her was rice cereal and she loved it. She ate a huge bowl of it for breakfast and dinner, with Cas nursing her throughout the day as well. Cas delighted in watching Dean feed their baby girl with a spoon. It was darling the way Dean opened his mouth each time he offered her a bite. The only thing more precious was the little wide eyed face she made and the combination giggle and hum she made when she tasted the food. Cas was so emotional about the entire affair that he was sure he must be pregnant.

Dean woke up Sunday morning to the feel of Cas shaking him. “Sweetheart, Dean…let’s take the test before Eloise gets up, come on.” Dean startled fully awake at Cas’ invitation and kissed his husband, unable to contain his excitement. Dean sat on the tub while Cas peed on the test stick and then set the timer on his phone for five minutes. Cas sat next to Dean on the edge of the tub and they held hands while they silently waited.

They jumped when the timer went off but Cas couldn’t look. They had decided to do the home test before going in for a blood test. “You look, Dean…I…I can’t.” Dean stood and pulled Cas to his feet, holding him to his chest and walking them both to the counter. Cas buried his face in Dean’s neck as Dean peered over at the stick to see the results. Dean took in a sharp breath before crying out, “Oh, Cas! Thank you babe, thank you, thank you,” he said as he held Cas tightly and sobbed at the positive result. Cas turned and grabbed the test and saw the plus sign in the window indicating that hewas pregnant. He held Dean and they both cried at the thought of becoming parents again, but Cas cried for the chance to genuinely enjoy the experience of a pregnancy and include Dean in the whole process this time. They considered themselves very lucky.

Monday morning Cas did not go to work, but instead called the omega clinic to report his home pregnancy test results and make an appointment for an initial visit. The receptionist forwarded his call to the nurse line and as luck would have it Jo answered. Cas decided to tease Jo a little and pretend he didn’t know it was her. She answered the line, “Open Door Clinic, Nurse Jo speaking.”

“Hi Jo, this is Castiel Winchester and I am a patient of Ellen’s and I need to make an appointment,” Cas held back the information about the test and he could hear the gears in Jo’s brain spinning into motion. However, not to be outdone, she played the ball right back into his court.

“Oh, okay Mr. Winchester and what would be the purpose of this appointment…just so I can book enough time with Ellen,” Jo answered without a waver in her voice. Cas thought she was probably beet red with excitement on the other end.

“Well you see, I had my heat over a week ago and yesterday I took a home pregnancy test and it was posit-“

Jo screaming on the other end cut Cas off completely and he held the phone away from his ear as he heard, “Mom…Mom! I told you he would get pregnant this time…Cas…Mom it’s Cas on the phone and his home test was positive.” He then heard his mother in law give a loud hoot and then the phone was rustling as if the two of them were fighting over it.

“Cas, honey,” apparently Ellen was the stronger of the two, “Sweetheart, I’m so happy for you. Oh I love you guys so much.” Cas may have heard her voice catch as he thanked her but then she cleared her throat and her professional side came out. “I have a few questions, Cas. Was it a strong reaction in the results window?’

“Yes, mom it was a good strong plus,” Cas answered.

“Any symptoms or obvious scent changes,” Ellen continued

Cas told Ellen that he had not experienced any symptoms and neither he nor Dean had scented the pregnancy yet. Ellen laughed, “Well, no offence Cas, but neither you nor Dean are the best scenters.  We need to get you to the hospital lab for a blood test to confirm. I will send over the order, you just head over there sometime this morning, they are already open. Do you have time to make the drive?”

Cas chuckled back at Ellen’s comment about their noses and added, “We have all the time in the world for this, Mom.”

Pretty soon Cas was sitting in a lab chair, holding Dean’s hand as the tech drew his blood. Cas did not like to have his blood drawn or needles in general, so he leaned into Dean as the needle went into his arm. He made the mistake of looking at his elbow as the tech pressed the cotton square on his arm and taped it tight and the next thing he knew, Dean was helping him put his head between his knees. They had to call a nurse, who brought him some orange juice and took his blood pressure. Dean sounded worried, “Cas, babe are you okay?”

“I’m fine, really Dean. I shouldn’t have looked at my arm, I’m sorry,” Cas apologized. Dean kissed him and when he had finished the juice, the nurse let Dean take him home.

Dean carried the baby in the house and laid her in her crib for her late morning nap and then went back to help Cas into the house. “Thank you for waiting for me, Cas. I know you don’t like to be babied, but I don’t want you to faint again,” Dean said as he walked Cas inside and upstairs. He put him in pajama pants and tucked him into bed. As he kissed Cas to leave him for a nap, Cas grabbed his wrist and asked softly, “Stay with me? Just til I fall asleep?”

Dean’s eyes softened at his husband’s request. Cas had never wanted him to coddle him when he was pregnant with Eloise. “Sure, Cas. Let me get out of my jeans.” Dean slipped into pj pants and then into bed with Cas. “Sleep, Cas,” Dean soothed, rubbing Cas’ back. “You’ve had a busy morning, babe. I love you.”

*****

Dean had gotten up when he heard Eloise playing in her crib. He took her downstairs and warmed up a bottle of Cas’ milk from the freezer letting his husband sleep as long as he wanted, or at least until the phone rang. He knew Cas was dealing with the possibility of being pregnant much differently than last time, but Dean also knew that Cas was worried and being worried combined with the lab incident, wore him out.

Dean ran up the stairs when he heard Cas’ cell ring in the bedroom. Cas was fumbling for it and sitting up with the best case of bed head as Dean and Eloise joined him. “Hi Ellen,” Cas said warmly in his gravely wake up voice. A smile spread across his face as he said, “Thank you, Ellen, that’s fine, yes you can tell Bobby. No! Wait…don’t tell anyone, and tell Jo not to say anything. I want to surprise everyone, okay?”

When he ended the call, he threw himself in Dean’s lap and nearly crushed Eloise as he kissed Dean roughly on the mouth. “You are a beast of an alpha and you have officially knocked me up…again.”

Dean knocked them over on the bed, pulling Eloise out from between them and he covered Cas body with his easing his way between his legs. He ground their hips together and kissed Cas, slipping his tongue into his mouth. “I love you Cas, I love you, I love you, I love you,” Dean whispered as he kissed his way down to Cas’ belly. When he got there, he peppered Cas’ precious tummy with kisses and told their tiny, newly formed child hidden so safely, “And I love you, itty bitty baby. I love you already.” Their little love fest was interrupted by a complaining Eloise who could not turn herself over. Dean pulled her closer and told her all about her Momma having another baby. They played on the bed together for a while, the three of them, well technically now the four of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are welcome and muchly needed, truthfully...


	48. He’s Havin’ my Baby(and it ain’t always fun…but it’s worth it)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas begins to feel pregnant and Dean worries that Cas will shut him out again. With Christmas and the big reveal approaching, they both worry that their families will be upset that they waited so long to say anything. Cas is heartbroken over a change the pregnancy brings in his relationship with Eloise...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in updates, work is sucking royally and zapping the life out of me. I'm hoping updating will cheer me up...

It took only a week for Cas to begin feeling symptoms of his pregnancy. He was a little surprised because he had not felt anything quite so quickly with Eloise. It all started when he and Dean were getting frisky one night after putting Eloise to bed. Everything was fine, better than fine actually, Dean had worked Cas into his favorite kind of frenzy and the omega was practically begging Dean to fuck him. Dean was between Cas’ legs, which were wrapped tightly around his husband and encouraging him with his heels on his ass. Dean lined up to slide into his eager husband but noticed Cas wincing when he usually sighed. Cas assured him he was fine but on the third try, they both agreed they should stop.

Dean soothed a concerned Cas, “It’s alright, Cas.  I’m gonna look in the expectant Omega book, but I’m pretty sure it’s normal in the first trimester.” They looked it up together and sure enough, hormonal changes could cause a temporary lack of slick. They decided to just go to sleep and call Ellen in the morning to confirm. Dean was prepared to treat Cas with kid gloves concerned that he had not reacted well to pregnancy changes with Eloise. However, when he turned out the light and pulled up the blankets, he was grateful to find himself with a snuggly Cas pressed right up against him.

“I’m sorry Dean. I wouldn’t get you all worked-“ Cas started to apologize again, but Dean cut him off with a gentle kiss. “Don’t, Cas. Don’t apologize for something that isn’t your fault. We’ll be fine. Things will even out eventually, and then we will have a lot of catching up, huh?”

“I love you, Dean,” Cas said softly and pulled Dean closer burying his face in Dean’s shoulder. Dean heard a few sniffles so he just held Cas and rubbed his back, “I love you too, babe. Thank you for letting me help you, now try to sleep, sweetheart…try to sleep.”

*****

Cas had a great plan for revealing to the family that they were having another pup.  He had contacted Charlie and set up a photo shoot for the family. It was the morning of the shoot that the nausea started. Dean was in bed with Eloise while Cas took his shower. The water in the shower had stopped and Dean knew Cas was getting dressed. He was about to get up when he heard the sink turn on and Cas start to brush his teeth. Suddenly he heard an unfamiliar noise and then he heard Cas vomiting. He plunked Eloise on his hip and darted into the bathroom. Cas was standing in front of the toilet, bent at the waist and barfing. Dean noticed his toothbrush in the sink with some vomit but he left it to get Cas a cold washcloth. He actually had to use the tub to get it wet. He spoke softly to Cas and placed a hand gingerly on his back, before putting the washcloth on the back of his neck, “You alright, babe?”

“Yeah, thanks, Dean. I gagged when I was brushing my teeth,” He shuddered at the thought and Dean took the cloth in his free hand to wipe Cas’ face. “I threw up in the sink first,” Cas said as he curled into Dean side.

“I saw that...let’s get you to bed with Eloise for a minute while I clean that up for you and then we can go downstairs,” Dean said, leading Cas back to the bedroom and helping him lay down before handing him the baby. He headed back to the bathroom and got the cleaner out from under the sink to scrub it clean. He tossed out Cas’ toothbrush and mentally noted to get Cas a new one today when they were out. He found Cas sitting up when he returned to the bedroom, “You feeling better, Cas?”

“Yes, I’m a little nauseous but I don’t think I will puke again. I’m sorry you had to clean that, Dean. Thank you,” Cas answered him.

“No worries, babe. Anything for my little momma,” Dean assured him. “Let’s get everyone some breakfast and maybe some ginger ale when we go out, huh?” Cas managed to eat half a bagel and drink a little juice while Dean fed Eloise her cereal and ate his bagel.

They got Eloise into her outfit for the photo shoot and Dean and Cas changed as well just as Charlie showed up. They made her promise not to bring Jo and she had come alone. It didn’t take long and Cas was looking better since he ate, so the picture was adorable. She made Cas and Dean go upstairs for a while and she took a few surprise photos for them as well. They were very excited, they had big plans for revealing the pregnancy to their families.

December went by in a blur of decorating, Christmas shopping and unfortunately, nausea. They were trying to keep it from their family and since they had not mentioned anything about being pregnant or not being pregnant, no one asked. Dean felt bad because he knew that in particular Gabe was worried about Cas, and he assumed the rest of the Novak brothers were equally concerned. He knew they were thinking that Cas had not gotten pregnant, and were probably stressed over it, but Dean and Cas wanted to reveal their news on Christmas and had wrapped a framed photo for each family member as part of their gift. He hoped the surprise would ease the sting of being kept in the dark for so long.

About two weeks into the pregnancy and since then, Eloise had been fussy while nursing. It began to take her longer to settle down to nurse or she would only nurse a little, but when Dean offered her a bottle she would guzzle it down. Dean could see Cas becoming frustrated and suggested that Cas talk to Ellen and Eloise’s pediatrician. Cas agreed and said he would think about it.

Dean left both Cas and Eloise sleeping in their beds when he ran out for a few things for Cas’ stocking. Dean loved to shop for Cas and he ended up being out for a couple of hours. When he returned, he found Cas on the couch feeding Eloise a bottle of breast milk. He ran to hide his purchases and then joined the pair in the living room. Cas looked like he was upset but not trying to be as he fed and talked to his daughter. Dean sat down next to Cas, wrapping his arm around his omega and pup as Cas leaned into his shoulder. “What’s up, Cas? You okay sweetie?” Dean asked, nuzzling into Cas’ soft hair to plant a kiss. His answer was a simple shake of the head, and Dean knew something was not right.

“I called Ellen and Dr. Tran while you were gone,” Cas spoke so softly Dean almost couldn’t hear him.

Dean turned to face Cas and asked, “What did they say?” Even as he asked Dean knew it couldn’t be good, Cas was clearly upset.

He explained, “Well, Ellen said that hormones could change my milk production, causing it to decrease quickly in the beginning of this pregnancy and also what I do produce could change in taste. Then I called Dr. Tran and she said the same thing and suggested I pump to see how much milk I was producing. Either way, she said that if Eloise wasn’t nursing well, she probably didn’t like the taste and would wean herself off.”

Dean was heartbroken for both Cas and Eloise, “Oh, hon. I’m sorry, is there anything we can do to fix it?”

Shaking his head, Cas answered, “No. I pumped and normally I get at least four ounces, but today I only got an ounce. It explains why she doesn’t nurse very long, I mean when I can get her to nurse. I don’t think it tastes good to her anymore.”

Dean just kissed his husband and didn’t know what to say. He just tried to convey his sorrow by hugging him.

“It’s alright, Dean. We have a freezer full of my milk and she is eating food now. I just didn’t want her to have to have pup formula. I think we have enough milk to get her to eight months old, but after that she will need formula until she is a year old and can have regular milk.” Cas seemed sad but remarkably in control, much to Dean’s surprise.

“So, do you just stop or pump or what? Won’t it hurt if you just stop?” Dean wondered how the whole weaning process would occur.

Cas sounded hopeful, “Maybe she will nurse before bed or maybe at naptimes, but I won’t make much milk if she doesn’t and I can pump if I get uncomfortable until she quits altogether. It will be fine, I will miss it terribly, but I’ve decided everything happens for a reason. Maybe the new pup needs me more now.”

“Cas, I love you so much. I know how important nursing Eloise is to you, and you have been such a good momma to her. I’m so proud of you, I hope I tell you that enough,” Dean spoke softly into Cas’ ear as he thought about how far Cas had come lately.

Cas turned into Dean’s lips and kissed him gently, “You tell me all the time, Dean and I’m so lucky you are mine and I am yours. I feel like we are in a really good place and I think I will be fine. It may hit me more later, but I know you will help me through it. It’s Christmas and Eloise’s first, so let’s focus on the fun times coming. When she naps this afternoon, will you help me wrap presents?”

“You bet, babe, and you’re right. Christmas morning is going to be so much fun this year, with Eloise and Henry. It’s a lot to look forward to,” Dean took Cas’ lead and focused on the positive.

*****

It was Christmas morning and Eloise had completely stopped nursing one week ago. Cas had stopped producing any amount of milk and had not suffered at all. He still got up with her every morning when his morning sickness wasn’t bad, Dean knew he treasured the quiet morning with their daughter. Unfortunately, this morning found Cas crawling, literally, to the bathroom. Dean had learned in the past month how to best help Cas without smothering him and so as much as it pained him, he let Cas crawl to the bathroom. He followed and got a cold wash cloth for the back of his neck. He waited for Cas to stop retching and then approached him with the cooling cloth. “Thank you, Dean…” Cas shuddered as he spoke. “Would you mind getting me some ginger ale?”

“Sure, Cas. You wanna go back to bed while I get it?” Dean asked sweetly. It killed Dean to hear Cas’ voice weak when he felt sick to his stomach.

Shaking is head, Cas answered, “Not done yet.” He turned back to the toilet and rested his head on his arm, moaning, “hhhmmmmmm…” Dean ran down to the fridge quickly and came back with the ginger ale and some saltines. He saw that it was only four thirty, plenty of time for Cas to settle his stomach and get a little more sleep before everyone arrived for gifts and dinner. They didn’t have to worry about breakfast, because the Novak brothers were in charge. Michael, Lucifer and Balthazar were staying with Gabriel who had taken charge of the morning, promising baked goods and coffee. Dean and Ellen were in charge of dinner and dessert in the afternoon.

Dean finally got his omega back into bed and stroked his fingers through Cas’ hair until he slipped into sleep. He took Eloise downstairs, avoiding the living room so that he and Cas could bring Eloise there together when Cas was feeling better. He started the oven and slid the roasting pan containing the turkey into the oven. He pulled the lasagna and all of the sides he had premade and set them on the counters to come to room temperature before cooking, with the pies he had made over the past few days. He took the tins of cookies that he and Cas had made and set up cookie trays for dessert as well. Ellen would arrive with everyone at ten and they would eat at two after sharing gifts. Set in the kitchen, Dean fed Eloise her cereal and bottle and then took her upstairs for her bath. It was only six thirty and Eloise seemed sleepy so instead, they crawled into bed with Cas and the little family slept until eight thirty.

Dean and Cas woke within minutes of each other and smiled at the sight between them. Eloise was still sleeping between them sucking away on the pacifier, new since weaning, her cheeks bright red with warmth and her sweet dark hair curled around her face. The shared good morning kisses over their beautiful daughter on the morning of her first Christmas. When she eased into waking, the three of them made their way to the bathroom, Cas feeling so much better, to indulge in a family bath. Dean leaned back in the tub, supporting Cas who held Eloise as she played.

Dean reached down by the side of the tub and picked up a brightly wrapped box and handing it to Cas. “Dean, what is this? I thought we were waiting for everyone to come for presents?” Cas said, though he sounded pleased to Dean.

“Eloise and I wanted you to have this with just us here, if that’s okay,” Dean explained as he reached to take the happy baby from Cas. Turning to face Dean and Eloise, Cas pulled then ends of the red ribbon, keeping them out of the water and quickly unwrapped the gift. He opened a white box and parted the tissue paper to find a tiny porcelain hand, fingers curved toward the word Momma in the center of the palm. Cas recognized the hand, there was no doubt that it was Eloise’s chubby hand cast in the silky looking medium. Cas could not resist kissing the sweet little hand before kissing the hands that modeled for the darling gift, then kissing the man who had taken the time and the thought to have the gift created. “There’s more in the box, babe,” Dean said with a smile against Cas’ lips. 

Cas reached back into the original box and pulled out a tiny, black velvet box. He couldn’t help but smile as he opened it to reveal a mother’s ring, a platinum band with an embedded light amethyst stone for Eloise’s June birthday.  Cas was thrilled with the gift and asked Dean to slide in onto his right ring finger. Dean explained that the ring could have more stones added as they added to their family and that he could put the ring in the palm of Eloise’s little porcelain hand when he wasn’t wearing it.

“Thank you my sweet alpha, I love it. You are too good to me,” Cas said as he admired the ring on his hand.

“Merry Christmas, Cas,” Dean whispered into Cas’ ear.

Cas turned into Dean’s lips capturing them in a deep kiss, “Merry Christmas, Dean.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AS always, comments are welcome and appreciated...


	49. The Best Christmas...Ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both families arrive for the big holiday bash and the big surprise reveal, but things don't go exactly as planned for Cas. The family however sees the progress Cas has made and Dean is grateful...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like to watch my characters suffer, but I think it is important to show growth and Cas certainly has come a long way from shutting Dean and his family out of the entire last pregnancy. Also, tough week for me and I needed hurt comfort to get through...

When Gabe arrived with the rest of the Novaks in tow and all of the breakfast food, Cas and Dean were dressed in their nice jeans and matching red sweaters with somehow tasteful Rudolph’s on them. No one could even tell that Cas had on paternity jeans, he wasn’t showing, but he could not stand anything tight on his waist with the nausea. The only reason Cas had convinced Dean to wear a Christmas sweater was because it matched Eloise’s outfit. She wore a fine corduroy, a-line, red jumper with an embroidered Rudolph on the front. She had a white turtleneck covered with little tiny Christmas trees and green cotton tights. There was a green bow on each shoulder and one on a soft headband holding back her precious dark curls. She also had on the sweetest shiny black patent leather mary jane shoes.  Her uncles were instantly mesmerized and stole her from Cas while he and Dean helped with the brunch buffet.

Before long other family members had arrived and Ellen and Dean had checked on all the dinner food in the kitchen. Dean had a precisely written schedule of what they had to do to be sure dinner was ready at two  and so that they could relax and enjoy the day with everyone.  With extra chairs from the dining room and plates of pastries and bagels on laps, the present opening began.

Cas and Dean started with their big reveal present because if they didn’t, they might both burst and blow the surprise. Dean retrieved a big gift bag from the back of the tree and they began to read tags and pass out the identical packages wrapped in old fashioned looking brown paper with red bows, Dean had chosen a Victorian theme this year for wrapping.  “Now wait for everyone to have theirs before you start,” Dean announced and Cas followed up, “We will tell you when to open, be patient.”

Bobby grumbled, “Just let me open my new picture of my grandbaby girl already, I can’t wait to see it.” Everyone in the room laughed because the gruff old man had dozens of pictures of Eloise and Henry in his office, in the break room of the garage, and of course at home. He even had a photo of each of them on the dash of his truck.

When each family member or couple had their photo, Dean wrapped his arms around Cas who now held Eloise and said with a big smile, “Go for it!” Who knew paper tearing could be so loud? The couple watched for the reactions as their families ripped open the pictures Charlie had taken. Puzzled faces stared down at framed photos.  Dean and Cas were standing in front of their fireplace,  wearing jeans and white t shirts with matching Christmas plaid flannels open over them. Dean was holding Eloise in the same outfit she had on today. Between Dean and Cas Charlie had photo shopped in a plus sign decorated with Christmas lights. Cas held his hands on his flat belly in the shape of a heart. On the other side of Cas was another photo shopped symbol, an equals sign followed by a four.   They waited for someone to interpret the picture Cas had chosen as their announcement. Gabe caught on first, “It’s a math problem, you two plus him equals four?” He paused before shouting “Two plus two equals four! Cas, you’re pregnant!” With that the whole room erupted, startling both Eloise and Henry. Suddenly, Cas was crushed by Gabriel, then the rest of his brothers. Dean slipped a crying Eloise out of Cas’ arms only to be surrounded by his side of the family. Both Bobby and Gabe denied the fact that they were both crying, also denying that they had been worried about Cas when they didn’t mention pregnancy results either way after Cas’ heat. Dean heard Cas apologizing, saying he didn’t mean to worry him but he wanted he and Dean to enjoy the news alone for a while before sharing it with everyone. Gabe answered, “I don’t care now buddy, I’m so happy, Are you happy? Are you okay?”

Cas answer took Dean’s breath, “I am happy, Gabe, very happy. I’m mostly okay, we had a few bumps, and the nausea is a little worse this time, but when I am not okay, Dean helps me. He has helped me a lot this time because I haven’t been stupid and I have let him and we are doing this together.” Cas looked up as he finished his sentence and caught Dean’s soft eyes staring at him as he spoke. The two broke away from the hugs to meet in the center of the living room to embrace and kiss. Whistling and shouting accompanied their affection and Balthazar shouted for them to turn for an impromptu family photo. Cas took Eloise and Dean wrapped his arm around his husband’s shoulders. At the last second when they were both smiling and Eloise was looking in the right direction, Dean reached across and sweetly placed his hand on Cas’ belly, causing him to blush and Balthazar snapped the picture.

Everyone asked for a copy of the picture and presents continued, Charlie gave Dean, Cas and everyone else a photo of Eloise sitting in a tiny wooden chair holding a little chalkboard that read simply, _One_ in fancy writing. There was an even tinier wooden chair next to her and on it sat a chalkboard that read, _Two, coming in September 2016!_ Cas and Dean’s copy was a large portrait which Cas insisted putting up in the living room immediately. Dean took down a piece of art that they had chosen just to fill the space on the wall and slid the picture of Eloise right into place. Then he and Cas unwrapped what appeared to be a large portrait that hung on the wall over the fireplace to reveal a huge version of the photo they have given everyone. The two portraits across from each other were just perfect.

Dean and Ellen popped in and out as presents continued and they kept up with the dinner schedule. Dean saw Cas eating pastries and drinking tea and was happy that his husband was able to enjoy the food as well as the company. If his belly was touched once it was touched a hundred times and he smiled and laughed through it all. Dean held back tears as he thought about how far Cas had come. In the back of his mind, he was a little worried that Cas might over do it with too much rich food, but he was so happy to see him enjoying it he didn’t have the heart to say anything.

When the paper was cleaned up and the gifts organized into piles and bags to go home or stay out of the way, Eloise and Henry were in her new playpen with some of their new toys and happy as could be while the adults helped get the table ready for dinner.  There was a beautiful red cloth on the long dining room table with white china dishes and simple candles down the center. Green napkins in red berried rings sat next to each plate with the nice silverware out for the holiday, there were water and wine glasses at every place and Eloise’ highchair and Henry’s highchair were at either end of the table. Hot dishes of food were carried in and placed strategically while wine was poured and water glasses filled. A general air of happiness and celebration filled their home and Dean kissed Cas every time he went by him, asking him if he felt okay or needed anything. It was truly a wonderful day with the two families together.

As they sat down to eat, Dean, ever the entertainer, asked everyone to share something with the family that was either a memory or happy thought from the day. Most of them said they were happy to be together or were happy for Cas and Dean and the new baby, but when they came to Michael, he was the first of the Novak brothers to speak and he dropped a doozey. “This has been such a great day for all of us to be together and when we had Cas and Dean’s mating party a few weeks ago, we came to a decision. We were going to say something earlier but we didn’t want to cast any shadow on the happy news of our Cassie and Dean’s new little one. I hope this is the right time and what Dean intends for us to do when he says to share, but Luc, Balthazar and I have really enjoyed our times back here in Kansas and we want to be more of a part of all of your lives and especially, little Eloise and now the new little one coming,” He paused for a moment before continuing and Dean took the opportunity to speak.

“We would love for you guys to be closer to our kids; I think it’s great that you want to be more involved. I know Cas misses you guys a lot when you aren’t here for all the small events we have.”

Michael smiled gratefully and continued, “Well, I’m glad to hear it because we bought property in Kansas City and we are moving our bank headquarters there in two months. We are staying here through the new year to look for houses between here and Kansas City as well.”

“Really?” Cas asked incredulously. “My god this is even better than our news,” he said voice choking slightly.

Shaking his head, Michael said, “Nothing is better than your news today and we don’t want to miss the chance to be here for the whole experience this time. We just want to be to Eloise what Gabe is or what Dean is to Henry.” If there were any dry eyes around the table it was a miracle. Cas reached across and took Michaels hand as Dean rubbed his back. It didn’t take much to get Cas going lately and he was certainly emotional at the great news. Dean looked at each brother and they shared nods before Bobby broke in.

“Alright, no one can top that so we better just eat,” and with that he carved the turkey and Dean cut the lasagna while the sides were passed around. The food was delicious and Dean was delighted to watch everyone enjoy it. He fed Eloise mashed potatoes and gravy despite Cas’ concerns and he watched with concern of his own as Cas ate dish after dish and commented on how much he enjoyed the food. “Careful, Cas. You haven’t been eating much lately and this is really rich food,” Dean warned softly.

“I’m okay, Dean. I feel great and everything is so good,” he said thanking Dean for being so attentive as he stuffed a marshmallow covered sweet potato into his mouth.

Michael and Dean were finishing the last of the dishes in the kitchen while the others visited in the living room and played with the babies and their new toys. Eloise had gotten so many gifts it was ridiculous. Luckily, Cas and Dean had made a decision that while she was small, they would get her one toy, one outfit and one practical item, knowing that with only the two babies in the family she would be inundated with gifts.

Cas and Dean had gotten Eloise a playpen, she could roll around now and she had rolled under the coffee table once when Dean had gone to the bathroom. He couldn’t find her when he came back until she got frustrated and cried. Dean had been a mess for days after that little episode and Ellen had suggested the playpen for times when Dean or Cas needed to step away, like checking on food in the oven or going to the bathroom. They had also gotten her first baby doll. It was pink and soft with a sweet face and a little attached blanket. It even had my first baby embroidered on the tummy. Eloise seemed to like it and had sweetly planted kisses on its face when Cas had helped her open it. Dean had found the perfect outfit when they were out shopping one day. It was a very soft brown and pale aqua colored pant and shirt set. The pants and turtleneck were brown and the bottom of the turtleneck and the hem of the pants were aqua ruffles almost like a rumba outfit. There was a brown and aqua heart on the front of the shirt as well. Cas had found an aqua hair bow to match and they were finished. She had received so many other wonderful gifts, they were glad they had made the plan to limit what they got her. They decided that as she got older and there were more grandchildren so share the wealth, they would buy more for their baby girl and the new little one as well.

Michael and Dean were joined by Balthazar and the three were discussing the logistics of the business move and the best places he thought they should look for houses when Dean heard what sounded like Cas’ upset voice heading for them. Cas had eaten pie and cookies after dinner and Dean thought over time while they were picking up the table that Cas was looking a little green, but Cas insisted he was fine, so Dean left him alone and told him to watch Eloise while others cleaned up. Sure enough, Cas came to find Dean and was visibly upset, and a little greener than before. He flew into Dean who wrapped his arms around Cas as he buried his face into Dean’s neck and scented him.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he kept repeating sadly, between nuzzles and deep sniffs of his alpha husband.

“What is it Cas, what’s the matter?” Dean asked as he held Cas tightly to him.

“I don’t feel good, Dean and I didn’t’ listen to you. I don’t feel good and…and…” and with that Cas started to cry, soft and sad. Dean could see that Cas was not far from getting sick and he tried to reassure him with a calming tone. “It’s alright honey, you’re alright. I’m sorry you don’t feel good.”

Cas interrupted, “You tried to warn me and I didn’t listen…,” he sobbed again, “I shouldn’t have eaten so much…I don’t feel good…”

His two brothers looked concerned and Balthazar tried to help with the situation by rubbing Cas’ back only to have him wail louder at the touch. He pulled his hand back quickly but Dean grabbed it as if to say thank you for trying to help, and Balthazar smiled warmly at the gesture.

“I’m going to ruin everything…” Cas cried out as he spoke again. People began to come see what was wrong but Dean shook his head at Michael who assured everyone Dean had it under control and waved everyone back into the living room. “What are you going to ruin, babe?” Dean asked sympathetically, patting Cas on the back and scratching his scalp.

“Christmas…I don’t feel good, Dean…help me…please…” Cas sobbed into Dean’s shoulder as he shifted back and forth from foot to foot.

“You’re not going to ruin Christmas, silly. We have already had a wonderful day. Now tell me what I can do to make you feel better,” Dean soothed a nearly hysterical Cas. Dean was really surprised at Cas’ openly emotional outburst in front of the family. He had cried like this to Dean before, but not in front of so many others, maybe Gabe or Ellen at the most. Cas raised his head off of Dean’s shoulder and Dean recognized the look on his husbands pasty green tinted face. “Cas, are you gonna throw up, sweet heart?”

The simple nod was all Dean needed to move into action, “Upstairs or down?” he asked Cas as he began to walk him towards the living room. Cas pointed up so dean rounded the back of the sofa, Cas leaning heavily on Dean as they hurried to the stairs. Somehow Balthazar had gotten ahead of them and began to clear the way for the couple. Dean was glad he did because Cas was practically dead weight by the time they got to the stairs and Dean could see him concentrating heavily on not throwing up. When his hand went to his mouth Dean motioned for Balthazar to help him and they practically carried him the rest of the way to their master bathroom. “Almost there babe, hang on a bit longer.”

Dean stripped Cas out of his sweater just as they got to the toilet and Cas fell to his knees as the first round of many heaves began. Dean winced at the violent bout of vomiting as he rubbed Cas’ back. Cas moaned and groaned between each cycle of emptying his stomach but did not lift his head from where he knelt so Dean knew he wasn’t done yet. When he finally looked up at Dean, he looked so sad and so sick, Dean had a hard time holding back tears. Balthazar handed Dean a cold washcloth and Dean wiped his face before flushing the toilet. “You want to lay down on the bed for a while, Cas?” Dean asked gingerly. Cas shook his head an leaned back over and vomited again. Dean stripped off his sweater and when Cas was done that time, he washed his face and pulled him to his chest. Cas was still crying so Balthazar handed Dean some tissues. Cas took them from Dean and blew his nose. The sound was awful and Dean knew from his few bouts of heavy drinking in his college days that Cas had barfed up into his nose. Sure enough Cas gagged again and Dean got him back to the toilet as he vomited for the third time. “Deeeean!,” Cas sobbed sadly as he heaved and blew his nose again, trying to rid himself of the disgusting problem. “I know if baby,I know. I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” Dean tried to soothe without crying himself. It certainly wouldn’t help to have both of them in tears, so Dean bit his lip and concentrated on helping his husband. Eventually Cas was able to rinse his mouth with water and snuggle into Dean’s lap. Gabe, elected by the family, came up to offer ginger ale and coke, but mostly to check on the situation. Cas took the offered coke and sipped carefully. Dean washed Cas’ face with a fresh washcloth and Cas’ color began to improve. The coke did its job and Cas’ stomach began to settle. Dean held Cas and whispered to him as he ran his fingers through his hair. Cas loved that and leaned into Dean’s touch, eyes closed as he returned to himself. After about a twenty minute cat nap with Dean, Balthazar and Gabe maintaining silence and watching with concern, Cas blinked his eyes open, looked around at the strewn clothes, and seemed to remember what had happened.

“Oh Dean, I’m so sorry,” Cas apologized pushing up from his husband’s chest. Dean pulled him back down, gently, saying, “Don’t apologize babe, you didn’t feel well. Everything is okay as long as you are alright and feeling better.”

“I feel much better, now…even human again. Thank you, Dean. You are so good to me,” Cas said with glassy eyes of unshed tears. “Here babe, take a sip of coke and then we will get you to bed, alright?” Dean offered the can of coke as he spoke.

Cas took several small sips and then answered, “I don’t want to go to bed, it’s Christmas. But I do want to change into something more comfortable, do you think anyone will mind?” he asked looking from Dean to his brothers.

Balthazar spoke up, “No Cassie, no one will mind if you change your clothes, are you sure you are alright?” Cas nodded and sipped his coke again. The brothers helped Cas up and onto his feet as Dean got up and pulled Cas back into his side, kissing him softly on the temple. “How about some pj’s for the rest of the day?” Dean asked Cas  as they walked to the bedroom. Gabe asked Dean where they kept the cleaning supplies and told him he and Balthazar would clean the bathroom while Dean changed Cas’s clothes. Dean tried to say they didn’t have to do that, but Gabe and Balth gave the big brother glare and Dean told them to look under the sink.

Sitting Cas on the bed, Dean looked for their cute Christmas pajamas from the night before and decided if Cas wanted to wear pj’s so would Dean to even the playing field a little. Dean stood Cas up and pulled the t shirt over his head, making sure he had cleaned him up sufficiently. He slipped with pajama top over his head and then removed his paternity jeans and boxers, sitting him down on the bed. He put his feet into a clean pair of underwear and the soft flannel pajama pants before helping him stand and pulling them up to his waist. He gave his belly a quick kiss and then sat Cas back down while he changed his own clothes. Balthazar and Gabe emerged from the bathroom with a bag of garbage and Dean thanked them both with a hug, though they both reassured him they were happy to help, and even happier that Cas was looking to Dean for support and comfort. It was the least they could do for Dean when he was so good to Cas.

When they arrived back down stairs they were welcomed with laughter as Dean realized everyone saw their pajamas that both read: Mr. Claus. Cas walked into the middle of the room and apologized for the fiasco, but everyone reassured him that it was fine and they were determined to pick up where they had left off before Cas got sick. Cas plopped down on the couch and let Bobby put an arm around him, even leaning into his shoulder a bit. He took a moment to tell everyone that he appreciated their support and explained that Dean and he had been doing well but that the nausea had been bad and that Eloise had stopped nursing. Cas’ mood seemed to lighten after his admissions and they spent the evening playing new board games and snacking on leftovers from dinner and dessert, though Cas stuck to coke and saltines for the night. Dean looked around the room at the family assembled, thinking about how easily Cas had come to him for help and how he had reentered the day’s activities, in pajamas even. He glanced down at the watch on his wrist, his gift from Cas and Eloise,  with the face that was a photo of Cas holding Eloise on the day she was born and thought on the inscription Cas had inscribed onto the back: Thank you for helping me see the open door. Yeah, Dean thought this was the best Christmas ever…

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are very close to then end of this fic, maybe one or possibly two chapters left. Then an occasional time stamp...


	50. Let It Snow...Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winter is upon the little family and a blizzard is coming...Oh no, what will Cas and Dean do if they are snowed in...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a short little update! I am sorry it is short, but I felt some inspiration and wanted to get you a quick update! I am going to finish the pregnancy in several shorter seasonal chapters. This is the first installment, I hope you enjoy... I have missed this litle family but could not come up with a plan to finish the story. Originally I was not going to have Cas have the baby, just end with him being happy and pregnant, but then I realized I couldn't do it to you guys!

It was February, blizzard season in Kansas and they were expecting a doozy any time now.  Cas and Dean were at the grocery store after Cas got home from work, stocking up on the essentials and maybe a few fun things for when the snow hit. They had bottled water and batteries, diapers, formula, and matches, all things they had found out the hard way were not fun to be without in a snowstorm.  They also had a cart full of groceries with plans for some great meals like chili, chicken and dumplings and Dean’s beef stroganoff. Cas loved it when it snowed and Dean cooked comfort foods. He knew that if they had a blizzard, Dean would bake up a storm as well.  The last time they had a big storm, Cas had gotten stuck at work with Benny, Ash and Bobby, not home with scones and pie fresh from the oven.

Cas was well over his morning sickness now and just starting to show and was looking forward to a day home with Eloise and Dean.  They finished up the grocery shopping wanting to get home before it got dark or started to snow. Dean was a little overprotective with Cas since he got snowed in without him and started to get a little alpha when snow threatened.  Cas buckled Eloise in her car seat and then sat in the front seat and buckled his own seat belt. Dean climbed in the car and checked Eloise in her now forward facing seat and then checked Cas’ seat belt as well. Cas rolled his eyes at Dean, “What? I can’t help it, Cas. You know how I get since you didn’t make it home last blizzard. I don’t go alpha very often anymore, give a guy a break.”

Cas pulled Dean by his coat practically into his lap, “I know you’re a big bad alpha who takes good care of his omega and pup, Dean. Maybe when she goes to bed, I can show you how much I appreciate you, huh?” He kissed Dean deep and naughty as he dared in the grocery store parking lot. Cas was almost through his first trimester but had what Dean called “the Sexies” already. Dean pulled away and started the impala, driving his family safely home and calming down his protective alpha feelings.

*****

Dean pulled the car in the garage, and unbuckled Cas’ seat belt before getting out of the car to get Eloise. Cas had given up control of his seat belt to Dean after they were separated for two days during the last big storm. He let Dean carry in Eloise and didn’t even bother trying to carry in a bag of groceries. Instead, he played with their sweet girl on the living room floor while Dean brought in a put away all that they had bought at the store.

Eloise and Cas were on the carpet, playing with her favorite toys. She loved the rainbow colored stackable rings that Sam and Jess gave her for Christmas. Cas would stack them on the post and she would giggle ridiculously and grab them in her chubby little hands, one by one, pulling them all off. Then she would wait with bated breath until Cas would say BOO!, and then stack them back on for her. Cas never tired of the silly game because of the look of absolute joy on his daughter’s face.  Soon Cas could smell onions and mushrooms and he knew Dean had started beef stroganoff for dinner, and Cas loved Dean’s beef stroganoff. The weather channel was on in the background and Cas could see in the light on the back deck that the snow had begun.

Dean popped his head in and said, “Why don’t you bring Eloise in and feed her dinner. Ours got started late and it takes a while, we could have a mini date night…” Dean waggled his eyebrows as he added the last part. Cas got up and then picked up Eloise who had two fists full of plastic rings. He distracted her with neck raspberries as he pulled them from her hands and took her to the kitchen. He popped her in his old wooden highchair and grabbed a handful of cheerios from the sealed jar they kept of the counter. She squealed with glee as he dropped then on her tray and then wrinkled her brow in the serious hunt for each cheerio, popping them in her mouth one by one. Cas went to warm up her dinner, all homemade baby food, a Dean Winchester special. He would mass produce meals for her and then flash freeze them for freshness. Tonight she was having pureed chicken, sweet potatoes and peas. For dessert she would have applesauce, no sugar added of course, from apples they had picked themselves.

When Cas turned around with her dinner, he laughed out loud at the view of Eloise with three cheerios stuck to random parts of her face. Dean turned from the stove as Cas laughed, “How does she not feel that, Babe?” Cas shrugged, “I have no idea, but it’s cute as hell.” He snapped a photo on his phone before removing them and watching her fat fingers pick them up off the tray and pop them in her mouth, snorting a laugh through her nose. He put her bib on and pushed up her sleeves before beginning to feed her dinner. She opened her mouth wide, “Hungry, baby bird? Momma loves his baby bird.”

Dean stole kisses from both Cas and Eloise as he put her sippy cup of formula on her tray. “Baby girl is gonna need a bath tonight,” Dean laughed as he wiped sweet potato off his own face. Cas fed her the last few bites of dinner and then started on the applesauce. When she was finished, Dean offered to take care of the tray while Cas bathed her in the kitchen sink as he often did after dinner. He dressed her in a warm pair of pink pajamas with little snowmen all over them. Dean said they were actually snowgies from Frozen Fever. He dried her short, dark, curly hair carefully so that she would not get a chill. Dean and Cas played with her until she got fussy and then Dean kissed her goodnight and let Cas put her to bed as he finished their late dinner. Cas warmed a bottle and headed up to rock her to sleep in her nursery.

Dean heard Cas about twenty minutes later as he was setting the table for dinner. He could hear his husband straightening up the living room and putting away the baby’s toys. He snuck out to hug him from behind, causing Cas to jump, “Jesus, Dean! Don’t sneak up on me like that.” Dean showed no remorse and just began to kiss and nibble at Cas’ neck. Cas dropped the toys into the basket and turned in to Dean’s embrace, he was breathing heavily, enjoying the feel of Dean’s mouth on his neck. Dean kissed his way up Cas’ neck to his panting mouth and covered it with his own, as Cas opened and let Dean have access with his tongue. He whined a little at the feel of the kiss intensifying and pulled Dean closer with a hand on each shoulder. Speaking into Dean’s mouth he moaned, “God, I want you so much.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to leave it there...I promise to finish the rest tomorrow...


	51. Let it Snow...Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The storm hits and the family has some quality time alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm feeling a little shmoopy today, forgive me and enjoy!

Dean growled low in his throat when Cas said how much he wanted him. Cas purred back, knowing what he did to his alpha. Sometimes Cas worried that the way he shut Dean out during his pregnancy with Eloise had done irreparable damage to their relationship, but when the two of them together were reduced to these simple noises, he knew they were coming out of the other side molded into one. Dean enveloped Cas in his arms, pressing their bodies together from head to toe. Cas could feel his tiny baby bump press into Dean and it reminded him that his alpha had filled him once again with his pup. He was going to suggest that Dean take him to bed when the timer on the stove went off. They both groaned as Dean pulled away, “Better get that before dinner burns, babe. You’re gonna need a lot of energy later…” he teased grabbing Cas’ ass in both hand and pressing their hips together one last time and showing him just why.  “Go see if it’s snowing and I’ll bring dinner out here, okay?” Cas reluctantly nodded and went to flip on the back deck light, illuminating the snow that had started to fall.

Dean appeared with bowls of beef stroganoff over noodles with fresh from the oven yeast rolls. They watched the snow fall and ate their dinner sitting side by side on the couch. Now that Cas was only occasionally nauseous, he relished anything Dean made and he scarfed up the stroganoff with gusto.  Dean laughed, “I love to watch you enjoy your food, Cas.”

“What?” Cas asked as he licked the back of his fork to get a mushroom off of it. He couldn’t help being a little hurt, “Dean, I’m hungry…I couldn’t eat for months…”he frowned and lowered his fork.

“Oh Baby, I didn’t mean anything by it. I really do love it and I’m glad you aren’t sick anymore, I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Dean apologized and wrapped Cas in a sincere hug. “I made dessert….” Dean offered as an olive branch.

“OOOh what is it?” Cas asked eagerly, like a little kid, forgetting all about what had transpired a minute ago.

“Cheesecake brownies with icecream,” Dean said seductively, getting up and clearing the dishes. “Would you like some?”

“Mmmmhmmmm,” Cas answered grabbing a handful of Dean’s backside, causing the alpha to jump.

“Cas! I almost dropped the dishes!” Dean squawked in surprise.

“Dessert, pleeeeease!” Cas keened as he settled back onto the couch.

Dean appeared with a large bowl and two spoons and they fed each other huge bites of brownies and ice cream. By the time the bowl was empty, Cas was straddling Dean’s lap and they were grinding together, Cas moaning with his head thrown back as Dean devoured his neck with kisses. They could both feel Cas’ slick as their hips found their rhythm. “Upstairs, Babe?” Dean asked hopefully. Cas nodded with one arm around Dean’s neck and crashing their mouths together, his other hand pulled just right at Dean’s hair.

Groaning, Dean somehow managed to get to his feet with Cas wrapped around him and made his way to the stairs. He stripped Cas out of his clothes and quickly tossed his own to the side. Suddenly he found himself on the bed on his back and he shouted as Cas lowered himself onto his hard cock, “Cas…Jesus!”

“Deeean!” Cas cried out as he felt himself take Dean in completely. He waited just a few seconds before leaning forward and then sitting back down with a moan. He rode his husband’s cock at a punishing pace until his thighs burned so bad he couldn’t take it anymore. Dean could sense him becoming tired and braced his feet against the bed and thrusted up into his omega. “Please, Dean…alpha please…” Cas begged for release. Dean leaned up to kiss Cas as he wrapped a hand around his cock and stroked him to his orgasm. Cas arched his back silently,  as he pulsed into Dean’s hand and felt his alpha slide his knot into place and shout out as he came inside him. They settled comfortably, sharing soft kisses and sweet words and drifted off to sleep, happy and sated.

*****

Dean woke in the night and his knot had gone down, so he slipped out of bed to clean up in the bathroom. He brought back a warm washcloth and towel to clean up Cas. He wiped him down carefully and dried him, checking to be sure he was okay given the way he rode Dean earlier.  His opening was a little pink and puffy, but not bad. Dean dropped the towels in the hamper and then tucked himself into Cas’ side, shushing him as he stirred. “Hush, Cas…sleep my sweet omega…sleep.”He stroked his fingers through Cas’ hair and watched his breathing even out before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep himself.

*****

Cas’ phone rang while it was still pitch black outside. He fumbled for it as he untangled himself from Dean. It was Bobby calling to say that the blizzard was in full force and he wouldn’t be opening the garage today. “Enjoy your snow day with my little grandbaby girl, now ya hear,” Bobby told him. “Thanks Bobby. Tell Ellen to be careful if she goes in.”

“She’s only going if one of her patients needs to deliver, no office hours,” Bobby explained, sounding relieved.

“Good! Talk to you later,” Cas said as he hung up. He put his phone back on the nightstand after turning off his alarm. He snuggled back into the bed and into Dean’s arms. “Snow day, huh, Babe?” Dean asked as he kissed Cas warmly.

“Yep, stuck with me all day. Now let’s go back to sleep, somebody tired me out last night.” Cas teased.

He yelped as he received a playful smack on the ass, “Who tired out who? Now sleep until the baby wakes up. Then we’ll have a nice day, just the three of us.”

“Sounds nice,” Cas sighed as he drifted back to sleep.

*****

Dean heard Eloise and grabbed her quick to let Cas sleep. She had slept until eight thirty, a new record for the early riser. He had fed her a bottle and now he was eating tiny chunks of banana off of her try with gusto. He popped chocolate chip orange scones in the oven and set the waffle batter off to the side to rest while iron heated up. He was gonna carb load Cas today as a treat. He had fruit cut up and ready, but he was gonna spoil Cas today, he deserved it. He was watching the snow fall heavily in the back yard when he heard Cas pad into the kitchen.

They ate their fill of waffles, bacon, and scones with orange butter and even ate a little fruit. Dean took cups of cocoa into the living room to let Eloise play with her toys and he couldn’t help but feel how lucky he was as he watched Cas and Eloise giggle on the carpet. He slid down to be closer to them and couldn’t resist kissing Cas deeply before joining in their game.

Eventually Cas suggested a family bath and the three of them headed upstairs to soak in the tub together. They took turns holding Eloise and washing each other’s hair, then just let Eloise play with her bath toys while they enjoyed her noises and faces. They were watching her as she was engrossed with her duckies when she looked up at Cas and smiled a two tooth smile and said, “mmmmumma.”

Dean and Cas both sat up startling her and she looked like she had done something wrong until Dean realized it and smiled at her, “What baby girl? What did you say?” He turned to Cas, “You heard that, right?”

Cas had his hand over his mouth, eyes brimming with tears and nodded. Dean spoke to Eloise again, “Say it again, say Momma.” He gave her his best encouraging don’t be afraid of your whacky emotional parents look.

Eloise looked right at Cas and said, clear as a bell, “Mmmmumma.” “Yes, bumble bee…Momma,” was all Cas could muster as he hugged her to his chest and kissed her wet head. She said it a few more times before the water cooled off and they got out and got dressed in clean pajamas for a day of family fun. Dean got Eloise on his phone saying momma several times and texted it to everyone they knew. The texts coming back were so excited for Eloise and especially for Cas. Dean wasn’t even upset that she said momma first it was so mesmerizing to hear her say it, not that he didn’t make a mental note to teach her Dada after the storm. For now he let Cas have his moment and enjoyed it with him.


	52. Time Flies When You’re Having Fun (Also When You’re Having a Family)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas goes into labor and the family rallies around to help with the birth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo sorry for the delay in updating this fic. I never meant to leave you hanging, but another story got in the way. Unintentional Journey is now complete and I can now bring this one to a close as well. I hope you like this chapter.
> 
> More medical hand waving but graphic details, so be warned. Lots of fluff and a different nickname for the newest member of the Winchester clan.

Cas rocked fifteen month old Eloise on what was left of his lap in the nursery, hoping he could catch a nap himself before she woke. He was enormously pregnant and his due date of September fifth had passed two days ago. Dean was now in hovering, protective alpha mode, so Cas had sent him with a list of last minute things they needed for the new nursery, and from the grocery store. Truly they didn’t _need_ anything, but Cas sensed Dean’s need to do something productive and the soft look Dean gave him as he left for the store was of both apology and gratitude.

The months that had passed since that family snow day in February had done wonders for their relationship. Dean told Cas often how glad he was that Cas was feeling like himself again and how much he loved him. They had enjoyed this pregnancy as a family. Eloise had increased her vocabulary to include DaDa which had irrevocably wrapped Dean around her little finger. She could also say baby, or what they thought was baby, and she giggled and laughed incessantly, to the delight of anyone who heard her. The day she took her first steps, Dean had been unabashedly proud and also completely inconsolable that she was growing up so fast!

 Dean had struggled a bit with his alpha designation and his desire to be the one having the baby had resurfaced, though neither he nor Cas knew why. He had sought a counselor of his own and Missouri had been the perfect sounding board for Dean. She helped him come to terms again with not carrying a baby, and realizing he found satisfaction with being a stay at home dad. Yet she also helped him acknowledge that it was okay to mourn something he could never have, and helped him verbalize his jealousy of Cas in a way that healed them both a little more. Cas would always be grateful to her for that. 

They had celebrated Eloise’s first birthday shortly after Dean had admitted that he was jealous and Cas sensed a shift in Dean, a lightness in his demeanor. He had never visibly noticed it weighing on Dean before, but now that he had said it,  It was as if Dean had always needed to say it but thought he couldn’t. Cas watched with delight as this newly unburdened Dean planned Eloise’s first birthday with gusto. It had a garden party theme and was the cutest party ever thrown for a sweet baby girl.

They held the party in their beautiful back yard and Dean truly gave Cas a run for his money in the party planning department despite how wonderful their anniversary was last year. The main color of the theme was a pastel pink, but there were also pastel shades of green, blue, purple and yellow as well. Those colors carried through the linens, and the food. There were flowers everywhere you looked with an emphasis on the prettiest pale pink gerbera daisies Cas had ever seen. The cake was covered in sugar flowers and there were sugar flower cake pops, cookies, and favors for everyone to enjoy.

Gabe and his crew catered the whole party, just like their anniversary, with grilled  beef,  chicken, shrimp and vegetable kabobs, a variety of cold salads and refreshing cocktails for the adults. There were simpler foods for the children of grilled chicken, sweet potatoes and veggies, and natural fruit punch, all of which which Eloise gobbled up. Cas had encouraged Dean to invite his friends from the MOPS group, including Victor and Dean was grateful for Cas jealousy being over. He was sure all the extra kisses and the occasional ass squeeze was because Cas was enjoying the party, not because Cas felt the need to mark Dean in front of Victor, well pretty sure anyway.

A twinge of discomfort broke him from his thoughts and he realized that Eloise, sucking away on her pacifier, was asleep, so he hoisted himself up and carefully tucked her in her crib. He had been having some tightening in his belly all morning but he had not shared that with Dean, wanting to be sure he was actually starting labor. Dean had been so worked up since the last trimester began and they had taken childbirth classes. Dean told him one night that he had never been aware of so many things that could go wrong in a delivery. Cas was close to saying that Dean was driving him nuts. Suffice it to say, Cas drove Dean over the edge when he told him he wanted to deliver at home this time, and potentially in the tub. As the tightening passed, Cas felt something slip out of him and sure enough he had passed some mucous. He would tell Dean when he got home, he was in labor.

*****

Dean was shopping when he got a funny feeling, like when the hair stands up on the back of your neck. He knew Cas was off a bit today, and he was glad Cas had sent him to the store. Dean was not afraid to admit that he had been a bit smothery to Cas and Eloise when he found out that Cas wanted to deliver at home. They had actually gone to a full series of childbirth classes and Cas had done research before dropping the bomb on him but he was rather insistent, despite Dean’s reservations and objections. Many an appointment with Ellen ended in a chart of pros and cons being written. In the end he had agreed that it was Cas’ choice and he had come to peace with it. Cas confided in him tearily one night that he needed to be home as long as things went well but that he couldn’t do it unless Dean was supportive. He told Dean that he would have the baby anywhere as long as Dean was there for him. Of course Dean immediately felt terribly guilty for putting his feelings before Cas’ and agreed to the home delivery. He was still nervous, but they did their homework and on the bright side, they wouldn’t have to be away from Eloise.

Now as the hair stood on the back of his neck and goose bumps rose on his arms, he ran through the store grabbing the last of the groceries and headed for the check out. He texted Cas.

**From Dean: Everything okay Babe? On my way home.**

**From Cas: Yes all good, glad you’re coming home.**

As he read that text his feelings were confirmed. His omega was in labor, he just knew it.

*****

Eloise had been down for about forty five minutes and Cas had three or four contractions by then. They weren’t really painful yet but Cas went to the new baby’s nursery to check on everything to be sure they were as ready as they thought they were. “come on my little dragonfly,” Cas said aloud as he patted his belly. This little one had been a bit more forceful in the pregnancy, where as Eloise had always been like a slow buzzing bumble bee from Dean’s flower beds. Cas likened this baby to the more determined yet still beautiful dragonflies that darted back and forth among the blooms.

He entered the beautiful nursery adorned in shades of green and purple, with plaid fabrics and dragonflies dotting the walls and bedding, and sighed. It was such a peaceful place for a baby to grow and be nurtured. Cas couldn’t wait to sit in the stuffed rocker and nurse his new baby. He had missed nursing Eloise terribly when she weaned during the early weeks of this pregnancy. The room was as ready as it needed to be, how could it not be with Dean on nursery patrol and with Cas being all in this time.

He had enjoyed his pregnancy, something he never thought he would be able to say before his therapy and talks with Dean. He was almost sad it was ending, even though that meant meeting this new life he had carried for so many months. He found the boxes in the closet and pulled them out into the room. As he unpacked the home birthing kit materials, he heard Dean come in the door and call out, “Cas, babe?”

He jumped up and ran, well waddled fast, to catch Dean before he woke Eloise.

“Here, Dean. Shhhhhh! Eloise is napping,“ Cas warned as Dean pulled him in for a hug.

“I’m sorry, but I got this feeling in the store. I kinda panicked and came flying home. You’re in labor, I felt it and now I can smell it. Are you okay?” Dean asked, brow wrinkled in concern.

“I’m fine, Dean. Thank you for asking. Now help me unpack the birthing kit. We need to set up the small folding table in the bathroom, then we can cover it with the sheet in the kit and lay everything out like Ellen showed us in the diagram. They got to work finding all the items Ellen would need when she and Jo came to deliver the baby. Once everything was set, they took a second clean hospital sheet from the kit and used it to cover the table and its contents. They were officially ready.

Eloise woke after Cas napped and Dean had made them a late lunch. He had been able to sleep through the contractions earlier, but as the afternoon approached the evening, Cas called Ellen to inform her that he was in labor. She was with a patient but said Jo was at home and she would send her over to check how he was doing. Jo came over with Charlie and her camera to start capturing the events as they unfolded. Cas was relaxed and comfortable, breathing with Dean when they arrived. Cas lay on the couch as Jo took his vitals and found his temp and blood pressure to be normal. She listened to the heartbeat and then slipped a sheet under his bottom and another over his knees while she examined his cervix.

Cas was much more at ease with the birth process this time around and welcomed Jo’s  checkup, knowing it brought him that much closer to bringing their baby into the world. He was glad his vitals were good and had no problem slipping his jeans and underwear down as Jo covered him. He did however reach for Dean’s hand during the exam, they weren’t exactly fun. Dean was eager to support him during the birth and Cas was glad he felt more in control this time.

“What time do you think you started contractions?” Jo asked as she examined Cas.

“Sometime mid morning, maybe ten or so, why?” Cas was curious as to why Jo wanted to know.

Removing her glove, Jo smiled and answered, “Because my dear brother in law, you are already dilated to four  and from what I can see, the contractions aren’t even strong or consistent yet.”

“I would agree, but what does that mean?” Cas was worried and gripped Dean’s hand tighter.

“Hey, now, Cas,” Dean soothed and leaned down to kiss Cas on the forehead.

“You’re perfectly fine, Cas. I didn’t mean to worry you, and I can’t make any promises, but I think you may just have a fast delivery with this pup,” Jo reassured him. I’m gonna call mom and let her know what I found out. You can get dressed but you might want to put on something more accessible and comfortable, or better yet, go start the tub and climb in for a while.

Dean helped Cas pull up his pants and asked, “What do you want to do, babe?”

“I think maybe slip on one of my nursing nightshirts and a pad and walk around a bit. I think I’ll save the tub for when I am in a little more pain,” Cas answered as Dean helped him up off the couch.

They headed upstairs and left Eloise with Charlie and Jo while Cas got more comfortable. He walked around the living room and into the back yard for a couple of hours. Dean helped when Cas needed him but felt comfortable making dinner for everyone. There was a sense of calm with this labor, not the nerves of the last time. Cas was in control, and relaxed and Dean felt a little better about the concept of the home birth.

Cas had his phone on him and was calling everyone in the family to let them know what was going on. He asked Dean to be in charge of Eloise until Jess and Gabe arrived to help with her. Sam was coming after dropping two year old Henry at his grandparents’ house and all of Cas’ other brothers were on their way from the city.

By Eloise’s bed time, Cas was ready for the tub. Everyone had arrived, including Ellen and Bobby and it was a full house. Cas and mostly Dean put Eloise down for the night and then they headed for the bathroom where Jo had filled the tub with warm water. Balthazar and Gabe had filled the room with candles so that the main lights could be turned out while Cas labored. Soft music played and Cas sank into the water with a combination groan and sigh. His last exam indicated he was already dilated to six centimeters and he was just now beginning to really suffer though the contractions. All in all it was going well.

Jo and Ellen made Cas try to urinate once every hour and on the first trip out of the tub to the toilet, Cas’ water broke. That ended the reign of the easy delivery. Suddenly everything intensified and soon Cas was humming and moaning his way through every pain, clinging to Dean and practically pulling him into the tub, “Oh hmmmmmmm…shit…ohhh shiiiit…hmmmmmm…”Cas quietly hummed and swore with each contraction.

“Breathe babe, in through your nose and out through your mouth…that’s it…that’s it…” Dean coached as Cas leaned on his shoulder and squeezed his hand.

Each of Cas’ brothers took turns coming in to help support Cas and Dean, running for cold drinks, giving Dean’s hand a break, or fetching cold cloths for Cas’ head. Once it hit hard, there was little or nothing anyone but Dean could do for Cas and Dean could see the feeling of helplessness on their faces. Only Gabe had been here for this last time and Dean heard him reassuring them that Cas was fine and actually better than last time.

After one particularly painful contraction, Cas became more vocal and Dean had to really begin coaching more aggressively. He and Cas had discussed what Cas wanted this time around and Dean was faithful to helping Cas’ labor and delivery go the way he wanted. He was now counting Cas through every pain and having to hold him afloat in the tub as Cas curled into a ball with each contraction. 

“OOOhhh, Dean…its bad…this one is bad…I need to push…” Cas cried out and gripped Dean’s t shirt in his fist. Dean sent Michael to get Ellen or Jo, hey had both stepped out for sandwiches that Gabe’s staff had sent over.

They came in and Ellen donned a glove quickly, “Feeling the urge already, Cas? I’m gonna need you to blow until we are sure, honey, okay? No pushing quite yet.”

Cas nodded and began to blow with Dean’s help. He was a sweaty mess and Dean held him to his chest as he leaned over the tub. Cas cried during the exam, he had with Eloise at this point as well. It was like he didn’t understand why everything had to hurt. That is how Dean knew Cas was right and the baby was coming. He just hoped Cas wouldn’t have to push as long this time.

“Momma knows his body. Cas you are fully dilated. Jo open all the packaging, it’s time to have a baby,” Ellen announced. Dean was pretty sure there was a note of pride in Ellen’s voice.

When the next contraction hit, Ellen told Cas he could push however felt best and he went to town. “Feels better to push,” he said in Dean’s ear.

“Good, Cas…you push when you’re ready, sweetheart. Thank you Cas, I love you so much,” Dean encouraged his husband whom he still had cradled in his arms.

Cas did and before an hour was up he was crowning. “Dean and Gabe, you need to hold his knees back and wide so I can deliver in the next few pushes. I need access, okay?” Ellen gave directives and looked for confirmation. They both nodded.

The bathroom was quiet and still dimly lit, though Ellen had a lamp directed at the tub for the delivery. The room was also lined with their family as Cas requested. Sam and Jess, Balthazar, Michael and Lucifer along with Bobby all watched as Cas worked hard to deliver the baby’s head. Charlie, ever the stealth photographer, continued to capture the moments as they occurred.

Dean coached him now, as Cas was tiring and losing focus, “Come on Cas, you got it this time. Deep breath in and push 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9, 10, blow it out and deep breath in and push 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9-“

“Owwwwww, burns, owwww,Dean!” Cas cried out.

“Push through it, Cas. You’re crowning, it burns like that,” Ellen said.

“Come on, baby, rest a minute and we’ll get it next time…” Dean whispered and peppered Cas with kisses. “Almost done, baby, almost done…such a good job…doing so well...I’m so proud…”

Cas looked up at Dean and took a final deep breath and growled as he pushed. His face reddened with the effort and Dean held his breath as Cas grunted and sucked in another quick breath to push again. He hadn’t even noticed the water discoloring with blood and almost panicked when he did, but Ellen patted his arm, “Blood in the water is part of the process, it’s okay Dean.”

Just as he looked back to Cas face he yelled and then Ellen was saying the head was out. Both Cas and Dean looked down between Cas legs as Ellen told Cas to blow. He blew out puffs of air with Cas helping him resist the urge to push and they watched the baby’s head turning. Ellen was then telling Cas to give little pushes as she helped him deliver the shoulders and then suddenly Cas and Dean had their arms full of a crying baby. Then they were crying and hugging and soon everyone was crying and it wasn’t even eleven o’clock yet. Cas had delivered after about twelve total hours of labor and only about four of them had been difficult.

Ellen had a blanket over the baby as soon as the delivery had taken place. “Well, you gonna do the honors and announce what you’ve had, Cas?”

Cas and Dean stopped kissing long enough to peek under the blanket and Cas nodded to Dean who shouted, “It’s a boy! A beautiful baby boy, Cas. Thank you, sweetheart. Thank you…I love you so much.”

Cas held on to the baby and Dean at the same time. He couldn’t believe how fast it had all happened with this delivery. They had a son and Cas didn’t even feel all that tired, not like last time at least. He and Dean were both crying and then he remembered the baby on his chest and began to comfort his cries, “Hello there my little dragonfly, you’re alright. Momma’s got you and Daddy’s right here, too. It’s alright, baby boy, we love you…”

They spent the next few minutes looking at their sweet new baby and waited for Cas to deliver the placenta. Dean cut the cord just before it happened and they all let out a sigh of relief when the majority of Cas’ pain was over. Jo cut the cord short and snapped on the temporary clamp. “Why don’t we all give Dean and Cas a little privacy to clean up and move to the bedroom,” she suggested as Ellen announced the placenta was whole and began to package up all of the medical waste and materials they had used.

Bobby spoke up and asked the baby’s name, “What are you gonna call the little feller?”

“We’re gonna tell him first and then when Cas is more comfortable, we’ll invite everyone back in to meet him for real,” Dean said, wiping away happy tears.

Jo started the shower and Ellen and Dean helped Cas stand, still holding the baby. Dean practically lifted Cas to his feet and held him steady till he had his bearings. They were standing on dark towels, knowing there would be a lot of blood, and Ellen suggested Dean strip down to his boxers and step in the shower with Cas, so he did and the little family rinsed away all the water from the tub. Dean carefully washed Cas’ hair and gave him a quick and gently soaping, avoiding sensitive areas.

Cas let the warm water wash  the baby just to get off any fluids from the birth. He stopped crying and seemed to enjoy the warmth. Jo took him for a quick weight and medications. She kept him undressed and wrapped him in a blanket ready to go back to skin to skin bonding with Cas.

Cas rested his head on Dean’s shoulder and said, “Hey maybe he will like his baths, remember how much Eloise cried at first?”

“How could I forget? I thought we were scarring her for life, but now she loves them,” Dean chuckled as he stroked up and down Cas’ back where the water was hitting, “You okay Cas? Feeling alright?”

“Surprisingly good, actually. Not like last time, but it was much shorter this time and not nearly as intense,” Cas answered honestly, sounding a little surprised.

Dean defended Cas’ efforts, “Well it was still intense at the end, babe, but you were such a trooper. You were fantastic Cas, I really am so proud of you.”

“Thank you, Dean. You were right there for me every step, I love you. I think I’m ready to go to bed, though,” Cas said against Dean’s chest.

Dean turned off the water and dried Cas carefully with a soft towel. He got Cas into a pair of boxers with a pad and then wrapped him in a warm robe. Cas gingerly walked to the bedroom and Dean helped Him get comfortable against the pillows at the head of the bed. Jo followed with the baby and plunked him down on Cas’ chest while Dean stripped out of his wet boxers, and slipped on clean ones. He put on a pair pajama pants and climbed into bed with Cas shirtless. He helped as Cas positioned the baby to nurse.

“You ready to tell him who he is, Cas?” Dean asked as the baby nursed away and Cas leaned on Dean’s shoulder.

“This time it’s your turn to tell, honey,” Cas offered Dean. Dean smiled and kissed Cas sweetly but firmly.

He looked down at the little dark haired baby nursing at Cas’ breast with his little hand balled in a fist by his mouth framed with perfect pink lips. “Well, little boy, you know I am your daddy and for sure you know your Momma, but we need to tell you your name. You are our little Robert Michael Winchester, and we love you.” As if accepting who he was or approving his name the baby chose that instant to open his eyes briefly.

“I think he approves, babe,” Cas laughed. Now why don’t you put on a shirt and call everyone up to meet him. I think I’d like to wake up Eloise, too. Is that awful?” Cas asked with a pained unsure look.

“I was gonna suggest that next. I’ll get her before I tell everyone to come up.” Dean said as he pulled his shirt on  and left the room. Slowly everyone came up to the master bedroom and stood around the end of the bed as Cas moved the blanket to let them see the quiet nursing baby, clean but still naked.

Michael spoke up first, ”He looks just like you did when you were born, Cas.”

“He really does, I remember holding him when Mother brought him home,” Lucifer agreed, a little sadness in his tone.

Dean broke the tension when he arrived with Eloise who seemed surprised to be awake. “Here’s Momma, and look who she has…Momma has your baby brother. See the baby?”

Eloise crawled across the bed when Dean put her down and he helped her get close without leaning anywhere that would hurt Cas. She grabbed the blanket and pulled it all the way off Cas revealing the entirety of her naked brother. “Beebee, Dada? Beebee?” she said looking at Dean with a huge smile.

“Yes, baby, Eloise,” Dean confirmed as he tried to cover Cas back up a little, not wanting him to feel exposed to the whole family watching.

“Don’t worry about it Dean, they saw the birth, my chest is the G rated version. Let her meet her brother, honey.” Cas said, taking Dean’s hand from the blanket with a smile. Dean smiled back and nodded, proud of Cas’ confidence.

“Mumma,” Eloise said as if the baby was so mesmerizing that she was surprised to see Cas there at all.

“Yes, Bumble Bee. Momma and baby brother. Do you want to know his name?” Cas asked teasing everyone in the room.

“For the love of Pete, of course she does!” Gabe cried out and the whole room broke out into laughter.

“Put them out of their misery, Dean,” Cas groaned. “Then Gabe can get me some food…I’m starving.”

“Alrighty then! Everyone…this is Robert Michael Winchester. Named for two of the best Dads we know,” Dean paused to let everyone cheer and to nod to Bobby and Michael. “We wanted him to have the strong names of the men who raised us, but his own identity, so we are giving him a nickname from the get go! We are going to call him Bertie for short. That way we avoid the whole which Bobby discussion. And of course because the King’s Speech his one of Cas’ favorite movies. Sooo, everyone, Bertie…Bertie, everyone.”

Bobby and Michael made their way closer to Cas and Dean, both men emotional. They hugged and kissed Dean and Cas and took a closer look at their namesake. It was a nice moment and for the first time, Dean was actually glad Cas had convinced him to have a home birth.

Michael spoke softly to Cas, “I’m really honored, Cas. It means so much to me, knowing you have come so far and that we still get along. I just always wanted you to be happy and I know it hasn’t been easy,” he wiped a few tears as he spoke. Dean handed over a few tissues before stepping away to speak to Bobby.

“Michael, you were a young kid who had to raise three rowdy boys and all I have are good memories. I want you to know that I am happy, very happy and you are a big part of that. I know he is your nephew, but I am hoping Eloise and Bertie can call you grandpa,” Cas replied emotionally as Michael shared his tissues.

“I’d like that, Cas, I really would,” Michael smiled with his whole face when he answered.

Bobby and Dean had been having a similar conversation before returning to the bedside. Bobby leaned over and kissed Cas on the top of the head. “You done good again, Momma. I’m really tickled you named him after an old coot like me.”

“You’re welcome, Bobby. You’re a wonderful Dad and grandpa, I hope you know that,” Cas choked out.

“Alright, Cas. I’ve got sandwiches, salads, soup and goodies. What do you want to eat?” Gabe asked breaking up the emotional scene.

“Surprise me, surprise us. Dean you need to eat, too. And bring Eloise a cookie, we’re celebrating!”

The room began to empty, everyone congratulating each other.

Ellen and Jo did a quick assessment of Cas and Bertie and since it had been over an hour since he was born, Cas let Dean take the baby for a proper bath and to get dressed. Cas and Eloise started to eat the food Gabe brought on a tray.

“Jess and Sam and I are going to stay downstairs until morning. Then Michael, Lucifer and Balthazar are going to come back. I think Bobby and Ellen are going home as well as Jo, but they will be back in the morning, too. We have their numbers if you have any issues. We'll mostly be here to help with food, laundry and Eloise so you and Dean can relax with the baby. You tell us what you need. We have our cell phones on. Don’t hesitate to call us but we will leave you alone otherwise and camp out on the floor in the living room.” He kissed Cas and shook his head when he tried to argue, so Cas just let them do what they want.

Dean returned with a swaddled Bertie and they scarfed down what Gabe had brought them. Dean took Eloise back to bed when she started to doze off between them. He told the campers that they could get her if she woke again so that he and Cas could concentrate on Bertie.

After final medical checks and goodbyes, Cas and Dean snuggled down in bed with a happily nursing Bertie. They shared a few affectionate kisses, wrapped in each other’s arms,  and dozed off content with their family one member bigger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an epilogue next, I think. Anything you would like to see? Let me know!


	53. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A glimpse of the little family a few years into the future.

Cas and Dean sat in the seats of the St. Francis Elementary School auditorium. They weren’t Catholic, not even a little, but they had appreciated the openness that Pope Francis encouraged and when the little school opened in town, they went to the open house. They fell in love with the small environment and they felt welcome. More importantly they knew that their children would be supported there and not judged. The principal had actually told them that their policy was, “Judge not lest ye be judged.”

So here they sat now, with Eloise Grace, second grade Thanksgiving Essay winner in her hunter green plaid jumper, knee socks, black mary janes and two perfect braids thanks to Daddy. Bertie, six and in first grade sat next to her in his green pants, white shirt and green plaid tie. John Charles was four and attended the PreK program but wore no uniform accept a gym tshirt, which he wore tonight to be like his big siblings. Dean Samuel sat on Dean’s lap on the other side of Eloise where the busy almost two year old could be encouraged to behave with a box of raisins to dig at with fat toddler fingers. Charlotte Mary and Daisy Cassandra five week old twins born in October slept soundly in a sling against Cas’ chest. He wore the sling so he could secretly nurse both babies at once if needed. He hoped they would sleep through the whole thing. Sam and Jess sat across the aisle from them with their three children as well.

The principal, Sr. Bridget began the program with a prayer and both Dean and Cas respected that and had no problem with their children participating, they had after all chosen to enroll them in the school. Each of the grades took turns being called up and Dean took a video of Eloise’s class reciting a Thanksgiving poem and then Bertie’s class singing about a turkey hiding and everyone having pizza for Thanksgiving dinner. It was adorable. John’s class did the turkey pokey and he was an enthusiastic pokey-er if there ever was one.

Just as the essay winners portion began, Ellen and Bobby slipped in seats behind them, Ellen had just finished a delivery. They said Jo and Charlie were in the back and filming the entire thing as well. Everyone was getting a little antsy when finally the overall winner of the “I am Thankful” essay contest was announced. Dean looked at Cas and smiled but Cas was concerned because Eloise had not gotten to read hers and now the program would end. He was sure they had left her essay out by mistake.

“Our final award of the night goes to an essay that best illustrated a truly thankful heart,” Sr. Bridget stated. “This young lady certainly embodies the spirit of Mercy and acceptance as encouraged by Pope Francis. Our overall winner is Eloise Winchester. Come on up and read your essay, Eloise.”

Cas looked at Dean and realized that he must have known all along she was the winner. She trotted up to the stage, not one bit afraid and Cas could feel the tears already. He bit his lip to get himself under control and Dean moved Bertie to Eloise’s empty seat and John next to him so that he could sit with his arm around a still emotional post birth Cas before he made a fool of himself. Dean kissed Cas on the cheek as the clapping quieted, though he could feel the looks of the people around them. Sr. Bridget spoke again, “If you haven’t had the pleasure of meeting Eloise and her family, Eloise is the oldest of six children, three of whom are enrolled at St Francis School, and they aren’t even Catholic” The crowd broke out in laughter at the principal’s lighthearted joke.   “ The youngest two, twins were born just five weeks ago and we appreciate the effort it took for her parents Dean and Cas to get everyone here on a school night. I promise, it’s worth it.”

Everyone laughed and smiled at the little family sitting in the folding chairs. Cas could hardly contain his pride and then Eloise began to read her essay.

“I am Thankful, by Eloise Winchester. I am thankful for my Momma Castiel Winchester.”

Dean tightened his grip on Cas’ shoulders. He pushed a tissue into his hand as well.

Eloise continued in her elf-like voice with a lisp that could only be achieved by the loss of her front teeth, “My Momma loves us and takes good care of our family. He is different because even though he is an omega and can have babies, he works at our business Singer and Winchester Restorations because it’s what he likes to do. My Daddy, who is our alpha, stays home with the babies because Momma knows that’s what Daddy likes to do best.”

Cas stifled a sob, damn hormones, wiped his tears and looked at Dean who had whispered, “It’s so true sweetheart.”

“Momma wants all of us to do what makes us happy. He tells me all the time that no matter how I present when I am older, I can still do what I want. I believe him because that is what he does and what he lets Daddy do, too! Sometimes when we are out with our family at the park or at a restaurant, people say mean things to us. Momma says we have to ignore what they say and wish for them to be happy. He says they say mean things because no one ever told them it was okay to be different and to love yourself even if you aren’t like everyone else.”

Cas nodded with a huge smile despite his tears. The babies began to wiggle because of all his shaking, so Dean took Charlotte and Cas pulled Daisy up onto his shoulder to bounce her as Eloise went on.

“My two favorite things that Momma says are, ‘Be kind to yourself so that you can be kind to the world’ and ‘It doesn’t take a lot to make a difference in someone else’s life, you just have to do it.’ He  says that means love yourself so that you can love other people and not be like the people who say mean things. When we see people who don’t have a home, Momma stops and asks them what we can do to be helpful to them. Sometimes we buy them food or a bus ticket or a sleeping bag. Momma says we have everything we need so we shouldn’t be greedy and we should share.”

There wasn’t a dry eye in the whole auditorium at this point. Ellen was blowing her nose behind them and Dean was rubbing circles on Cas’ back to help him get under control.

“I am thankful for my Momma because he decided to be what made him happy, so our family can all be happy together. I am thankful that he taught me to be the same way so that when I grow up I can help people be happy too.  Thank you Momma, I love you for being happy.”

The entire auditorium erupted with applause when Eloise finished and Sr. Bridget invited the family up for a photo with Eloise’s plaque and gift certificate to the local ice cream shoppe. They somehow managed to corral all the children into the photo and thanked Sr. Bridget who complimented all of the children’s manners.  Dean thanked her while Cas hugged Eloise and told her how proud he was of her work.

They went to use Eloise’s certificate because she insisted on sharing it with her family and as they all ate ice cream together, their little family plus all the extended members, Cas realized that he truly was happy. Through the voice of his little girl sharing with an auditorium full of people all the things he had tried to model for her, he realized he had succeeded in finding his happiness right where he knew  it had been all along, with Dean and their beautiful family.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it is over, but alas it is...
> 
> Thank you to all of you for reading it and supporting me along the way. I will do a few time stamps. 
> 
> I am accepting asks on Tumblr for time stamp requests. They can be at any point in the story...


End file.
